u/moons_echo

I don’t know who I am. I don’t know what my gender is. I don’t know if I’m attracted to people, and beyond that, to whom. I don’t even know if I’m alone in my head.

I don’t know who my friends are (as people). I don’t know who my family is. I don’t know what I like and dislike or what I like to do for fun. I don’t know if there’s something wrong with my head, or if I’m making it all up in a mad scramble for answers.

I don’t know what I want out of this life. I don’t know if I want to be here, even though I swear to myself on a daily basis that I don’t. I don’t know why I keep failing over and over and over again and why I can’t give a crap about anything.

I don’t know why when there’s something I really want to do, that I never do it. I don’t know why I can’t just shut up. I don’t know why I don’t know anything. I don’t know why I’m so reliant on external validation.

I don’t know why I write so many goddamn Reddit posts and never post them. I don’t know why I post as much as I do in the first place. I don’t know why people bother to be kind to me.

Does anyone know? Can anyone give me something to lean on better than “it will get better” or “do some self-reflection”? Please. I can’t stand it. This is hell.

A self-created hell.

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Edit (wrote this about 15mins later): I can’t handle the circles and circles and circles nothing makes sense just make it all end please. Why with the circles?? Why doesn’t anything make sense?? I don’t even believe anything is real half the time. Me myself and I, our little trio. The world is fake and so am I.

Hey y’all! I am a trans nonbinary individual who has recently been questioning whether they may have a place within the alterhuman/otherkin community.

I have done some research (although this is ongoing) and learned about species dysphoria. If anyone here has experienced both, is this at all comparable to gender dysphoria? How are you able to tell the difference, if at all?

From what I can tell, it seems to be very intense for some people. If people are willing, I’d love to hear your experiences with it.

I’ve been thinking about maybe getting a tail, but I hate fur farms with a burning passion and most yarn tails I’ve seen don’t seem realistic enough to me. Does anyone have any suggestions? Where do you get your tails?

I have a post that has 15k views that is apparently now second to my username “sub” post with less than 50 views? What’s up with this?

Hi! Questioning therian here.

I was wondering if it’s possible for factkins or character-based fictionkins psychologically originated? I’m no expert on this, but most of the kin in these categories seem to be characters/people discovered later in life by the individual, suggesting that the childhood conditioning/beliefs common to psychologically-based otherkin may not be present?

I believe everyone can identify any way they want, for whatever reason they want (so long as it isn’t hurting anyone). I don’t mean to offend anyone by asking this, so please feel free to correct me if I said anything wrong. I just want to learn. :)

Thanks!

Hi! Questioning therian here.

I was wondering if it’s possible for factkins or character-based fictionkins psychologically originated? I’m no expert on this, but most of the kin in these categories seem to be characters/people discovered later in life by the individual, suggesting that the childhood conditioning/beliefs common to psychologically-based otherkin may not be present?

I believe everyone can identify any way they want, for whatever reason they want (so long as it isn’t hurting anyone). I don’t mean to offend anyone by asking this, so please feel free to correct me if I said anything wrong. I just want to learn. :)

Thanks!

Hi! Questioning therian here.

I was wondering if it’s possible for factkins or character-based fictionkins psychologically originated? I’m no expert on this, but most of the kin in these categories seem to be characters/people discovered later in life by the individual, suggesting that the childhood conditioning/beliefs common to psychologically-based otherkin may not be present?

I believe everyone can identify any way they want, for whatever reason they want (so long as it isn’t hurting anyone). I don’t mean to offend anyone by asking this, so please feel free to correct me if I said anything wrong. I just want to learn. :)

Thanks!

I mean in park or forested area, not crowded places. That said, I have hit myself around friends before but I have a tic disorder so I don’t think they could tell it was sh.

Someone asked if it was inappropriate to cut on a voice and/or video call recently, and it made me think of this. I started overthinking it and now I’m worried. Not trying to glorify self harm or anything, just asking.

Edit: Thanks for the support, guys. There’s a reason I asked. Park was three blocks large with like 10 people in it. Thanks for the responses though, I’ll be more careful posting here in the future.

It’s summer now where I live. Summer is supposed to be freeing. I’m still in school, so I’m supposed to have a break. But due to unfortunate financial circumstances I have had to pick up a second job in my now-available free time. I don’t know what to do anymore. This is just all there is? For the rest of life? Get up, work, commute, feed yourself, sleep, repeat? One day after the next forever? What’s the point? To make some fucking trillionaire more rich?

I struggle with transitions so even though there are things I want to do in my infrequent free time I can’t do them because I spend all of that potential time mentally transitioning from wake to work to home to sleep and all over again.

What is this life? Why does it just keep repeating in its insane awful cycles day after day?

What do I do? Is there anything to do?

I have scars that have healed and are still visible, but the placement of them means no one ever sees it. My mind’s been trying to convince me to put scars in more visible places but given my environment that’s dangerous for me.

Please help talk me out of it. I’ve never been bullied before, so that’s not something I can realistically be afraid of. Please be kind. Thank you.

Asking this as a person who is actively trying to ask every person what their pronouns are, regardless of presentation. This question is not only about a “someone” who is trying to do this, though.

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A few different scenarios to consider:

1. This person knows everyone else’s pronouns except for yours (you may or may not know this). This version assumes this person has asked the other people’s pronouns in prior conversations, when you did not know the group of people.

2. This person assumes everyone else’s pronouns (newly meeting them or otherwise), and only bothers to ask for your pronouns.

3. In a broader context, where you are the sole individual this person has ever asked about another person’s pronouns. Bit of a silly one, but a potential interpretation of the title. Assuming you know this, in this scenario.

Asking this as a person who is actively trying to ask every person what their pronouns are, regardless of presentation. This question is not only about a “someone” who is trying to do this, though.

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A few different scenarios to consider:

1. This person knows everyone else’s pronouns except for yours (you may or may not know this). This version assumes this person has asked the other people’s pronouns in prior conversations, when you did not know the group of people.
2. This person assumes everyone else’s pronouns (newly meeting them or otherwise), and only bothers to ask for your pronouns.
3. In a broader context, where you are the sole individual this person has ever asked about another person’s pronouns. Bit of a silly one, but a potential interpretation of the title. Assuming you know this, in this scenario.

Ugh, this process is annoying. I have posted three times in this sub in the single month I’ve had my Reddit account, trying to learn and understand more about tic disorders. I have probably five or six drafted posts for this sub, sitting and waiting for me to finish them, so I can ask even more questions about how my experiences compare to that of others.

I wish I understood my tics. For the longest time I thought I experiences tic urges, but now I don’t think I do (or is that just a worry derived from overthinking?). I thought my tics started in my mid teens, but maybe they started when I was younger? I have echolalia (I think), but is it from undiagnosed autism/adhd or tourette’s, or even some random neurotypical quirk? My tics will near completely stop for months on end, then come back with a burning passion (which for me means no more than a few dozen tics a day usually). Somehow almost all my tics are complex (almost always both motor and vocal), but I’ve been stuck with a single repeating vocal tic for the past week. I have so so many “cameo tics” that come and go in a single day or even a single hour. My tics are inconsistent, in that the way they happen can vary quite a bit within the general “requirements” for the tic (makes it very easy to suppress volume on vocal tics).

It’s just so frustrating. I wish I had the answers to what the heck is going on with me (for my tics and so so much else). There’s so much I don’t know, but my doctors are useless and ignore all my requests for information (or at least laugh and ask why I would ever think to wonder).

Thanks for reading. Just a random vent and blerb of thoughts.

Hope you’re having a wonderful day <3

Not to be insensitive to those who are treatment resistant and are struggling with it. I’m sure it’s awful, this is just my experience.

I’m depressed and anxious (and probably other things, who knows). I’m on the lowest possible dose of my antidepressant, well below the minimum usually prescribed, according to my doctor, and it still works entirely too well.

I don’t want to “get better”. I don’t want things to change. I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember. My anxiety helps me, it keeps me organised, it keeps me from saying more than I should. When I’m on medication, I speak without thinking, I stop caring about everything, say things that hurt people because there’s nothing there to stop it. Every thought and boundary and sense of what is socially appropriate is gone. The concept of consequences forgotten.

To be happy is to be vulnerable to disappointment. Therefore, the only acceptable state is depression. Loneliness. Fear. Call it what you want. It’s the only place that’s safe.

To be clear, I know these thoughts are “wrong”. I know that it’s not what you’re supposed to experience, and to speak in absolutes about them is to project the incorrect perception of the world. I just struggle to see things any other way, although I understand the perspectives of other views.

I don’t know, this is just a vent post. It’s too late and my mind is chaos. Apologies if I offended anyone.

Very very excited about this.

I was listening to The Milk Carton by Elio Mei and suddenly I felt my snout, some fur, and paws and my mind wandered between this one and my kin’s. I leaned into it of course because it made me really happy (makes me happy just thinking about it), but it’s the first time it wasn’t 100% voluntary.

Still trying to figure out exactly what our species is (somewhere in the wolf/coywolf/coyote range, I think), but this shift helped alleviate some of the worry that we were not actually nonhuman (that’s been bothering us recently).

Thanks for reading. :)

Hi all!!

I’m looking for a gender related to confusion, mental disarray, chaos, or something with a similar vibe? Not exclusive to these terms, just looking for ideas.

Separate, but similar idea, I’m also looking for terms related to gender-based confusion/chaos as an identity.

Thanks for the help! <3

Any tips besides the usual “just do it” bullshit? I can’t stand just laying here all day anymore, but I don’t know what else to do…

Not sure if this is the right sub, but here I am. Please let me know if somewhere else is better suited. :)

Is there any way to care for existing hypertrophic scars so that they become flatter or less itchy (8-10 months old currently)? Having them fade faster? My flat scars of the same age are completely faded so wondering about that too.

What about preventing new ones from forming? Is there a reliable way to guess whether a scar will form as hypertrophic (I know it’s somewhat genetic but still)? Is there a way to help them heal so they’re less likely to be hypertrophic?

Thanks for the help!! Hope you’re doing okay <3