u/alriiaa

i’ve been working nightshifts for around 3 weeks now. during the first week or so, i could get up at around 12-1pm because i was with someone else so the workload was less.

i’m now alone, and i work the busiest days of the week (retail work btw), this past week i have been getting up at around 2pm and even 3pm today. it kills me off because 1pm already seemed back enough because i would miss out on a lot of the day where people are active. now with the 3, and knowing that this is what the job actually is — it feels depressing.

i really wish i could exist in two places at once, or that i didn’t have to sleep.

i feel like it’s an age old questions, but how do you manage this? i really want a stronger balance but for now i feel exhausted.

this isn’t a vent post, i’ll just be explaining a few things and then advice would be nice.

ever since i was a kid my dad has been an alcoholic. hell, he was even a workaholic, and sometimes worked 20 hour shifts. i genuinely don’t understand how that was legal, but most of my childhood he would get up at 3am and then come at 11pm when i was asleep. this continued till i was about 12? i don’t remember exactly, just one day he kinda showed up more because he had different hours.

anyway from 0-to my current age my dad has either been a. sleeping b. drinking. i made a realisation not that long ago that anytime my dad acts mean — he’s sober. he drinks all day and hates being called alcoholic but that’s what he is, he will drink before doctor’s appointments, at the beginning of the day, literally anything, and yes multiple times he’s drunk driven with me. we’ve been poor multiple times due to his drinking and now he’s somewhat disabled because of smoking, and working those 20 hour shifts. i remember a few times he couldn’t drive and he walked to the shop to get himself a few beers, plus he had scrounged up money from the house in change. actually, speaking of money — that’s a hot topic in my house, but i’ll get into that in a moment.

onto my mum, you may be thinking, oh it sucks your dad drinks but atleast you have your mum. you would be partially correct with this, while my mum doesn’t day drink, the moment it hits around 6pm, she’s gone! she has also been like this ever since i was a kid, and she also works nights so i used to hardly see her during the day sometimes while my dad slept downstairs. she’s a worse drunk than my dad, it’s more horrible because she’s a lightweight. she looks so absolutely gone and the way she blankly will stare or shout things or lay on the ground and sleep there unable to get up. it’s like a completely different person, because during the day she’s so nice to me.

my mum hurt her back the other month or so because she fell down the stairs while being drunk, she didn’t explain that to the doctor though because she was embarrassed. it sucks she won’t be honest with that.

anyway, before this gets too long, money is a hot topic. mostly this is due to the fact that my parents have constantly stolen money from me ever since i was a kid. christmas and birthday money all gone on - you guessed it - alcohol or cigarettes. i remember one time my dad had a work party and stole my money and spent it all drinking, i was calling him like crazy and eventually he got home and shouted a hell at me. screaming at me to call the police on him and all this, my mum found out and made him apologise but all that was was a stupid forced hug. my parents didn’t talk for like a day after that.

numerous health issues because of alcohol and now i despise seeing them after 5pm. i hate hearing them talk and argue about it sometimes. the other day i was downstairs because i couldn’t be alone due to my own issues and they began arguing and snatching a bottle back and forth. i can’t stand it, and i feel crazy for it. everyone in my family knows they drink and they constantly buy stuff for them on holidays, which would be fine if it was just the holidays — but it’s not. no one knows how bad it was for me growing up and instead i feel like it’s treated like a fucking joke.

my parents were never my parents in the evening. i never had my dad during the day at all. my mum was only half present.

how do i deal with this? i’m terrified for when i do move out because right now they’re 50s and 60s. i can’t stand to look at them sometimes and i hate seeing the stacks of empty bottles everywhere. i can’t stand the money issues. it annoys me more and more everyday.

how did you deal with this? or do you have any outside advice? any is welcome — just help. or just pretend to be my loving parents, because i never knew how much it’s affected me till recently.

recently i’ve started a new job and it’s nightshifts, during the morning until around 12-1p, i’m asleep. i feel like because i’ve only recently started i’m more tired than normal and sometimes oversleep that boundary or take naps throughout the day. i’ve only been there for a week and have take 1 overtime shift, and accepted full time work there.

but more recently too i’ve realised how much i suck at balancing the two. i want to be at work and create a good image for myself, gain money so i can learn how to drive/plan to move out. i want to be with friends and family because i love and care about them. i often mix them together and work ends up winning, as said before with the overtime and such.

today i blindly accepted another shift because i was sick the other day and yeah, i won’t go into reasons but i suppose it was mostly because of that. for reference, typically my two days off are mon and tues because i finish mon morning at 5a. i had a friend who was away last week and we had a plan to meet up on one of my days off, and because i took the monday, it basically left me with zero time off. it was stupid of me and i find my reasoning silly looking back — to cut a long story short, i made a big mess out of the whole exchange. at first i said we can still go out just later, and then i said i could take the day off and it just continued.

i’m not here to vent, this was just background, but it just makes me wonder a ton how people manage with work life balance? for a start, i won’t be accepting any new shifts randomly so that gets knocked out, but i mean in general too? does it really exist? especially with nightshifts because you’re impacted during the day too.

quick questions for more background:
i also want to gain more money right now to help with household costs and food.
recently my dog has hurt himself and i have no idea what the vet costs will be.
my work is extremely understaffed and the quality is poor half the time, the manager i spoke to about having a day off said before how his boss is constantly belittling him, and i guess i gave in too because of this.
for my sick day, it was mostly a weird sort of panic attack thing and i chalked it up to lack of sleep and heat exhaustion, but really i’m unsure.

really i need help. i don’t want to continue being a dick about this and hurting people

recently i’ve started a new job and it’s nightshifts, during the morning until around 12-1p, i’m asleep. i feel like because i’ve only recently started i’m more tired than normal and sometimes oversleep that boundary or take naps throughout the day. i’ve only been there for a week and have take 1 overtime shift, and accepted full time work there.

but more recently too i’ve realised how much i suck at balancing the two. i want to be at work and create a good image for myself, gain money so i can learn how to drive/plan to move out. i want to be with friends and family because i love and care about them. i often mix them together and work ends up winning, as said before with the overtime and such.

today i blindly accepted another shift because i was sick the other day and yeah, i won’t go into reasons but i suppose it was mostly because of that. for reference, typically my two days off are mon and tues because i finish mon morning at 5a. i had a friend who was away last week and we had a plan to meet up on one of my days off, and because i took the monday, it basically left me with zero time off. it was stupid of me and i find my reasoning silly looking back — to cut a long story short, i made a big mess out of the whole exchange. at first i said we can still go out just later, and then i said i could take the day off and it just continued.

i’m not here to vent, this was just background, but it just makes me wonder a ton how people manage with work life balance? for a start, i won’t be accepting any new shifts randomly so that gets knocked out, but i mean in general too? does it really exist? especially with nightshifts because you’re impacted during the day too.

quick questions for more background:
i also want to gain more money right now to help with household costs and food.
recently my dog has hurt himself and i have no idea what the vet costs will be.
my work is extremely understaffed and the quality is poor half the time, the manager i spoke to about having a day off said before how his boss is constantly belittling him, and i guess i gave in too because of this.
for my sick day, it was mostly a weird sort of panic attack thing and i chalked it up to lack of sleep and heat exhaustion, but really i’m unsure.

really i need help. i don’t want to continue being a dick about this and hurting people

disclamier: this isn’t for pity or anything of the sorts, i just wanted to fully give a vent on life right now. just be able to get it down so i can move on and actually live more. i’m okay, just thinking, and for the person who knows me irl who could be reading this — really **i’m okay**

i’m realising more and more how sad i was as a kid. the behaviours i did and the way i acted were clear signs i wasn’t okay, although that often got dismissed. my dad has a very backward unsympathetic way of thinking most of the time, and it makes me feel like a burden half the time because of it. i was thinking about how he gets jealous when other people act fatherly with me, but then he doesn’t do it back. i was thinking about ever since he had his stroke and became depressed and how much life has spiralled from there.

in the winter, on my birthday, my dad suffered a stroke, we didn’t think much of it and we were blind to do so, later on he had much more and it still effects him now. random twitches, lost feeling and bad mental health, alongside other health issues which made him lose his job — it’s been on hell of a thing. i can try and be warm to him, but it’s a struggle given all our history. sure, i probably sound like a cock right now lol, but it’s hard too when he still pushes people away.

recently my dog has suffered a somewhat minor injury, he’s old (around 14) and stumbled off a step and hurt his paw. it’s been around 2-3 days since then and he’s still acting off, but i’m also unsure if it’s because of the heatwave.

the other week i was at a small job and left to enter another job. i was paid for the other job around 2 days ago and today when my dog’s paw persisted i asked if we can please go to the vet and that i’d pay. i said this to my mum and she dismissed it. later during the day i saw my dad again and he said “so i’ve been thinking, about the dog, and you just got paid.”

my mum explained that i already ask to pay for it and then he told her to shut up multiple times and then asked me again, i said i can pay ofcourse, he’s my boy, and he said okay we’ll see.

this would be a normal interaction without background information. that being:

my parents are alcholics and smokers.
they spend their money all on that.
my dad is on benefits and yesterday he received some money from it and it went on alcohol.
my dad asks for money constantly from me.
as a kid he stole my christmas and birthday money and pinned it on my mum, i asked my mum about it and she said it was my dad. spoilers: it was my dad, and he went out drinking afterwards, but my mum wasn’t innocent she often took my money too and i was foolish enough to tell her where it was because i trusted her more.
this wasn’t one christmas, this was my whole childhood.
in a short summary: my parents are older and gave up on me, my dad, as i said, is very old fashioned and literally had me to continue a family name — i mean? how medieval is that?

so yeah, i’m able to pay for the dog since he’s been my only “friend”, and i’m more than okay with it. i just hate the way my dad went about it, and it’s making me wonder about the rest of my life and how long i need to put up with this. like i said, i just started a new job, and with the dog, my dad and all this shit, i’ve been stressed out to say the least.

my dad isn’t getting better and instead tried to get better around a few months ago, it lasted a week and then he’s back drinking. i mean, i realised the other day i never saw my dad sober as a kid. he worked long shifts and was gone (not kidding) 20 hours of the day. so really, i barely knew him. i was left with my mum and she’s very nice but also not very present.

i’m going on and going because i’m nervous. my dog is older, i know he’s going to die one day or another, and i know my dad is too. the future seems so beyond me half the time, and i keep on coming up with this idea that i can run away far from here. i don’t know what i want to gain from this — i’m anxious and scared.

thank you for reading.

don’t get it wrong, i was very into creepypastas as a kid so i’m not foreign to them.
just one question for this sub however, why is there an ai generated tag? everyone shits on ai, we all know why, so what’s going on here? 😭

hello everyone :) !

recently i got a job (woo), so now during my break i want to keep my mind more active since they’re night shifts.
currently for the books/movie adaptations i like they are typically made/produced in the 90s.
aka. fight club, trainspotting!

was wondering if anyone had any recs like those? kinda drawing a blank on any info right now, but lmk if i need to get more specific! (although i’m open to a lot)

edit: thank you for all the comments sharing your stories! it feels so much less lonely and i wish you all the best :))

sorry if this is the wrong sub.

hi all, i’m looking into becoming a veterinarian/vet nurse in the north of england. i’ve studied a course in my earlier years and have always been interested by the subject (long before i self harmed).

with my question, i want to ask if i’m able to go into the area with self harm scars. why am i asking? i’ve heard a lot of things about self harm and reguarding workplaces due to the high stress of this job, thought i would ask because sometimes it gets disqualified.

for some questions, here are the answers:
how long have i self harmed for?
- around 10 years. it’s been very on and off.
do i have scars/where are they?
- yes. a lot. for the workplace environment, yes they cover my arms and a small potion of my hand.
will i receive help in the future for it/will i stop?
- yes, i’m looking into all sorts of therapy and currently am undergoing a small course.

any more questions i can answer. sorry if this sounds off or like a simple thing of “you can just google it”, yes, kinda! just want to hear from a human’s perspective and what you find in your work environment!

thank you!

hello all!!

i’ve just recently started night shifts (by recently i mean yesterday) and during my break i was practically falling asleep… due to this, i was wondering if anyone had any things to do during the break to bascially engage my mind and help keep me up?

anything i can physically bring is nice, in the staff room we have a tv but that’s super tiring to stare at for a while.

thankyou for any advice

on the application it was thur, fri, sat - 10pm - 7am. sunday 10pm - 5am.

that adds up to around 34 hours of work - given the pay around 450~ a week.

but when i first got there they said i have 1 and 1/2 hours of unpaid break, taking my hours back down to 28? which gets me 370~ a week.

sure, the money is a shitty move, however i’m more interested about the hours themselves. because my job could have been classified as almost full time, but now it’s knocked back down to part time. just, a bit annoying….

i got up at around 10 am, because i couldn’t sleep. tried to sleep - short story, didn’t work. went up for a walk, now i’m shattered. downed 2 energy drinks and drank some coffee. anxious as fuck. 😭 i start in 2 ish hours - send help….. i’m so nervous i’m going to crash…….

start a new job soon, and i thought the pay was okay, it’s abit above minimum wage - so i was like ok sure, hell yeah! it comes around to 21k~ a year before tax, and i thought that was the average until i looked it up and saw it was shit.

and looking at how much homes and bills are a month… i find it impossible to believe how some people are living.

right now, my parents only have one source of income between them due to my dad’s health issues. i now can’t imagine how we’re upkeeping it!? i mean, we do suffer sometimes, but genuinely how!

with this in mind and the minimum wage, i find it so insane to beileve it’s that low! even my current one, it’s a simple job but one a lot of people apply to due to educational matters or just anything, i can’t imagine this being your main source of income or anything? the world is getting so insanely expensive, that i’m just so confused on how this is even allowed!

yeah, we all know about inflation… but i’m only really now looking into this all.. my parents, as a kid never spoke about money, and it was kind of a taboo topic…. now?!?!?

i don’t know if i jus sound stupid but jesus, the world is crazy!?

just a basic night shift job really, but when we sat down he said it wouldn’t be a proper interview. instead he asked me what i think of the job and what my availability was, also that he wanted me out by the next hour because it was late in the day. asked about gaps in my employment and asked for id, said that i worked retail before but apart from that - that was it. no other questions and instead he just showed me around the shop floor.

wondering if i ever will get a “proper” interview where they ask me all the generic questions… or just anything, because he didn’t ask me.. well, anything. or is this just standard procedure? just asking because i applied to another big retailer and had a proper longer interview, but this one i didn’t get it?

i’m overthinking this to death, but i’m just wondering why, you know? 😭

backstory:

i just got hired at sainsbury’s and had an induction day today with some training. the hours are minimal, online assistant work - 4am till 8am.
however, before i got the confirmation that i got the job, another placement reached out to me. i scheduled the interview and was happy with the hours there. 10pm till 7am. (10pm till 5am on sunday) both night shifts so increased pay.

however for sainsburys the schedule is: wednesday, friday, saturday.
job b has the schedule: thursday, friday, saturday, sunday.

i understand i can work saturday and sunday at job b and keep sainsburys. but considering that’s only 2/4 days and only 16 hours, i considered if i could work 10pm till 3am for the other two days? they are around 40 minutes away from eachother so.

this all sounds like a lot, but i really need advice. the reason i want to work both jobs is that right now and in general money has been… terrible. my parents have a ton of bad expensive habits and my dad is out of a job right now and we’re in debt, possibly need to fight a court case too.

any advice is nice - i really need it :(

bascially, the job is nothing special… just shop floor in a big retail shop.
but i feel like the actual interview is what i’m so nervous for… basically - i don’t have any trousers apart from jeans and a skirt. not sure if skirt is the right move however.
for references, i don’t have them physically written but you could always ring the place and ask for one (is that what they do..) for character references i have a grand total of zero.

the interview is tomorrow and i feel very underperformed. 😭

i’ve had jobs before but those didn’t require interviews and were more so for experience. i just showed up and did on the job training for the most part. today i woke up and got an email saying wooo book your interview with us….

and now i’m shitting myself.

i’ve had mock interviews done on me and passed — supringsly — but those were yknow, just mocks. they said generic questions and i gave back generic results, woo woo - you passed.

but this is the real thing, and also one which might actually land me a job after being unemployed for.. awhile.

literally any tips are helpful. the job is for retail, so it’s not like major high stakes, but still. i’m kinda clueless on what to bring and what to say because right now, i don’t really have references from my previous employers (difficult situation), and i don’t have a printer or anything to print off my cv or whatever nonsense i need.

idk if being in the uk matters for this but that’s where i am…

ty for reading and pls help.