u/AllegedlyAlly08

EDIT: and I just realized I was going to have her killed by her husband, dang it.😭 now I’m sure I have to change something.

I have a character named Queen Daina. Pronounced like Dane-ah. By the time the story starts, she’s already dead, but she’ll be referred to a lot. She was reserved, even kind of shy, kind, wise, and loved her people. I didn’t realize until after that it might seem like I was making a character reminiscent of Princess Diana. I know this is probably silly, and there’s nothing to worry about, they don’t even look alike besides maybe being white and having blue eyes, but are people going to think I based my character after her? Daina wasn’t even the name I was originally going to go with, but I just thought of it, and I really like it for her. ~I have tried~

I have a list of thirty-three questions for people who are blind. I’m asking these questions mostly for personal curiosity, and I’ve have made them as respectful as I know how to be, I just need an appropriate place for them now. If you guys want to see the questions I copied and pasted them in the comments. Anyways thank you to anyone who gives any suggestions, hope you have a nice day!

Hi everyone! I would like to ask some questions on the experiences of being blind, mostly for personal curiosity. If any of these questions make you uncomfortable or offend you, please don’t feel any obligation to answer. Feel free to pick around my questions, and just answer whichever ones stand out to you.(I numbered them to make it easier to refer to.) For sighted people like myself, who might be in the comments, please remember to be respectful, and remember that each person’s experience will be different.

1. How long have you experienced blindness, and if you’re comfortable, what specific condition do you have?
2. Do you believe there are any unique advantages to being blind?
3. Do you have a service animal? If so, what has that experience been like for you, and how have they helped you?
4. Do you live independently, and if so, what tools do you use to make life easier?
5. If you have been blind since before smartphones, what were some tools you used before?
6. What would you want all sighted people to know?
7. Do you enjoy answering questions about being blind, and educating others?
8. If you have any daily struggles related to being blind, what are they?
9. Have you dealt with any bullying or nastiness from anyone, for being blind?
10. What do you wish sighted people would stop doing or assuming?
11. What advice would you give to a newly blind person, that you wish someone told you?
12. What are your biggest fears relating to being blind?
13. Do you find it to be harder to date or make connections? Have you been friends with or dated other blind people?
14. How do your other senses help you, and which ones do you rely on the most?
15. Has your blindness caused you to see yourself differently?
16. If you had to describe being blind in the way you specifically experience it, what would you say?
17. (For people who weren’t born blind.) Do you still remember what it was like to see?
18. If you were blind while still in school, what was it like, and were the other kids nice about it?
19. If you don’t remember having sight, is it difficult for you to imagine, and what would you be most enthusiastic about seeing?
20. What do you think sighted people take for granted?
21. Do you have any awkward stories or situations you’d like to share?
22. Do you believe blind people can still be superficial?
23. What are some tasteless things people have said to you?
24. What do you do for employment, or to fill your time?
25. What type of help do you actually find helpful from the people around you?
26. What do you dream about?
27. Do you get offended when someone describes you as a blind person?
28. Have you ever been accused of faking it? If so, how did you handle it?
29. If you like to read, is it hard finding media that is accessible to you?
30. How much more difficult is traveling for a blind person, in your experience?
31. Do you ever find that people are kinder to you when they realize that you are blind? If so, how does that make you feel?
32. Would you say being blind makes other experiences like eating or listening to music more enjoyable, because it causes you to focus more on those senses?
33. How do you feel about the why blindness is represented in media? What changes would you make, and are there things you wish were included more?

Edit: Y’all stop arguing in my comments lol. You’re acting like children. We can discuss differing opinions without it getting heated. Be adults please.

This is coming from someone who downloaded Reddit at seventeen, and I still think I should have waited. Reddit is very cruel, harsh place, and I don’t think it should ever get a chance to influence children. Not only that, but there’s lots of creeps on here. Also, a lot of times this app is used as a way to debate and discuss things that may be over slightly over their head, and the power dynamic is way off between some random fifty-eight year old Redditor, and a thirteen year old. I keep seeing them revealing their age online, when I don’t think this is a safe place to do that. I don’t think kids have the maturity, and also often don’t have tough enough skin to handle the things people will say to them on Reddit.

If minors at all should be allowed on here, MAYBE sixteen and up, but I still think that is pushing it. Another reason is a lot of kids can be very literal, and peer pressure is at its highest, so they may think some dumb post a bot could have made, that has some supporting comments is law. Some posts may make them feel justified in their bad behavior, and they may be too immature to actually reflect and see these people are wrong, or could literally be posting satire, or rage bait. People on here are bad influences a lot of times, and they may grow up to also think all the world is this angry, now we have a jaded kid. That’s sad. Lots of kids don’t know how to take things with a grain of salt.

My question is just as simple as the title? I want to be on certain subs, but there’s also things I want to block out, is there a way to do that?

My hot take is that “happiness is a choice,” is technically true (for most people) but it can be really insensitive to say sometimes, and should be said in only specific situations. For some people (not all) happiness is a choice in the same way that some paralyzed people can learn to walk again. Trying to be happy will feel just as daunting and impossible. It’s technically possible for them to walk again, but is it really close to impossible sometimes? Yes. It can feel extremely shaky and extremely temporary like holding a plank or something.

So saying “happiness is a choice,” to someone who is seriously struggling, can be an extremely insensitive thing to say to them, because it’s trivializing something that feels as hard as it is for a paraplegic trying to learn to walk again. Very invalidating, and unhelpful. Imagine telling a man who was said to have paralyzed legs “Walking is a choice.” 😆

It can be especially hurtful when you’re truly struggling, and someone in your life makes it seem like this is what you want. Especially if it comes from someone who seems to have an easier time than you.

It’s different if the person is an overall happy person, and they’re being grumpy that day, because they spilled their drink. I still think that it can be an unhelpful thing to say in that situation, true or not, because it’s kind of like “Oh thanks! I didn’t think of that! Let me un-grumpy myself!” Lol there’s other ways to cheer grumpy people up, and saying that may back fire.

Now I’m not judging, I know some people aren’t blessed with the same understanding of grammar, and I’m not the grammar police. It’s just, some people choose to ignore it because they don’t care, and it’ll change the entire message of what they’re saying. Some people do it on purpose. Sometimes it feels like a stroke simulation by reading someone’s texts. I am not saying I don’t ever make grammar mistakes, because that is not true at all, but I wish some people would just try a LITTLE harder. I’m not calling anyone dumb or anything, just because you have bad grammar, doesn’t make you dumb, it’s just really annoying sometimes. I don’t care about run on sentences or anything,(I do those all the time) but maybe some COMMAS. Also, I’m aware that sometimes English isn’t some people’s native language, and I completely understand that, that is a good reason, and I’m not talking about those people. (But if you are one of those people, my little thing below might help you.)

So here is my a little instructional guide. (mods, please don’t remove this. It’s part of my rant.)

Your = you own something

You’re = you are

Their = they own something

They’re = they are

There = like “It’s right there.”

Were = like “Were you there yesterday?”

We’re = we are

Wore/wear = relating to clothing

Where = like “Where are you?”

Commas!

•Almost always before “but.”

•Separating things in a list. “Dogs, cats, birds, and bunnies.”

•Make sure leaving out a comma doesn’t change the meaning of your sentence. Example:

Incorrect: “We’re eating mom!”
Correct: “We’re eating, mom!”
(One is cannibalistic, and one is informing the mom.)

The island is tropical by the way! You also have to bring at least five people with you, also you can bring all of your current pets, (if you want) but you’d never see anyone else again. (Besides any children made) But keep in mind, no matter what you choose, you would have all the food, drink, medical stuff you would ever need. There’s a magical medical room that fixes you up, painlessly. Each home is also very nice, magically nothing bad ever happens to you, your friends, animals, or house. You also have all the books, movies, music, you could ever want, but never internet. You can’t go past five miles of the home. The vagueness is on purpose, so if you had to choose, what would it be?

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Advice I’d give to new Redditors, as someone who is just now learning the ropes. (I’d love for you to comment your advice too!):

-Your karma is important to this app. At first you won’t be able to post in some communities, and that’s normal. Just lurk in the shadows for a while, and comment on things. Comment/post something that’s controversial, you might get downvoted. Down votes hurt your karma. Comment/post something funny/interesting/non-controversial, you’re more likely to get upvotes. If you downvote someone, it hurts their karma, use that information wisely.

-I recommend making a second account, for your more embarrassing questions and posts, but don’t forget to do things on that one too, so you’ll have enough karma to post.

-Don’t underestimate a quick perusal in the rule section of a community. I think a lot of people skip it, but sometimes you might think a community is obviously about something, and then you look, and you misunderstand something. You might get in trouble for posting something off topic, or against the rules.

-People are harsh and sometimes rude on this app, you kind of need a thicker skin, and know when to pick your battles. There are trolls though, just like any other social media. I’m really sorry, but people on this app often twist your words, and argue with you on things that you thought no one could find something wrong with. Lots of people on this app are miserable, and it’s not you, don’t take it personally.

-The little signature avatar of Reddit, is named Snoo, short for “What’s new?”

-Apparently there used to be an anti-emoji thing here, and apparently it’s less strict now. You can use emojis, but I use them sparingly. Also, please use good grammar, I know not all of us were blessed with the same understanding for grammar rules, but please try enough for us to understand you.

-If you can think of it, there’s probably a community for it. (And many that you couldn’t even think of.) Cats, weird eggs, hygiene, financial stuff, memes, specific authors/books, it gets extremely specific, find your crowd.

-Be kind, don’t stoop to other’s levels, be an adult, be above that. You can disagree and discuss it without it being heated at all. People have different perspectives. Don’t go to communities just to be a troll, it’s disrespectful, and a waste of your time.

-The app will automatically make you like your own comments & posts. It’s not recommended to undo it. I don’t understand it, I’m used to other apps where it seems pretentious or something to like your own stuff, but this app is different. It might look like you got downvoted, if you undo it.

-If you are a minor, (and this goes for most areas of the internet.) be careful to reveal your age. To be honest, I wish no one under eighteen got this app. (coming from someone who is eighteen, so trust me I understand.) But I know you’re not going to listen, I probably wouldn’t have either, so just please be careful. There are creeps everywhere.

Probably lavender (check the comments to see the shades of colors I’m talking about.)

Edit: Also guys, if you’re choosing black because you love nighttime, keep in mind it would still be lighter out because there’s a sun, and there would still be lighter colored clouds. (I’m guessing they would look more grey though.)

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I’d rather not lol, but I’d have a lot to say. Also, guys if y’all are a minor, please stop commenting your age.

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As a woman, I can flesh out male characters so easily, but I get stuck when I try to write women. They always turn out the be Mary Sue’s or super evil. Is this because I see myself in female characters, and I don’t understand myself so I don’t understand them? Or do I have a hard time writing women because of insecurity, it’s hard to write a good character with flaws because it feels like it’s showing my flaws, so they end up being really perfect, or really evil, because I have a hard writing them as good people with flaws? I don’t understand. I love my male characters, because they end up having more depth. How do I separate myself from my female characters, and how do I make them flawed without ruining them? I would really love some direction, and I would love to know if you have experienced this.

As a woman, I can flesh out male characters so easily, but I get stuck when I try to write women. They always turn out the be Mary Sue’s or super evil. Is this because I see myself in female characters, and I don’t understand myself so I don’t understand them? Or do I have a hard time writing women because of insecurity, it’s hard to write a good character with flaws because it feels like it’s showing my flaws, so they end up being really perfect, or really evil, because I have a hard writing them as good people with flaws? I don’t understand. I love my male characters, because they end up having more depth. How do I separate myself from my female characters, and how do I make them flawed without ruining them? I would really love some direction, and I would love to know if you have experienced this.

Please help me find a drawing reference!

I’m looking for references of people who are bowing. (Like you would do in front of royalty.) One hand on the back, the other at the chest/stomach. It has to be one where the person is turned to the side, like in a way where you would see their side profile. Preferably men and young boys, I’m trying to draw a prince who’s like ten years old.

I’ll also take the same thing, but for women and girls curtsying. Same thing with turned to the side with a side profile.

I’ll even take homemade references if you want.😭 It’s surprisingly hard to find these! Every time I look up stuff like “person bowing,” or “person doing a bow,” I get a bunch of people shooting bows and arrows, or people doing a Japanese bow, which is different than what I’m looking for.

Spoilers, but nothing over Couriers Outbound. If your favorite character shows up after Couriers Outbound, don’t tell us please. (I’ll also probably be spelling names wrong, forgive me.)

Anyways! If your favorite character is Erin, who is your favorite besides her?? I can’t really choose, but I love Numb Tongue, Ceria, Ryoka, Mrsha obviously, Moor, Pult,(the centaur, not the dwarf but I love him too.) Neirs, Pirite, Teriark, Evaleth, Pawn, Rags, etc. Erin is my comfort character though.

This isn’t going to be a long post, but what if we made a community that was called something like “No Stupid Questions for Christians.” And got a bunch of people from this community to join? I think that would help people who have questions, but feel embarrassed to ask. I feel like it would take some of the pressure off, especially for newer Christians, or maybe Christians who have been Christians for a while and feel like they’ve been a Christian too long to not know something, so they’ve just avoided asking. What do y’all think??