u/ding_dong_throwaway

I thought I was going to see Jesus. I don’t think I’ve ever had gas pains this bad in my life. I’m still having them. Will I ever be able to eat yogurt again? How long did it take everyone for their gut to behave after surgery? I’m pretty upset because I love yogurt.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m still very bloated and swollen from the gas in my abdomen, but I’ve been snacking all day. I’ve literally had tons of graham crackers, 12 California rolls, almost half a tray of fruit, an avocado, 2 jello cups, and a small cup of Italian ice. And I can’t tell if I’m full no matter what, but everything I’ve eaten, it hasn’t given me any problems like food did before my surgery. Maybe I’m just subconsciously relishing in that. I’ve also had my first bowel movement today and feel better from that as well.

I keep hearing that after getting it removed you won’t have an appetite and people lose a lot of weight from not eating as much, so part of me is feeling a little bad about myself and confused why my appetite is so strong since the surgery and I can’t feel full no matter what and always feel like I need to eat. Anyone else’s early recovery was like this? I never even snacked or ate this much when I had my gallbladder.

There’s a lot of challenges I’ve been having with my best friend. She’s basically burned bridges with everyone we’ve been friends with irl, every community, and brought me down with her because she thinks everyone’s against her. Anyways, in 5 days I’m having gastrointestinal surgery because I’ve been in severe pain for months, got a diagnosis, and they wanted to do the surgery as soon as possible. I only got the date of the surgery a few days ago.

I told her the date, that it’ll be the 25th. She’s seen me in severe pain and not being able to eat anything for months. So when I told her, I thought she’d be supportive. But the only thing she had to say was complain about it being in the summer. And then when I confirmed it really was in 5 days, she got even more upset and said no what the fuck.

Not once did she say anything about me or wishing me luck. I am in severe pain, scared for the surgery itself, having it overlap with my own birthday because I’m in that much pain, and all she cares about is it ruining her summer fun. Wow.

I’m 5’3, average weight, but have G cups boobs! I also have pretty bad claustrophobia. Honestly lately I’ve been feeling so trapped by them, moving around, doing tasks, laying down, just about anything makes me feel suffocated when I can feel them there getting in the way of everything. I literally have to hold my arms out like in front of me. The feeling of being so trapped by them has been sending me into slight panic attacks where my chest feels tight because I just want to rip them off and be free. Anyone else? It’s the worst feeling ever.

He was the only guy that treated me right. 9 days ago he broke up with me. He drove out to see me to explain himself when I was sobbing on the phone, spent hours with me and took me out to dinner and paid for it (which I offered to split but he said no) even though I couldn’t stomach a bite. He kept offering to buy me things I saw and liked in stores but I said no.

I know he was starting to get distant and his circumstances were getting worse. He lost his dad, lost his scholarship because of grades dropping because of it when he’s supposed to graduate this year, just got a medical debt notice, and might be deported back to his country at war if he doesn’t fix everything with internships and getting a good job. He said everything is too much and he can’t handle a relationship anymore but I treated him the best out of any girlfriend he had, kept saying I’m beautiful and that he still feels things, and that he’d still fall for me in another universe but he’s too overwhelmed. He said he’d stay in my life and spend my birthday with me as a friend but he can’t be my boyfriend. I know he’s terrified to have to go back to his country but he doesn’t talk about it.

We talked for hours in his car and I couldn’t let go of him, but he seemed set in his decision and kept reminding me that it’s over and that his life is falling apart too bad and he can’t be the boyfriend I want. But I have been there for him every day and I’d want him any way, even if he’s stressed.

I’m not going to get into specifics but we ended up having emotional sex in the back of his car. Just one thing led to another. While we were sitting there after that he was holding my hand and finally fully opening up about things going on, but kept specifying that he can’t do a relationship anymore. When he got home, he called me to make sure I remembered to take my medicine, then called again an hour later to make sure I had fallen asleep okay. I missed that call.

I know things are out of my control but I wish he could keep me but I know life isn’t a movie. I keep feeling like I didn’t do enough for him to love me enough to keep me by his side through thick and thin and have a shoulder to lean on. When I told him that he said maybe that would be the case to stay with me through it if he was a US citizen with his families support, but he’s not the average person and there is so much he has to figure out, in his words. He really has no one. His dad’s gone and his mom’s on the other side of the world. Now he’s not texting me at all and last week I sent a meme, he says that we need space so I stopped texting him at all. We still have each other on social media and he still hasn’t removed his location yet. I’m scared that my absence means nothing while I miss him more than anything. And my intrusive thoughts are telling me that if he really loved me he’d keep me no matter want. But I know reality isn’t black and white.

But at the same time, 2 days ago we finally talked after a week. He told me that this breakup is as hard on time as it is me, and my absence affects him too. He said I never did anything wrong and he begged me not to tie my self worth to the relationship ending, and he said I was still welcome at his graduation, but that he genuinely can’t be in a relationship right now because he’s drowning and needs to fix and better his life. At the same time now he won’t reach out or text me at all because he says we need space, no I’m not contacting him either.

It hurts that his idea of bettering his life is removing me from it.

I’ve been discarded overnight by an abusive avoidant years ago and somehow this is hurting worse, because my ex blocked me on everything and didn’t look back, but him… we still have each other on everything. We still have each others locations even though he said he’d remove it. I’m not bothering him because he’s been at school every day even on the weekend late into after 1 am. I can see how stressed he is. But I just wish he’d give us a chance because all I wanted to do was support him. Even when we broke up, I gave him a care basket I made him.

I feel so selfish and I don’t know what to do.

I don’t mean to be TMI with this post, but I just want be enough for anyone to stay and I don’t want anyone but him. I wonder if after his final exams this week and the adrenaline wears off if he’ll come around. He broke up with me literally the Saturday before his exams. But I don’t want to be selfish. I just want to be there for him. But sometimes love just isn’t enough.

He was the only guy that treated me right. 4 days ago he broke up with me. He drove out to see me to explain himself when I was sobbing on the phone, spent hours with me and took me out to dinner and paid for it (which I offered to split but he said no) even though I couldn’t stomach a bite. He key offering to buy me things I saw and liked in stores but I said no.

I know he was starting to get distant and his circumstances were getting worse. He lost his dad, lost his scholarship because of grades dropping because of it when he’s supposed to graduate this year, just got a medical debt notice, and might be deported back to his country at war if he doesn’t fix everything with internships and getting a good job. He said everything is too much and he can’t handle a relationship anymore but I treated him the best out of any girlfriend he had, kept saying I’m beautiful and that he still feels things, and that he’d still fall for me in another universe but he’s too overwhelmed. He said he’d stay in my life and spend my birthday with me as a friend but he can’t be my boyfriend. I know he’s terrified to have to go back to his country but he doesn’t talk about it.

We talked for hours in his car and I couldn’t let go of him, but he seemed set in his decision and kept reminding me that it’s over and that his life is falling apart too bad and he can’t be the boyfriend I want. But I have been there for him every day and I’d want him any way, even if he’s stressed.

I’m not going to get into specifics but we ended up having emotional sex in the back of his car. Just one thing led to another. While we were sitting there after that he was holding my hand and finally fully opening up about things going on, but kept specifying that he can’t do a relationship anymore. When he got home, he called me to make sure I remembered to take my medicine, then called again an hour later to make sure I had fallen asleep okay. I missed that call.

I know things are out of my control but I wish he could keep me but I know life isn’t a movie. I keep feeling like I didn’t do enough for him to love me enough to keep me by his side through thick and thin and have a shoulder to lean on. When I told him that he said maybe that would be the case to stay with me through it if he was a US citizen with his families support, but he’s not the average person and there is so much he has to figure out, in his words. He really has no one. His dad’s gone and his mom’s on the other side of the world. Now he’s not texting me at all and every time I’ve said something light like sent a meme, he says that we need space so I stopped texting him at all. We still have each other on social media an he still hasn’t removed his location yet (which I’m not even checking). I’m scared that my absence means nothing while I miss him more than anything. And my intrusive thoughts are telling me that if he really loved me he’d keep me no matter want. But I know reality isn’t black and white.

I’ve been discarded overnight by an abusive avoidant years ago and somehow this is hurting worse.

I feel so selfish and I don’t know what to do.

I just want be enough for anyone to stay and I don’t want anyone but him. I wonder if after his final exams this week and the adrenaline wears off if he’ll come around. He broke up with me literally the Saturday before his exams. But I don’t want to be selfish. I just want to be there for him.

He was the only guy that treated me right. 3 days ago he broke up with me. He drove out to see me to explain himself when I was sobbing on the phone, spent hours with me and took me out to dinner and paid for it (which I offered to split but he said no) even though I couldn’t stomach a bite.

I know he was starting to get distant and his circumstances were getting worse. He lost his dad, lost his scholarship because of grades dropping because of it when he’s supposed to graduate this year, just got a medical debt notice, and might be deported back to his country at war if he doesn’t fix everything with internships and getting a good job. He said everything is too much and he can’t handle a relationship anymore but I treated him the best out of any girlfriend he had, kept saying I’m beautiful and that he still feels things, and that he’d still fall for me in another universe but he’s too overwhelmed. He said he’d stay in my life and spend my birthday with me as a friend but he can’t be my boyfriend. I know he’s terrified to have to go back to his country but he doesn’t talk about it.

We talked for hours in his car and I couldn’t let go of him, but he seemed set in his decision and kept reminding me that it’s over and that his life is falling apart too bad and he can’t be the boyfriend I want. But I have been there for him every day and I’d want him any way, even if he’s stressed.

I’m not going to get into specifics but we ended up having emotional sex in the back of his car. Just one thing led to another. While we were sitting there after that he was holding my hand and finally fully opening up about things going on, but kept specifying that he can’t do a relationship anymore. When he got home, he called me to make sure I remembered to take my medicine, then called again an hour later to make sure I had fallen asleep okay. I missed that call.

I know things are out of my control but I wish he could keep me but I know life isn’t a movie. I keep feeling like I didn’t do enough for him to love me enough to keep me by his side through thick and thin and have a shoulder to lean on. When I told him that he said maybe that would be the case to stay with me through it if he was a US citizen with his families support, but he’s not the average person and there is so much he has to figure out, in his words. He really has no one. His dad’s gone and his mom’s on the other side of the world. Now he’s not texting me at all and every time I’ve said something light like sent a meme, he says that we need space so I stopped texting him at all. We still have each other on social media an he still hasn’t removed his location yet (which I’m not even checking). I’m scared that my absence means nothing while I miss him more than anything. And my intrusive thoughts are telling me that if he really loved me he’d keep me no matter want. But I know reality isn’t black and white.

I’ve been discarded overnight by an abusive avoidant years ago and somehow this is hurting worse.

I feel so selfish and I don’t know what to do.

I just want be enough for anyone to stay and I don’t want anyone but him.

He was the only guy that treated me right. 3 days ago he broke up with me. He drove out to see me to explain himself when I was sobbing on the phone, spent hours with me and took me out to dinner and paid for it (which I offered to split but he said no) even though I couldn’t stomach a bite.

I know he was starting to get distant and his circumstances were getting worse. He lost his dad, lost his scholarship because of grades dropping because of it when he’s supposed to graduate this year, just got a medical debt notice, and might be deported back to his country at war if he doesn’t fix everything with internships and getting a good job. He said everything is too much and he can’t handle a relationship anymore but I treated him the best out of any girlfriend he had, kept saying I’m beautiful and that he still feels things, and that he’d still fall for me in another universe but he’s too overwhelmed. He said he’d stay in my life and spend my birthday with me as a friend but he can’t be my boyfriend. I know he’s terrified to have to go back to his country but he doesn’t talk about it.

We talked for hours in his car and I couldn’t let go of him, but he seemed set in his decision and kept reminding me that it’s over and that his life is falling apart too bad and he can’t be the boyfriend I want. But I have been there for him every day and I’d want him any way, even if he’s stressed.

I’m not going to get into specifics but we ended up having emotional sex in the back of his car. Just one thing led to another. While we were sitting there after that he was holding my hand and finally fully opening up about things going on, but kept specifying that he can’t do a relationship anymore. When he got home, he called me to make sure I remembered to take my medicine, then called again an hour later to make sure I had fallen asleep okay. I missed that call.

I know things are out of my control but I wish he could keep me but I know life isn’t a movie. I keep feeling like I didn’t do enough for him to love me enough to keep me by his side through thick and thin and have a shoulder to lean on. When I told him that he said maybe that would be the case to stay with me through it if he was a US citizen with his families support, but he’s not the average person and there is so much he has to figure out, in his words. He really has no one. His dad’s gone and his mom’s on the other side of the world. Now he’s not texting me at all and every time I’ve said something light like sent a meme, he says that we need space so I stopped texting him at all. We still have each other on social media an he still hasn’t removed his location yet (which I’m not even checking). I’m scared that my absence means nothing while I miss him more than anything. And my intrusive thoughts are telling me that if he really loved me he’d keep me no matter want. But I know reality isn’t black and white.

I’ve been discarded overnight by an abusive avoidant years ago and somehow this is hurting worse.

I feel so selfish and I don’t know what to do.

I just want be enough for anyone to stay and I don’t want anyone but him.

Growing up my ndad screamed and belittled me almost every single day or doing just about anything you can imagine. Even holding the mop the way he didn’t like it. He also always denied my diagnosed autism and would scream at me or showing any sort of behaviors of it, including even just flapping my hands as a child.

Now I’m 21 and no matter how hard I try, how much therapy I get, I can’t stop driving my boyfriend insane with apologizing constantly and always assuming I did something wrong when something’s off and emotionally asking him what I did. I know it’s unhealthy and I’m trying but god it sucks how these narcissists can just fuck up your whole emotional development and be fine themselves.

Hi, I’m kind of freaking out and I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not.

My boyfriend recently got a call about supposedly owing around $2,000 in medical debt, which already stressed him out a lot. Then literally the next day, he got another call saying he owes a few hundred dollars to a past landlord from like a year ago that he didn’t even know about.

What’s weird to me is that I think all of this has been happening over the phone. Like he’s only mentioned they they’ve called him, he answers, and then they say they’ll call back, etc. I don’t know if he’s gotten anything official in writing yet (or if he has he hasn’t mentioned it). It just feels really sudden that multiple debts are popping up back-to-back like this.

He’s also an immigrant from a 3rd world country and hasn’t been here (USA) as long as I have, came here for college not that long ago, and I was born here, so I’m worried he might not know how this stuff normally works here. I’ve tried to gently bring up that he should talk to me about it and I’m here for him, but he’s hyper independent keeps saying he can handle it himself and doesn’t want to involve anyone else. I think a lot of the time he thinks I don’t know what I’m talking about so I don’t want to make him mad by trying to bring the scam part up.

I don’t want to overstep or seem controlling, but I also don’t want him to get taken advantage of if this isn’t legit. The timing and how it’s happening just feels off to me.

Does this sound like a known scam pattern? Or could this actually be normal for debt collectors? And is there anything I can say to him that won’t make him shut down but still gets him to be cautious?

I’d really appreciate any advice.

I’m trying to figure out if this was a form of SA even though it was small

Hi, this has been on my mind a lately and I haven’t been able to tell my friends because of the fear of it getting back to this man, who has mutual friends, but I trust you guys enough to talk about it here.

Back in November I met a guy at a college Halloween party and we instantly hit it off. We exchanged info and were basically talking non stop for the days following. He was really sweet and seemed to be really into me, and at that point it had been almost 2 years since my last relationship and I was so touch starved and ready to try again.

We eventually met up one night to just go around and chill, I took him to my work to get free ice cream but he ended up saying he didn’t want any once we were there, so then we went around target for a bit and I talked about myself and showed him things I liked and asked him about himself, but he didn’t really want to be in there for long. We went back to his car and just talked for a long time.

During that time he’d leaned across and kissed me, which I was excited about since it had been almost 2 years since I’d last kissed someone, so I kissed him back, but during that he’d reached over and starting groping and squeezing my breasts through my shirt, completely unprovoked. I’d pulled back and didn’t really know how to feel so I just awkwardly laughed it off and swatted his hand away. I really didn’t know how to react because I really wanted a boyfriend but I remember feeling a little uneasy from that. But we’d started talking again for awhile and he eventually kissed me again and the same thing happened.

After that and I was just wanting to talk more, he seemed to suddenly end the date early, speed to my house, and drop me off. After that he ghosted me completely and liked my best friend I was with at the party on hinge.

I hadn’t had a lot of experience with men at the time other than my ex (who was a story of its own) so I don’t know if this is just a normal thing, SA, or not at all and I’m just over thinking. The thing is I have a boyfriend now I’ve been dating since February, and we’re sexually active but he has never groped me like that in the very beginning or first kiss without asking like that date did. I am also diagnosed autistic and have trouble with social cues and signals so I feel like it’s my fault if I didn’t understand what he wanted.

I’m just curious of some thoughts on this or am I overreacting? When I posted this in other subs I was downvoted along with my comments and a man even told me I should have negotiated with him. How was I supposed to negotiate if he didn’t even ask first before grabbing my breast?

Hi, this has been on my mind a lately and I haven’t been able to tell my friends because of the fear of it getting back to this man, who has mutual friends, but I trust you guys enough to talk about it here.

Back in November I met a guy at a college Halloween party and we instantly hit it off. We exchanged info and were basically talking non stop for the days following. He was really sweet and seemed to be really into me, and at that point it had been almost 2 years since my last relationship and I was so touch starved and ready to try again.

We eventually met up one night to just go around and chill, I took him to my work to get free ice cream but he ended up saying he didn’t want any once we were there, so then we went around target for a bit and I talked about myself and showed him things I liked and asked him about himself, but he didn’t really want to be in there for long. We went back to his car and just talked for a long time.

During that time he’d leaned across and kissed me, which I was excited about since it had been almost 2 years since I’d last kissed someone, so I kissed him back, but during that he’d reached over and starting groping and squeezing my breasts through my shirt, completely unprovoked. I’d pulled back and didn’t really know how to feel so I just awkwardly laughed it off and playfully swatted his hand away. I really didn’t know how to react because I really wanted a boyfriend but I remember feeling a little uneasy from that. But we’d started talking again for awhile and he eventually kissed me again and the same thing happened.

After that and I was just wanting to talk more, he seemed to suddenly end the date early, speed to my house, and drop me off. After that he ghosted me completely and liked my best friend I was with at the party on hinge.

I hadn’t had a lot of experience with men at the time other than my ex (who was a story of its own) so I don’t know if this is just a normal thing, SA, or not at all and I’m just over thinking. The thing is I have a boyfriend now I’ve been dating since February, and we’re sexually active but he has never groped me like that in the very beginning or first kiss without asking like that date did.

I’m just curious of some thoughts on this or am I overreacting.