u/Agri0702

I got too many problems for my anxious attachment issues, and my need to be loved, chosen, not be abandoned, and bla bla bla. So i wanna learn to stay alone because i don't want to depend on anyone. Tonight I went to the beach alone. I faked a call phone just to talk to myself out loud and to not seem crazy to the people around. Talking with me i realized that i don't spend enough time with myself. When I'm alone i usually make up fake scenarios in my head and spend the time daydreaming. Maybe i hate to spend time with myself? I don't know, but i need to be alone and learn to stay alone. Does anyone have any suggestions or advice? Thank you!

She made a post where she asked for help for his friend, who had suicide issues. I helped (M24), we talked for 2 days about this and then she started asking personal questions to be my friend, because we really had many many things in common. She told me that she is 22. We started talking every day, all day. About our stories, our exes, the things that we like to do, and so many other things. We started developing feelings for each other, but i wanted to wait because i just ended a 5 years relationship so, i was still broken. But we kept talking, we were basically a couple, even if we weren't officials.

But she had problems with depression. So i asked for help online and i decided to look for all the posts and comments she ever made, even the hidden ones (yes, you can see everything even if it's private), because i wanted to see if she made a post about her mental health, i just wanted to help her. There i found post where she wrote that she was 16, not 22...so i freaked out. Yesterday we fought for all day, basically at the end she convinced me that she's actually 19 (that is very young for my age, but at least she is not a minor). She told me that she would prove that to me. This morning i decided to do something that i already did, but with more search engines. Basically I search if her images were authentic. The first time nothing popped out so, i thought that it was really her. Today i found out that all her photos are on Pinterest...and my dumbass still asked her the reasons why she lied to me so much if she didn't even ask for money or anything else. I got played so hard. I really liked her a lot. She shared with me all her music, her passions, i really can't believe that she doesn't exist, but surely she is not the girl that I thought. I feel once again betrayed by my life, but this time it's on me.

The thing that hurts the most is that I will never know the truth. She texted me love messages during the night to let me find them in the morning and start my day with a smile. She wrote a poem for me. We had a distant date where we went to the cinema to watch a movie together even if we were in different countries. She helped me when I was the one with suicidal problems. She talked so much about the problems with her family, she had a story so specific. It was a lie? Everything was a lie? I can't believe it. It's more possible that some parts of her life were a lie, like her age, her home, some "attempt" she did seemed fake honestly, all her pics were fake (but i was into her personality way before she started sending me pics). But all the rest that we shared...I can't really believe that even that was a lie. Now I'm missing someone who didn't even exist. I hate my life. (I'm not a pedo i swear)

I have someone who is very close to me. But she's suicidal. We started getting closer, and she is so happy now because of me. But i quickly realize that if I ever leave her for some reason, she is gonna end her life right after. Leaving her is not my intention honestly. But now i feel trapped, i feel i have the responsibility of someone else's life. I'm very happy with her, but sometimes I can't be as happy as I want because this thought haunts me. I'm starting to show symptoms of an anxiety attack, and I don't want to, I should be happy, she should bring peace, and I really don't know what to do. I want her to keep living even if we are not together. Because I really don't want to leave her, but if there is the possibility I really want to avoid that outcome

I like the way that I am. In life I did things that literally makes me a hero. I can't help and feel bad for the situations of everyone around me, and this is tiring.

I saved the life of my ex by helping her escaping from her abusive family, i give her my home and I worked for 3 years just to achieve our goals and life together, but she just decided that she didn't like being in a relationship anymore, after 5 years with me. But I tried to be compriensive in any ways. But i got mad that i did so much for her and she didn't try to put a bit of effort to keep staying with me. She just abandoned me when she got too used to our life, and did nothing to work on it, and she don't want to see how much of my life i sacrificed for her. But it is what it is. 

The point is: I keep doing things, especially for people who I care about, no one put half of my effort for me. Sometimes I just feel that I'm doing the bare minimum, nothing crazy, but they can't give me back even that. 

The other day I crashed out completely. I was in the shower and I noticed that there was a spider that was struggling to get out of the shower. It's just a stupid spider. But I couldn't help but saving him, even if I really don't like spiders. I helped him to get on my finger and helped him to get out of the shower, while it kept crawling on my harm while I was trying to not being super disgusted by it. Why should I do something like that for someone who can't even thank me. I did feel better after, yeah, but I keep thinking about the fact that I'm only doing this because I just HOPE that God, or the Karma, or something above us could give me something good in my life in exchange of my good behavior. No Luca, no one is going to give you anything. Not God, not the Karma, not your life. No one is going to save me. When I am the struggling spider everyone want to kill me instead of helping me.

But I can't help but keep trying saving everyone, but myself.

I like the way that I am. In life I did things that literally makes me a hero. I can't help and feel bad for the situations of everyone around me, and this is tiring.

I saved the life of my ex by helping her escaping from her abusive family, i give her my home and I worked for 3 years just to achieve our goals and life together, but she just decided that she didn't like being in a relationship anymore, after 5 years with me. But I tried to be compriensive in any ways. But i got mad that i did so much for her and she didn't try to put a bit of effort to keep staying with me. She just abandoned me when she got too used to our life, and did nothing to work on it, and she don't want to see how much of my life i sacrificed for her. But it is what it is. 

The point is: I keep doing things, especially for people who I care about, no one put half of my effort for me. Sometimes I just feel that I'm doing the bare minimum, nothing crazy, but they can't give me back even that. 

The other day I crashed out completely. I was in the shower and I noticed that there was a spider that was struggling to get out of the shower. It's just a stupid spider. But I couldn't help but saving him, even if I really don't like spiders. I helped him to get on my finger and helped him to get out of the shower, while it kept crawling on my harm while I was trying to not being super disgusted by it. Why should I do something like that for someone who can't even thank me. I did feel better after, yeah, but I keep thinking about the fact that I'm only doing this because I just HOPE that God, or the Karma, or something above us could give me something good in my life in exchange of my good behavior. No Luca, no one is going to give you anything. Not God, not the Karma, not your life. No one is going to save me. When I am the struggling spider everyone want to kill me instead of helping me.

But I can't help but keep trying saving everyone, but myself.

I always thought that she was gonna come back one day apologizing for everything, that she wants me back or at least that she misses me. Not because i want her back, but because she discarded me, she hurt me so bad, that I want her to feel guilty about everything she did. But I realized that she's not missing me, and she will never miss me. She is happier without me. But we were together for five years, I saved her life, I sacrificed all I had to make her happy, and she woke up one day and decided that she wanted to be single. I don't matter anymore in her life. I was nothing for her? How could she do something like that to me? We were best friends, we were almost at marriage. She actually loved me or she stayed with me because she wasn't independent? I hate her so much, she ruined my life

I would like to have some advice for people that had an ex who immediately started dating other people, like in my case. I would like some advice on how to move on from this. Because, in my case, if she had started to seriously date someone, yeah it would be shattering, and I'll be super jealous, but the fact is that I know that she just wants lust, from multiple guys. This is one of the cases where she wasn't a person capable of doing something like that once, and after the breakup is unrecognizable. How can I handle it to avoid feeling all this pain, all this rage, the sadness and the loneliness? I mean, maybe I can do something to give me a bit of relief, a distraction. Does anyone have a similar experience?

I would like to have some advice for people that had an ex who immediately started dating other people, like in my case. I would like some advice on how to move on from this. Because, in my case, if she had started to seriously date someone, yeah it would be shattering, and I'll be super jealous, but the fact is that I know that she just wants lust, from multiple guys. This is one of the cases where she wasn't a person capable of doing something like that once, and after the breakup is unrecognizable. How can I handle it to avoid feeling all this pain, all this rage, the sadness and the loneliness? I mean, maybe I can do something to give me a bit of relief, a distraction. Does anyone have a similar experience?

Hi. It's years that I really want to become a storytime creator. I really can't draw correctly but I want to do it anyways. So, someone have some advice for me?

I bought a little graphic tablet, so I can draw on pc, nothing special, it was really cheap. I have my script, I already recorded some videos. But I really struggle with the drawing part. don't ask for too much to myself, just really simple drawings. But something keep blocking me.

PS: I know it's silly but I'm using paint to draw, lol

She asked me to give her some documents and to send her via mail. So I took two boxes and put everything that I have of her in there. So clothes, documents, and all the gifts that she gave me and that I gave her. She is an avoidant, so she went no contact with me and started to hook up with guys not even 24 hours after she broke up (and doing everything that she always said that she hated). Well, I don't want her back, she made the worst mistakes of her life and she can't come back to me, and I know she will. The moment that she touched another guy she lost me. But anyways, she is avoiding accountability and the guilt for ruining my life.

So, do you think that seeing the gifts, the love letters and how much she loved me and how much I loved her she could finally feel all the guilt that she is repressing? I just want that she could feel a bit of what I'm going through, since she ruined me so bad that my therapist suggested anti depressant and I had to call the suicide hotline in some night.

I don't care about your opinion about what I want, sometimes I decide to do something wrong even If I know that is wrong. I mean, why does everyone keep hurting me without consequences but I can't do the same? So, just answer my question, I know I want something bad, but I don't care anymore

She asked me to give her some documents and to send her via mail. So I took two boxes and put everything that I have of her in there. So clothes, documents, and all the gifts that she gave me and that I gave her. She is an avoidant, so she went no contact with me and started to hook up with guys not even 24 hours after she broke up (and doing everything that she always said that she hated). Well, I don't want her back, she made the worst mistakes of her life and she can't come back to me, and I know she will. The moment that she touched another guy she lost me. But anyways, she is avoiding accountability and the guilt for ruining my life.

So, do you think that seeing the gifts, the love letters and how much she loved me and how much I loved her she could finally feel all the guilt that she is repressing? I just want that she could feel a bit of what I'm going through, since she ruined me so bad that my therapist suggested anti depressant and I had to call the suicide hotline in some night.

I don't care about your opinion about what I want, sometimes I decide to do something wrong even If I know that is wrong. I mean, why does everyone keep hurting me without consequences but I can't do the same? So, just answer my question, I know I want something bad, but I don't care anymore

They called me, and told me that I got that job. Finally, I can start my life again. But you are not here to be happy for me. When I come back from work, you won't be there, and you won't run towards me to greet me. I’ll be exhausted, and there won’t be anyone to rekindle my desire to go on living the few remaining hours of the day. I'll simply go to sleep, and then to work again. And when I wake up, your side of the bed will always be empty.

I miss you, a lot. But it's all your fault. And I can't take you back. It was the biggest mistake of your life, and you made me pay the price for your choices, too. I loved you. Now I hate you.

They called me, and told me that I got that job. Finally, I can start my life again. But you are not here to be happy for me. When I come back from work, you won't be there, and you won't run towards me to greet me. I’ll be exhausted, and there won’t be anyone to rekindle my desire to go on living the few remaining hours of the day. I'll simply go to sleep, and then to work again. And when I wake up, your side of the bed will always be empty.

I miss you, a lot. But it's all your fault. And I can't take you back. It was the biggest mistake of your life, and you made me pay the price for your choices, too. I loved you. Now I hate you.

"I broke up with my boyfriend after 5 years" and I'll start looking for details to see if the person who wrote that is you. Every time. Every post, about something that could be related to our story, every time I hope to find you. Maybe in that way I'll have the answer that you never gave me, I'll know the secrets that you never told me, and I'll finally understand why you ruined me...

"I broke up with my boyfriend after 5 years" and I'll start looking for details to see if the person who wrote that is you. Every time. Every post, about something that could be related to our story, every time I hope to find you. Maybe in that way I'll have the answer that you never gave me, I'll know the secrets that you never told me, and I'll finally understand why you ruined me...

Karma doesn't exist. Or at least, negative karma always exists when it comes to me. At the slightest hint of a vaguely immoral action, karma strikes and makes me miserable. Yet the rest of the time, I’m kind and good to everyone; I do plenty of favors and try to make everyone happy. And karma stays silent. Or maybe I should just be grateful to be alive? Fuck it, I hate my life.

For five years, I made so many sacrifices for my girlfriend—I literally saved her life. Then, one day, she wakes up and decides she doesn't love me anymore; she starts an OnlyFans account and begins seeing a bunch of guys less than a week after leaving me. What happened to post-breakup respect? To avoiding hurting the person you loved for so long? She can do whatever she wants with her life, but couldn't she at least wait a few months? Because if I were in her shoes, I would have done that without anyone even asking; I’ve always done so after a breakup.

And here I am, telling myself: "One day she’ll come back and beg to get back together, because I was the best guy she could have ever had"—but what a deluded fool I am. Now she goes out every day, has people around her who care about her, has fun, can sleep with whoever she wants, and doesn't think about me anymore. Meanwhile, I haven't slept in months; I keep waking up in the middle of the night with anxiety because I dream of the lovely girl she used to be and realize we aren't together anymore. I can't get back to sleep, I can't eat, and I suffer from constant panic attacks where I try to hurt myself—or worse. She took all the money I had; I’m alone all day with no one to talk to or go out with. I’ve been reduced to writing here all day, looking so desperate as I churn out post after post and cry because no one answers—all just to find a little company and avoiding to have one my crisis.

And a year from now, I’ll still be alone, without friends, working every day for the rest of my life. Meanwhile, she’ll already have a loving new boyfriend, be rich thanks to OnlyFans, and won’t even remember the guy who saved her life from her abusive family.

And everyone tells me, "You have to try to understand." I have to try to understand? I’m always making excuses for other people's actions, even when they’re downright cruel to me. Why doesn't anyone ever try to understand ME? Why am I always the one who has to make an effort for others, while no one ever makes an effort for me? I’ve always been the least appreciated son, the family outcast, the one excluded from every friend group and bullied, the one who struggled in school, I’m not anyone’s first choice, nor their second, got rejected by every girl, and has no bright future ahead. I don’t think I ever did anything wrong to deserve all this pain, and I’m tired of having to be the mature adult when no one else is willing to be that way with me. I don’t even have the courage to end it all once and for all.

I am exhausted by this life. Everything was fine; I had the one person who made me happy, and now she’s the worst of them all. I didn't really do anything to make her leave—I was building her dream, supporting her for years while she worked on her own dreams. But I suppose I asked too much from my life. I just wanted to have one person with me who truly loves me and wants to be with me. I have no one to hug. Not even my parents. I truly, simply want someone who loves and cares for me, who shows it, and who cuddles me.

Karma doesn't exist. Or at least, negative karma always exists when it comes to me. At the slightest hint of a vaguely immoral action, karma strikes and makes me miserable. Yet the rest of the time, I’m kind and good to everyone; I do plenty of favors and try to make everyone happy. And karma stays silent. Or maybe I should just be grateful to be alive? Fuck it, I hate my life.

For five years, I made so many sacrifices for my girlfriend—I literally saved her life. Then, one day, she wakes up and decides she doesn't love me anymore; she starts an OnlyFans account and begins seeing a bunch of guys less than a week after leaving me. What happened to post-breakup respect? To avoiding hurting the person you loved for so long? She can do whatever she wants with her life, but couldn't she at least wait a few months? Because if I were in her shoes, I would have done that without anyone even asking; I’ve always done so after a breakup.

And here I am, telling myself: "One day she’ll come back and beg to get back together, because I was the best guy she could have ever had"—but what a deluded fool I am. Now she goes out every day, has people around her who care about her, has fun, can sleep with whoever she wants, and doesn't think about me anymore. Meanwhile, I haven't slept in months; I keep waking up in the middle of the night with anxiety because I dream of the lovely girl she used to be and realize we aren't together anymore. I can't get back to sleep, I can't eat, and I suffer from constant panic attacks where I try to hurt myself—or worse. She took all the money I had; I’m alone all day with no one to talk to or go out with. I’ve been reduced to writing here all day, looking so desperate as I churn out post after post and cry because no one answers—all just to find a little company and avoiding to have one my crisis.

And a year from now, I’ll still be alone, without friends, working every day for the rest of my life. Meanwhile, she’ll already have a loving new boyfriend, be rich thanks to OnlyFans, and won’t even remember the guy who saved her life from her abusive family.

And everyone tells me, "You have to try to understand." I have to try to understand? I’m always making excuses for other people's actions, even when they’re downright cruel to me. Why doesn't anyone ever try to understand ME? Why am I always the one who has to make an effort for others, while no one ever makes an effort for me? I’ve always been the least appreciated son, the family outcast, the one excluded from every friend group and bullied, the one who struggled in school, I’m not anyone’s first choice, nor their second, got rejected by every girl, and has no bright future ahead. I don’t think I ever did anything wrong to deserve all this pain, and I’m tired of having to be the mature adult when no one else is willing to be that way with me. I don’t even have the courage to end it all once and for all.

I am exhausted by this life. Everything was fine; I had the one person who made me happy, and now she’s the worst of them all. I didn't really do anything to make her leave—I was building her dream, supporting her for years while she worked on her own dreams. But I suppose I asked too much from my life. I just wanted to have one person with me who truly loves me and wants to be with me. I have no one to hug. Not even my parents. I truly, simply want someone who loves and cares for me, who shows it, and who cuddles me.

Karma doesn't exist. Or at least, negative karma always exists when it comes to me. At the slightest hint of a vaguely immoral action, karma strikes and makes me miserable. Yet the rest of the time, I’m kind and good to everyone; I do plenty of favors and try to make everyone happy. And karma stays silent. Or maybe I should just be grateful to be alive? Fuck it, I hate my life.

For five years, I made so many sacrifices for my girlfriend—I literally saved her life. Then, one day, she wakes up and decides she doesn't love me anymore; she starts an OnlyFans account and begins seeing a bunch of guys less than a week after leaving me. What happened to post-breakup respect? To avoiding hurting the person you loved for so long? She can do whatever she wants with her life, but couldn't she at least wait a few months? Because if I were in her shoes, I would have done that without anyone even asking; I’ve always done so after a breakup.

And here I am, telling myself: "One day she’ll come back and beg to get back together, because I was the best guy she could have ever had"—but what a deluded fool I am. Now she goes out every day, has people around her who care about her, has fun, can sleep with whoever she wants, and doesn't think about me anymore. Meanwhile, I haven't slept in months; I keep waking up in the middle of the night with anxiety because I dream of the lovely girl she used to be and realize we aren't together anymore. I can't get back to sleep, I can't eat, and I suffer from constant panic attacks where I try to hurt myself—or worse. She took all the money I had; I’m alone all day with no one to talk to or go out with. I’ve been reduced to writing here all day, looking so desperate as I churn out post after post and cry because no one answers—all just to find a little company and avoiding to have one my crisis.

And a year from now, I’ll still be alone, without friends, working every day for the rest of my life. Meanwhile, she’ll already have a loving new boyfriend, be rich thanks to OnlyFans, and won’t even remember the guy who saved her life from her abusive family.

And everyone tells me, "You have to try to understand." I have to try to understand? I’m always making excuses for other people's actions, even when they’re downright cruel to me. Why doesn't anyone ever try to understand ME? Why am I always the one who has to make an effort for others, while no one ever makes an effort for me? I’ve always been the least appreciated son, the family outcast, the one excluded from every friend group and bullied, the one who struggled in school, I’m not anyone’s first choice, nor their second, got rejected by every girl, and has no bright future ahead. I don’t think I ever did anything wrong to deserve all this pain, and I’m tired of having to be the mature adult when no one else is willing to be that way with me. I don’t even have the courage to end it all once and for all.

I am exhausted by this life. Everything was fine; I had the one person who made me happy, and now she’s the worst of them all. I didn't really do anything to make her leave—I was building her dream, supporting her for years while she worked on her own dreams. But I suppose I asked too much from my life. I just wanted to have one person with me who truly loves me and wants to be with me. I have no one to hug. Not even my parents. I truly, simply want someone who loves and cares for me, who shows it, and who cuddles me.

Karma doesn't exist. Or at least, negative karma always exists when it comes to me. At the slightest hint of a vaguely immoral action, karma strikes and makes me miserable. Yet the rest of the time, I’m kind and good to everyone; I do plenty of favors and try to make everyone happy. And karma stays silent. Or maybe I should just be grateful to be alive? Fuck it, I hate my life.

For five years, I made so many sacrifices for my girlfriend—I literally saved her life. Then, one day, she wakes up and decides she doesn't love me anymore; she starts an OnlyFans account and begins seeing a bunch of guys less than a week after leaving me. What happened to post-breakup respect? To avoiding hurting the person you loved for so long? She can do whatever she wants with her life, but couldn't she at least wait a few months? Because if I were in her shoes, I would have done that without anyone even asking; I’ve always done so after a breakup.

And here I am, telling myself: "One day she’ll come back and beg to get back together, because I was the best guy she could have ever had"—but what a deluded fool I am. Now she goes out every day, has people around her who care about her, has fun, can sleep with whoever she wants, and doesn't think about me anymore. Meanwhile, I haven't slept in months; I keep waking up in the middle of the night with anxiety because I dream of the lovely girl she used to be and realize we aren't together anymore. I can't get back to sleep, I can't eat, and I suffer from constant panic attacks where I try to hurt myself—or worse. She took all the money I had; I’m alone all day with no one to talk to or go out with. I’ve been reduced to writing here all day, looking so desperate as I churn out post after post and cry because no one answers—all just to find a little company and avoiding to have one my crisis.

And a year from now, I’ll still be alone, without friends, working every day for the rest of my life. Meanwhile, she’ll already have a loving new boyfriend, be rich thanks to OnlyFans, and won’t even remember the guy who saved her life from her abusive family.

And everyone tells me, "You have to try to understand." I have to try to understand? I’m always making excuses for other people's actions, even when they’re downright cruel to me. Why doesn't anyone ever try to understand ME? Why am I always the one who has to make an effort for others, while no one ever makes an effort for me? I’ve always been the least appreciated son, the family outcast, the one excluded from every friend group and bullied, the one who struggled in school, I’m not anyone’s first choice, nor their second, got rejected by every girl, and has no bright future ahead. I don’t think I ever did anything wrong to deserve all this pain, and I’m tired of having to be the mature adult when no one else is willing to be that way with me. I don’t even have the courage to end it all once and for all.

I am exhausted by this life. Everything was fine; I had the one person who made me happy, and now she’s the worst of them all. I didn't really do anything to make her leave—I was building her dream, supporting her for years while she worked on her own dreams. But I suppose I asked too much from my life. I just wanted to have one person with me who truly loves me and wants to be with me. I have no one to hug. Not even my parents. I truly, simply want someone who loves and cares for me, who shows it, and who cuddles me.