u/Ziytouna

Salam, Eid is approaching and so that brings certain kind of events or feelings with it, right.

I wanted to remind everyone of us again that even if you look very practising from the outside and ppl know your dad, that doesn't automatically mean that proposals send to your house come from practising men or men who actually choose you for those qualities. I feel that is even more so the case, the older you get. Bcs there are plenty of non-practising men who are now at a point where they want to settle down and if they like the way you look and see your family as being traditional then they will go for it, no matter how little their life had alligned with this way of living until now or how little they actually care about their wife's level of practising Islam.

So do your due diligence, pray Istikhaara, and don't lose hope, my dear sisters 🤧💙🥹🫂. Let's make the best of these blessed days bi'idhni Allah.

Salam what do you typically eat before training? I don't want to consume any processed powders or stuff like that so I typically drink a shake made from 1 banana, 1 raw egg, 1 tsp ghee, with 1 tsp flaxseed, 1 tsp oats and three dates previously soaked in water. Sometimes I add raw fermented kefir and honey instead of the raw egg depending on what I need.

This works really well for me alhamdulillah, bcs I often train after coming home from uni or in early noon so I do need to eat something that keeps me full but not to a point where I am stuffed.

Assalamaleikum wrhmtl, I have to memorise a poem for my lingustics class and I can choose whatever I like. I want to memorise an arabic poem that I can benefit from as well as my non-muslim collegues. Do you have any ideas or suggestions?

Jazakum Allahu khairan

* not trying to ruffle feathers, but rather to reflect together *

I was just thinking, when you get married, your husband is most likely going to be at work for the majority of the day. Even if you cook a fresh meal and clean the house daily. At some point, housechores will be done and your Tafseer class will end. So then you will have free time on your hands and will probably miss your family.

Or, you are a highfunctioning woman, who stresses out about uni exams and work. So, even when you do want to spend time with your husband and be the sweetest wife, you will at some point have to prioritize your studies or work preparation and compromise on either the time spend together or household chores.

Either way, if you have no routine or structure in your day, struggle with loneliness and didn't nurture a social network prior to marriage, then it's going to be difficult for you and ultimately also your husband. Bcs a marriage is between two adults and it is unfair to expect the other party to shoulder your emotional unfullfillment or incompetence.

So I was contemplating on how to avoid such pitfalls and prepare for a better starting point.

I believe, one way to fix this problem is to investigate how you view marriage subconsciously. Like, what are your expectations of what a marital relationship means?

Depending on how this concept looks like for you, you will either struggle more or thrive in this marriage.

Some of us want everything stuffed in the role of our partner: a soulmate, a provider, a homemaker, a therapist, a playmate or whatever roles you can think of. But just 2 generations earlier, ppl didn't have all these complex expectations of emotional intelligence and charisma etc like we have today. Both women and men had their own social networks, and so they didn't depend on their spouse to fulfill all of these basic human needs and instead the focus was more on those needs that are exclusive to husband and wife.

But how does that translate into action today? For example, if you want to have deep emotional convos all the time, but your husband just isn't the type for that, you can fulfill that need by chatting with your sisters. Or if you want your wife, idk, to discuss how the global financial crisis was actually triggered, but she's not into geopolitics and stuff, then you can do that with your brothers.

I am not pointing fingers, as I am still working on this aspect myself. However, I think if Muslims living in the west start to expand their social life in a healthy way, then we can all lead more content marital lives. (I am saying this as sb living in Europe, not sure how this looks like in other parts of the world.)

🌌 Ishaa

• Pray in Jama'ah

• Night Adhkaar

• Surah Al-Mulk & Surah As-Sajda

• Go to sleep

➡️Uthman bin Affan narrated that :

Allah's Messenger said: "Whoever attends Isha (prayer) in congregation, then he has (the reward as if he had) stood half of the night. And whoever prays Isha and Fajr in congregation, then he has (the reward as if he had) spend the entire night standing (in prayer)."

Jami` at-Tirmidhi 221

➡️ At-Tirmidhi narrated from Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) would not go to sleep until he had recited “Alif, Lam, Mim. [This is] the revelation of the Book” [Surat As-Sajdah ] and “Tabarak alladhi bi yadihi’l-mulk… (Blessed is He in whose hand is dominion…)” [Surat Al-Mulk] (Classed as authentic by Shaykh Al-Albani (may Allah have mercy on him))

➡️ Aisha reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, would not sleep before evening prayer and he would not stay up after it.

Sunan Ibn Mājah 702

🌃 Last third of the night

• pray Tahajjud

• make specific and targeted Du'a

➡️ Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Our Lord Almighty descends to the lowest heaven in the last third of every night, saying: Who is calling upon Me that I may answer him? Who is asking from Me that I may give him? Who is seeking My forgiveness that I may forgive him?”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1145, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 758

🌅 After Fajr

• Morning Adhkaar

• Quran

• Assignments

• Doha Salah

➡️ The messenger of Allah ﷺ said: "Oh Allah! Bless my people in the early part of the day." [Riyad as-Salihin 957]

➡️ It was narrated from Abu Dharr (may Allah be pleased with him), from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) that he said: “In the morning a charity is due from every joint of one of you. Every Tasbihah is a charity, every Tahmidah is a charity, every Tahlilah is a charity, every Takbirah is a charity, enjoining what is good is a charity, forbidding what is evil is a charity, and two Rak`ahs offered in the forenoon (Duha) will suffice for that .” (Narrated by Muslim, 1181)

🏞 After Asr (or Maghreb)

• Evening Adhkaar

I definitely missed some things, so please add your Barakah references as well ☺️🌱

What are your thoughts on a couple dynamic where the woman has a very bubbly and smiley personality, overly social, expressive and touchy-feely. Whereas the man is more introverted and a calm individual, a man of very few words, quite reserved and collected but with a very kind smile.

I know if values and priorities allign then many friction points can be worked out, but in theory what do you think of this constellation?

What if the man already displays signs of possessiveness and jealousy over the woman's liveliness despite not being in any position of authority/courtship, yet?

Allah created every person with unique character traits that will always be part of the core that makes up their person despite nourturing Hayaa and abiding by islamic rules of behaviour etc.

Edit: so if the man already appears bothered by the woman's friendliness will it become a problem down the line in your experience? Like, "don't be so friendly" "stop smiling at so and so" "why can't you be more quiet". When does possessiveness become unhealthy?

Salam, do you know any Tunisian youtubers, preferably with food, cooking and traveling vlogs? Or podcasts, series, documentaries that can help me to naturally develop a feeling for the dialect and culture? I am half NorthAfrican and still learning about the region's history and cultural and lingustic difference/similarities. I have previously learned Moroccan Darija through youtube vlogs and really like this type of medium.

Allahibaarikfeekum

Half a month ago I made a post inviting sisters to found another traditional Muslimahs' sub [ https://www.reddit.com/r/TraditionalMuslims/s/7TblGrT8r6 ] and alhamdulillah it is now live under r/TradSisterSphere and is basically the twin sub to r/TraditionalMuslimahs. I genuinely apologize if sb feels annoyed with me promoting it 🥹 but today I realised that not all sisters on here know yet that we have women's groups with traditional values alhamdulillah 🌿☺️💕

Women that are interested in this type of content here is a series of letters specially to my unmarried sisters 💌🌷

https://www.reddit.com/r/TradSisterSphere/s/iFeXEMDRMm

Everytime I write a to-do list I only get about 30% of that checklist done. This has always been my biggest challenge; getting all those things done that I would love to do in a day. In fact, I constantly have the feeling I am running far behind and time is flowing extraordinary fast, as if the sandclock had changed it's shape and the sand is trickling through at record speed.

But time, SubhanAllah is not the sandcorns passing through, nor the clock ticking on the wall. Time is a creation of Allah, and Allah is the One who alternates the night and the day. So, as Muslims we already start from a completely different premises when reflecting on time management and productivity. SubhanAllah there are certain times, where there is more Barakah in them and Barakah is what can transform our life.

For example, I always have to think of this statement I once heard: "sleepstudies that swear by 8h of sleep definitely weren't done on ppl who pray Tahajjud". And it's so accurate, I often get waswas from Shaytaan "oh you're tired, don't make Adhkaar, just go to sleep", but SubhanAllah I always notice a significant difference in my sleep quality whenever I recite my Adhkaar vs when I don't.

Currently my biggest struggle is that I don't prioritise properly, which leads to me procrastinating by doing tasks that aren't as urgent while in return neglecting assignments that have much more pressing deadlines. As a result my Hifdh is greatly suffering. So I need more structure in my day and night and whenever I focus on structuring my day around Salah and maximizing Barakah then everything is going much smoother.

For example, what has helped me alot is to revise Surah Al-Kahf during Maghreb prayer. I always got stuck on the same Ayah, so after Salah I revisted that part, making sure the Mushaf was prepared on the right page already before prayer. After a few days I no longer got stuck on that part. It's a simple routine, a small tweak that has such a huge effect. And we know that the most beloved deeds to Allah are those that are constant, eventhough they may be few.

In the follow-up post, I will post a few Ahadith for us bi'dhnillah to structure our routines around maximum Barakah windows 🌷

I thought if the Khimaar reaches down to the hips, the fabric is heavy enough to resist the wind. Unfortunately I was greatly mistaken. Idk how it happend but I was carrying my babynephew with one arm and the groceries with the other and then suddenly a wind gush came and lifted the khimaar from below over my face 😭. I had it pinned on my shoulders alhamdulillah so it couldn't slip off completely.

Solution: I use small saftey pins and reach with my hand under the Abaya and pin the Khimaar from within with a safety pin on both sides and then the bottom end part. That way you don't see the pins and the Khimaar can't fly away. You don't even notice a visible difference.

I also wear a 100% cotton sleeveless circlecut dress under my abaya to prevent static tension and to brace myself against the wind 🫡 100% recommended 🌷