u/666nbnici

Ich bin mir nicht sicher, ob ich das Studium Bildungswissenschaften machen soll, womit ich auch im Sozialpädagogischen Bereich arbeiten könnte oder ein 2-jähriges Kolleg Sozialpädagogik.

Das Einstiegsgehalt nach dem Kolleg wären mind. 3.264,-

Oft ist es ja der Fall, dass man mit Bachelor besser eingestuft wird oder später weiter nach oben mit dem Gehalt kommt.
Ist das hier der Fall? Und ist es nur marginal oder ein deutlicher Unterschied? Ich konnte bis jetzt online nur die Gehaltsstufen finden, aber mir ist eben nicht klar, wie jemand mit Bachelor eingestuft werden würde

I already registered and am paying but couldn’t get myself to go there.
There is so many unknown things.

Finding the entrance first of all. How do I get in because as of now I don’t have a chip or anything.
I kind of don’t have that much workout clothes and it’s really important that I feel somewhat comfortable in it otherwise I’ll have anxiety about that the whole time.
I don’t really know how the equipment works.
I’m embarrassed about sweating because I sweat more easily.

I wish someone would go there with me but no one of my friends wants to workout 🥲
And obv I would prefer to find a time where it’s not as packed but idk when because I can’t do early in the morning

Only good thing it has an area only for women and I’m hoping that helps. I used to go to a gym and had a few uncomfortable situations with men, but I was always with a friend.

The good thing is it’s only a 5 minute walk away so really nearby the bad thing is I struggle with going outside 🫥
What helped you ?

Been seeing a bunch of videos of people who take a a peptide for weight loss and say they have anhedonia and they love how they don’t give a fuck about some things and it cured their ADHD and they are so productive now.

It’s just the most stupid shit I’ve ever seen like they definitely do not have anhedonia and I don’t think anyone would want that?? It genuinely made me have 0 motivation and no interest in anything and things that used the be fun weren’t giving me any positive feelings anymore but were just exhausting.
I don’t have anhedonia anymore luckily but that has been annoying me lately.

One of the comments „How long until I have anhedonia? I started my first dose last night and I cannot express enough how badly I need this to happen for me😂“

I really am constantly on TikTok, instagram watching reels or just scrolling for hours and hours.

Even when I’m washing my coffee mug and making my coffee my phone lays next to me with TikTok open.

I know it’s for stimulation for me when I do it during other things because most things are so boring to me so it “helps” otherwise I need to have music on.

Sometimes I try to use a book and start reading so I don’t waste my time but often times just starting to read is such a big hurdle and also I get bored even if it’s a book I bought and really wanted to read. It’s just less stimulating because it’s only black and white. And also I’m kind of stressed during it thinking I should be doing sth more productive, which is stupid because otherwise I’d be wasting my time on my phone and not actually doing tasks I should do like washing the dishes.

Idk the problem is that using TikTok doesn’t have this first hard barrier to overcome like other tasks and it is entertaining or giving ideas/inspirations.

Or I can’t just listen to a podcast in bed I need sth else as well. Mentioning this because I do watch TikTok in bed since I’m low energy so if I wanna switch I need things that also can be done in bed but are at least somewhat productive.

What helped you?

I already take meds for anxiety and they help but I still have anxiety everyday to different extents.

Selank is a peptide and I’ve seen people claim it helps anxiety without it causing dependance. To just use it as needed in a nasal.

I’m wondering if it would even be comparable to the strength of prescription medication?

I first started learning Russian 3 years ago and took two university courses in between I stopped for a bit and then continued again with a weekly lesson.

I’m still stuck at A2+/B1 and I feel like I don’t really progress that much.
I found a new tutor and really like her because she’s structured and does grammar and encourages that I speak a lot.
I’m planning to do 2 lessons a week now.

Music doesn’t really help me because my brain just cancels out the words.

I need tips especially if you have ADHD, what helped you the most ?

So for my social anxiety I have definitely made progress in the last years. F.ex I couldn’t do phone calls and would push them away for months which also was why it took me so long to see a psychiatrist or therapist for the first time.
E-mails were also a struggle.
Now emails are easy for me and most of the times I can do important phone calls nearly immediately.
I couldn’t do dating apps because being perceived and the stress having to write with someone was too much or even meeting up would cause me panic and so much anxiety.
But I would slowly be able to do it.

But I also have anxiety going to the supermarket or stores in general. I used to get panic attacks in there . It’s especially bad when I’m in the queue because I feel like I can’t get out same struggle in public transport.
Even tho I go there over and over again and get over my anxiety of even having to leave my apartment it’s like I hit a plateau. Like I can go there if it’s really necessary but I still get like racing heart I start sweating I am really nervous and sometimes I get dizzy and it’s just trying to get out there as quick as possible

I can’t find a lot about them so I’m unsure if they are legit ?

I need some alternatives
The hunger and food Noise I get from quetiapine is so bad. It got better when I reduced to like 12.5mg now I’m back on 25 and it’s worse and at 50-75mg it was even worse.

I want to stop taking it but idk what else could work and I currently just can’t sleep.
I need Ambien daily as well as of now

I have phases where I’ll do a 180 in terms of my clothing and appearance because all of a sudden I get thoughts like I look dirty, not put together not clean, no one will ever like me like that.

Or even things I used to like since I was a kid but then I have a phase where it’s polar opposite and I think I dont like it at all etc.
now that’s over and I’m back to wait I do like those things still and they are me
But it’s so confusing and then I’m wondering what do I actually like or is this now again me trying to gaslight me into liking it

I also think this whole clean girl trend was like gasoline and made those thoughts I had even worse

Idk if that makes any sense it’s hard to put into words but I’m wondering if anyone has dealt with a similar topic

I was on the way of weaning out Seroquel used to be at 75 and got down to 12.5 or even 7.5 and sometimes took 5mg Ambien
Now I’m back to 25mg Seroquel but nothing and even 5mg Ambien don’t help and sometimes have to go up to 15mg

It’s so frustrating, I know Ambien builds a tolerance and can make you depended which is why I don’t want to have to take it too often but the Seroquel just isn’t doing anything
And I even take it at 8:20 already before dinner
Now it’s 2:30 and I’m still awake after taking Xanax Seroquel and Ambien

I already take pregabaline for anxiety but it’s not sufficient for me.
I saw people talking about selank f.ex.
But are they even comparable in strength?

I have the shark but the attachments are huge and in general I’m just not impressed. It makes my hair not as smooth and also it’s imprecise because the oval brush attachment is really big.

I get a much better blowout just using a round brush and a hairdryer
They sell a round brush attachment but the diameter is really small and it’s supposed to be for bangs

I usually take quetiapine and Ambien as needed. With low dosages I don’t feel groggy or like this hangover from it at all.

I’ve been having issues falling asleep the last few weeks and had to take more Ambien. Usually 5mg but then I needed 10 and last time even 15mg because I just wouldn’t get tired and it was already 3am.

Ambien isn’t prescribed to me for daily use and I also don’t want to build any more tolerance or get dependent. Which is why I used another med yesterday, Truxal (Chlorprothixen, Antipsychotic)

I’ve already taken 20mg Ritalin 3 times today and it’s just not working at all. Its 16:22 im still groggy and I’ve just been in bed all day.

I’ve been constantly thinking about it and ruminating and the same thought is just looping because I’m not coming to an answer or getting certainty.
I’m literally researching online for hours using photoshop to try and see how I feel about different versions of me and it’s never right.
I’ve been taking beta blockers because I’m just so tensed up and I can’t do anything.
I’m just frozen in the same position and occupied with this.

And I currently also struggle with sleeping and my bruxism is really bad at night.

Even when I try to not give the thoughts attention or try to do sth else after a while I notice that I’m in the middle of googling again going through pictures and checking what feeling they give me.

Sorry for the bad formulation of the question.

I have notability. What bothers me is that It’s just new documents every time.
Is there something where there’s for example in the top row tabs so you can have some organization in one topic.

Or being able to swipe through like in a book so it’s like an actual notebook

I‘m removing my tattoos but I’m still considering getting some again or in case removal won’t fully work to get cover ups.

I’m really torn I’ve liked tattoos for such a long time then I started to regret mine and it went from 0-100 which I think that my anxiety etc accelerated.

For now I will remove them fully and in the mean time gather inspiration and see how I feel about it after that time.
I’ve tried to use chat gpt to put tattoos on me to see how I’d feel about it.

I used to be so excited about tattoos etc and now I’m so scared. I’m so scared to make the wrong decision.
How did you go about it ? I’ve definitely learned some things from the tattoos I’m removing like not changing the design spontaneously actually speaking up when I don’t like sth or am unsure, definitely not getting them spontaneously and also not going too bold

I’ve been just so tense and anxious the whole day.
I’m in general unsure what I want regarding my appearance.
So I research online and look for the perfect inspo but it just ends up never being right so I look through dozens of pages etc.
I’m just stuck frozen in a position on my bed I can’t get out of.
I wanted to continue cleaning up my room or making myself food but it’s then just ok just look up a few more.

So now I’ve skipped breakfast and lunch already. It would be time for dinner but instead of getting anything done I’ve been trying to get this feeling of certainty the last few hours.

As of now my therapist wasn’t really helpful. She just said but isn’t that sth positive that you are thorough and research and are cautious in your decisions and

I have a high bed.
From time to time I noticed those small bugs on the wall.
I have behind my pillows and beside the long side of the mattress.
Then I saw some sitting on the side of my mattress and I think they might be misting somewhere below the mattress in the wood.

And now two were ON my pillow 😭

I’m going to make my bed and wash the bedding at 90 degrees and use the vacuum all over the bed. I was disgusted but ok when I saw one on the wall but now on my bed is just so yucky.

I ordered pheromone traps so I can put them below the mattress and some on the side of the bed.

I‘m frustrated.
It’s like a constant search and in some areas and things I know what I like but I often don’t feel fully myself how I look doesn’t properly represent me.

I’m so torn about tattoos. I was fascinated and interested in piercings tattoos alternative styles when I was in primary school.
At the same time I change a lot and like so many things that I don’t know about permanent things like tattoos.

I look at pictures of myself of different years and don’t even recognize myself because now I’m so basic compared. And then I mourn it but I also know at that time it was never right as well there’s always something missing.
I think I struggled with the change the transition of getting tattoos a lot. Same with hair colors etc.

Even me changing because of getting older etc is a struggle and something I can’t let loose even years later.

My therapist isn’t helpful with that as well. I told her sometimes or nowadays often times I wear stuff that’s just doable due to sensory problems but doesn’t look how I want it to and doesn’t represent me and to me it’s just so important to properly express myself.
Any tips appreciated