I am not The OOP, OOP is u/nathaliebeta

Me [31/F] with my Fiance [33/M] Fiance best friend [33/F] have a weird relationship, driving me insane

BoRU 1

TRIGGER WARNING: >!Stalking, obsessive behavior, controlling behavior!<

Editors Note: because of character count and length, all previous posts will be summarized. The previous BoRU has all full posts

Original Post  May 3, 2015

In the original post concerns OOP and her fiancé regarding his lifelong best friend, Sandy. Who he selected to be his female "best man" at their upcoming wedding. While OOP tried to accept their exceptionally close bond which included daily contact, late-night phone calls, and open expressions of love, she became increasingly uncomfortable with their history, lack of typical boundaries, and a tip from a friend hinting at a potentially sexual past between them. The final straw came when the fiancé admitted that during a past trip to Jamaica when they were both single, they participated in a "couple swap" with another married pair. Though he insisted that he and Sandy never actually slept with each other.

Update 1  June 6 2015 (1 month later)

OOP confronts her fiancé, demanding that Sandy be replaced as best man and cut out of their lives entirely. When he refuses to abandon his best friend but offers to ease contact and skip the bachelor party, she gives him an ultimatum to choose between them prompting him to immediately call off the wedding and end the relationship stating that if she cannot trust him after years of complete honesty, it isn't worth the trouble. Before leaving, he confirms the Jamaica story but clarifies that while they were all naked and swapping did occur, he and Sandy only slept with the other couple's respective partners and never with each other. In the aftermath, OOP realizes she acted out of jealousy and regrets sending harassing texts to Sandy, and desperately tries to win her fiancé back only to find he has packed his things, left his keys and cut off all communication completely.

Update 2  Dec 29, 2015 (6 months after last update)

In update 2 OOP reveals that months of stalking and harassment towards her ex and Sandy led to a meeting with Sandy, where OOP realizes how everything is messed up and she went too far. Things such as following the breakup OOP repeatedly tried to corner her ex-fiancé at his workplace, tracked his movements and flooded him, his sister, and his parents with messages leading her ex to block her and change his phone number twice. Sandy eventually met with the OOP to deliver a final warning that the ex-fiancé was preparing to file a restraining order if the harassment did not cease. OOP tried to downplay her behavior as a series of misunderstandings and blamed Sandy for being toxic and threatening, the intervention OOP to come to terms that the engagement was permanently over and that she needed to cut contact, focus on her own therapy and attempt to move on with her life.

New update

10+ years update consequences and lesson learned  June 22, 2026

Have not been in reddit for a while here is the original: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/34r6ah/me_31f_with_my_fiance_33m_fiance_best_friend_33f/

Hello

I am Alive...well, it has been a little over 10 years from my last update.

The other day I was listening to some facebook reel, and what do I find? My old story, I haven't been on reddit for a while and had a hard time tracking my old account and my password, I have some news, this is going to be long.

First let me tell you I am doing much better, I had to move in with my mother as her health has not been the best, I am a single mother and have a wonderful daughter unfortunately due to circumstances she lives with her father. My sister is not doing so good, she has struggled with weight issues and depression , things are improving for her and she has some lovely pets to keep her company.

I am in a much better place now, I have had a lot of therapy and it has helped me cope with a lot of issues, understand things differently, making me a better person. My life has been a lot tougher than I expected, I am trying to focus on being a good mother, a good daughter and good sister.

I have some nice co-workers. Sometimes we go out and hang out after work, just a shade of the old social life I used to have. It has been humbling.

I have not been lucky on the dating scene.

I will be as honest as I can, it's been a long time so I can't remember every detail, however I believe it to be therapeutic to get this out.

I did get served with criminal charges for stalking and harassment, it was a lot of trouble for me, it is too long and painful, but the highlights are.

My sister and I could not contact my ex in any way.

I had to stay some distance away from him, I could not contact him via third parties nor use anyone else to get messages to him.

His family was off limits

I could not contact his work

I could not go to his house

I did not see him in person again, it was all through his attorney.

I had to get a lawyer, at first I thought I did not need one, in my hubris I believed I was in the right and had nothing to fear, I was angry and felt wronged, however my ex's  lawyer contacted me and told me I needed one asap because this was no civil court, the charges were coming from the state, he told me I would most certainly go to jail, my mom helped me pay for one, it was not cheap.

It was humiliating and very eye opener, we met with someone from the prosecutor’s office (can't remember the title) they presented a large number of printouts of the messages I had sent my ex, sandy and his friends. There were prints out of the social media post I made, there were recordings of the voice messages me and my sister left him, his sister, Sandy and a couple of our friends, there were call logs of when I contacted his work, recordings of said calls, statements from our old group of the people who I believed were my friends, from his family, from his sister including the ones in which I was just venting, emails I had sent, emails my sister had sent, even some from fake accounts in which I pretended to be someone else. They did not paint me in good way, now all these years later I admit they were too much, in particular the ones were I threaten him.

There were incident reports from his HR department due to the harassment I had done, there were several police reports as well, video of me driving by his house, parking outside of his new place, he took the videos. He knew I was watching so we weren't as sneaky as we thought we were.

The final incident that made me think long and hard and convinced me to snap out of it was when me and my sister were following him in her car and we got pulled over by the police, we were detained, my ex had called emergency services... that was .. the moment that made me realize I had gone too far, that was of course included, it scared me.

My mom was devastated when she saw all the information. She was crying and weeping asking me and my sister on how we could have done this.

Believe me it was damaging, did not paint us in a good way, and there was no excuse for what me and my sister did, I can't believe how unhinged I was.

My ex's lawyer was not working for the state, he was the one who gathered everything, he was very friendly and not aggressive at all, he told us my ex just wanted this solved, and be done with it, very professional, not like they appear on tv or shows, he was like: you messed up bad, but we don't want to screw you 100%

At that time I asked my attorney if we could fight the charges or do something about it, he said we could but we would have to find someone else, he was not taking it. He told us this had been going on for a long time and we would be lucky if I stayed out of prison, he did not hold back, there were tears, fights and blames between my mom, my sister and me.

I contacted my uncle, my moms older brother who has always been a father figure, he met with the lawyer as well, when he saw all the evidence and heard all the story his eyes filled with tears, he could not believe what we had done, still 10 years later our relationship has not recovered, he looked so shocked, he said he had failed. The look of disappointment in his face is something that still haunts me

He told the 3 of us to take the deal, accept the restraining order, the probation, the misdemeanor, as it was the best we could get and it could get very ugly if we fought it, including possible jail time. We came to an arrangement, he would reach the prosecutor.

I had to go in front of a judge and admit to it all, the prosecutor was there, he was the one that recommended the terms. I would accept the restraining order, no contact... probation for 3 years, community service, a big fine, therapy, group therapy, my ex was not present, his lawyer was but said nothing.

The Judge was very harsh, she did not mince words, she told me people have done prison time for less, that I was lucky my ex fiance had spoke kindly about me to the prosecution otherwise she would have imposed a more severe punishment, she asked me directly if I knew the difference between a felony and a misdemeanor? - she explained it- She asked how would we feel if the roles were reversed and my ex had done all these things to me,how would my family feel about it? That one hit hard and we all cried. Terrible terrible things I did. She had me read out loud some of the emails, texts and transcripts of the voice messages I had sent my ex and Sandy, it was so bad that it still rattles me, she asked me what I was I thinking? My attorney several times tried to say something, telling the judge that it was summarized, but she told him to shut up and to keep reading, she said I had to be accountable for all this, I was crying so hard when I read the messages, it was terrible, even when I was sobbing, the judge made me pause, compose myself and then to keep reading, the ones we sent Sandy were the worst of all, she made me read them all, my mom, my sister and me were crying the whole time, my lawyer was shocked about the reaction of the judge, It was horrible, long, time consuming, expensive and it was all on me, the Judge said at the end that she was not pleased with the results and if it were up to her my punishment would be severe. My lawyer was rattled and told us we were lucky, as he had worked with this judge before and had never seen her so upset. I had to get a bank loan at terrible rates to pay my mother and all this mess.

My ex did not want any restitution, so he did not go the civil court way, which my lawyer told me that once again we were lucky because we would have to pay a lot of money due to the amount of evidence and the length of time it had been going on. We got a separate private agreement, the lawyer made it clear that this was not a reward for my actions but a generosity as he wanted to move on cleanly.

At the end my ex would let me keep the car (it was his, I was using it ) transfer the title to me, and he would pay for therapy.

I did not see this coming, I was so caught up with the drama and thinking stupid scenarios that it bit me hard, still at the end he was being the better person.

The Lawyer provided me with a list of therapists, the first 2 were no good, the third one was the best.

After the 6 months were up I contacted his attorney and asked if my ex would be willing to pay for more sessions, his lawyer said my ex agreed if I kept my part of the bargain and not contact him ever again, he paid for an additional year of therapy that was in 2016 - 2017

He got married in 2018, of course I was not invited to the wedding.

All of my old group of acquaintances who I thought were my friends, stopped contacting me and cut me off. That tells me something right?

The wife of one of my ex friends, let's call her Jenny, was pretty much the only one of that group that had anything to do with me, She got divorced from her husband shortly after my trial, even though she did not say, I believe it was related to all this Sandy ordeal. We meet every once in a while. Later on She was the one who showed me the posts and the pictures of my ex wedding.

His wife seems nice enough, however looks simple and bland. They have 2 kids now.

I had a meltdown when I saw the pictures and it took me a lot to contain myself. Regarding Best friend Sandy, what can I say She was indeed the best man at his wedding, she wore a tux with bow tie and everything.

She seemed very close to his new wife, they had plenty of pictures together being friendly and going out, some at the beach. They had a bachelor party at San Diego instead of Las Vegas, I Believe for a convention or event or show of some sort, costumes and all that, a lot of pictures, some at bars smoking cigars and drinking,  couple of male friends with them as well, some I knew and recognized, some I didn't .

The old group was at the wedding.

I had a ton of question in my old posts that I could never answer so I will  do it now:

• I did not kill myself ,neither did my sister

• yes I  checked his phone, he didn't care about it, no he did not check mine, he could if he would have wanted , he did not.

• Yes I was honest, I did leave out some parts, like finding his new place and calling his work, following him around, and some more things I can't remember.

• Yes I lost my job at that time , that's the main reason I had so much time on my hands.

• The box of toys were not sex toys, they were some action figurines and some ships? cars?

• I stopped posting because my lawyer told me to shut it all down, I told my therapist about it and she said It was not the smartest move to take advice from stranger who only get a fraction of the story and even though it was a nice way to vent, it was not good to follow shitty advice

• Yes I was definitely a lot to handle and making demands were not the correct way to go. I can see it now, sad.. a very sad time for me. I have no excuse

• Yes I had feelings of abandonment

• Yes I have gotten help, a lot of help

• Yes I was angry, mostly angry with myself.

• Yes I was an idiot and got exactly what I deserved

• His family is not wealthy, they are maybe above middle class american, he did, does? very well in his work. He also has a younger sister whom I did not mention, she was nice to me at first then she just stopped interacting with me, I think she did not like me, this was way before the break up.

• I was immature and learned that ultimatums are not good unless you can live with the results of them.

• I was selfish and entitled, boy was I entitled

• Mom was very protective of me and my sister, I was kind of like the golden child so I felt I deserved things that were not my right.

• I was focusing on the wrong things

• My job was in retail, still is.

• Yeah she was always happy to see him

• No she was never rude to me , no she did not insult me

• No my Ex did not pay her things, not that I was aware, she was ok financially but I think that's because the father of her kids

• Pretty sure my ex was not the father of her kids, they are very similar to their father.

• I am not sure about the sneaking around when they were teens, she would sleep at his house, maybe in the same bed? His parents didn't care or didn't know, yes one time he was gone for about a week for something school related and she stayed at his parents house in his room while he was away,

• Yes when they were in collage she would stay in his dorm? apartment? cant remember

• He works in IT or worked in IT? made? makes? very good money. He was an expert in ZAP or SAP or TAP  (I remember he spoke about it all the time)

• I have to admit I was stalking him, I crossed the line and did not respect his limits, I was not thinking straight I noticed some of the messages were egging me on, and telling me I should confront him, find his new place, send him messages ..not to beg....that I would wear him down...that he would come crawling back ...not very bright on my part. Only a couple of people called me out and told me I was wrong and acting crazy, some offered help, some contacted me directly telling me to reach out to a professional, some let me vent, thank you from the bottom of my heart, The rest was just feeding my anger, my ego, my entitlement, I recently read all the crap I wrote, I can't believe some people would think it was ok or justified to act the way I did, it is not completely understandable to demand an answer or an apology from someone who has made clear that does not want to be contacted, Only one redditor posted that they were only getting one side of the story and that the community should stop enabling me, thank you.

Some things I did not mention, like the car was his, I was the one using it, he paid our rent and all the services at our apartment, when he left he removed himself from the lease and paid for the last 3 months I was on my own after that and could not afford it , that was the reason why I moved with my sister.

Yeah he left all the furniture and electronics when he moved, he only took his things even though he had purchased all the rest. I sold some, took some and gave a little bit away.

Jenny from the friend group, used to say Sandy wasn’t “one of them,” and at the time I didn’t question that the way I should have. I think that was the same reason my ex's older sister did not like her, she was always a little snobbish, she said Sandy was like a stray that her brother had adopted. When I asked her to elaborate  she said it was because her family was trailer trash (sandys), she was always at their house, that my ex would feed her, teach her manners, help her at school and then send her on her way back to the hood and for that reason sandy followed him around..hence a stray. My ex and his family grew up in a very nice neighborhood, sandy family was on the other side of the road.. if you get the meaning.

How did they meet? I think it was some kind of summer camp when they were 8- 9 years old? elementary school?

How did we meet? He was with some friends, I was with my sister at a bar and they bought us a round of drinks and invited us over to join them

He was very extrovert and friendly , very confident, I am kind of introvert and not so friendly

He was  handsome, was tall, wore thick rim glasses and that gave him a nerd look, he did not like to wear contacts, he was in shape and had a nice smile yeah in those days I would think that Sandy was way out of my ex fiancee league

Regarding Sandy ex, he was wealthy, older than us, a couple of times he took us on holidays all inclusive on his dime. I don't know the reason why he divorced, but at my ex wedding I saw him in the pictures.

He did not seem to care about my ex and Sandy relationship. He was really sophisticated guy and seemed like a good father to his kids

After Jenny's divorced all the friend group cut her off. I am still in touch with her every once in a while but would not consider her a friend

Yes, my ex paid for the holidays and the trips. We went to Germany once for some work training, I did not like it very much as I was alone for the whole time.

Yes I was judgmental and I think the social status clouded me

No I am not still stalking him, every once in a while curiosity gets the best of me and I snoop on his wife's social media or on one of his friends

My therapist mentioned one thing that the judge said, that has stayed with me. How would I feel or how would my family feel if my ex did everything I did? It would be scary..very scary and I would probably be traumatized.

I wanted to post this long update because it is very important to get the message  across, actions have consequences I faced and still am facing mine. We are only getting one side of the story, I must confess when me and my sister did all those things we felt right and justified, for some reason I believed I could change the outcome of something I had created, if it was a man doing these things to me, my sister or my daughter, I would be terrified. I have been to support groups, therapy session, victims advocacy, did a lot of community service, I heard horrifying stories, with horrifying results, justice was kind to me, I do not know what my ex told the prosecutor or if he spoke with the judge or sent a letter, but I was lucky, people have gotten more for less, my ex could have been cruel, he could have requested the judge for the maximum penalty, a felony charge that would most certainly have landed me in prison, he could of taken his car back, he could have not paid for the therapy, he did not, he just wanted to be left alone, The judge made it very clear that she was not happy with the end result, my lawyer told me so.

Help your friends, help your community if someone close to you is having trouble with obsessive behavior, anger issues, harassment, depression, trouble thoughts, get them help, listen to them, if you are in a dark place, it's ok to ask for help, there is no shame in it. Once in a relationship it is on you and on your partner how much you have to reveal about your past, honesty is good, but not a deal breaker, we all carry luggage and we all have a past that we cannot change.

No means No

This will definitely be my last update, I am done with this saga. It's been 10 years and that's enough, also I finally learned what TLDR stands for so

TLDR: Girl finds old reddit post, updates, gets what she wants, gets consequences, gets help, learns, and gets better.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Informal_Parsley_775

Baguettes are disappearing from my apartment without a trace, and I have no idea how or why.

Originally posted to r/mystery

Thanks to u/EmotionalAnybody7186 u/Choice_Evidence1983 & u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU

TRIGGER WARNING: >!Breaking and entering!<

Original Post  June 19, 2026

First time redditor here, I have never been one to post things on the internet, but I am genuinely SO confused and need to figure this out for the sake of my own sanity.

For a little background, I, 26-year-old female, have recently gotten into sourdough bread making, and after some of my coworkers bought baguettes from me, my hobby became a successful side hustle. I get around 20-35 orders a day. Around two weeks ago, I baked Exactly 50 baguettes, which I know because each baguette form/tray makes ten baguettes, and I baked five forms, SO 50. when all of the baguettes were done, I went to bed and left them to cool on my counter. When I woke up, I immediately went to package the cooled baguettes, and I came up two baguettes short, so I recounted, only 48 baguettes. Because I always bake a few extra baguettes for myself and to give to my friends, this was not a problem, but I still was confused as to what happened few days later, the same thing happened again, except I came up four baguettes short. The very next day, I took EXTRA care to count out the baguettes, exactly 30. After they baked, I lined them up I three equal rows of ten, SO 30.I went to bed, and the nest morning, each row only had 9, so 27 baguettes. This confirmed that the baguettes were in fact going missing.

Honestly have no clue how they could be disappearing, I don't have any pets that could eat the bread, no roommates or a partner to steal it, and no one other than myself has a key to my apartment. I highly doubt that anyone would be able to break in through my front door without me noticing, and while I do have a balcony, I am on the fourth floor, so i doubt that anyone would scale the building. I do have neighbors that I suppose could access my balcony from theirs, but each balcony has about an 8-foot gap. The door to my balcony does not lock, so if someone could get to my balcony, they would easily access the bread. The fact that anyone would ever break into a house to steal bread is so weird and unbelievable. I am not a sleepwalker to my knowledge, I am not schizophrenic, and I am not on any medications nor do I need to be. All of the reasonable answers to this mystery are so unlikely and frankly silly. I ordered a small hidden game camera to see if the baguettes are truly being stolen, which should arrive tomorrow. I am pretty sure I am of sound mind, so if this happens again, I will really start to get scared. At this point, I really just need the reddit community to help me solve this. I would greatly appreciate any of your theories and will hopefully update in a few days about the situation.

TL; DR baguettes have been going missing from my apartment, and I cannot figure out why or how

RELEVANT COMMENTS

whattheartgarfunkel

>Do you own a carbon monoxide detector?

OOP

>>the way I SPRINTED TO the detector!!(it was running fine but I still replaced the battery to be safe!)

~

Miserable-Ring3943

>Is anyone in your building named Jean Valjean?

whoatemarykate

>> Do you hear the people search? >> >> Searching for loaves that disappeared! >> >> It is the anger of the bakers >> >> Whose worst nightmare has appeared! >> >> When the rumbling of your gut >> >> Echoes the emptiness of shelves >> >> There is a hunt about to start >> >> To find the bread ourselves!

Miserable-Ring3943

>>> Will you steal a loaf for me?  >>> >>> Cuz I’m as hungry as can be  >>> >>> The grumbling of my tummy  >>> >>> Is a loud cacophony   >>> >>> The sandwiches made with the bread   >>> >>> Will be yummy and we will feel fed…

FIRST UPDATE: I have no idea if this is the right way to update, so please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong:)

I want to thank all of you that offered advice and theories!!! checked my carbon monoxide detector, and it was fine! I do not use weed or even alcohol, and I don't wake up full, so really don't think i am the bread thief. as for my landlord, I believe she would never do something like this, she is a very sweet middle-aged lady and has never given me a reason to believe that she would go into the apartment without my knowledge.

at this time, I am afraid that it is likely a human thief, because of how neatly the baguettes disappeared. I have taken some precautions, by barricading the front door, the balcony and my bedroom door. Honestly, I don't feel unsafe, because I highly doubt a bread thief would try to kill me lol. because of my baking schedule, I did not bake today but set out 15 cookies on a plate to see if any disappear. (they are oatmeal chocolate chip, homemade) the camera should arrive at around 4 Tomorrow. I will also be baking tomorrow, and I will be able to set up and video. I ordered a lock for my balcony, but that won't arrive until next week. I have not contacted the police yet because I don't really have much evidence, and nothing else has gone missing. Wish me luck! Ill update tomorrow morning to let you know if the cookies were taken :)

TEENY SECOND UPDATE:

I was just scrolling through the comments. and one commenter gave the link to this confessions post;

https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/s/oTpuSlOW5o

this post was submitted after my initial post and after my mention of the cookies.

I know that this is fake. because you cannot see or smell the cookies from the balcony, and i have been home all day, with no possibility of anyone entering my apartment

i honestly think that this is funny, and i am not upset, but i just wanted to clarify that the confession is illegitimate :)

THIRD UPDATE:

I woke up this morning safe thank goodness :)

when I took down the barricade for my room and went to the kitchen, I checked to see if any cookies had gone missing. All 15 were still there. The balcony and front door barricades were both intact!

this could mean a few things:

1. Rats don't like oatmeal chocolate chip cookies

2. The barricades stopped an intruder

3. The thief knows my baking schedule, every other day breaks in, and because I'm baking today, will smell the bread and try to steal bread again

I fear the third option is most likely. For now, I will have to wait until the camera arrives. Ill update soon!

RELEVANT COMMENTS

TightpantsPDX

>Do you have an attic? Could someone be frogging in your place?

OOP

>>there is an attic but not directly above me, I have four apartments over me, so eight floors in total with an attic for maintenance. I have no access to it, and security is pretty tight so I doubt anyone could frog here

One-Place-3438

>>>This makes me think you need to check air vents and stuff. I started out feeling like your story was an elaborate math word problem—now it’s a full scale heist with Mission Impossible tech. 😂 And I am invested in finding out where did the baguettes go?

FOURTH UPDATE:

the cameras have arrived!!!!

there are actually four motion activated game cameras that my father recommended for the quality and easy use! (he is a hunter)

I set one at my entryway, one at my counter, one at the balcony, and one on the balcony.

I am currently baking baguettes, so if the thief's signal to break in is the scent of bread baking, I suspect I will have a guest tonight. I briefly considered the idea of staying in a hotel tonight to be safe, but i have a Glock to defend myself if needed. Yet again, I don't think a bread thief is going to try to kill me lol. I will still barricade tonight though. I think that the cameras will be able to reveal what's been going on :) my hope is that somehow, I am the problem, but I fear that someone may be breaking in!

FIFTH UPDATE:

a few commenters suggested checking for secret panels or other places someone could break in. I thoroughly checked the apartment and didn't find anything suspicious, so my intruder most likely came in through the balcony.

SIXTH UPDATE:

no sign of the thief yet!

the baguettes are in position; I am barricaded safely :)

HUGE SEVENTH UPDATE:

THE THIEF HAS BEEN REVEALED!!!!

at around 1 am in the morning, the cameras picked up some movement, and when I looked at the live footage on the counter, THERE WAS A MAN. (worst case scenario)

so, I called the police and stayed in my room. While they were on the way, I was watched the man steal two baguettes (I wasn't crazy), and then it clocked to me how he got in. THE HUGE VENT ON MY CEILING!!

(For context the vent is almost directly above the refrigerator) he has been climbing out of the vent, onto the refrigerator, then the counter, and lastly the floor. This was confirmed by watching him disappear. The police arrived maybe 2 minutes later, and when I explained what was going on, they went into the vent after him. He was arrested for breaking in, and I was asked to go down to give a statement. This took a really long time, so sorry I could not update sooner! as to who this man is, he IS one of my neighbors!

because this is now a legal thing, I don't think I should say much, but what I will say is that I never would have expected this from him! I didn't know him well at all, but he seemed nice enough. The thing is that I still can't figure out his motivation? Like I know that baguettes are good, but how do you figure out the vents, and go onto break in and steal baguettes?

obviously, I notified my landlady, and she was very understanding that I will be leaving. The officers said that I will be able to go and get my things later today. Since I don't have anything else to do today, I am going to see my psychiatrist and then stay at my friend's house until I can find a new apartment.

thank you so much for your support, ideas, and funny comments! I am giving you all metaphorical baguettes! :)

WAIT NO ILL JUST GIVE YOU THE(scaled down) BAGUETTE RECIPE (makes about 4)

WARNING: vague instructions, I am really bad at explaining things :), also may cause thieves to break in and steal baguettes

ingredients:

1 .370 grams unbleached bread flour

2.  200 grams warm water

3. 100 grams active sourdough starter (you can order one online )

4.  10 grams salt

instructions:

1. mix all ingredients and knead dough. Cover and let rest in a bowl for 1 hour.

2. perfom stretch and pulls, let rest for another hour.

3. repeat second step two more times, then let rest for 4-5 hours

4. shape into baguettes, and cold proof in fridge overnight.

5. preheat oven to 420 degrees Fahrenheit, place baguettes in oven. on the lower oven rack place a cookie tray with ice cubes to create steam.

6. bake for 1 hour, let cool completely

7. get baguettes stolen

Update 8 posted June 21, 2026 (2 days later)

UPDATE EIGHT:

I am doing well today! It hit me that this all happened when i went to my psychiatrists yesterday.

she helped me process this as much as possible!

also, apparently the thief is not able to pay his bail, so he will stay in jail until the court hearing, which makes me feel a lot safer :)

I'll try to update as soon as we get a verdict!

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Me and my twin sister where at the time 16 years old. My sister is a straight woman. I being the odd one out in my family am a gay(pan) trans man. (FTM) Our names rhymed before I came out as trans now they don’t.
Me and my sister didn’t really get along much as she was very outgoing and very social. I was her polar opposite as I preferred to sit in silence and my friends where few and far between. I didn’t really mind though, her friends where, well they where assholes. My sister Gabby liked to date online a lot despite our young age, I really didn’t agree with it but who was I to judge? She had meet this boy named Micheal on Snapchat and she seemed really interested in him as she had stopped talking to all the other boys on her apps. She never , and I mean never shut up about the guy when she wasn’t on call with him. It was honestly kind of annoying but It was nice to see how happy She was with this guy. A couple of weeks after summer had ended she had been bugging me into meeting the guy while she was on call with him. After a bit of convincing I agreed form what Gabby had been telling me he seemed to be an alright dude. So that night Gabby called and they started talking, I immediately got the creeps as he was making sexual comments like crazy and even asked if he could send a “special “ picture to my sister. Even with all the red flags I tried to not judge him. For all I knew he and my sister had sat down and talked about this sort of thing. I wasn’t there to judge until he asked me to rate how hot he was I laughed and told him that it was kinda fruity to ask a man to rate his hotness. My sister laughed too until Micheal started saying things like “ You aren’t one of those fags are you?” And “ you look like a woman to me perfectly bangable “
It was slur after slur and the comments reached there limit so I told him he could go fuck himself with a long stick. He laughed and told me he hoped I killed myself. I went to leave after that my sister only going on mute for a moment to make me promise not to tell our dad. After a shower and a pretty nasty panic attack. My sister came to me and asked me what I thought of him. I told her the truth , that be was a pervert and a asshole who only cared about getting laid and that I didn’t want him near my family, that I didn’t want him near her. She only got mad at me saying I wouldn’t understand because I was gay and that I should really take his advice.

Am I the asshole for telling my sister that I didn’t want her boyfriend near our family?

Also Sorry if I used the wrong flair. I didn't know what else to tag it as.

I (27F) feel like I am losing my mind. My best friend just called me delusional and threatened to distance herself from me if I go through with this, so I need an outside perspective.
For my own personal sanity, all names have been changed.
For the past year, I’ve worked closely with David (38M). He is the assistant manager at the retail pharmacy where I work as a pharmacy technician. He is married to Sarah and they have two toddlers. His locker is covered in drawings from his kids, and he talks about his family constantly. On paper, he is the ultimate family man.
But over the last six months, I feel like our relationship has changed. It started in November when my dog passed away. He noticed I was crying in the breakroom, went down the street, and brought me a vanilla latte and a muffin. He sat with me for ten minutes and just listened to me vent. No one else at work even noticed I was upset, but *he* did.
Since then, we’ve developed a routine. Whenever we pass each other by the stockroom, he gives me this specific, warm smile. A few weeks ago, during a hectic Monday rush, I made a joke to a difficult customer that fell flat, but I looked across the pharmacy counter and David was smiling and shaking his head. It felt like an inside joke just between us.
Then there was the team dinner last month at a packed, deafening restaurant. Because it was crowded, David sat directly across from me. At one point, the room got incredibly loud. David leaned all the way across the table to hear what I was saying. While I was talking, he looked directly at my lips, smiled, and nodded along. A few of our coworkers at the end of the table actually stopped talking and just stared at us because it looked so intense. It felt like the rest of the room completely melted away.
The biggest thing happened last Friday. We were staying late to finish checking in an inventory shipment. The store was closed. He walked over to check my progress, and as he leaned over my shoulder to look at the terminal, his sleeve brushed against my arm. He didn't pull away immediately; he stayed there for at least three seconds. Before he clocked out, he looked at me and said, "Don't stay too late, Shelby. We need you around here."
I felt a physical spark. I am convinced that he is trapped in a passionless marriage, and his kindness is his subconscious way of crying out for a connection. He always remembers exactly how I take my coffee. Men don't pay that much attention to a woman unless they are deeply attracted to her.
My plan is to ask him to grab drinks after our shift this Thursday and gently lay my cards on the table. I want to tell him that I know he feels the connection too, and that I'm willing to wait for him.
My best friend snapped at me saying, “Shelby, he is a nice guy. He brought you coffee *once.* You are being delusional and you’re about to ruin your job based on a sleeve brushing against your arm!”
Am I misreading this or AITA if I say how I feel?

Maybe he'd be interested?? Some good old fashioned YouTube drama for Sarby to react to.

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/ThrowRAsisterseye

Originally posted to r/relationship_advice

Previous BoRU

[New Update] - My, 28f, fiancee 29m, wants me to put his family before mine, even at the expense of my families health.

Editor’s Note: Changed initials to names based on OOP’s latest updates for readability. And also removed some relevant comments as they have been covered in the newer updates

NEW UPDATES MARKED WITH ----

Trigger Warnings: >!medical surgery, controlling behavior, attempted extortion, verbal abuse, possible stalking mentions physical abuse of a child, misogyny, emotional abuse and manipulation, assault, severe head trauma!<

RECAP

Original Post - October 25, 2023

Throwaway as my work friends are on my main and they dont know this is going on. Also, obligatory that this is on mobile so spelling and grammar will be poo. This is a long one, but I'll try and keep it as short as possible.

I, 28f got engaged to my partner of 7 years Rob, 29m in May. Both sides of our family were really happy about this and we had a big family meal 2 weeks after getting engaged. His brother lives 250 miles away and couldn't get here for that meal so we decided to have a meal just for his family in late June when his brother would be back for the weekend, this weekend was arranged long before we got engaged so he wasn't back just for the meal.

Earlier this year my sister Kim 32f, got a serious eye infection that very quickly turned into an Ulcer, which scarred her cornea and left it at a high risk of a perforation. She needed a corneal graft, but her surgeon was away for 4 weeks so she was going to have to wait until he got back to have it. However, her eye didn't hold and it perforated the day I was supposed to be going to the family meal with Rs brother.

Kim's wife was at work and had her phone turned off and our mum was away with our step dad, so when Kim called me to let me know what was happening I knew she would be at the hospital on her own. I immediately talked to my boss and he let me go early so Kim wasn't on her own.

I text Rob to let him know what was going on and he text me back to send Kim his love and to remind me about the meal that night. I ignored the comment about the meal as it was the last thing on my mind.

Once I got to the hospitaI, I was taken back into a room where Kim was, to be greeted by 3 doctors and 2 nurses rushing around trying to help Kim. I was then informed that she needed to have an emergency operation to have her eye glued or else she would lose it. The problem was that they didn't have a surgeon at that hospital that could do it and she needed to go to another hospital and hour and a half away. They asked if she would need transportation or if I could take her, I said I would take her.

Once we got to the other hospital we were told that she would be having the operation at 5:30pm. I knew then that I wouldn't make the dinner and text Rob to let him know. He flipped out and basically told me to leave Kim at the hospital and have her wife pick her up after the op was done, at this point I still hadn't be able to get ahold of Kim's wife. I told him that wasn't going to happen and that he was out of order to even ask me to do that. I then text his mum and told her what was going on. She was really supportive and told me to stay with Kim and let her know how the op goes. A dinner can be rescheduled, Kim's health can't. I also spoke with his brother who was equally as understanding.

I stayed with Kim, her operation was a sucess and I got her back home about 9pm. Her wife had ordered some Chinese and offered me some, which I happily accepted as I hadn't eaten since lunch. With that I didn't get home till about 11pm ans Rob was already asleep.

Rob was very short with me for days after and we eneded up having a huge fight where he told me that I should have put his brother and family before Kim. He said he was embarrassed going to the meal without me. I responded that I was embarrassed he though I would put a meal before my sisters health.

This led to another week of awkwardness between us before we finally sat down and we sorted it out, or so I thought.

8 weeks ago Kim got her graft and so far everything is going really well with it. On Saturday his brother was here so we went out for dinner with his family. His family were all asking about how Kim was doing and I showed them a picture of the stitches in her eye.

I thought that everything had gone really well untill we got home and he got really angry saying that I shouldn't have brought up Kim's health issues and I shouldn't have shown them the picture. I argued that they'd asked about her and asked to see the picture. It ended with him telling me that I needed to put him and his family before Kim or else we weren't going to work. His family will come before mine once we are married so I should get used to it. I went upstairs and packed a bag. I'm now at my mums house and he's been bombarding me with text and calls since I left.

I do love him, but I will never put his family above my own families health. I feel like he's expecting me to spend every holiday with his family and put their wants above my familes needs, which won't happen. I'm very close to my sister and my mum, that's not going to change. So I don't really know how to move forward or if I even want to

Has anyone experience anything like this before? If so, how did you deal with it?

TLDR; My fiancee got mad that I missed a dinner with his family because my sister needed emergency surgery and I was the only one available to take her. He is now insisting that I put his family before my own. I dont know how to move forward with him.

Edit; For some reason it won't let me do a full Update post even on my own page so I'm just going to add it to here.

Thank you so much for everyone that commented, I replied to as many as I could but I read all of them. Warning, this is going to be longer than the original post, alot has happened.

Tldr; For thoes that just want a quick update, I left him and he's out of my house. His mum is seriously pissed at him and his brother has gone no contact with him for the foreseeable future.

For thoes that want a longer version. Once I'd decided to end things with him, I knew that the main issue would be getting him out of my house. I own the house outright, my grandma died 5 years ago and left her house to my mum, who sold it and split the money between me and my sister. I then bought my house with that money about a year after she died.

I got intouch with my stepdads friend, who is a landlord the day after I wrote my original post, who then put me intouch with his solicitor. He didn't have time to see me in person that day, but we did have a phone call where he gave me my options. In the UK we have something called a section 8 notice. This is a 14 day eviction notice and the solicitor said this would be the quickest way to get him out, however he could try and contest it if he wanted too which would lead to court dates and could take months. I asked him to draw up the notice and date it for Friday, the next day. I'd already made the decision to end things with him after work on Friday, so that he could have the weekend to sort through his emotions before work on Monday.

On Friday morning I text Rob and asked him to meet with me at our local pub after work. He quickly agreed. Not only is the pub a public space, but my stepdad and a few of his work friends go in there every Friday after work for a few pints so I knew he would be there to step in if I needed him. Thank you for suggesting this redditors. I also picked up the eviction notice on my lunch break so I was ready to give it to him. Cost £250 but was worth it.

When I got to the pub, Rob was already there and my stepdad was stood at the bar with his work mates. I sat down with Rob and got straight to the point. I told him that it was over, I couldn't be with someone who didn't give me any support when I was going through one of the scariest moments of my life and expected me to drop my family for his. It didn't matter what excuses he could come up with, I wasn't interested, I'd made up my mind and we were done.

He stared at me in shock for what felt like and hour, but was probably only a minute or so. He then started saying I couldn't be serious, we'd been together for 7 years and I was throwing it all away, I could never find another guy like him. I responded to the last comment with, I dont want a guy like you that's why I'm ending it. I need someone who's will support me when times get tough, not get annoyed that the world isn't bowing down to what he wants.

I then handed him an envelope with the eviction notice in and my engagement ring. I told him I was giving him a few weeks to find a place and be out of my house. Then I stood up and walked over to my stepdad, who had bought me a much needed drink and stayed with him until my ex left still looking in shock. I knew he wouldn't approach me whilst I was with my stepdad as he has always been a little scared of him. This is obviously a very condensed version of what happened.

Once I got back to my mum's house, I had a 1 single text from him saying he wasn't moving out and was going to contest the eviction until I'd come to my senses and got back with him. WE ARE NOT OVER, was how he ended the text. I just turned my phone off and decided to deal with the legal side of things on Monday, there was nothing else I could do.

Saturday morning I woke up and turned my phone back on and had another text from him saying that he would move out if I paid him £10,000 as that's what he'd paid towards bills whilst he had lived at the house. He paid for half the electric, gas, WiFi and Sky package. Note, the sky package is only as expensive as it is because he has to have every sports channel known to man, so his half literally just paid for the sports channel's. I'd already asked the solicitor about this though and he'd assured me that I didn't owe him any money as he hadn't contributed to a mortgage or any renovations of the house, it was just general expenses. He also knew that I dont have £10,000 just lying around.

Lets say I was irritated by this and decided to ring his mum to see if she could talk some sense into him. I'll call his mum Sandra to make it easier. She was appalled by what I told her and said she would speak to him. She called me back about an hour later and asked me to meet her at the house. Rob was on an away day to watch his football team play and wouldn't be back till about 10pm so I knew he wasn't there. I met her at the house with Kim, and Sandra said that Rob's brother was on his way back home and they would have Rob out by the following afternoon. She hadn't even spoken to Rob, just his brother, but she promised he would be out. Sandra then asked me to walked her through the house showing her exactly what was his and what wasnt so he didn't take anything that didnt belong to him.

The next morning I got a text from Rob calling me all the names under the sun for getting his mum and brother involved. I blocked him and a couple of hours later Sandra text me to let me know he was out and staying with her. I thanked her and she told me that she would like to stay in contact and I happily agreed to this.

I went back to my house after work on Monday, changed the alarm code and my stepdad changed all the locks for me. My stepdad is also arranging for a friend of his to install cameras around the outside of the house, this will be done over the weekend.

Sandra rang me on Tuesday asking if we could meet up as she had some things she wanted me to know. So we met for lunch that day. It was at this time that she told me her ex was a controlling ahole who was incredibly selfish and the selfishness was what she had seen in Rob for so long. Thats why she had commented on him being like his father, but she had hoped that was the extent of Rob's attitude and he hadnt picked up his dad's controlling behaviour, which to be fair, he hadnt up until this whole episode.

She had left Rob's dad after he had punched Rob's brother in the face when he was 14 and Rob was 10. He had never layed a hand on her or their sons before, but one time was enough and she left with the boys. To her knowledge her ex had never reached out to speak to Rob or his brother and they hadn't spoken to their father in years. I didn't know any of this, all I had been told was that their dad wasnt in the picture and hadn't been for a long time, but Sandra had thought I knew and that's why she hadn't told me before.

However she had found out on Sunday night that Rob was back in contact with his father and had been for the past year. His dad had been putting lots of thoughts into Rob's head about how he is the man of the house and his family is all that matters. This had fed into Rob's selfish tendencies and had amplified them ten fold.

Sandra said that she had told him to find somewhere else to stay asap as she couldn't even look him in the face. Then Rob and his brother had a huge argument that ended with his brother telling him that as long as Rob is intouch with their dad, then he will have zero contact with him. Even going so far as to tell him to spend Christmas with their dad because Sandra is going to his house and Rob isn't welcome. When Sandra took Rob's brothers side in all this, Rob flew into a rage and said he would move in with his dad. He then left the house, but came back a couple of hours later looking like hed been crying. Turns out, that his dad doesnt want him living with him and basically said he could be on the streets for all he cares, he's not putting a roof over a grown man's head.

Sandra thinks that Rob is now starting to realise everything he has lost due to him listening to his dad and has seen his dad's true colours. Sandra is incredibly disappointed in him, but he's her son so she is trying to be there for him as best as she can, however she still wants him out as she doesn't trust him anymore. His brother still won't have anything to do with him. She has also told him to stay the hell away from me as I don't need to be brought into this and he has promised her that he will. Only time will tell if that's true, but I do have him blocked on everything and if he turns upto the house I will just call the police to get rid of him. The more Sandra told me about what had been going ok behind my back, the more resolute I have become about wanting nothing to do with him. I never want to see him again, if I can help it.

So all in all Rob's life is a shit show, but as long as he stays away from me then I don't care. I've been spending alot of time with my sister and her wife as well and my mum and stepdad which has been great. I've never really been close to my stepdad, but this has brought us alot closer together which has been one huge positive out of all this. I'm not exactly happy right now, but I'll get there. There's still alot of feelings that I need to unpackand it will take time to move on from this whole situation. I dont think I will be dating for a while, I need to really get over all this and don't want to dump this on anyone else right now.

For all thoes asking how Kim is doing, she's doing great. Had a hospital appointment on Monday and her consultant said her eye is healing, in his words, marvelously, so that's a relief. Thank you to everyone that reached out to me. I hope there won't be any need to update this again, so this should be my final update. &nbsp;

For telling my ex that it's not my fault that he's homeless. - November 26, 2023

So I 28f posted on relationship advice before about my now ex 29m. The post and update is in my profile, but basically my ex fiance wanted me to put his family before mine even at the cost of my sisters health. I ended up breaking up with him over it and he was forced to move in with his mum, who then found out that he had been intouch with his abusive dad who was twisting his view on how a relationship should work.

Last I heard was that his mum was kicking him out as she would not have anyone in her house that was in contact with her ex and that he had tried to go live with his dad, but his dad had refused. I was completely NC with him, so his mum was the one that had told me this.

I'll call my ex Rob and exs mum Sandra to make things easier.

I hadn't heard from Rob in weeks, but yesterday he showed up at my house. I had the chain on my door so opened it with that still attached, no way would I let him in. He basically told me that he had no where to live. His mum isn't speaking to him and his dad won't put a roof over a grown man's head, his words not mine. He asked if I would take him back or at least let him live with me.

No way in hell would I get back with him and getting him out the first time only went easy because his mum stepped in to help. He had threatened to take me to court knowing that if he did it could take months to get him out and then said he would only move if I gave him £10,000. I contacted his mum, who was furious about that and she turned up with his brother and forced him out.

I told him that there was zero possibility of him ever living with me again and that we were 100% over. He started shouting at me and calling me all sorts of names, so I threatened to call the police if he didn't leave and shut the door. I have cameras all over my house so I caught everything he did and said on camera and have saved it to a USB just incase.

He then went crying to all our mutual friends and it managed to get back to his mum. She called me and asked what happened, I told her and she then informed me that she had put her house up for sale and was moving 300 miles away to be nearer her other son. Her and Rob had a huge argument about this and she finally kicked him out. Since then he's been couch surfing, but with Christmas coming up, his friends aren't really happy with having him on their couches when they have kids and are meant to be enjoying the festive season. He's been kicked out of 3 friends houses in 10 days.

She told me I was right to refuse him, but I've since had other friends say that they feel sorry for them, and that I can just let him stay in my spare room until he's back on his feet. I then asked them to put him up, but they said they would but don't have room and if they had a spare room like me then they would let him stay. My family and his are on my side, but I'm starting to doubt myself with what a couple of my friends have said.

So Reddit, AITA?

EDIT; Just a quick edit as I'm going to bed. I've just spoken with the wife of one of Rob's friends and she's asked to meet me on my lunch break tomorrow. Apparently, Rob stayed with them for 2 nights before she kicked him out and there's more going on than what I know of. She's going to tell me the full story tomorrow, but told me that I shouldn't let him anywhere near me and that he's staying in a b&b so he does at least have a roof over his head right now. I'll try and update after I've spoken to her.

&nbsp;

Chemical-Scarcity964: NTA. You are lucky you got out when you did. File for a restraining order (not sure if it's called the same in the UK) as soon as possible.

>OP: Restraining orders here are ridiculously hard to get. There usually has to be violence involved for one to be issued. I am going to make sure I log everything from now on though. &nbsp;

Update - November 27, 2023

So I posted yesterday about my ex turning up at my house wanting for me to let him move back in with me. I said no, but a couple of friends thought I should let him and that messed with my head. Rob is my ex.

A few people told me to change my lock etc. I did that and changed my alarm code as well as my step dad got his friend to put up 4 cameras around my house. I'm also going to start shutting the gate so that no one can walk upto the house without ringing the bell there first.

I put in an Edit that I was going to me meeting with one of Rob’s friends wives, for lunch today and I have to say that it was informative for sure.

I'll call her Nat, 30f and her husband Zack, 29m.

So I went to meet her on my lunch break at a cafe near my work. It's a place that alot of my coworkers go to and I know the staff there as well. A few redditors thought that she might bring Rob with her so I wanted it to be somewhere I feel comfortable and have back up if needed.

Turns out that I didn't need to bother about that. When I got to the Cafe Nat was there on her own. I grabbed some lunch and a drink and sat with her. We went throught the usual small talk before she started telling me what had been going on.

Rob rang Zack on Thursday morning saying he had no where to go and could he stay with them for a few days. Zack spoke to Nat and they agree he could stay in their guest room. Rob went to their house after work and they had a long talk where Rob told them he has a flat lined up, but can't move in till January. Zack and Nat agreed to let him live with them untill January as long as he followed some basic rules and paid for his own food. The rules were things like, no bringing women back there and if he went out drinking he had to be quiet when he got back so he didn't wake their daughter who's 6. He agreed to all this and paid for a Chinese for them all that night.

The next day after work Rob went to meet his dad in the pub for a few pints. When Zack and Nat went to bed Rob still wasn't home. They were woken up at about 2 in the morning by Rob arguing with a woman. Apparently, Rob had met this woman in a bar, took her back to Zack and Nat house, got his pleasure and then told her to get dressed and fuck off once he was done. She had gotten angry, which started an argument where Rob was saying some horrific shit to her. Nat took the woman down stairs and got her a taxi, whilst Zack stayed upstairs arguing with Rob.

Once Nat had got rid of the woman she went back upstairs and tried to calm Zack and Rob down. At this point Rob decided to take out his frustrations on Nat, calling her a bitch and telling her to do something useful and make him a sandwich before bursting out laughing like he'd made he funniest joke ever. This made Zack lost it and pinned Rob to the wall by his throat. Side note, Rob isn't a fighter at all where as Zack was a amateur boxer in his youth and can handle himself well.

Nat managed to get Zack to let him go and Rob was shoved in the guest room and told to sleep off he alcohol. Its a miracle that Nat’s daughter didn't wake up during this.

The next morning Nat got their daughter ready and went to her mums after telling Zack to get Rob out of their house. Zack agreed and after Nat left he woke Rob up and told him to pack his shit and leave. Rob tried to apologise and begged to stay but Zack was having none of it and kicked him out. Going off the timing, I think he left there and came straight to my house.

On Sunday Zack text Rob to meet up so that they could speak and they met up in a pub. Zack has been friends with Rob since they were 11 and has never seen him act like he has been doing so he wanted to find out what was really going on.

He managed to finally get the truth out of Rob. Basically, Rob has been in contact with his dad for a lot longer than he told us, by this point its over 2 years. His dad is a raging misogynist that believes a woman's place is in the kitchen and bedroom. A man's place is to rule the house and be waited on hand a foot as well as deciding who can ans can't be in their lives. He's been dripping this poison into Rs ear and it's really taken a hold of him. Zack told Nat that he just doesn't recognise Rob anymore.

Rob wants to start living his life the way his father has told him he should. When Zack pointed out that Rob’s dad is 62, living in a shitty one bedroom flat, not had a real relationship since Rs mum left him, has no friends, his family doesn't speak to him and that he's the type of guy that when he walks into a pub people finish their pints so they can leave and get away from him, Rob was furious. He told Zack that his dad is just misunderstood. Zack responded that people understood his dad and that's why they stayed away from him, he's Toxic.

This pretty much ended their conversation and Rob left. Zack did find out that Rob does have a flat lined up for January, so that was true and that he's found a b&b he can stay in till the flat is ready at a minimal cost. Zack and Nat have also decided to go NC with Rob as they don't need that toxicity around them, but especially not around their daughter.

A few redditors had said it sounded like Rob was on drugs, so I asked Nat what she thought and she doesn't think so but can't be sure. She and Zack think that Rob is just so far under his dad's thumb now that he's completely changed as a person. He believes that everything his dad says is gospel.

She did let me know that Rob has a burner IG account that he is using to check on my IG and I immediately made my account private. He had said something about seeing me waist money on a stupid amount of Christmas presents when I couldn't even help him out to Zack on Sunday. I'd been to a Christmas Market on Saturday afternoon and had posted pics on IG.

All of this just made my resolve stronger that he will not be getting anywhere near my house again. It also made me realise that I dont have any feeling for him any more other than frustration at how he's acting and some sadness at how far he's fallen from the man I once knew. I thought that hearing he had another woman in his bed would annoy me, but there was just nothing, I couldn't have cared less.

I thanked Nat for the info and we agreed to keep intouch. We won't be as close as we were when I was with Rob but it feels good to have someone who knows the entire situation and has seen Rob’s behaviour with his own eyes.

There were also some redditors that told me to ditch the friends that had told me to let him stay with me. Unfortunately, I can't ditch them completely as they're part of the friend group and that would just cause unnecessary drama, but I will be keeping my distance from them and only talking to them when part of the group.

I'm currently at my sisters and we are going to watch a Christmas film to get us in the mood to decorate all our house's this weekend, so I will be on and off for the next few hours if anyone has any questions. Thanks for the votes and giving me some perspective. Reddit isn't all bad. &nbsp;

RELEVANT COMMENTS

PuddleLilacAgain: The misogyny and abuse probably runs in Rob's family. I wonder if on some level, the son adopts the ways of the father so he will be accepted and loved. Rob's father is probably not capable of love, so if the son acts horribly and is given praise for it, he might misinterpret it as love and finally figures he's getting his father's approval.

Just a theory. Who knows what actually goes on in these sick families. Sad...

>OP: I was talking about this to my sister before, and she said that she thinks he's behaving like he is to get some sort of validation from his dad. I knew that he missed having a dad growing up as we had talked about our shared experience of that, so you are probably right in this regard. I just know that one day he will wake up and realise everything he's lost because of his and his dads actions. > >I also don't think it helps that he wasn't abused by his dad, his mum and elder brother protected him from it, so his memories of his dad from his younger years are largely positive.

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----NEW UPDATES----

For anyone that's still around - December 19, 2023

Still have people reaching out to see if I'm OK. A few hated me just using initials so R is Rob. I really hoped that I wouldn't have to update again, but I've just had a call from one of Robs friends and it looks like he's going to be spending Christmas in prison.

Apparently, he went out on Saturday night with his dad and they got into an argument which turned physical. Rob isn't a fighter however he is bigger and stronger than his dad and it ended with his dad falling backwards and hitting his head off a wall knocking him unconscious. The staff in the pub called the police and an ambulance, but Rob left before they got there. Rob's dad had to go to hospital, where he still is. I'm unsure off his exact injuries, but they're not life threatening. He must also be awake as he is pressing charges against Rob, however they won't keep him in unless absolutely essential at this time of year.

Rob was arrested on Sunday morning at the B&B he's been staying at and had to appear in Magistrates Court on Monday. Due to him not having a fixed address right now and the fact that his dad is still in hospital he has been remanded on a section 18 with intent. Unless he can find permanent address to go to then he won't be getting out untill his trial at Crown Court. I know his mum is already at his brothers over 250 miles away so I don't think she will be able to help right now.

Finding this out has actually given me a sense of peace right now. I've been trying to ignore it, but the chance of him turning up and spoling Christmas has been at the back of my mind ever since he turned up at my house. I'm hoping he stays in over Christmas so that I can just relax.

OOP on Section 18 in her area

> OOP: Section 18 is an assault charge, a section 18 with intent is the next level up and is classed as intending to and causing grievous bodily harm to someone. I've been told that if found guilty, then it's usually a multiple year prison sentence.

Another mini update - December 23, 2023

I went round to N and Z, here by known as Nat and Zack, to drop off a present for their daughter, a bottle of Bells for Zack and a bottle of Prosecco for Nat for Christmas and had a cup of tea with them whilst they filled me in on what's going on.

Rob will be in over Christmas, but will likely get out early January. His lawyer is trying to get the charges reduced from section 18 with intent to a section 20. I only found out today that a Section 18 with intent is one step down from attempted murder and you're looking at double digits in prison if you get found guilty. Section 20 is a lot less severe and is usually a 2 year suspended sentence for first-time offenders, which he is. His lawyer has said that if he pleads guilty to the section 20 then CPS will lower the charges to get this one over and done with asap as the courts are ridiculously backed up in the UK right now and prisons are full. Zack went to the B&B he was staying at and got Robs stuff which is now sat in his garage as one last favour to Rob, Zacks words.

He can't get in touch with me without my consent whilst he is locked away. The prison literally has to ring me and ask if it is ok that I get put on his approved call list and only then is he allowed to ring me, which won't be happening.

I've also spoken to his mum, who has basically washed her hand of him for the time being. She thinks that he needs to learn his lesson and maybe spending Christmas in a cell will teach him how much he's lost the plot. She has spoken to him and said that he's now saying the right things, but only time will tell if he means them. He is talking about moving to be near his brother to get away from their dad so maybe he has seen the light. His brother has refused to go onto his call list, so Rob can't contact him, so I don't know how that will work. As for his dad, he is still in hospital with a broken hip and has had to have surgery to fix it. The broken bone and head injury is why the charges are so high right now.

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, knowing he can't ruin my Christmas. I'm just about to pack everything into the car and go and stay at my mums untill January 2nd, but thought I'd finish the year off letting everyone who's helped me and supported me through this know whats going on. Merry Christmas to everyone that celebrates it and hope everyone is doing well.

OOP on her sister, Kim, due to the emergency surgery that took place

> OOP: She's doing great, not got to go back to the hospital till end of January as they're that happy with her. Still got a long road to recovery as the stitches won't be out for at least another 6 months, probably longer. She and her wife will be at mums all over Christmas as well. They're gonna be here tomorrow and staying till after New year as well. She is at the football today in hospitality as a treat from our stepdad so she was buzzing this morning. > > Hope you have a great time as well, and a great new year.

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Latest Update here: BoRU #3

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DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I am not OP. Originally posted by u/TheFlyingPigSquadron in r/JUSTNOMIL

This is a long one so I've had to split it into multiple posts. TL;DR at the end. This was requested a few months back- thanks u/Jorgenstern8 and u/Fi72 for the request/info to locate this. I've attempted to contact OP since then but no response and I can't see any account activity for a year so I'm plowing ahead...

Note: I've taken out some unrelated info and repetitive TL;DRs in order to streamline this post- everything else is OP's own.

Original post (3 Oct 2016)

So this happened earlier today over the course of about 3-4mins, some relevant background; I broke my ankle and a few toes (on opposite feet) weeks ago, my cast was removed 3 weeks ago so I’m mobile and now down to using one crutch, mostly for balance.

This has meant that my brother has been chauffeuring me around everywhere, including to and from work. He was running late today so I wobbled my way down to a supermarket to grab milk etc and told him to pick me up outside the store at the little pick up/drop off point by the entrance.

So I was sitting on the bench outside the store when a wild MIL appeared, with her DIL and grandkid. I’m not sure how old the kid was, I’m no good at judging kids ages, but based on her stream of babbling, I don’t think she could speak just yet. She was sitting in the little chair thing in the trolley and seemed to be quite happy. MIL was an older woman who was walking slowly but seemed to be fine.

DIL parked the trolley and kid beside me and told MIL to wait here; she’ll go get the car so MIL didn’t have to walk across the car park. From what I got from the conversation; MIL had been moaning about her feet and wanted to sit down. DIL was trying to get her to sit on the bench and MIL was martyring herself. I promptly put a stop to all of that by offering the MIL my dry part of the bench and moving further away to lean against the wall. MIL didn’t even look at me before sitting down like she’d just been crowned.

DIL kissed the kid, told her “mummy will be back in a moment, you be good for Granny and then we’ll go for a fun ride in the car”. Kid’s happy and excited for car ride, mum disappears.

As soon as DIL was out of earshot the MIL tuned to the kid and said “You’re such a bad little girl. See, mummy’s leaving you here. She’s gone without you. No car for you”. Cue kid bursting into tears and screaming for her mum. I’m not sure how much the kid understood of what the MIL had said, it may have been all or she could have just understood the “no car” part, either way it was a shitty thing to say to your grandchild (or any child tbh).

I looked right at her and gave her the raised eyebrow look and some serious glaring, which probably gave away the fact that I’d heard her. She completely changed her tune, loudly telling the kid that she was “only joking” and “mummy will be right back” etc.

This didn’t really have much effect on the kid and she was working herself into a right state, so the MIL decided to take her out of the trolley seat.

She plonked the screaming kid on her feet then turned back to sit on the bench. Guys, this kid could have given Usain Bolt a run for his money. The moment she had her (not particularly stable) balance she made a run for it screaming for her mummy.

Straight towards the road.

There was about 15ft between the road and me (still leaning against the wall) and about half that between the kid and the road. In the time it took for me to realise the kid was heading for the road and that MIL hadn’t seen a thing, the kid had made it pass the bollard (there are bollards outside shops in the UK, I’m not sure why but I have theories).

I have never moved so fast in my life, I managed to grab the kid and make it back to the pavement before my ankle realised that a full sprint this soon was soo not a good idea. Neither of my legs were interested in supporting me after that so I just sort of crumpled into a heap on the pavement with this kid.

The next thing I know the DIL is there taking the kid from me, it was her car that she’d run in front of.

DIL was crying, the kid was crying, I was crying (it fucking hurt) and MIL was still sitting on the bench.

Anyway, I blame it on the adrenaline/pain because normally I wouldn’t get involved but I told the DIL exactly what had happened, all of it, even what MIL had said to the kid. When I left DIL was still screaming at her MIL.

Update 1 (4 Oct 2016)

Firstly, the ankle, it’s sore, swollen and bruised but thankfully NOT re-broken. Dr says it’s badly sprained and will set my recovery back, but I don’t need to go back in the cast (yay!!).

So, because I had an appointment with my physio this morning I decided wait for that instead of heading to A&E last night. Long story short, my physio was convinced my ankle had re-broken and sent me up to x-ray (physio department is in the hospital). A nurse/porter (I’m not sure what she was) stuck me in a wheelchair to take me and we got chatting:

>Nurse: So how did you manage to hurt yourself this time around?
>
>Me: Oh, I chased after a kid that ran into traffic.
>
>Nurse: My god, how did that happen? When was this?
>
>Me: Yesterday, [gets ready to tell the story]
>
>Nurse: Wait...was this at [supermarket at address]?
>
>Me: Yeeeeaaahhhh???
>
>Nurse: OH MY GOD, THAT WAS MY NEICE!!!

The MIL is her MOTHER!!!

Apparently her SIL (so the DIL from yesterday) took off and left her MIL (the nurses Mother) at the store yesterday. She’s pretty sure her brother and her SIL are now NC as her SIL has been pushing for NC but her brother (DILs husband) is a “mummysboy” and had been reluctant.

She’s already NC with her mother after she caught her intentionally PINCHING HER NEWBORN.

She also told me that her niece is fine, but her SIL got a big fright.

So there you go, it’s a damn small world. I had a hundred questions for her but thought that might be a bit rude. I’m not sure if I’ll run into her again, it wasn’t really clear where in the hospital she worked or what she actually does but you never know.

Update 2 (11 Oct 2016)

I really didn’t expect to have an update for this again, I was pretty sure it was all over.

I was wrong.

I had another physio appointment today and ran into the kid’s aunt again, it turns out she’s training to be a physio so I’ll probably see her a lot. After my appointment she asked if she could talk to me, so we had a sit down and a chat.

Turns out Insane Granny has gone completely bananas.

She’s apparently got enough sense about her to realise that the kid’s Mum now has a damn good reason to go NC along with the kid and could now probably convince her husband (kid’s Dad) to go NC too. So, knowing she is probably about to be cut off, she made a pre-emptive strike against the kid’s Mum and Dad.

She called the Police and told them about the incident in my original post, except she completely changed the story.

According to her, the kid’s Mum was being mean and neglectful to the kid and Insane Granny called her out on it, which evolved into an argument. While they were arguing the kid ran off into the road, Insane Granny noticed and ran after her. The kid’s Mum then snatched the kid from Granny and left Granny at the store. No mention of me.

Based on how quickly things have moved, they think that Insane Granny told the police this story on the day of the incident, if not the day after. I’m not sure what the rules are around the world but here, in Scotland, the police have to investigate and they also have to inform Social Services, who then have to do an initial assessment (talking to the kid’s school, Dr, etc). Basically there are a few compulsory boxes to be ticket before deciding whether or not to carry out a more in-depth investigation and there isn’t much you can do to stop it.

So the police dropped into visit the kid’s Mum and Dad last Thursday. The kid’s Mum told her version of events but couldn’t really give much specifics as she wasn’t really there (she only really knew what I’d told her). So the Police (and presumably Social Services) now have two conflicting reports, one of which claims the involvement of a third party, me. The next day they received notice that Social Services would be in touch.

This has all lit a fire under the kid’s Dad’s ass and he confronted Insane Granny, the highlights (told to me at least) include:

• Her end game is to get custody of the kid
• She hopes the kid’s Mum will be jailed
• She admitted to lying to the Police but is confident the kid’s Mum can’t prove what actually happened because there’s no way she’d be able to find me to corroborate.

The kid’s aunt was told all this over the weekend and while everyone seems to be sure that both the Police and Social Services won’t find any problems, they’re understandably nervous. The aunt didn’t tell the kid’s Mum and Dad that she’d met me in the hospital for two reasons; she didn’t actually have my permission to do so and definitely didn’t have my permission to give out my contact details.

Basically the aunt asked if I’d be willing to give my side of the story to the Police and Social Services and could the kid’s parents contact me. I’ve agreed and the aunt is going to pass everything on to the kid’s parents. Chances are they won’t need me to do anything but you never know. I also pointed out that the security cameras for the store would’ve caught everything and that will probably be the Police’s first stop.

Sooooo the drama continues.

Update 3 (16 Oct 2016)

So things have gotten...interesting.

The kid’s Mum contacted me and we met up for coffee yesterday. She’s a really nice lady who is under a lot of stress. I told her about r/JUSTNOMIL and she said she’d have a browse, though I have no idea if she was just being polite or not. She ended up a bit of a ranting mess but I don’t blame her to be honest. She did clear up a few things though; the big one being that the Insane Granny didn’t call the Police, she called a friend of hers who works in the Social Services.

Insane Granny gave this Social Services Friend her version of events and the friend officially reported the kid’s Mum. That’s how the Police became involved; Social Services contacted them as they (most likely spearheaded by the Social Services Friend, though this is speculation on the kid’s parent’s part) believed the kid to be in immediate danger. The Police have found that the kid is in no immediate danger but they’re still investigating what happened at the store. I’m going to give them my statement at some point next week and that should hopefully be the end of it.

Social Service on the other hand is a totally different can of worms. Regardless of how they got involved they still have to do an initial assessment and will also be investigating the incident at the store. From what the kid’s Mum told me Insane Granny’s Social Service friend is either pushing everything or is actually in charge of the investigation.

So far the Social Service Friend has mostly being doing her job (though rather invasively) she’s allowed to speak to all of the kid’s parent’s neighbours, co-workers, the kid’s school and the kid’s doctor. What she isn’t allowed to do is show up at the kid’s parents house with Insane Granny to try to force a reconciliation.

Apparently Insane Granny really went for it with the manipulation and gaslighting in front of the Social Services Friend, she seems to be trying to make the kids Mum look like the insane one, between bouts of fake crying she;

• Acted concerned about the kid’s Mum’s mental state saying she must be hallucinating because she is remembering the incident ‘wrong’.
• Said that the kid should be placed in her (Insane Granny’s) care until ‘all this nonsense’ is sorted.
• Asked her son (the kid’s Dad) how the divorce proceedings are going (they are not divorcing she was trying to make it look like they are to her friend).
• Told the kid’s Mum that she was glad she was feeling well enough to clean the house and asked her if she’d managed to feed the kid today.

When the parents pulled out their trump card, the fact that Aunt is (and now they’re) in contact with me, she started fake crying and asking why Aunt and kid’s Mum are lying to everyone. That the kid’s Mum had dragged Aunt into her delusion and that she (the kid’s Mum) needs help. Then she turned to the Social Services Friend and told her that Aunt and kid’s Mum must be “paying some poor homeless girl or student to lie for her” (I totally called that btw, I knew she was going to accuse me of lying or something similar).

At this point the kid’s Mum admits she lost it at Insane Granny and was screaming at her to leave.

This was convincing enough for the Social Service Friend (and apparently the kid’s Dad) to suggest to the kid’s Dad that he might want to have the kid’s Mum sectioned (committed to a psychiatric facility).

Once the Social Service Friend and Insane Granny left, the kid’s parents argued. The gist of it being that the kid’s Dad was sort of taken in by his mother’s (Insane Granny’s) claims. She didn’t tell me much about that just that he’s sleeping in the guest room now. I offered to speak to him but she (rightly I suppose) thinks he should trust her without outside input.

I’ve advised her to contact Social Services herself and give them my contact information so there is an official paper trail and Insane Granny’s Social Worker Friend can’t claim she didn’t know anything about me. I’ve also told her to make a complaint about Social Service’s Friend but she’s nervous that doing so right now would make things worse.

So that’s where we are right now. I doubt they’ll be much to update about once I speak to Social Services and the Police but the kid’s parents are going to keep me in the loop so if there is anymore drama (please don’t let there be more drama) I’ll update again.

Edit: I just want to clear up something that I realise I didn't make particularly clear in this post. The kid's Mum will definitely be reporting the Social Services Friend. We know what she is doing is illegal, she's just nervous that reporting right now will make things worse. I know it won't, YOU know it won't and she does know that it won't but so far EVERYONE has turned against her so I don't blame her for feeling this way. I will however talk to her again about reporting her now.

I also missed out from this post the fact that I mentioned to her about getting a Solicitor. She never really gave me a straight answer regarding that issue but she's at least aware she should get legal help.

Update 4 (17 Oct 2016)

I’d asked the kid’s mum if she wanted me to go and make a statement to the Police or just wait until Social Services contact me. She wanted me to go to the Police as she’s trying to get an Interdict Order (essentially a Restraining Order) against Insane Granny.

So I went to give my statement to the Police and oh boy has Insane Granny done a number on them. After the kid’s parents told her that they were in contact with me she went to the Police and told them that I might come in claiming to have been involved in the original store incident. She’s managed to weave some intricate lie essentially trying to discredit me before I gave evidence. This worked, to a certain extent.

The Officer in charge of the case made it very clear he thought I was lying and had been paid off (he asked me a few times how much I was making doing this and told me I could be arrested for wasting Police time and perjury) he was immediately dismissive of me and condescending. Which, I’m ashamed to say, I don’t respond very well to. I mentioned in a comment on one of my previous posts that I work in Forensics and I’ve been an expert witness (both educational and reporting). Implying that I could be accepting bribes or am lying could potentially kill my career. No way am I endangering my career because some manipulative old lady has an Officer wrapped around her gnarly old witch finger.

Unfortunately I have worked with more than my fair share of people who take one look at me and think I’m some sort of inexperienced, daft bimbo. I usually try to assert myself and if that doesn’t work, let them embarrass themselves, it happens eventually.

In this case it happened at the end of the interview when he asked me for my employment details. My official job title sounds way more important than it is (it has the words ‘Lead’, ‘Investigator’, ‘Forensic’ and a few other ones in there that make me sound impressive). This definitely made him sit up and listen.

I’m not gonna lie I kinda chewed him out a bit (though he mostly realised himself that he’d fucked up) he’d allowed himself to be completely manipulated by Insane Granny and I pointed out that it’s pure luck that what I do for a living comes with a lot of credibility. What would have happened if I had been some poor student or someone uncomfortable in this type of situation or heck, anyone else.

So I set the record straight about Insane Granny, well, what I know to be fact. I also filled him in off the record about what Aunt and the kid’s Mum told me (which I obviously can’t prove). So we had a chat and I got a few things straightened out. One of which was that Insane Granny did in fact contact the Police after the incident at the store. I was originally told that she contacted the Police who contacted Social Services, then I was told that this wasn’t true, instead Insane Granny had contacted her Social Services Friend who reported the incident and somehow got the Police involved (it was unclear how).

So we think (complete speculation on my and the Police’s part here by the way) that once Insane Granny made her report to the Police and they said that they’d be contacting Social Services, Insane Granny took it upon herself to contact her Social Services Friend. So we definitely know that Social Services Friend is not officially involved (a few of you who work in Social Services pretty much said the same thing).

Insane Granny and Social Services Friend are basically a rogue duo going around town trying to get dirt on the kid’s Mum.

I’ve reported her (I’ve told the kid’s Mum this too) and the Police are now aware of her, though whether they just let Social Services deal with her or get themselves involved I don’t know yet.

The Officer also told me some of the things Insane Granny has claimed about me. Now before anyone loses their shit about him breaking confidentiality, etc, he never actually gave me her side of the story or told me what she said in her statement (I got that from the kid’s Aunt). All he told me was what she said when she came into ‘warn’ him I’d be making a ‘fake’ Police report.

So she’s claimed to the Police, that I, someone she knows absolutely nothing about and met for less than 5mins am:

• A poor student desperate for money
• I have a history of lying to the Police; she knows this because apparently I’m friends with the kid’s Mums drug addict cousin
• I might be a drug addict she doesn’t know
• I once tried to seduce her son, the kid’s Dad (which is impressive as I’ve never met the guy before)

Unfortunately I gave him all my whats so I don’t have any to spare for you.

I also asked about the security cameras outside the store, they didn’t manage to get anything from them as they’re aimed at the door not the pick-up area (I did have a look on the way in and thought it might be a long shot).

So what’s still to happen?

• The kids parents will have an official Social Services visit sometime soon
• Social Services will most like want to talk to me
• The Police will be going after Insane Granny for wasting Police time/filing a false Police report.
• There will hopefully be a follow up to my complaint about Social Service Friend

Update 5 (25 Oct 2016)

I don’t think you’ll need your drama llamas for this update, more likely you’ll need you’re....perplexed....alpacas(?). Anyway it’s more weird than dramatic.

As some of you know, because of the state of my ankle, I’ve been staying with my parents and younger brother for the last few months. Well on Monday, my Mum had the day off and was puttering around the house. My parents place is in a very rural area of Scotland; our closest neighbour is 6 miles away and our house is at the end of what is essentially a mile long dirt/tractor track. It’s hard to find and the only strangers we get out here are either forestry people who missed the forest access road or one or two brave (or quite possibly lost) Jehovah Witnesses. Google Maps and SatNavs can’t find it and no one delivers out here except the Royal Mail.

At around noon a car pulled up, however no one got out. This isn’t too unusual, as I said, it’s usually someone lost. So she hung around at the front of the house in case they came over to ask directions; instead after a few minutes, the car left. About an hour later; same car pulls up and the same thing happens again.

Another hour goes by and they’re back again, only this time two women exited the car. They didn’t go to the door; instead they decided to have a little snoop around. One tried to go around the back of the house which is currently fenced off as our back garden is being used as a paddock for a pregnant mare and her foal. The other started trying to look in the windows, so my Mum goes out and asks if she could help them. They very quickly say no, they were just looking before booking it back to their car and speeding off.

Naturally, my Mum was confused enough to tell and my Dad, brother and I what happened pretty much as soon as we got home. I’ve definitely been working in Forensics too long as my immediate reaction was that they were casing the place.

Now, we have security cameras. They’re not for the house or security; they were originally set-up around our back garden so we could watch for when the mare went into labour. They were never removed because the foal turned out to be the reincarnation of Houdini and then we had the mare covered again.

One of the cameras is aimed at the gate that one of the women tried to open to get into the back garden. So we had a little look at the footage;

Can you guess who was trying to open that gate?

Yep, Insane Granny was at my parents place.

I have no idea who her friend was; what they wanted or why they didn’t talk to my Mum and I can only assume she got this address from the kids parents (my money is on the Dad). My Mum had today off work as well but she said no one turned up. However, I have a day off tomorrow and apart from my brother being about in the morning, I’ll be home alone.

I know many of you will suggest calling the police for either harassment or trespassing (or both) but in Scotland, trespassing is a civil matter not a criminal one so they can’t get involved. There are laws regarding trespassing but they’re mostly to do with squatting and Scotland has a lot of Public Access Laws which essentially let people go where ever they want in regards to the rural areas.

The stalking and harassment Laws require two related incidents and must pass the “reasonable person” test (if the average person on the street was subject to this behaviour would they feel threaten/alarmed/distressed, if not then there was no offense). The offender must also be aware that what they are doing is causing alarm/distress. For example; if your MIL wants access to your kids and keeps coming around to your house to complain every night for a fortnight. You become fed up and begin to feel distressed about your MIL’s constant visits. Your MIL is aware that her behaviour will cause you distress and is hoping to wear you down into letting her see your kids.

I’m not particularly worried; even with my leg I’m pretty sure I could take her and my brother has graciously let me borrow ‘Bernard’ his old Shinty stick with a kitchen knife duct taped to it (when I first broke my ankle I also gave myself a head injury, my brother and I spent that night and the next day binge watching The Walking Dead and I think he freaked himself out as 2 days later ‘Bernard’ appeared).

It’s too close to Halloween for this shit.

Edit: Ok, the general view is that I should contact the Police about this. I'm planning to call both Social Services and the Police tomorrow, I doubt the Police will do anything but as everyone has pointed out, at the very least it'll be documented. I've also texted the kid's Mum but i haven't heard back yet

**************************************************************

Once again, I am not OP.

Midpoint TL;DR- OP saves a child from running into traffic after being bullied and released by Granny. Granny gives false police report to get custody of said child. OP has chance encounter with child's aunt and offers to be a witness. Granny goes to police station first and lies about OP. Luckily resolved due to OP's profession- forensics, alongside the police. Granny then turns up at OP's home.

Part 2

This is a bit hard for me to post.

My sister (30F) has a very high functioning form of autism, which isn't apparent when you first meet her. She is very cheerful and overall everyone likes to be around her. She met a guy a few years ago and they ended up marrying.

I (32M) was happy for her and glad that at least she has someone who will be by her. However one night they announced to my family that she is pregnant. It seemed like no one had an issue with this, but I don't think she should take on the huge responsibilities of being a mother.

I tried to get a read on what they are planning to do with the baby. When I was alone with my sister, I told her "I don't think you should have a baby, you'd be unfit to raise it, you really need to think about abortion and talk it out with your husband"

My sister got extremely anxious and didn't say anything and ended up leaving. A day later her husband came to my home and yelled at me for telling her to get an abortion. I told him "okay and when the baby falls down the stairs and breaks its neck because his mother forgot to watch him, it will be all your fault for deciding to have it."

The husband told me not to contact them again, which is bullshit because she is my sister and I certainly will. Plus, I don't think it's fair for their child to have an autistic mother.