u/hocuspocuswrench

Hit me up, if anyone's available as I'm starting from scratch. Come with introductions pls!

I would really appreciate some perspective from people already working in this field.

Anyone can help me? I hate using the web version

Anyone can help me? I hate using the web version

Honestly, I don’t feel good about my life at all. I constantly carry this heaviness in my heart, and I can’t even explain where it comes from. I keep trying to ignore whatever I’m feeling, pretending it’ll eventually go away, but it never really does.

I don’t know. I have this crippling hatred toward myself, and some days I genuinely don’t even want to wake up. Either I go completely numb, or I feel everything way too deeply there’s never really an in-between.

I do have good people around me, and I’m grateful for them, but somehow, it still feels like I’m the only one constantly holding everything together and babysitting everyone else while quietly falling apart myself.

I don't even know what will bring me happiness, it's like I'm running away from everything and everyone and thinking why I've no one.

Does anyone else feel like the people who love the hardest are often the ones who end up carrying the most heartbreak? Sometimes it feels like the kindest people are always teaching others how to be loved, only to watch those same people become better partners for someone else.

The ones who communicate. The ones who stay. The ones who forgive too much, understand too much, and keep giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Meanwhile, the people who breadcrumb, disappear, play games, avoid vulnerability, or only show up when it's convenient somehow seem to leave with fewer scars.

I know that's not always reality. I know there are wonderful relationships and emotionally healthy people out there.But when you've been hurt enough times, it starts to feel like sincerity is a disadvantage. Like having a soft heart in a world that celebrates emotional detachment is its own kind of curse.Where are all the good men who aren't afraid of commitment? Where are all the kind women who are tired of being taken for granted? Sometimes I wonder if they're all out there somewhere quietly healing, quietly hoping, quietly questioning whether people like them even exist anymore.

Maybe that's the tragedy. The people searching for emotional safety are often hiding behind walls built by people who never valued it in the first place. And maybe that's why they keep missing each other.

There is a version of me that everyone gets to meet.

She's composed. She laughs at the right moments. She keeps conversations light. She knows how to disappear behind wit, curiosity, and carefully chosen words. She lets people think they're getting close, when really they're only tracing the outline of someone who has spent years perfecting the art of being unreadable.

And then, every so often, someone notices.

Someone asks the question I wasn't prepared for. Someone lingers a little longer than everyone else. Someone looks at me in a way that says, I think there's more to you than you're letting me see.

That's when something inside me starts sounding the alarm.

Run.

It's strange, isn't it? To spend your whole life aching for emotional safety, only to flee the moment it begins to feel possible.

I long to be known more than I long to be admired.

I want the kind of intimacy where silence doesn't need to be filled, where I don't have to edit myself into someone easier to love, where my softness isn't something I have to apologize for.

Yet every time someone gets close enough to touch the parts of me I've hidden for years, I become convinced they'll eventually leave anyway. So I leave first. I retreat behind walls I've mistaken for home. I confuse isolation with control, because abandonment somehow hurts less when I orchestrate it myself.

It's a lonely way to survive.

Sometimes I wonder how many beautiful connections I've buried with my own frightened hands.

And then I look around at people my age.

Everything feels so fast. So visual. So curated.

It feels like we're all trying to become desirable before we become knowable. Everyone is searching for the next beautiful face, the next perfect body, the next rush of chemistry. It makes me wonder if quiet souls even have a place anymore.

Where do people go who crave conversations that last until sunrise? Who want tenderness instead of performance? Who fall in love with someone's mind before their reflection?

I don't think my heart was built for a world that rewards appearances more than authenticity.

I don't want to be someone's most attractive option.

I want to be the place they feel safe enough to stop pretending.

Maybe that's why this hurts so much.

Because beneath all my running, all my walls, all my carefully rehearsed indifference, there is still a small part of me that believes love isn't supposed to feel like proving your worth.

It's supposed to feel like coming home.

I just wish I knew how to stop running every time I catch sight of the front door.

Lately I've been questioning everything.

I have standards for the kind of person I want someone emotionally mature, kind, self-aware, someone who communicates honestly and actually wants to build something real. But then I look at myself and wonder... am I ever going to be good enough to attract someone like that?

Sometimes I worry that I'm asking for too much while not being enough myself.

I've spent so much of my life feeling disconnected from people that I've started wondering if there's something fundamentally different about me. I've even wondered if I might be autistic, because relationships and social cues seem to come so naturally to everyone else while I feel like I'm learning a language everyone else grew up speaking.

I don't know if that's true or if I'm just socially inexperienced, but the thought scares me.

I also love too much. I get attached easily. I care deeply. I seem to attract emotionally immature or unavailable people, and every time it happens, I end up questioning my looks, my personality, and whether I'm simply not meant to experience the kind of love I dream about.

I'm terrified that I'll spend years waiting for someone who meets my standards, only to realize that nobody like that would ever choose me.

Has anyone else ever felt this way? Did it get better? Did you eventually find someone, or did you first have to change the way you saw yourself?

Wdym the place where I live I don't get my kind of ppl and even if i do find them on internet either I get catfished or abandoned 😭⁉️

This is getting outta hand, I don't think this can go any longer than a year maybe? Before I go haywire?

ITS LIKE IM CURSED OR SMTHG I NEVER EVER GET PPL WHO ARE LIKE ME, ILL NEVER FIND MY CLAN I WILL END UP ALONE LIKE A LOSER WITH A CAT MAYBE?

I pretty much to nothing except bingewatching and bed rotting, and maybe staring at the ceiling whilst having an existential crisis perhaps?

I'm looking for friends who I can daily chat and gossip about random things, and no I'm strictly speaking, if u are coming into my dms with the intention of ghosting me or just for a one time chat, I'll put a curse on your entire generation (I'm kidding maybe?)

Also im really introverted and reserved, I might not be the same playful person irl which I'm on text. So hit me up, if u are looking for your people too!

Feeling really depressed and alone, I just want someone to he a listener for once

I've been the quiet, reserved and not really impressive girl since my childhood and for a matter of fact I wanted to change the things as they are.

Over the weeks, I tried getting out of my shell, talking with multiple people but turns out I kept blurring out things unknowingly I shouldn't have. And it ruined my friendship w these two people.

I don't think im ever gonna try talking to people anymore, the weird girl allegations are gonna be lying there till I'm rested in my grave. Maybe I'm autistic or smthg, I'm not made for this world, I hope atleast I die with money and cats.

Never been anyone's first crush, lover, ex or any such thing. Never chosen, never cherished, never even liked. I don't have a special bond w anyone who I can call mine, everything is js detached for me, everything

I opened up to him abt my scars and childhood trauma and he did what I expected every man to do, that's why I never opened up to em. Anyway, he ghosted me, and idk I feel really sad. I was on cloud nine a day before all this. Should've stayed emotionally unavailable to these men only, haha what a joke I'm

I'm saying this cus all the experiences I've had with guys, they always turned out to be creepy or many expecting more from the relationship. I'm really depressed cus ive not had one single good friendship with guys.

Anyone here with big sis advice? I low-key need an elder sister guidance here.

I'm 19f, from India. In expect y'all to say ur age and country before texting me. And u gotta have discord.

Hey everyone, I'm a 19F who's spent about half of my university life struggling with depression and, honestly, doing almost nothing. Recently, though, I've been trying to get back on track, focus on my studies, and return to the active routine I had before everything fell apart two years ago.

Could anyone guide me on the career path for becoming a data analyst? I'd really appreciate any advice on where to start, what skills to learn, and what the typical career trajectory looks like.

I js posted a question in a sub asking, how do ppl know what exactly they want in a relationship and got downvoted and heavily hated😭 I was js being genuine dawg I really wanted the answers.

What's wrong w the ppl, the creeps are lurking with utmost freedom whole these things are getting banned and downvoted?

This is a genuine question tho, I'm really confused how do some ppl know what they want in a relationship and the sexual part. Like ppl have their preferences and tastes, and they have utmost clarity abt what they don't want specifically.

It's really confusing for me cus I never know what I want. Also when it comes to dating do y'all js get w other ppl because u wanna experience dating and sex life or is it cus u actually found your soul mate?

Ppl in multiple relationships, are u guys okay with ur trial and error relationships? Do soulmates exist? How do u know who u want? How actually does one get into a relationship lol?