found a seller on depop selling a 10+ item wholesale of cutecore and jojifuku + tweencore clothes :p got it at 100$ markdown from an offer and got theese!!!
the stuff included in the pics i got were the dessert pattern dress, hello kitty shirt and the skirt i'm wearing with it + many more non pictured :33
i recently bought this ( granted, fake / copy ) mezzo piano cami, i waited forever to be able to buy it just for me to get the biggest size and it be WAY too small!! i was so upset, but remembered my body isn't the issue, it's just sizing from different countries!
soo, i thought it over and decided to use all the lace and ribbon i keep to do an adjustable corset lace up in the back! took me around ~ 3 1/2 ish hours over almost 3 days.
i'm deciding on if i should cut the original straps off entirely and replace the thin lace it came with, and hot pink straps, it would also allow me to make the fit more relaxed so it won't be so short. if you look closely in the front, the lace trim under the bust is different than on the straps - it also might match more if i replace the straps because the lace i have is a more knit style like the one already on the bust.
i love how it turned out already too, it fits very comfortably now and is super adorbs! ad a gay guy i'm dipping my toes into very colorful, fememinine clothing for the first time. and i'm not big on showing my arms or back but i didn't mind this, i love this shirt and knowing i made the back look super cool makes me feel confident when wearing it :)
found a pair of wedding sneakers at goodwill!! i've never seen a pair and didn't know what they were, so my first impression was "lace sneakers? i know i can make theese super cute!"
soo.. i ran to the walmart across the street, grabbed some rit dye and lace..
i knew i wanted to have pink ribbon laces and bows, but then remembered i had mezzo charms!? i was saving them for a good occasion.. and felt this was fitting!
my cinnamoroll bag is very special to me ( ≧∀≦)ノ i bought it secondhand, it is a bit dirty from taking it to school when i was younger (｡-ω-) - my schools floors were disguting and i regret it!!! it's kind of a nylon-ish material, similar to a seatbelt? if anyone knows how to get dirt out of it, i'd be very appreciative!!! ♡ ~
the chi chai monchan bento, it includes a fork + spoon ! my cinnamoroll wallet and keychains , sugarbunnies bag and hello kitty mirror + comb were all bought secondhand! ( thank you, depop..! )
strawberry pound cake and and the buttercream / birthday scent are a few of my fave bath and body works items! ( NOTHING tops birthday cake milk bar.. ) and cotton candy chapstick because it smells good and keeps my lips from being crusty.
the little digi cam was my bio moms (*･ω･) but i've given it better memories and a makeover! i took it with me when i saw megadeth and mudvayne :D
also comparison for how my bag looks compared to the rest of my room (*T^T) i litterally can't decide if i want pink or black everything!!!!
listing / seller described them as women's size 14, i wear 12-13 so i was like "great! theese will go with the shirts i bought." they were RIGHT at 40$ total with shipping tax, was super excited to get them..
the package got here today, i got it out of the mailbox and was like "huh, this package seems quite small?" then i opened it.. my bf looked at them and said "honey i could barely fit those" ( he's very tall snd slim )
but i was hardcore wanting theese jeans, so i tried to put them on anyways and couldn't get them past my thighs.... only to show them to my mom and she told me they were size 14 in kids??
i've messaged the seller and am trying to get a refund because they weren't described as kids jeans and didn't have a tape measure comparison like i included here 😓 i'm kinda scared i won't get one tho,,
tw for eating disorders , dysmorphia self harm too
yes i'm using all dave mustaine pics as reaction.. idc
so my dad and boyfreind urged me very heavily to go on birth control after my dad said he was going to involuntarialy put me on it ( i was almost 17 at the time ) and i chose the depo shot not knowing ANYTHING about what it was going to do to my body
for context im ftm and hated my old doctors office. they were very disrespectful towards me and didn't give a fuck about me being trans, would openly deadname me despite my preferred name on the paper being listed because i don't have it changed legally but am working on it
and just blatantly tell me i have to go in the womens restroom to do the piss test, and constant misgendering from the front desk people,
i asked the lady who was seeing me if i could get birth control, i didn't even know my options or anything because this was lowk forced on me but i knew the pills had estrogen, so i asked for an option with no hormones or estrogen so she told me about the depo and said it's all progesterone ( i didn't know what that was and she didn't tell me ) and then gave me the shot right after i asked
i've been on the shot since and am going to get on a copper iud because i genuinely can't fucking tske what it's done to my body
i'm 5'2 and all my life i've been very thin and lean, my max weight was 125 lbs and in the last 4 months my weight shot up to almost 160, i feel disgusting
my face is bigger, i have stretch marks all over my lower body and my stomach looks fucking terrible
i've felt so womanly. my hips have gotten so big to the point i went from an 8 to a 12 in womens pants, that's a huge step for me. every time i recieve any medical attention the treat me as a woman, i'm changing my doctors office and found a gyno that specifically works with ftm people and gender affirming - i'm going to see her on nov 7th so i can talk about the copper iud
one of my biggest fears was the gyno. the first time i got a speculum put in me i had to stop myself from screaming and crying, not from the pain but because i felt like i was being violated because theese people are being so fucking rude to me about me being trans and then want to poke my genitals??
i want to get sterilized so bad. i want it so bad. so fucking bad
i never want to have kids and neither does my bf, and truth is i don't want to be on birth control at all but my boyfreind doesent want me to get off it until he can get a vasectomy
i don't know when that's gonna be and i seriously can't take it anymore
i feel like i'm not me, i can't even look at old photos of myself from 4 months ago without feeling so desolate, my face was thin, my neck was too and i could take a pic and look gorgeous from any angle
no matter how i style my hair, what i wear, i always feel like i look too big. i've been avoiding eating sometimes because with the progesterone in the shot it increases appetite, i keep getting so hungry but i don't want to eat. my adoptive mom keeps telling me to eat when im hungry but sometimes i just can't bring myself to do it. every time i loose a couple pounds i end up gaining it back even if i'm consistent with my routine, every time i barely eat for a few days i go down a pound or so and it feels so much better. that tiny bit of progress feels so much better than seeing the number go up and up and up
my binder is even having a hard time fitting me. when i got my binder i weighed 137 and it was well fitted and now at almost 160 it's hanging on for dear life. all of the proportions of my body that define me as female keep getting bigger and more prominent, i just want the day i get my iud to come quicker, i want this poison out of my body and i fucking hate what it's made me into
idek know anymore i'm just going to suffer until i get T i guess
i've been thinking of hurting myself so much because of all theese things, i just want to stab myself as hard as i can in the spot my uterus sits to it'll puncture and they'll have to take it out, i just want to hurt myself in all the spots i feel need to be altered. i don't feel at home with myself like i did before the shot. i feel like a shell of who i once was bodily, i ised to have so much confidence in my body because in my eyes, i was perfect. i looked exactly how i wanted to and knew it would only get better with T
it's going to take months for my metabolism and weight to go back to normal after i stay off the shot. hopefully by christmas i'll look pretty for myself again
hihi! i'm just a guest here, i know nothing about katseye, but i had recently been asked to create a daniela rosette! :) i wanted to stop by and share my work here for all the real fans to see lol ♡
from the pic of her with the flashy nails she's holding in her face and some of her stage fits, i feel like her and the group are very glamorous! so i added rhinestone, the theme for this was pink amd teal colored so i tried to coordinate the pic of her with the ribbon :)
they make me feel very pretty :3 also very warm and smooth feeling, ( i have the silk ones! ) i got them secondhand because.. that price tag is insane in the store!!.. i always feel my best in theese when i'm about to go to sleep, freshly showered, and using the bath + body works strawberry pound cake lotion + birthday cake milk bar perfume. i smell like a cake. it's amazing, if you have theese scents you have to try it!!
but on a real note, i'd rather not pay 85$ and up for a bathrobe or silk pyjama set (｡-ω-) ..- i have better things to spend rediculous amounts of money on!! ( aka bath and body works. )
making him carrot cake aswell!! gonna roll him a blunt and have steak for dinner too ♡
both bought secondhand :3 i saw someone reselling the usahana bag for a crazy price lmao. i bought it for 50$ and saw someone reselling it for 150$!?
cinnamoroll is just from walmart and sylveon was traded to me for some of my items ♡
i missed having red hair :p i used manic panic vampire blood since walmart was out of the red arctic fox, i prefer to use arctic fox cuz 1. has a fox on it 2. doesen't smell like shit
my bf also loves it!!!! his hair is ginger and now we're kinda matching :3 i keep saying we're apples and oranges lol :33
i'm honestly so proud of myself! the birthday cake perfume set i made first :3 then i did the clover one for fun!
so.. i've had this experince mainly with therapists / psychiatrists, i had to have therapy at a young age ( 8-9ish ) and came out very young aswell. ( 11 )
i've had mostly therapists, but a few years ago i ditched therapy and only saw a psychiatrist because i was treated ALWAYS very childishly and like i was stupid. i was ahead mentally compared to alot of my peers growing up, when i started my therapy i was being made to play matching memory games, play in sand pits.. and i thought it was redundant and just wanted to talk about my feelings.
and when i got my psychiatrist, i was 15ish? i'm freshly 18 now and am changing my mental health service because of this.
my bio dad recently passed, and my bio mom was deemed unfit to take care of me, so my dad's freinds adopted me for my last few months of life before hitting the big 1-8, ( passed in march, my birthday is in june, this was in late april or early may? )
i'll call her M, my adoptive mom who actually cares about me - my psychiatrist ( i'll call her B ) has only known me during my transition, i'm still pre-t and going on T next year, B misgenders and deadnames me infront of staff, people in the waiting room, and would do it do my bio dad's face. ( he tried multiple times to reiterate that my name is not my deadname and to address me how he does when he checks me in. ) the receptionist would repeat my deadname back to him after he said my actual name...
and i finally had gotten fed up because i'm seeing B after my dad passes, she won't stop misgendering me to my face, my boyfreinds face, and my family -
i put my foot down and told her to stop referring to me as she, and she knows i'm trans. it's no secret, she'd been my provider for years and i've discussed surgery, hrt and things akin to that with her.. only for her to try to say she'd refer to me using they and i shut that dumb shit down immediately. i'm not nonbinary / gnc , i am a male.
and later on, she was speaking with M, and M herself is bi and is perfectly okay with me being ftm, she accompanies me to the gym and is helping me through my legal name change, hrt and surgeries :)
M tells B to stop referring to me as a female, and B goes on to say "she's not here, she can't hear us"
so basically telling my mom to misgender me.
my first thought was always "how could you be so dismissive and disrespectful of a trans person despite being a mental health professional?"
and my second thought was "very unprofessional of her."
and any time B would misgender/deadname me infront of anyone in the therapy office, she would like.. be so over the top? like throwing her hands up snd saying sorry very loudly and making a mini-scene and i just.. sit there and stare. this experince has really highlighted for me how some people view transmascs as confused girls or just don't take us seriously.
only a small fraction of his whole collection..
it was truly his passion. nerding out with his DnD group and collecting every figure from ren and stimpy and squidbillies, to robocop and the crow. i miss him dearly and have kept many of his items, his room used to look much akin to a toy store or museum. it tore me inside having to take his collection down.
i'd like to share it so everyone can see what a beautiful collection he garnered over the years. as a child he taught me how to collect and display my figures, and was always there to take a figure off the shelf to play toys with me. wether it was ghostbusters or godzilla, he had it.
i miss him :') but the memories live on. 3/5/26 ❤️
am i crazy or was this just rude?? 😭
so.. i go do the doctors office every 3 months for a depo shot, and i lifted my sleeve for the nurse to go through the regular procedure of the shot, and before giving it to me, she rubbed a patch of scars on my shoulder and asked "did you do that to yourself?"
...wich yes, i did do it to myself..and no, it isn't self harm scars - it's a scarification tattoo of a band logo wich i didn't do deep enough and faded. ( band -> SDI )
i wasn't very put down by it since it wasn't touchy for me with it not being actual self harm scars, but i was still shocked? it felt very backhanded and intrusive, especially with me JUST being there to receieve a shot, schedule the next one, and leave, is it normal for doctors / nurses to question scars / markings like this during something simple like a shot?
i've always felt more confident in myself when wearing a hat? i feel like it brings my hair down to cover the sides of my face and shape it up more, giving my face a more angular look.
i'm going on T next year tho, stay strong fellow pre-t dudes ❤️
the back is pretty kewl too (≧▽≦) i couldn't get a good pic tho (｡-ω-)