u/AreYouSureBabyGorl

I am only three days in, and I am aware that the pain wont magically disappear in a few days. But when can i truly start to expect some change? Its so hard as of right now. I feel so depleted, and just so empty. I need something to look forward to. He was my first. I have never been through something like this before.

I am only three days in, and I am aware that the pain wont magically disappear in a few days. But when can i truly start to expect some change? Its so hard as of right now. I feel so depleted, and just so empty. I need something to look forward to. He was my first. I have never been through something like this before.

Its so hard to process this alone.

We were in a long distance relationship. We were supposed to be meeting in September after months of only being connected online. Despite everything being online, I grew so deeply attached to him. We met in such unexpected ways, and neither of us would’ve ever imagined that things would escalate between us.

But now, i lost both a great friend, and a great boyfriend. I woke up blocked on Sunday Morning. We weren’t really communicating much in the week prior, because both of us were busy with Uni related work. I had exams, and he had his own set of assignments and projects to be working on. I was excited for the weekends, because i thought that i’d finally get to speak to him properly now that my exams were over. But i noticed that my texts wouldn’t go through. I attempted multiple means to contact him, but to no avail.

I was left so distraught, so confused because nothing really happened for him to abruptly cut me off like that. We were doing perfectly fine before all that.
I tried calling him multiple times on Monday, sent multiple dms on other apps where we were connected, and even emailed him. I basically had to beg him for clarity, as pathetic as it sounds.

It wasn’t until Monday evening that he finally reached out to me via email, and i got slight bit of the clarity that i so desperately wanted. I dont know if i believe the things he said in the email. I dont know if his feelings simply changed and he chose to make up something in order to not hurt me. He ended it with, “Please take care of yourself”. The finality in it hurt so much. But that’s about it. I got nothing more.
I have been doing horrible ever since. Nothing feels the same. He’s consuming my mind, and i just feel so depleted.

I just dont know if i’ll ever find someone else like him. I am not concerned about “replacements”, i am just scared that the void he left behind will forever be there. I dont think anyone will ever feel the same. No one can be him. No one can speak the way he did. No one can share the exact same humour. No one can respond the way he does. No one can laugh the way he does. No one can have the exact perks as him. I dont want these things from someone else. I want it all from him. Its him who made these ordinary things so special. Why did it have to end this way? Is this truly the end?
In the past months, i dont think there was ever a day spent where i did not think about him, where he did not cross my mind.

God, I just want things to be normal again. I just want him so bad. It hurts so much.
He was genuinely all i ever looked for in a person. I thought we had the perfect compatibility, even if “perfect” isnt supposed to be used in the literal sense here.

He shared similar views as me, laughed at similar things as me, listened to similar songs as me, had a similar childhood as me, and so much more. It truly felt like we were meant to cross paths.
Hell, we lived cities apart. Yet, we crossed paths in such an unexpected way.

There were so many moments that made me feel like he too valued that we crossed paths like this. Maybe it was all too good to be true? Maybe thats how it was supposed to end. Maybe it was only to teach me a lesson. I dont appreciate it. I dont know why life does this to me. I dont know why it gives me a taste of something, gets me addicted, and then immediately steals it away from me.

How could he be okay after letting all that go? Did he truly already move on? Is it genuinely not affecting him? Is he able to function and get me off of his mind? I hope he hasnt already forgotten me, and moved on.

i know that if he reaches out, i’ll respond.
I am so tired.

Its so hard to unlearn things about someone. I loved when he shared stuff with me, i loved the feeling of remembering things about him. But what now? The more I remember, the more it hurts me. Its not even about the huge things he shared. How can i unlearn those little things? Those are so much more specific, so much more him, so much more intimate. How can i unlearn that?

Those little things are so much harder to forget.
He also taught me so much about his culture. He taught me things in his language too. I grew fond of his culture, as well. He was the first person from that culture that i interacted with, and i got to experience everything first hand from him. Now, i associate the culture with him.

I know the kind of music he likes to listen to, i know the YouTube channels he watches, i memorised his routine, i knew when to expect him. How do i unlearn all of this? How do i unlearn the fact that once the clock would strike a certain hour, he’d start getting so sleepy, the typos in his text would increase, and sometimes, he’d just fall asleep in the middle of the conversation and would return the next morning, telling me he fell asleep. I noticed patterns, and I’d immediately know when he’d start growing sleepier, all that i learnt through the habit of speaking to him.

How can this be easy for him? How does it not affect him? How can he so easily let this go? How can he drop this? Did i never matter to him? Was i the only one who was invested?

i wish we hadnt crossed paths. I wish i hadnt met him. I wish i hadnt known what romantic love feels like, because he was my first. I wish i didnt grow this attached. I wish i never knew him. Maybe, i wouldnt have been here then. Its not because he doesnt matter. Its because he matters so much, that the pain is just too much now.
It sounds cruel, but maybe, i wouldnt be hurting like this, right now?
Things didnt go as per plan, anyways.

I need to move on. I need to let go. I need to allow myself to accept it, i need to stop holding on. He probably already did. I dont even know.
I truly need to live for myself. Its just, for so long, everything i did was somehow related to him. He was somehow always on my mind. Always. Always.

Doing skincare? “I wanna take care of myself for him”.

Learning to cook? “I wanna make things for him.”

Studying harder? “I want him to be proud of me.”

Exploring new places? “I wanna know my city properly, so i can show him around when he comes here.”

Learning new things? “I wanna show him what i learnt, and share it with him.”

Saving a new meme? “I know he’ll laugh at this one”.

Saving a slot in the evening? “He usually shows up around this time”.

Clicking pictures of what i am doing and the things around me? “I can show this to him when we talk later, so he knows what i was up to”.

Now what? So many stories he didnt get to hear. So many pictures he never saw. So many memes I never sent. So much of so many things.

The finality in, “please take care” feels like a punch to the face. Knocks the wind right out of me.
Is it really just that easy for him?

How could he drop things like this after being the one to keep saying, “we’ll work it out.”, “we have to figure things out”, “we’ll always figure it out”. Why did he not try to figure it out then? Was i no more worth the effort?
He’d tell me how he was taking better care of himself so he could be the best version when we’d meet.
Man.
This is so sad.

This is so hard.
Why does life take such turns? Did i truly imagine all of this?

I just had to get it out. I am sorry if this is not perfectly written. I am in tears as i type all of this out, and i truly dont have the energy to go over this again. I just needed to release this.

(Vent/rant)

Its so hard to process this alone.
We were in a long distance relationship. We were supposed to be meeting in September after months of only being connected online. Despite everything being online, I grew so deeply attached to him. We met in such unexpected ways, and neither of us would’ve ever imagined that things would escalate between us.

But now, i lost both a great friend, and a great boyfriend. I woke up blocked on Sunday Morning. We weren’t really communicating much in the week prior, because both of us were busy with Uni related work. I had exams, and he had his own set of assignments and projects to be working on. I was excited for the weekends, because i thought that i’d finally get to speak to him properly now that my exams were over. But i noticed that my texts wouldn’t go through. I attempted multiple means to contact him, but to no avail.

I was left so distraught, so confused because nothing really happened for him to abruptly cut me off like that. We were doing perfectly fine before all that.
I tried calling him multiple times on Monday, sent multiple dms on other apps where we were connected, and even emailed him. I basically had to beg him for clarity, as pathetic as it sounds.

It wasn’t until Monday evening that he finally reached out to me via email, and i got slight bit of the clarity that i so desperately wanted. I dont know if i believe the things he said in the email. I dont know if his feelings simply changed and he chose to make up something in order to not hurt me. He ended it with, “Please take care of yourself”. The finality in it hurt so much. But that’s about it. I got nothing more.
I have been doing horrible ever since. Nothing feels the same. He’s consuming my mind, and i just feel so depleted.

I just dont know if i’ll ever find someone else like him. I am not concerned about “replacements”, i am just scared that the void he left behind will forever be there. I dont think anyone will ever feel the same. No one can be him. No one can speak the way he did. No one can share the exact same humour. No one can respond the way he does. No one can laugh the way he does. No one can have the exact perks as him. I dont want these things from someone else. I want it all from him. Its him who made these ordinary things so special. Why did it have to end this way? Is this truly the end?
In the past months, i dont think there was ever a day spent where i did not think about him, where he did not cross my mind.

God, I just want things to be normal again. I just want him so bad. It hurts so much.
He was genuinely all i ever looked for in a person. I thought we had the perfect compatibility, even if “perfect” isnt supposed to be used in the literal sense here.

He shared similar views as me, laughed at similar things as me, listened to similar songs as me, had a similar childhood as me, and so much more. It truly felt like we were meant to cross paths.
Hell, we lived cities apart. Yet, we crossed paths in such an unexpected way.

There were so many moments that made me feel like he too valued that we crossed paths like this. Maybe it was all too good to be true? Maybe thats how it was supposed to end. Maybe it was only to teach me a lesson. I dont appreciate it. I dont know why life does this to me. I dont know why it gives me a taste of something, gets me addicted, and then immediately steals it away from me.

How could he be okay after letting all that go? Did he truly already move on? Is it genuinely not affecting him? Is he able to function and get me off of his mind? I hope he hasnt already forgotten me, and moved on.

i know that if he reaches out, i’ll respond.
I am so tired.

Its so hard to unlearn things about someone. I loved when he shared stuff with me, i loved the feeling of remembering things about him. But what now? The more I remember, the more it hurts me. Its not even about the huge things he shared. How can i unlearn those little things? Those are so much more specific, so much more him, so much more intimate. How can i unlearn that?

Those little things are so much harder to forget.
He also taught me so much about his culture. He taught me things in his language too. I grew fond of his culture, as well. He was the first person from that culture that i interacted with, and i got to experience everything first hand from him. Now, i associate the culture with him.

I know the kind of music he likes to listen to, i know the YouTube channels he watches, i memorised his routine, i knew when to expect him. How do i unlearn all of this? How do i unlearn the fact that once the clock would strike a certain hour, he’d start getting so sleepy, the typos in his text would increase, and sometimes, he’d just fall asleep in the middle of the conversation and would return the next morning, telling me he fell asleep. I noticed patterns, and I’d immediately know when he’d start growing sleepier, all that i learnt through the habit of speaking to him.

How can this be easy for him? How does it not affect him? How can he so easily let this go? How can he drop this? Did i never matter to him? Was i the only one who was invested?

i wish we hadnt crossed paths. I wish i hadnt met him. I wish i hadnt known what romantic love feels like, because he was my first. I wish i didnt grow this attached. I wish i never knew him. Maybe, i wouldnt have been here then. Its not because he doesnt matter. Its because he matters so much, that the pain is just too much now.
It sounds cruel, but maybe, i wouldnt be hurting like this, right now?
Things didnt go as per plan, anyways.

I need to move on. I need to let go. I need to allow myself to accept it, i need to stop holding on. He probably already did. I dont even know.
I truly need to live for myself. Its just, for so long, everything i did was somehow related to him. He was somehow always on my mind. Always. Always.

Doing skincare? “I wanna take care of myself for him”.

Learning to cook? “I wanna make things for him.”

Studying harder? “I want him to be proud of me.”

Exploring new places? “I wanna know my city properly, so i can show him around when he comes here.”

Learning new things? “I wanna show him what i learnt, and share it with him.”

Saving a new meme? “I know he’ll laugh at this one”.

Saving a slot in the evening? “He usually shows up around this time”.

Clicking pictures of what i am doing and the things around me? “I can show this to him when we talk later, so he knows what i was up to”.

Now what? So many stories he didnt get to hear. So many pictures he never saw. So many memes I never sent. So much of so many things.

The finality in, “please take care” feels like a punch to the face. Knocks the wind right out of me.
Is it really just that easy for him?

How could he drop things like this after being the one to keep saying, “we’ll work it out.”, “we have to figure things out”, “we’ll always figure it out”. Why did he not try to figure it out then? Was i no more worth the effort?
He’d tell me how he was taking better care of himself so he could be the best version when we’d meet.
Man.
This is so sad.

This is so hard.
Why does life take such turns? Did i truly imagine all of this?

I just had to get it out. I am sorry if this is not perfectly written. I am in tears as i type all of this out, and i truly dont have the energy to go over this again. I just needed to release this.

He recently moved to Uni, and his availability shifted drastically. I was still willing to adjust, and we were somehow managing on a few texts here and there, and a call or two per week. Things seemed completely fine. I do have the tendency to overthink, so I communicated with him, and he consoled me multiple times that nothing had changed, he still had feelings for me, and it was just that he had grown very busy.
Not long ago, we also talked about slowing things down for a little bit so both of us could focus on our studies. He also mentioned coming to my city, and kept talking about meeting me here.
Then, i got busy with exams. Last week was hectic for me, and i had no time to myself. Neither of us exchanged any texts, but i didnt think of it to be unusual, because we were both busy. I had my mind made that once i was done with my exams, i’d text him about it. Also, i had previously mentioned that my exams would start from Monday(i.e., the previous Monday), so i didnt just randomly disappear.
Anyways, yesterday morning, when i woke up and checked my phone, i saw that he had blocked me on WhatsApp. I was planning to text him in the morning, but i was already blocked.
We had exchanged emails, discord, and i also have his reddit, in case we ever had to switch platforms. But he wasnt responding to me on those platforms as well. I did try to call him, but he did not pick up.
I dont know what happened, or what changed. This was so abrupt. I didnt even get an explanation. I dont know what to do, anymore. Its like this weird limbo state where i feel stuck. I have made all attempts at reaching out to him, but all in vain.
Its like everything we had was fake, because how can he drop me like this on a random morning and move on with his life?
Anyways, its been over 24 hours and nothing has changed. And i think i should just accept it and come to terms with it. Its just incredibly difficult, and very hard to digest.

He recently moved to Uni, and his availability shifted drastically. I was still willing to adjust, and we were somehow managing on a few texts here and there, and a call or two per week. Things seemed completely fine. I do have the tendency to overthink, so I communicated with him, and he consoled me multiple times that nothing had changed, he still had feelings for me, and it was just that he had grown very busy.
Not long ago, we also talked about slowing things down for a little bit so both of us could focus on our studies. He also mentioned coming to my city, and kept talking about meeting me here.
Then, i got busy with exams. Last week was hectic for me, and i had no time to myself. Neither of us exchanged any texts, but i didnt think of it to be unusual, because we were both busy. I had my mind made that once i was done with my exams, i’d text him about it. Also, i had previously mentioned that my exams would start from Monday(i.e., the previous Monday), so i didnt just randomly disappear.
Anyways, yesterday morning, when i woke up and checked my phone, i saw that he had blocked me on WhatsApp. I was planning to text him in the morning, but i was already blocked.
We had exchanged emails, discord, and i also have his reddit, in case we ever had to switch platforms. But he wasnt responding to me on those platforms as well. I did try to call him, but he did not pick up.
I dont know what happened, or what changed. This was so abrupt. I didnt even get an explanation. I dont know what to do, anymore. Its like this weird limbo state where i feel stuck. I have made all attempts at reaching out to him, but all in vain.
Its like everything we had was fake, because how can he drop me like this on a random morning and move on with his life?
Anyways, its been over 24 hours and nothing has changed. And i think i should just accept it and come to terms with it. Its just incredibly difficult, and very hard to digest.

He recently moved to Uni, and his availability shifted drastically. I was still willing to adjust, and we were somehow managing on a few texts here and there, and a call or two per week. Things seemed completely fine. I do have the tendency to overthink, so I communicated with him, and he consoled me multiple times that nothing had changed, he still had feelings for me, and it was just that he had grown very busy.
Not long ago, we also talked about slowing things down for a little bit so both of us could focus on our studies. He also mentioned coming to my city, and kept talking about meeting me here.
Then, i got busy with exams. Last week was hectic for me, and i had no time to myself. Neither of us exchanged any texts, but i didnt think of it to be unusual, because we were both busy. I had my mind made that once i was done with my exams, i’d text him about it. Also, i had previously mentioned that my exams would start from Monday(i.e., the previous Monday), so i didnt just randomly disappear.
Anyways, yesterday morning, when i woke up and checked my phone, i saw that he had blocked me on WhatsApp. I was planning to text him in the morning, but i was already blocked.
We had exchanged emails, discord, and i also have his reddit, in case we ever had to switch platforms. But he wasnt responding to me on those platforms as well. I did try to call him, but he did not pick up.
I dont know what happened, or what changed. This was so abrupt. I didnt even get an explanation. I dont know what to do, anymore. Its like this weird limbo state where i feel stuck. I have made all attempts at reaching out to him, but all in vain.
Its like everything we had was fake, because how can he drop me like this on a random morning and move on with his life?
Anyways, its been over 24 hours and nothing has changed. And i think i should just accept it and come to terms with it. Its just incredibly difficult, and very hard to digest.

I have been struggling to live for as long as I remember. Growing up, i had an abusive alcoholic father who ruined both mine and my mother’s life. I dont remember the last time i was truly okay.
But despite all of this, i at least had my boyfriend (whom i met this year). I felt truly safe with him, and for the first time in years, i found myself feeling so content. With him there, i finally started looking forward to my days.
But yesterday, after a busy week(with college) for both of us where we barely communicated, i woke up blocked. I dont know what happened, i got no explanation, i got nothing. Just a cold, hard block to my face.
I did all i could to contact him yesterday, but to no avail. I dont know what changed, i dont know what happened, but i feel so empty now. I am still blocked, and i still have no explanation. He was the one thing that made me feel happy, and now, even that is gone.
Of all the different kinds of pain i have experienced, i have never felt this way. He was my first, and I dont know how to cope. I truly feel depleted and hopeless, right now.
How could he just block and dip like this? How could he cut me off like this? And worst thing, we were LDR, so i cant even physically confront him, right now. This feels like a sick, cruel prank. Was it never serious for him?
We were just fine a week ago. And, he was also making plans to come meet me in person, soon. Then what went wrong?
I dont know how to cope with this. I feel so lost. My chest hurts, and its like he’s consuming my mind. The lack of clarity is truly haunting me. The whiplash is maddening. Please help me out.

I have been struggling to live for as long as I remember. Growing up, i had an abusive alcoholic father who ruined both mine and my mother’s life. I dont remember the last time i was truly okay.
But despite all of this, i at least had my boyfriend (whom i met this year). I felt truly safe with him, and for the first time in years, i found myself feeling so content. With him there, i finally started looking forward to my days.
But yesterday, after a busy week(with college) for both of us where we barely communicated, i woke up blocked. I dont know what happened, i got no explanation, i got nothing. Just a cold, hard block to my face.
I did all i could to contact him yesterday, but to no avail. I dont know what changed, i dont know what happened, but i feel so empty now. I am still blocked, and i still have no explanation. He was the one thing that made me feel happy, and now, even that is gone.
Of all the different kinds of pain i have experienced, i have never felt this way. He was my first, and I dont know how to cope. I truly feel depleted and hopeless, right now.
How could he just block and dip like this? How could he cut me off like this? And worst thing, we were LDR, so i cant even physically confront him, right now. This feels like a sick, cruel prank. Was it never serious for him?
We were just fine a week ago. And, he was also making plans to come meet me in person, soon. Then what went wrong.
I dont know how to cope with this. I feel so lost. My chest hurts, and its like he’s consuming my mind. The lack of clarity is truly haunting me. The whiplash is maddening. Please help me out. How do i navigate this situation?

I (17F)have been struggling mentally for quite some time now.

A lot of it comes from my childhood. I grew up with a father who had substance abuse problems. There was constant noise around me at all times, because my parents were always arguing. I feel like I was kind of doomed from the very beginning.

I have been working towards trying to forgive my parents, but it’s not an easy path.

Despite all the chaos, my family thinks I am doing fine. My mother had to get therapy due to my father. I was never asked about how I was doing, instead, I was forced into this role of trying to pick up after my father.
Now, I am pursuing a degree my mother chose for me, studying for subjects I have zero interest in.
Throughout my life, I had no autonomy, and now, it’s really taking a toll on me. I feel trapped, I feel like my days are just passing by, and I find no joy in anything at all.

I wanna speak out about how much I am struggling, and wanna open up to my family. But I am very scared to do so. I have had breakdowns in front of them over my academics before, but I wasn’t really able to get any help.

I do think I need professional help, but I don’t know how to convince my family for it. At the end of the day, I am not earning, and it’d have to be them who handle all the expenses.

I feel like such a burden.

I also am quite ashamed to admit things about my childhood(my father’s addiction and all that revolved around it) so I dont really share such things with my friends. I feel like when I am with my friends, thats the only time I can avoid bringing my family life into my head, so I try not to let it ruin things.

How did you guys ask for help from your parents?

I (17F)have been struggling mentally for quite some time now.

A lot of it comes from my childhood. I grew up with a father who had substance abuse problems. There was constant noise around me at all times, because my parents were always arguing. I feel like I was kind of doomed from the very beginning.

I have been working towards trying to forgive my parents, but it’s not an easy path.

Despite all the chaos, my family thinks I am doing fine. My mother had to get therapy due to my father. I was never asked about how I was doing, instead, I was forced into this role of trying to pick up after my father.
Now, I am pursuing a degree my mother chose for me, studying for subjects I have zero interest in.
Throughout my life, I had no autonomy, and now, it’s really taking a toll on me. I feel trapped, I feel like my days are just passing by, and I find no joy in anything at all.

I wanna speak out about how much I am struggling, and wanna open up to my family. But I am very scared to do so. I have had breakdowns in front of them over my academics before, but I wasn’t really able to get any help.

I do think I need professional help, but I don’t know how to convince my family for it. At the end of the day, I am not earning, and it’d have to be them who handle all the expenses.

I feel like such a burden.

I also am quite ashamed to admit things about my childhood(my father’s addiction and all that revolved around it) so I dont really share such things with my friends. I feel like when I am with my friends, thats the only time I can avoid bringing my family life into my head, so I try not to let it ruin things.

How did you guys ask for help from your parents?

I (17F) have been struggling mentally for quite some time now.

A lot of it comes from my childhood. I grew up with a father who had substance abuse problems. There was constant noise around me at all times, because my parents were always arguing. I feel like I was kind of doomed from the very beginning.

I have been working towards trying to forgive my parents, but it’s not an easy path.

Despite all the chaos, my family thinks I am doing fine. My mother had to get therapy due to my father. I was never asked about how I was doing, instead, I was forced into this role of trying to pick up after my father.
Now, I am pursuing a degree my mother chose for me, studying for subjects I have zero interest in.
Throughout my life, I had no autonomy, and now, it’s really taking a toll on me. I feel trapped, I feel like my days are just passing by, and I find no joy in anything at all.

I wanna speak out about how much I am struggling, and wanna open up to my family. But I am very scared to do so. I have had breakdowns in front of them over my academics before, but I wasn’t really able to get any help.

I do think I need professional help, but I don’t know how to convince my family for it. At the end of the day, I am not earning, and it’d have to be them who handle all the expenses.

I feel like such a burden.

I also am quite ashamed to admit things about my childhood(my father’s addiction and all that revolved around it) so I dont really share such things with my friends. I feel like when I am with my friends, thats the only time I can avoid bringing my family life into my head, so I try not to let it ruin things.

How did you guys ask for help from your parents?

I (17) have been struggling mentally for quite some time now.

A lot of it comes from my childhood. I grew up with a father who had substance abuse problems. There was constant noise around me at all times, because my parents were always arguing. I feel like I was kind of doomed from the very beginning.

I have been working towards trying to forgive my parents, but it’s not an easy path.

Despite all the chaos, my family thinks I am doing fine. My mother had to get therapy due to my father. I was never asked about how I was doing, instead, I was forced into this role of trying to pick up after my father.
Now, I am pursuing a degree my mother chose for me, studying for subjects I have zero interest in.
Throughout my life, I had no autonomy, and now, it’s really taking a toll on me. I feel trapped, I feel like my days are just passing by, and I find no joy in anything at all.

I wanna speak out about how much I am struggling, and wanna open up to my family. But I am very scared to do so. I have had breakdowns in front of them over my academics before, but I wasn’t really able to get any help.

I do think I need professional help, but I don’t know how to convince my family for it. At the end of the day, I am not earning, and it’d have to be them who handle all the expenses.

I feel like such a burden.

I also am quite ashamed to admit things about my childhood(my father’s addiction and all that revolved around it) so I dont really share such things with my friends. I feel like when I am with my friends, thats the only time I can avoid bringing my family life into my head, so I try not to let it ruin things.

How did you guys ask for help from your parents?

TL;DR:
My boyfriend and i are in a new long distance relationship, and since preparing to move to university, our conversations have significantly dropped(sometimes extending to over a day with no texts or calls). He keeps apologising and says its temporary, but I am struggling with loneliness and cant help but wonder if this is just temporary or the beginning of a lasting change in our relationship. I dont want to burden him while he’s busy, so i am trying to understand the situation before jumping to conclusions.

I(18F) am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend(18M). This is my very first relationship.

We have known each other for a few months, and officially started dating a month ago. Before he even asked me to be his girlfriend, we were already spending hours together every single day, whether it was calling or texting. We got incredibly comfortable together, so it doesnt feel like complete strangers who have been together only for a few weeks.

Our communication was genuinely good, earlier. There were calls, texts throughout the day, random inclusion, and all other things that made me feel incredibly secure. There was also predictability. As in, i could trust him enough to know that he’d show up at a certain hour, after he was done with his other tasks of the day.

However, the problem started about two weeks ago. He is moving to Uni soon, and well, during one of our calls, he explicitly said that he wouldnt be able to spend much time with me for a bit because he’d get busy with all the packing and planning and stuff.
I completely understood where he was coming from, and was fine, as long as there was still something here and there for me to know what he was up to, and how he was doing. Initially, he was still taking the time out to text me during the mornings, and then would come back in the evening.
Unfortunately, after a certain point, the communication dropped significantly. He stopped sending anything in in the morning, and he wasnt able to show up in the evenings. He’d respond to my morning texts straight at night, and sometimes, i wont get a response at all until the very next day.

He has been apologizing for not spending enough time with me, and even dropped a paragraph last Wednesday afternoon, telling me he was sorry, that he misses me, and that this(as in, the hectic period) would go on until a certain date.
Again, i completely understood, because i know this is a huge transition in his life.
What i am struggling with, however, is the loneliness that this communication pattern is creating.

He still tells me that he loves me, apologizes for not texting much, and says things like “i’ll text tomorrow”, but those conversations never really happen. Most days, i get either something very short(“i am so tired. Baby, i’ll text tomorrow”), or absolutely nothing at all.
I am not expecting him to spend hours on me, especially during such a phase of his life. Its just, i feel like i am very out of the loop. Since we also live in different cities, the only way for us to stay connected is via texting or calling, and well, that’s clearly lacking a lot, right now.

I feel like as a girlfriend, i know nothing about whats going on. Even something as quick as “reached safely”, “still packing”, “working on xyz” would make me feel connected. Its less about the time being spent on me, and more about feeling like he chooses to let me into his day.

I dont think he’s a bad person for being unavailable, nor am i accusing him of intentionally hurting me or cheating.
My worry is more whether this level of communication is just temporary because of the move, or whether this is what our relationship is going to look like from now on.

I havent brought up this loneliness to him, of course. I wouldnt add onto his worries when he’s already going through a major life transition. I just cant help but wonder if this is the new normal. I know he gave me a date, but what guarantees anything different even after that?

I am also quite an insecure person, and i cant help but turn these inwards. I keep thinking he’s losing interest, or that he no longer wants me involved in his life. Which might be a huge leap, but there really hasnt been much for me to hold onto. As the days pass, the communication only drops. Also, i feel guilty for not exactly knowing whats going on in his life concerning the move and stuff.
But then again, i wouldnt know until he volunteers to share stuff with me.

I am still trying my best to be there for him. I have been sending him messages about the move, i still show up during the mornings, even when i know I’ll probably not even get a response back until much later, and i have done everything i could possibly do while being in an LDR to show my support for this phase of his life. I also did not wanna guilt him in any manner, hence, i never mentioned how i have been feeling. I want this period to be his, i want him to spend time with his family and friends before he officially moves away from home.

But that doesn’t help with the loneliness i feel. I do miss him a lot. Also earlier, when i’d miss him, i’d look back at old texts, or go through old voicenotes, and it’d at least make me smile. Unfortunately, i lost all my text messages, all the pictures exchanged, and all the voice notes. So now, i dont even have that.

Has anyone here been through something similar where your partner suddenly became much less available during a major transition? How did you tell the difference between temporary stress and genuine loss of interest? And if you were the busy partner, what was going through your mind during that time?

I just want to understand this situation better, so i dont end up coming to unfair confusions. I really like this guy a lot and want this to work out. Please, help me navigate this phase of my first relationship.

I(18F) am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend(18M). This is my very first relationship.

We have known each other for a few months, and officially started dating a month ago. Before he even asked me to be his girlfriend, we were already spending hours together every single day, whether it was calling or texting. We got incredibly comfortable together, so it doesnt feel like complete strangers who have been together only for a few weeks.

Our communication was genuinely good, earlier. There were calls, texts throughout the day, random inclusion, and all other things that made me feel incredibly secure. There was also predictability. As in, i could trust him enough to know that he’d show up at a certain hour, after he was done with his other tasks of the day.

However, the problem started about two weeks ago. He is moving to Uni soon, and well, during one of our calls, he explicitly said that he wouldnt be able to spend much time with me for a bit because he’d get busy with all the packing and planning and stuff.
I completely understood where he was coming from, and was fine, as long as there was still something here and there for me to know what he was up to, and how he was doing. Initially, he was still taking the time out to text me during the mornings, and then would come back in the evening.
Unfortunately, after a certain point, the communication dropped significantly. He stopped sending anything in in the morning, and he wasnt able to show up in the evenings. He’d respond to my morning texts straight at night, and sometimes, i wont get a response at all until the very next day.

He has been apologizing for not spending enough time with me, and even dropped a paragraph last Wednesday afternoon, telling me he was sorry, that he misses me, and that this(as in, the hectic period) would go on until a certain date.
Again, i completely understood, because i know this is a huge transition in his life.
What i am struggling with, however, is the loneliness that this communication pattern is creating.

He still tells me that he loves me, apologizes for not texting much, and says things like “i’ll text tomorrow”, but those conversations never really happen. Most days, i get either something very short(“i am so tired. Baby, i’ll text tomorrow”), or absolutely nothing at all.
I am not expecting him to spend hours on me, especially during such a phase of his life. Its just, i feel like i am very out of the loop. Since we also live in different cities, the only way for us to stay connected is via texting or calling, and well, that’s clearly lacking a lot, right now.

I feel like as a girlfriend, i know nothing about whats going on. Even something as quick as “reached safely”, “still packing”, “working on xyz” would make me feel connected. Its less about the time being spent on me, and more about feeling like he chooses to let me into his day.

I dont think he’s a bad person for being unavailable, nor am i accusing him of intentionally hurting me or cheating.
My worry is more whether this level of communication is just temporary because of the move, or whether this is what our relationship is going to look like from now on.

I havent brought up this loneliness to him, of course. I wouldnt add onto his worries when he’s already going through a major life transition. I just cant help but wonder if this is the new normal. I know he gave me a date, but what guarantees anything different even after that?

I am also quite an insecure person, and i cant help but turn these inwards. I keep thinking he’s losing interest, or that he no longer wants me involved in his life. Which might be a huge leap, but there really hasnt been much for me to hold onto. As the days pass, the communication only drops. Also, i feel guilty for not exactly knowing whats going on in his life concerning the move and stuff.
But then again, i wouldnt know until he volunteers to share stuff with me.

I am still trying my best to be there for him. I have been sending him messages about the move, i still show up during the mornings, even when i know I’ll probably not even get a response back until much later, and i have done everything i could possibly do while being in an LDR to show my support for this phase of his life. I also did not wanna guilt him in any manner, hence, i never mentioned how i have been feeling. I want this period to be his, i want him to spend time with his family and friends before he officially moves away from home.

But that doesn’t help with the loneliness i feel. I do miss him a lot. Also earlier, when i’d miss him, i’d look back at old texts, or go through old voicenotes, and it’d at least make me smile. Unfortunately, i lost all my text messages, all the pictures exchanged, and all the voice notes. So now, i dont even have that.

Has anyone here been through something similar where your partner suddenly became much less available during a major transition? How did you tell the difference between temporary stress and genuine loss of interest? And if you were the busy partner, what was going through your mind during that time?

I just want to understand this situation better, so i dont end up coming to unfair confusions. I really like this guy a lot and want this to work out. Please, help me navigate this phase of my first relationship.

I tried calling Tele-Manas today after loads of contemplation because I felt hopeless. I dialed 1 for english, there was ringing, until someone eventually picked up, and then there was only radio silence.
i waited for someone to speak after i tried with a "hello?", but these guys just hung up a few minutes later, having said nothing.
Then I tried again, someone picked up, and this guy goes, "can you speak in hindi or marathi? I am not comfortable speaking English", i simply said, "but i had dialed 1..?" And the guy goes, "alright wait, I'll get you an english speaking counselor."
I waited for quite some time, until they eventually hung up AGAIN!
Dude, what the hell?
I mean, at least it distracted me, i guess. But at what cost? Because now, i wasnt just down, i was also frustrated.
What if an emergency caller took that silence as a sign to give up?
What kind of negligence is this? This is just careless.
I don’t even wanna try again after this experience.

I tried calling Tele-Manas today after loads of contemplation because I felt hopeless. I dialed 1 for english, there was ringing, until someone eventually picked up, and then there was only radio silence.
i waited for someone to speak after i tried with a "hello?", but these guys just hung up a few minutes later, having said nothing.
Then I tried again, someone picked up, and this guy goes, "can you speak in hindi or marathi? I am not comfortable speaking English", i simply said, "but i had dialed 1..?" And the guy goes, "alright wait, I'll get you an english counselor."
I waited for quite some time, until they eventually hung up AGAIN!
Dude, what the hell?
I mean, at least it distracted me, i guess. But at what cost?
What if i was at my very worst, and was making my final attempt to reach out? I couldve taken that as a sign. What kind of negligence is this? This is just careless.
I don’t even wanna try again after this experience.