My baby just turned 1 and I am emotionally not okay at all
I don’t really know what to put in the body text, I honestly just want support, I desperately want something to make me feel better.
I have been crying on and off nonstop for 2 days (she turned 1 yesterday) with no end in sight. I look at her and just start sobbing. I can’t have another baby, physically nor financially. Every first was a last and while I know that her turning 1 is amazing and we are so blessed, and I know that there’s so much more to come and so much life to be lived, and I wouldn’t ACTUALLY want her to stay a baby forever,… my brain is just “I want you to stay little forever I want to go back” and it’s stuck there
I just can’t handle the grief that comes with the fact that while the baby I loved is still here technically, she’s also gone and won’t remember any of this and I can’t visit her, I must keep accepting the gains and the losses of all the versions of her I’ll love
It’s too hard