u/bi-deftones-queen

How do I convince my mom to let me get a lip piercinggg? She thinks I’ll hate it eventually. Or do I do it myself I also wanna get my third and my helix as well as my eyebrow (no I haven’t told her any of that because it’d overwhelm her)

How do I convince my mom to let me get a lip piercinggg? She thinks I’ll hate it eventually.

TW MENTIONS OF: DRVGS, SH, SVICIDE, NVDITY, ED, SA

14f it all started when I was probably 6, the first time I realized my grandparents (dad’s side so I’ll call them B side) don’t believe I need effort. At all. Then we fast forward to 7. My mom’s in and out of the hospital because of surgeries. Constantly. Terrible time. Now we fast forward to 9. Daddy’s on drugs. Mom wakes us up in the house freaking out. “Why the fuck are you on drugs again?” “I’m leaving you I’m so fucking done with you.” So we leave. My grandma picks us up. It’s early we go to eat breakfast after grandma calls daddy a monster. Why’s my daddy a monster? I love my daddy, get to their house. And they’re all talking about daddy I love my daddy but I guess I need to agree because he is doing bad stuff. Mommy asks me if she should stay with him. No of course not he’s on drugs. He shows up to her house. So he claims sobriety. Soon after. Guess what? He isn’t sober so from school one day we get picked up and my mom has suitcases in the back of her car? Why? I don’t know? So now me and my brother are nervous. And I guess we’re going to grandparents side a to stay. We stay a night. Mommy and daddy are fighting. My big brother say “this is why I’ve been wanting to kms for a while”. My brother wants to die? This is so confusing. Dad’s clean now. I’m scared. Fast forward I’m 10. I’m at school. Friends are talking. Friend L says her dads on drugs and I say me too my daddy had foam come out of his mouth when he sleep. We trauma bond. Wait I like her more than a friend? Am I straight? No. I date a few girls. Cute little crushes. I might’ve kissed one not really though. Mom decides to get me real phone instead of fake one or table I had so she looks thru fake one. I get home mommy asks me if I have something to tell her and hugs me. Mommy and daddy leave me with my grandma (side a) and I’m so nervous I’ll have to break up with my girlfriend. Mommy daddy please let me stay with her. I get home. Mommy and daddy are telling me how I shouldn’t be “anything sexual” but mommy!! Daddy!!! I’m bisexual! I like them both. Dad says I’m like his brother. His gay disowned brother. Ouch dad! That one hurt. Whatever. I beg my parents while sobbing please let me stay with her. But guess what? They say “it’s not that hard. Do you want a husband and a kid, or a wife and a dog?” I don’t fucking want either but I can’t say that but mommy daddy? So I say I don’t know. Yes I do. I want her. I want my girlfriend. Even if it’s a little crush. Now I’m 11. I get diagnosed with a disease same one I had in 2nd grade. I get pulled out of school for 2 months but I don’t care cause I’m getting bullied anyway. I’m out, and people are saying I have cancer?! No I don’t!! They’re calling me teapot cause of my laugh? I’m fat? No they’re right. I am. So I sit in my room making bookmarks and reading my book and cutting bookmarks with scissors. But wait what’s cvtting feel like? Let’s try it. I use the scissor and cvt my finger. Wait. Now I can breathe. This feels kinda good. Let’s do it again. (A pattern.) I tell my cousin. Oh wait she’s doing it too. Understanding. mom makes me mad while I wash dishes. I yell. She takes my phone. I go to bed. As I “sleep” my dad tells me to come down. I say can’t it wait til th morning he says no. I sit on the couch. Mommy and daddy wanna know why I would ever do that. Me and mom are crying. Dads mad. I continue to do it til sixth grade it gets so bad tha I’m doing it in class with disassembled paperclips. Skip to seventh grade. Friends quit talking to me as much. I get stressed. So I wonder well what would cvtting one more time feel like. I plan it. I end ip doing it 1-3x per night. I only missed one night in the span of 31 days. I end up with 39 scars. In this process I’m also sending random dudes nudes they like my body yay!! I feel appreciated wait no I’m fat I hate my body but I’ll still Send but maybe I can restrict too. Sounds good. Maybe I’ll try throwing up. Nah not for me only did it once. In this process th whole time im telling an Indian dude. All of a suddden I remember some how that my grandma (side b) used to and still did fondle my boobs. I forget about the cvtting one night so I come out in a dress (strapless) my mom sees my arm and asks what that is I’m not in the mood to talk I say and she says she doesn’t care I say she’s gonna cry she says no she isn’t so I call my brother down. Please help me deal with them. (This night was gonna be my first attempt, didn’t get to) so now dad and mom are asking why I don’t say why I blame grandma b purely not nudes or anything so they say they’ll look thru my phone I say no they chase me dad tackles me shit fuck that hurt. They get my phone I have a panic attack, they start looking thru it in front of mom dad and brother this is embarrassing I get home from school next day and guess what she found more and told grandma a, grandma a is so understanding and sweet. But now they buy me cream to get rid of scars but no I don’t want to then it feels like it never happened. Fast forward summer before now, wait there’s this girl I really like her but there’s no way I mean that was back when I was 10, 13 yr old me can’t like girls too. Fuck it I’ll date her. I want to. I like it, I like it too much we gotta break up (biggest heartbreak ever) now I ahve a notebook full of poems, me and grandma a run in the goodwill while moms washing car and reading poem she comes back and tells me that if she got past the first page she wouldn’t be able to drive us home. Btw in between this I’m in therapy. I don’t tel the therapist anything. Too risky. I tel her too much one day. I guess I have MDD I’ll tel mom. Oh mom says I don’t, oh she didn’t book a new appointment. Oh she says I look better I don’t need it anymore. Oh.

Now I have people at school talking about a guy I online dated and I had told him abt the whole cvtting so he threaten to call the police on me so I broke up with him but they don’t know that so they keep mentioning him and another guy I sent nudes too. This hurts. I barely have friends. Wow. Now mind you through all this I talked other people through not killing themselves.

I’m super nervous this is my first comicon I 14f am going with my brother 17m and I don’t know what costume to wear or what makeup but some of my costume ideas were poison ivy and female Loki but is there like anything I need to know to bring or anything

Please recommend me temu, SHEIN, Amazon, AliExpress alt, grunge, y2k or emo finds!! (Clothing wise, accessories, room decor) I want new stuff for cheap and please don’t hate for these certain sites. I have a budget.

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