u/Wide-Coat7484

I'm struggling a little to find the right band members. I'm trying to start a band with my girlfriend and we both play guitar and do vocals. We both have around 12-15 years of experience and have played live before in different projects not reflective of our styles but just wanted to do something at the time. Now we are looking to do a more serious band together. I've been working my arse off for a few years, accumulated a good live setup and a modest recording setup and just about ready to start learning to record from home on Reaper. I know the basics but granted, I still need to learn so much more, but I can record guitars and vocals and bass with a simple mix and midi drums just to get the structure and vibe of the track across better. I find just turning up and trying to show the song at a practice space people never really know what to play on drums and bass as they don't understand the vision. It's not really music you jam to it's all progressive parts interlinking together and would be a mess doing it that way. I would think musicians that are very capable could probably keep up, as it's nothing super crazy hard to play though.

I think I have enough to offer to be considered a valuable band member. I have a vision of what I want to achieve, trying not to have an ego just want to find like-minded people, I have a decent setup, a good amount of experience, some basic knowledge of recording and currently learning to drive, so in about a year Ill be able to help with logistics. However, whenever I've looked for musicians by playing at jams, or online music sites like Joinmyband etc, I can never find the right people. We write sludgy progressive metal, which while a little niche, is still fairly popular stuff among the metal community. Think bands like Mastodon, Opeth, Kylesa, Baroness, Castle Rat etc. When explaining this via text on the adverts we put online, or in person at the jams, we just find people that hone in on one aspect of our influences like - stoner, doom, prog rock (not metal), grunge etc. A lot of people that can barely even play their instrument, or people in completely different age brackets that have personality clashes. We are trying to be open and accepting with these things but if the personalities are a bit too shy or a bit too narcissistic AND they are different ages or don't play well enough, it's a bit disappointing. We don't want perfection but if nothing matches it's a bit hard to continue with these people.

From the experience of those who have been moderately successful in finding band members, is recording the demos more professionally gonna help find people that are more aligned with our goals? Where would you actually post them to find musicians in your local area? Or should we just keep the bounced files to share when we go to jam nights and stuff? We live in a very musical UK city with a thriving metal scene, so I know there's plenty of musicians who would be into what we do.

TLDR - autistic boyfriend said I don't want to go clubbing as will feel significant anxiety. Girlfriend whose birthday is extremely angry at me

For context, I have autism, so social situations are very difficult for me to navigate. I appreciate it can be frustrating to be around me all the time, but I am really trying to work on it for myself and for her.

I used to go out with her to events all the time and I had fun most of the time, but if the music is not something I really vibe with, I honestly find it unbearable. Especially as I don't feel like dancing and trying to chat with people you have nothing in common with is impossible, so I just stand around like a lemon and feel the judging eyes from others... On top of this the sensory overload from my autism can be pretty overwhelming. It's weird though because it depends entirely on the music. As a musician myself, certain sonic landscapes with bands playing live music, really hypes me up and I feel more comfortable. Electronic music, not so much, though I appreciate it and respect people's tastes are all different. I also just feel I'm growing out of the whole get wasted go clubbing thing and just want to see bands I would listen to at home to appreciate the art. I don't want to party much these days.

Last time we went to a club she was dancing with friends and didn't spend much time with me. I nearly left, until a mutual friend started to chat with me and made me feel a bit more comfortable. I do love going to live gigs with music we both enjoy but granted, I still have a bit of anxiety unless I drink. We enjoy much of the same things, I think she just loves to party and be social, whereas I'm obviously much more introverted. Other aspects of our relationship match perfectly and I'm confident we are both madly in love with eachother, so this isn't a fundamental mismatch of personalities and Id like to work on finding a compromise. We have many of the same hobbies, moral and political views, always laughing and going on dates together etc. so please don't get the impression we are not compatible. No relationship is perfect.

For my girlfriends birthday, she wanted a house party, so we had planned a party with a few friends. One of the friends now has posted an event of some music I don't really enjoy in the group chat and everyone has decided we are going there instead. I told my girlfriend that I want to be supportive of whatever she wants to do but like, we had a plan everyone was good with and now it's changed to something the person she cares about most (me) will be pretty uncomfortable within. It's NOT my day, it's hers. I get that. But I will obviously struggle to support her having her fun if I feel like having a panic attack or something. She was super mad at me, screaming how I never want to do anything, I'm antisocial and a nightmare and she can't handle my problems, she's going anyway, come or don't come sorta thing... This is not the first time she has exploded on me.

I have just said, ok I will go. Even if I don't want to go to this event, I want MORE for you to be happy but she was crying all morning and saying I don't love her and I am selfish. How should I approach this? I just tried to be honest about how I know this is going to go.

Does anyone have any information regarding what they used in the studio to make this sound? I like the kind of brittle yet powerful sound coming out of Brents guitar on this solo. Is it P90s or humbuckers? Which amp was used? Is it double tracked, or a chorus effect? There's Def something going on weird, but it doesn't sound double tracked to me, with the speed of the picking/hybrid picking parts it would be hard to make it that tight. Like it's got a loose feel, as was Brents signature sort of lead style, but it sounds like one take to me. Could be wrong though.

Seen a 100w head I've had my eye on for a while going for £250 but it's sold as is without testing. Messaged the buyer and they're happy to take a picture of the valves to check they're original, but apparently they can't test it's working safely. I assume that means they have no cabinet to test with but could also be bull and they're trying to shift a broken amp. That's fair enough I doubt saying it's broken would generate much interest but would be nice to know upfront it's history and if it broke when and how to kind of get an idea to ask a tech for advice.

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I checked with a local amp tech and they said it's impossible to tell without any information but if only minor things are wrong like scratchy pots, tube replacement etc, it could probably all be fixed for £300 and under meaning, minus the fuel to get to the seller, all in all would be £550 max. Based on previous sales, these amps can go for anything from £400-1000+

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Is this too risky? If something major is wrong could it cost way more than £300 to fix? Like old transformer is blown and the tech might struggle to find a replacement?

Can someone explain the difference? I understand it's not out yet but im debating which to buy. My needs in order from top to bottom are -

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For occasionally myself and mainly the other guitarist in my band who doesn't have a great amp yet to use as a power amp with preamp pedals (Science Mother preamp etc)

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Transparent attenuation for home use with 60-120w amps

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IR loading and silent recording to learn how to mix in reaper and play silently at night/morning

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These are all important to me but I guess the deal-breaker would be if either can't do any of these things or if they both can, then which is better at what. I'm a bit of an amateur to gear and somewhat confused with the limited information about the new Friedman unit but I think the Two Notes does everything I mentioned very well, if I'm not mistaken.

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As the title suggests, are there any out of the box Flying V guitars that have P90s and a trem system? I like the look of Kahler and apparently they stay in tune better than Floyds. I had a Dean Kahler V on reverb favourited for a while but now there's only a lefty version and the import tax would probably ruin me anyway as it's well over £1000 already. Those have Seymour Duncan humbuckers, not p90s and I just bought myself something with great humbuckers and a hard tail, so I'd like some p90s for leads and different tonal qualities and I love a V with a trem, so best of both worlds is what I'm after.

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Ideally, I'd like it priced at £1500 or less after all is said and done so that's including shipping and import tax to UK from USA/world.

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Custom/boutique brands welcome and lower price point would be fine as long as build quality is good.

I'm not actually sure if it was a scam or not, as it was very convincing and seemed like a real profile of someone who had a hobby matching the item I was selling. However, I looked into it and there seems to be a common FB marketplace scam involving someone organising their own independent courier to pickup the item from the seller in the UK to an EU country, then using PayPal outside of the FB marketplace system to pay you. After this they either say they didn't receive the item and perform a chargeback through PayPal, getting the money back and your item, or they try to get additional funds from you for "courier insurance" on the item. Since you don't have the actual tracking details yourself, PayPal always rule in the buyers favour, as they use their "proof" of purchase and you haven't got any actual proof on your end.

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After our initial messages, I waited to receive the money on PayPal before proceeding. Once I did, they said they would book an independent courier, and it was then that I looked this up for advice and potential scams and found the above information, so I instead just found another buyer on eBay.

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How should I go about refunding the money with minimal risk? Do I need to go to my bank and explain? Or should I go to PayPal and initiate the refund on the transaction that way?

UK - I recently had a message from someone from an EU country wanting to buy my item but they wanted to arrange an independent courier to pick it up from my house, as it's very cheap (£50 for them to arrange). They said they will pay for the item via PayPal and then the courier would come to my house to pick it up.

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I was uneasy, so I asked for the payment first before giving my full details. I also checked their Facebook account and if this is a scam it's quite elaborate as the buyer seems to have an interest in the kind of item I'm selling and has around 500 friends, lots of pictures of them doing normal things and activities related to the hobby with the item in question so...

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I got the money sent to my PayPal and have withdrawn it to my bank account, so all I fear is a chargeback or something. They have also shown me the couriers website, although it's in an EU language and being in the UK, so I don't understand the words.

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Is this a scam? As I said I only fear a chargeback and they have run off with my item, but I have the full details of all our exchanges, so surely legally I wouldn't have to give back the money? I'm going to film as they come for pickup as well just in case.

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The part that indicates that this is a scam to me is that I have heard of independent courier scams in the past. But I am not sure about this case in particular, due to the Facebook account seeming like a real person who is into the sort of thing i am selling.

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Sorry for the ambiguity around the item but I don't want to dox myself.

As the title suggests, I am wondering if I should start asking for concessions in the workplace for my autism. I don't need things like extra breaks, just that I work much better alone. I think it all depends on what work you do. For instance, I'm a housekeeper, so I'm on my own most of the time already, but occasionally we have to do service cleans of live in guests apartments and sometimes they are inside the room. My request would be to reschedule a time when they aren't there because I can't do it consistently and in peace. I feel watched and physically sick if they are there and it's so so so awkward for me. I understand they worry for their things but there's never been an employee theft in all the time I've been working there...

On the other hand, you can't really ask for much with most workplaces. Hospitality and retail you can't exactly ask to work alone all the time as it's not possible. Maybe in offices and computer based roles you can ask a lot more things, like wearing headphones or earplugs to focus better.

I've been advised by a friend to not disclose your condition as you are immediately treated differently, judged as a poor fit and they will look to reduce your hours and reason to legally dismiss you asap.

What are some of your experiences? As I'm suffering a lot at work for being different and my current boss and previous bosses had no idea I even had autism. It's hard to know how people will react...

Basically, I still want the item in question, as it's rare and a great deal, but they keep messing me around. I asked for a video with proof the item works as described (normal for this type of item and I'm going across country to pickup, so need to know beforehand). They agreed to do it but are taking a long time to do it, over 2 weeks. After finally getting around to it, they say something is wrong and it needs a service for a switch not working correctly, so they will get it fixed. It could take a week or so. I am very keen on the item, so happy to have that done, as I will have had a professional look it over for any issues, which is ideal really, as it's vintage and could be other things wrong with it, but I'm worried they are trying to wait out the process and take my money without having to part with the item. Could be they are just very busy or elderly by the sounds of their messages but just in case, I need to know something.

How long after purchasing a collection only item can I still submit a claim if the seller is not available to pick it up? All the info online says to look at the estimated delivery date, but being collection only I can't seem to find this anywhere.

In Skyrim, shouts were the special power that set the player character apart from most NPCs, the exception being some bosses/dragons. It made for more interesting combat dynamics, especially for simpler builds like the sword and board warrior. Many people have suspected TES6 will have a similar power.

Given we are all pretty much set on Hammerfell being the likely location of the game, many have speculated Sword Singing as being a potential power similar to shouts, but this presents an obvious issue, being that any straight up gandalf or DnD style Mage and all kinds of Archer builds can't really make use of this, as well as illusion pacifist and conjuration focused builds never using it either. This got me thinking of ways the whole combat triangle could get their own equivalent power somewhere in the game.

Considering all the speculation surrounding the plot, whereby the Thalmor might finally try to unmake the world by destroying the towers and the tower off the coast of High Rock being associated with the Numidium from Daggerfall. High Rock is generally a very magic focused province as well. The Numidium's recreation via the player character finding pieces of it, similar to the word walls in Skyrim, could be the Mage equivalent to Sword Signing.

Are there any archery "powers" in the lore that would realistically make sense to place into TES6, at least at the kind of power level of the Sword Singers of old Yakuda and the Dwemer creation of the Numidium? Alternatively, these two could be the only "powers" and the Numidium could have some kind of functions applicable to a kind of bow/crossbow wielding engineer, some stealth capabilities or something. As well as a warrior who uses bows at a distance still being able to utilise sword singing at close range, kind of like a buffed out Link from Zelda games

I don't know much about what the Numidium actually is, I've just heard it spoken about in a recent TES6 theory video. I just thought it was interesting to speculate.

Is this normal? Basically, if I put the master volume past 4 (usually have it pretty high), the gate works, but it makes a loud popping sound when it activates. This is the same on different cabs, when I don't use the FX loop pedal chain I have, when I just go straight into the amp with multiple different guitar leads, so I know it's the noise gate itself. I have tried it with the noise gate dial in the back of the head at different settings, minimum, 3, noon and maxed and it's the same no matter what.

If this is just how it is on this amp then I will just get a pedal instead and put it in the loop. I'm realising its not that noisy of an amp by nature and super tight already but might be useful to have silence when not playing and tighter chugs when pedals are pushing it harder.

My speaker cable broke when moving my cab closer to the wall, as I didn't leave enough space. I'm thinking to get a right angled speaker cable (right angle into power amp output, straight into cab input due to the input cavity being quite deep on some cabs).

A couple of questions:

- Does length affect anything with the tone/latency at all? If not I think it would be smart to get a longer speaker cable just in case I need to use it for recording/live purposes.

- Does quality matter in a speaker cable? As long as it's a speaker cable not a guitar lead I thought it would be fine but just checking if spending more is worth it or not.

- Finally, some suggestions? Tempted to just get the typical one from gear4music as it's reasonably priced and has the right angle to straight config I mentioned above. Is there anything better/more durable you'd recommend?

They have suggested that the library or maybe a coffee shop could be good but I will be discussing some personal things and dont really want people overhearing our conversation, or worse bump into someone I know...

Just a question to all doom guitarists here who play live shows regularly. In the age of modellers, bringing 100w+ tube amps to small gigs is sure to grind the gears of sound engineers to at least some sort of degree. I love when I crank a dual head/2 4x12 cabs at home in stereo. Using attenuation gets me close to the same kind of sound I get in a practice space when doing this but still isn't quite as powerful sounding at home with the attenuation, it sort of sucks the tone somewhat to my ears. I'm using good attenuation too the two notes reload 2. Maybe it's just a volume thing and the perception of "loud=better" but it's hard to really gauge as it's rare I get to actually crank the amps without the attenuation and I can't directly compare the two at home by recording them with a mic and matching the levels as it's just too loud without the attentuation for my small flat.

My band are about to start trying to book local gigs but a lot of the venues in my city are very small capacity. Ive tried before to use a modeller live and while for certain genres it doesn't really make much difference and people in the audience never notice, I feel like doom kind of needs the power? I also feel my own enjoyment of the gig is reliant on actually having the tone the way I like it, feeling the air getting pushed from my cabs and the modeller wasn't really cutting it for me. It was clear through the PA but sounded very artificial. On the other hand I've never used MY tube amps live just the backline they had at the venue and in completely different genres like punk, psychedelic rock etc. Do you guys have slightly lower wattage amps for smaller venues? I can't get a tiny terror to sound the way I want at all it's nothing like a Laney 100w or Matamp or even a solid state orange at higher wattage. Do you guys just crank phat stacks anyway without attenuation and tell the sound man to get stuffed? Do you use attenuators and are satisfied with everything (likely what I will try)? Have you ever had any problems with sound engineers even when doing this? Not sure whether to just say "I'm using attenuation so it's fine, you do your job I'll do mine" then ignore them if they insist on turning the tube amp down to like 3 or 4. Always sounds better to me with my gear when it's at 6-8 on the master but it's probably far too loud doing that in small venues...

I'm trying to buy an amp on Ebay but seller is taking days to come back to me each time I message them. To be fair, I'm the one asking favours from the get go, as they had pickup only on the listing, but I requested if I could send a trusted "courier" (man with a van with trustpilot reviews etc) to pick it up. They've agreed to that, but I want to know its working as I've been shipped broken amps before and had to make a dispute with ebay. They said they would agree to upload a video to the advert so that I can see its working, because thats the only way to show a video due to Ebay not allowing links or email details in the messaging centre. However, I'm a bit worried now as its been a few days that theyre just ghosting and want to sell to someone else who will pick it up. I wanna know if its unreasonable that I asked for some proof its working? Personally, I havent had an issue doing this exact thing myself before when selling a guitar, so I dont see the problem. If I went to pick up myself I'd just check it out in person but I cant risk paying for it without seeing it properly, at least with a video I have some protection.