u/hellacure

Grassers Anwälte glaubten einem angeblichen IT Experten, der ihnen brisante Mails präsentierte, mit denen sich beweisen lassen sollte, dass Richterin Marion Hohenecker voreingenommen und womöglich korrupt gewesen sei. „Blöderweise“ stellte sich heraus, dass die Mails offenbar gefälscht waren und der mutmaßliche Fälscher sie teilweise in der AK Bibliothek selbst zusammengebastelt haben soll.

Der angebliche IT Experte behauptet, Grassers Anwalt Norbert Wess habe ihm insgesamt rund EUR 22.500 in bar gegeben, was Wess bestreitet. Das Verfahren gegen die Richterin wurde eingestellt.

Zur Erinnerung: Norbert Wess ist auch der Anwalt von Rene Benko, der wegen exakt EUR 300.000 zu zwei Jahren Haft verurteilt wurde. Bei EUR 300.000,01, also einem einzigen Cent mehr, wäre bereits der deutlich höhere Strafrahmen von bis zu zehn Jahren im Raum gestanden…

I wish I could tell the whole story but I am scared that there is a chance one of my parents finding out it's me but I truly need to talk to someone about this. First I would like to say I found out about my parents poly lifestyle when I was in middle school and I found out in not so great terms (I thought one of my parents was cheating) after I had a conversation about it with the parent I still felt upset by it, at the time I didn't want them to have that kind of relationship but my parent was like "I am gonna do what I am gonna do and you can't control that". And I don't know why it bugs me that this is their lifestyle, my parents say they don't love eachother or me and my siblings less which I never doubted.

Heres the thing I don't frown upon poly people like it's not my business and also how lovely is it to have so much love in your life right, but for some reason it bugs me that my parents have this lifestyle. I don't want to be bothered by it though and I don't know how to get over what ever it is that I am feeling about this. I am an adult now still living with them and I get upset when my parents are always out with their partners like they spend nights with there partners and I am home taking care of my little siblings. Also for a awhile I was the only sibling who knew.

I think my parents think im supportive(?) / ok with it because they are always telling me about their partners or if they are taking to someone new. (My parents date other people separately, to my knowledge if that means anything) like they are more open about it now that I am older. And hearing about it bugs me like I don't know or have met their partners so I don't really want to know about these people that they see separately. One of my parents tried to introduce me to one of them one time because they were like "I want two important people in my life to meet eachother" which I understand but also I wasn't having it, thankfully my parent thought I didn't want to meet their partner because I am shy.

I know this isn't something I can change on their end, I gave up on that early on when I was in middle school, I was semi accepting through some years but now that they are more open about it with me I realize I still have some sort of upsetting thoughts about it. I love my parents and I want to not be bothered by their relationship but for some reason I can't get over this hurdle. I came here hoping to either get other kids of poly relationships insight or maybe poly parents as well. I am just hoping that maybe someone else's wisdom can help me change perspective so that I am not bothered by it anymore.

edit: my apologies for some unclear things, many of you have assumed that they talk to me about their sex lives, they don't. But this situation does make me think about them being with other people and I feel discomfort when I realize that that is potentially what is happening when my parents are gone for the night. Also I was hoping for advice or insight on how to feel comfortable and get over feeling upset by their lifestyle. Again I don't veiw my parents or poly relationships as icky or bad and wrong or un-ethical. I've realized though that some part that might be bugging me is the fact that I do watch my siblings a lot but I don't really pay rent (I am unemployed right now, my parents have asked me to pay rent with my financial aid money on occasion) But I don't think that watching my siblings is the only thing that is upsetting me. I know this must be frustrating to read because maybe I am not explaining my thoughts and feelings well but I hope you know I am frustrated with myself more than anything. I am so confused and upset because I don't know why I am bothered and why I can't just not be.

semi update: I have read every​ comment so far, thank you for everyone's thoughts it has helped in some ways and also not in others. I was going to go into what it's been like trying to establish boundaries with my parents and try to explain that dynamic and also how I have been treated now that I am an adult but I don't have the time to do that this moment as well as a new situation has came up and there is something seriously wrong with me because why am I upset about this when I don't want to be? My parents are having a get together tomorrow where both of their partners as well as some friends are coming over,(first time that their partners were supposed to come over into our house ever) I was already nervous for that but I was probably going to stay in my room. I don't like people coming over to our house because I am shy and not used to that, we like never have anybody over. (some one in the comments asked about if I had anxiety and yeah I get anxiety overall and socially as well. I'm aware that I get nervous when it comes to sharing my feelings because the reactions I get not just from my parents but from other people in the past has made it hard to feel comfortable to talk about my feelings, I tend to just not say anything.)

Anyways I was semi prepared for tomorrow but it turns out today one of my parents and their partner are gonna be in the living room today and when they told me I still felt upset. honestly I thought after reading a bunch of comments and going to bed I thought I'd wake up and not feel this way anymore...I know that probably sounds crazy but I was hoping that was the case. I have mini errands today so my main problem is I don't want to come home and see my parent and their partner in the living room. If I didn't have to leave my room I wouldn't (someone else made a comment about if I am always home which yeah I am the one who is home the most). I know this is so stupid, being avoident, anxious and I feel arrogant, I hate feeling this way.

I feel llike either on my way out or back in I'll see my parents partner and I don't know what is going to happen. Things are moving a bit fast now that my older sibling knows. Their partners aren't apart of my family and it feels weird to think they will all be in my home. Their relationship has nothing to do with me but it's now starting to impact me more deeply. Again I'm just frustrated with myself, you would think I'd be over/used to it after I have known about this for like 7 or 8 years now.

update pt 2: One of my parents partners is here, I walked out of room saw them and quickly retreated (I wasn't comfortable in the outfit I was wearing and to be honest I tend to scurry to my room whenever someone comes over). My parent just knocked on my door and asked if I wanted to meet them and my parent was like "You are leaving for your errands soon so you like kinda need to knowledge them." My little siblings were snooping behind my parent which I am kinda thankful for it gave me a bit of a buffer...as im writing this out I am so disappointed in myself, I sound so childish and ridiculous geez. Anyways I said "I don't have to though" and my parent had a look on their face, I don't know how to describe it but it was definitely giving to me a "are you for real" or "what's wrong with you" kind of look and then my parent said something like think about it / its up to you. I am nervous to leave my room now but I have things I need to do in a timely manner. Geez I haven't felt this emotional in so long I have had to stop myself from crying like 3 times today and I even cried myself to sleep last night. I just feel like I am the only problem.

mini update: many of yall have suggested therapy, I have done therapy before but back then I didn't mention it. I liked therapy and have been wanting to go back because geez this is not my only problem that needs to be unpacked right now lol. For a quick fix my school does free therapy for 6 ish weeks at a time so I signed up for that and hopefully some sessions can help me sort some things out. I for sure want a therapist consistently though. I am beside myself, I cried in the shower, while getting ready and while driving to my errands, genuinely what is wrong with me I don't normally cry. When I left for my errands my parents partner was in the restroom I think or playing with my younger siblings, I'm not sure but I was able to leave. When I came back I was on the phone with a friend and I saw my parent and their partner on the couch, I made eye contact with the partner and just gave probably an awkward and curt smile, I stayed in my room (for a while, I didn't have a chance to eat before my parents partner came over and I was too nervous to go out to the kitchen while they were still in the livingroom.)

I have been seeing my parents being frowned upon in the comments and I just want to say it's my fault that I was too nervous to go out and get myself food, I need to just learn to be comfortable with this situation because theres nothing I can do about it, I want to be ok with it. Eventually my parent came in and said they were leaving and that I was the only one in the house, so I was able to get myself some food. I know this is pathetic and that I am acting cowardly and childish and even though I am aware I don't know how to gather courage and overcome these feelings. But again I signed up for therapy so maybe that can help me. Thank you again for all the comments, it truly has helped me realize some things.

Am Montag hat in Montreal ein weiterer Amokläufer ein Massaker verübt; sein Ziel war Aylo (die Muttergesellschaft, die die bekanntesten Erotik-Websites betreibt), und er hinterließ ein über 100-seitiges Manifest, in dem er seinen Frauenhass zusammenfasste und begründete. Drei Menschen starben, ein Zivilist und ein Polizist und der Attentäter selbst, der bei dem Schusswechsel von der Polizei getötet wurde.

Ich hab das Manifest gelesen und das Schlimmste ist: ich denke, die meisten Männer (auch außerhalb Incel/Redpill) fühlen sich davon angesprochen und würden diese Forderungen befürworten. Mir macht das ehrlich gesagt ziemlich Angst.

Wie seht ihr das? Macht euch diese Entwicklung auch Sorgen?

Someone saw my original post read on TikTok and asked for an update. (If anyone can share the TikTok with me, I’m super curious).

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/s/7MMwoL8cJw

Unfortunately, things did not go so well for me and my husband. Poly continued to be challenging for us. Finding a long-term partner was tough for husband. Women generally wanted more than he could provide.

There were good times and fun experiences. We both learned a lot.
The nail in the coffin was when my relationship ended with my boyfriend. After being together a year, I was very sad when we broke up - and that really bothered my husband. He was hurt that I loved the other guy. Things went downhill quickly as he was not thrilled with how things continued to go for him.

It was messy and hard, and my hubby and I ended up separating about 8 months after I made this original post.

I’ve now been remarried for four years with a monogamous partner. Another long-term poly friend of mine also ended up divorcing over similar circumstances and is now remarried and monogamous. My ex is also remarried happily and is in a monogamous relationship.

Non-monogamy taught me a lot and it helped me become a good communicator. In the end I think everything worked out for the best. I’ve very satisfied and happy in my current relationship dynamic. If my husband and I divorced, I would still be open to non-monogamy. I believe it is possible to do this well as long as everyone works hard to communicate. My guess is maybe it’s harder for people who’ve been monogamous and married a long time to open up than to go into a relationship that’s open from the start. That was my experience anyway.

Best of luck to all of y’all. ❤️

So first I’m going to apologize for how long winded this is about to be. Before I get into the issue itself, there are three pieces of important information I feel like I should let anyone know before reading.

First: my wife has been seeing another person for a few months. And so far I’ve REALLY liked him and encouraged them to continue. He’s even become a friend of mine throughout.

Second: the way our dynamic works is that each other comes first. Period. We only engage in FWB dynamics with other people. It’s always worked well for us.

Third: Rule number one has ALWAYS BEEN that if one spouse becomes uncomfortable with the other’s extra partner, they have the right to say “I would like you to stop seeing them.” No ifs ands or buts. We call it “the big red button rule”

So now, for the issue. Lately I’ve been HEAVILY struggling with my severe depression disorder. I am treated for it, but depression just DOES that sometimes. Anyone who suffers from it knows what I mean. And during this, I’ve noticed that my wife will make plans with her other partner on the fly, especially on days when I’m doing very poorly. I know I’m not good company on those days so mostly I get it.

However, unrelated, I also noticed that for the last two months, there has been ZERO physical intimacy between she and I. Even when I feel good enough to try, there’s always some excuse. Usually that she’s just tired. Not a huge deal in and of itself. But…a few nights ago, she made plans with her other guy. I went to bed early with our daughter so she brought him into the house and hung out with him downstairs. I woke up needing a glass of water at about 2am and when I opened the door, I heard them doing things. Now…normally that wouldn’t bother me. Wouldn’t be the first time. But that day had been BAD depression wise.

I’m ashamed to say that I felt a HUGE surge of hurt and jealousy. I began crying. Not just crying but absolutely sobbing into my pillow. I can’t say why, but it HURT. Especially after so many of my own advances had been turned down for such a long time.

The next day, I told her about it, apologized, and politely asked her if she could hold off on seeing him for two to three weeks to focus on us, and let me see about having my depression medication adjusted. See if we could have a little reset.

To my absolute astonishment, she said “no. If I tell him you want us to put it on hold, he’ll get scared he’s causing problems and call the whole thing off.”

My jaw dropped. I asked if she couldn’t just say she was busy for a little while, or just SAY she wanted to stay home with the family if that made her uncomfortable. She responded that she wouldn’t lie about it, so there was no way to do what I asked.

My next question was “okay. So if I pushed the big red button right now, and I’m not, but hypothetically, you’d end the whole thing altogether?”

She got ANGRY. Her response was “you’ve had months to call it off and you’ve liked him up to now, but SUDDENLY I’m not allowed to see him anymore because I won’t put it on hold?”

Of course I explained that this was not what I said or asked for. I had posed a hypothetical. There was a little back and forth. But I ultimately told her not to worry about a pause or a break with him, and just proceed as normal. Surely I was just emotional and had no right to ask.

She also said later that she WOULD stop doing physical things with him if I asked. But absolutely WOULD NOT stop hanging out with him, because they had become really good friends. Red button or not. So…in my mind, I’d rather let her keep doing what she’s doing so that at least I know for SURE what’s going on and don’t have to worry or have any reason to distrust or be suspicious.

Anyway. Now, I have clearly shut down my involvement with the other guy. Every time she mentions him, my stomach twists. Every time she sees him, I cry until she gets home. I have refused to hang out with him entirely when I’m invited along or asked to join them physically. None of this is HIS fault, but I kind of hate the very mention of his name now. (Which is awkward since we have the same first name 🥲)

What do I do here? Does anyone have any ideas or been through this kind of thing before? I don’t want to take a friend from her, but also, the disregard for our number one rule is JARRING. Especially since this has never happened with any of our other partners before.

First off, thank you to everyone who responded in the previous thread. It was a terrifying and painful time, but I opened that thread often and reread the responses and drew a lot of strength from them. Truly, I am so incredibly grateful for the support and kindness. I desperately needed it.

Second, I wanted to clear up a misconception - my husband did not have an affair. We talked about opening up our marriage before any other partners were had. He is not perfect but for the most part he's an honest man (and I've had access to his location for years). Lack of sex was the main reason but there was no infidelity.

Ok so now for the actual update:

On Monday, husband texted our group chat asking if anyone could watch the kids so he could go out with friends. He texted me asking for the babysitters number. That did not go over well with anyone.

Tuesday he actually visited. He said he was going through his own mental health crisis and that his girlfriend has now become his primary (and only) emotional support. He said going to her place was akin to putting on his own oxygen mask first. He also said that since I texted the girlfriend with my frustration, she had not spoken to him, and asked that I allow them to speak again, which I had NEVER disallowed and would never - I was just trying to say how frustrated I was with everything. He apologized for not being there, and agreed that we would need to make different arrangements regarding our home and future, and we mutually agreed that we did not have to figure all that out in that moment.

Still, I wont lie. This hurts. It hurts so bad. The physical illness, the fear, knowing that I am no longer the person he goes to when things are hard, and that I cannot depend on him in a terrifying medical crisis. I am grateful for my supports but scared about what happens when they leave. I have some casual partners and I'm scared they will think I want a replacement husband which is absolutely untrue (at this point I never want to be married again holy fuck has this not turned out the way I hoped) but I'm scared they'll not want to deal with this disturbance in the force and will leave me too.

I'm being discharged today and I don't know what I'm going home to. I miss my babies but I am just scared. I'm a strong personal overall, I can handle my shit, but knowing even the possibility of having a soft place to land has been removed is hard. I will be ok. I just wish I could fast forward to that point.

I never thought I'd be posting something like this, but I'm completely stuck.

My wife recently told me she wants to be polyamorous. To be clear, this wasn't something we discussed before marriage, and it definitely wasn't part of the life I thought we were building together.

We've been married for over a decade, have kids together, a home, a life, routines, memories—the whole package. I always believed we were in a committed monogamous relationship. Now she's telling me she still loves me, wants to stay married, wants us to keep raising our kids together, but also wants the freedom to pursue other relationships.

I've tried to keep an open mind. I've read articles, watched videos, and talked to a therapist. The problem is that deep down, I don't think I want this. Every time I imagine her with someone else, I feel sick. I don't judge people who are poly. I just don't think I am.

The reason I'm stuck is because divorce feels like stepping off a cliff.

Before we got married, we signed a prenup. At the time, I was young and in love and didn't think much about it. Looking at it now, if we divorce, she comes out way ahead financially. I would likely lose the home, take a major hit to my standard of living, and probably have to start over from scratch. Meanwhile, she would be largely unaffected financially.

Then there are the kids. They're my entire world. The thought of seeing them only part of the time absolutely destroys me. Even if I got a fair custody arrangement, I'd still be missing half their lives.

So my choices seem to be:

1. Stay married and try to accept a relationship structure that goes against everything I want.
2. Get divorced, lose a huge amount financially, potentially lose daily access to my kids, and rebuild my life from the ground up.

Some friends tell me to leave because "self-respect matters." Others tell me to stay because people make compromises in marriage and maybe I'd adjust over time.

What I can't figure out is whether staying would be a sacrifice for my family or a betrayal of myself.

Has anyone been in a situation where your spouse wanted to open the marriage and you didn't? Did you stay? Did you leave? Do you regret your choice?

I'm looking for honest perspectives because right now I feel trapped no matter which path I choose.

Me and my partner are currently not having sex due to issues we've had in our marriage. This is something we have spoken about in detail and are working positively to get through and fix. We didnt become open to try and fix this, issues came after.

We've been open for about a year and a half and at the moment she has feelings for someone and is with them now. I havent heard from her all day and I cant help feeling so shit about her being with them.

Im not even sure what im looking for in this post, I just feel so shit knowing how much she desires that person and having all the sex when I want that with her so badly.