u/idonotlikethisrock

chat please I'm desperate 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏

A year ago I prayed to Allah to let me attend one of the best universities and alhamdulillah I got in and I finished my year there. During that whole year, I just felt so... idk.

My parents kept telling me that right after college, I won't be able to leave until I pay them back every penny. It would've costed me $200k if I stayed. I realized that I don't want to live with my parents after graduation and I did not want to be indebted to them. So I transfered because I wouldn't have to pay them back if I attended the transfer school because tuition is so cheap.

My highschool invited me to a graduate panel. I feel like a failure. I feel like a fraud. I was valedictorian. I attended one of the best universities in America and I left it. My transfer school is not bad by any means. Im on track to graduate a year early, and it's a solid school. It's highly respected in econ, houses one of the best think tanks in the world but it's just the fact that it's looked down upon in my city because everyone goes there if they can't attend a better school.

I can't go up and speak about success because I'm not successful. I didn't get any internships. I left a school that thousands of people would do anything to be in. I just...idk. I feel like I failed everyone and that I'm not worthy enough.

I'm aware this is an ego issue. I know I should be grateful. But I can't help but feel like I'm a failure. Everyone is disappointed in me for leaving and for not being successful enough. Im not good in anything. Not in education, not in deen, not in anything.

I haven't prayed properly in a year and a half. I can't ask Allah to make everything better. I feel unworthy. I don't put any effort and it would be embarrassing to ask. It's like if I slack off in a class I can't ask the professor for a better grade because I don't deserve it.

I just want to crawl inside a hole and never get out. Im an embarrassment.

im kinda leaning towards strazzeri's honors section because there's only 6 seats. I feel like the prof could help more if there's only 6 people but idk.

title. Transfer BS Econ if it matters. I just need a class that won't tank my GPA and is relatively easy. My next semester is HORRENDOUS so I need a class that won't add too much stress.

I recently just saw a video of a niqabi woman saying that while she was eating out, a group of teenage boys started throwing food at her and saying allahuakbar and laughing. No one came to help her. Not even the Muslim men.

I then see a video of a Muslim man saying that Muslim women are not entitled to their protection.

HUH?

It's not just online either. I knew a guy who basically said that any bare minimum respect towards a woman is considered princess treatment and for his wife only. Yeah, holding the door open for a woman or letting a woman get off the elevator first is princess treatment.

I mean, what happened? I look at my dad (crazy devout mind you), and he isn't like this. He holds the door open for any woman. When he sees a woman is uncomfortable, he always asks to make sure she's okay. When I was still in highschool, me and my bsf were working an event and it was 9:30 pm. Her sister was running late and it would've been just my bsf and a security guard if I left. My dad refused to leave. He waited for her sister, walked her to the car, and made me call my bsf later to make sure she got home.

He didn't do that because my bsf isn't his mahram. He did it because he knew that it was his responsibility, as a man, to make sure a young girl got home safely at night.

And now you have men saying "Muslim women aren't entitled to our protection unless they're our mahram." Meanwhile, the prophet and his sahaba drove out banu quynuqa from Madina because they disrespected a woman.

If your sense of justice and your "protection" is strictly limited to your own household, you aren’t following the Sunnah, you’re just being tribal.

If you can watch any woman get harassed and think "not my mahram, not my problem" then may Allah help you, because you've fundamentally missed the point of what it means to be a qawwam.

incoming transfer.

I regret the transfer. but FUCK IT WE BALL 🗣️🔥🔥🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥