u/BeyondTheFirewall

Looking back, a lot of what we learned early on came from porn, rumors or movies which usually turns out to be completely unrealistic. For the guys who are in 30s or more experienced, what is the biggest realization you had that completely changed how you view intimacy, pleasure and relationships?

I will go first: Back then, I used to think intimacy was all about performance and duration, mostly because of the media I consumed. Now I realize that genuine comfort and emotional connection with your partner make it 100 times better than any performance metric.

We mostly talk about what women want or need but I feel like the male perspective on intimacy gets oversimplified or outright ignored.

Whether it is the constant pressure to perform, the misconception that guys are always "ready to go" or the need for emotional safety to actually enjoy intimacy, there is a lot that goes unsaid.

What are the emotional or physical aspects of sex that you feel go completely unnoticed by your female partners? What do you wish you could tell them without feeling judged? Let’s talk.

I will go first: for me, it is definitely the unspoken pressure to always initiate. It makes you feel like intimacy is a task you are solely responsible for, rather than a shared connection.

Can we talk about how this sub has officially turned into a LinkedIn comment section for freshers?

I joined this community to discuss actual startup mechanics, GTM strategies, funding winter survival or even just to find people building interesting stuff in the city. Instead, every time I open my feed, it is a wall of:

• "Final year student, please give me internship in AI/ML."
• "Looking for any job in Bangalore, salary no bar."
• "Hire me for free, I just want to learn."

I get it. The job market is absolute chaos right now. But there are literally dozens of other subs specifically for that. This was supposed to be a space for builders and founders to talk shop. Now, if someone actually posts a technical question or a "0 to 1" challenge, it gets buried under fifty resumes from people who haven't even read the sub rules.

It is honestly exhausting. It has gone from "How do I scale my SaaS infrastructure?" to "Please sir, check DM for my portfolio." At this point, we should just rename the sub to BangaloreInternships and be done with it.

Can we please get some actual moderation or a dedicated megathread so those of us actually building things don't have to scroll through a thousand "Referral please" posts just to find a decent conversation?

I was sitting at a cafe in Bangalore last night, just reading a book and grabbing a cappuccino by myself and it hit me how hard it is to actually "exist" in public anymore without it being a transaction.

Back in college, you could just hang out at a tea stall or a park and meet people organically. Now, if you aren't on an app or at a loud club, it feels like everyone is in their own bubble. I’ve tried the whole "join a hobby club" thing but even those feel like networking events now.

To the guys here who have actually managed to build a social life or meet people offline in metro cities like Bangalore: how are you doing it? Are we just relegated to swiping until our thumbs hurt or is there a secret "manual" for meeting people in the wild that I missed?

Also, curious if the women lurking here actually prefer being approached in person anymore or if that’s considered a "creep move" in 2026? Because the apps are honestly draining the soul out of dating.

Edit: Honestly, hearing these perspectives is making me realize how much we all crave real connection but are just too scared of the social fallout. If anyone (especially the Bangalore folks) has found a specific 'safe' spot where people actually talk, I’m all ears. My DMs are open if you’d rather not out your favorite hidden gem here!

I got tired of my phone feeling like a slot machine, so I went scorched earth on it. Deleted the Infinite Scroll apps, turned off every notification that wasn't a text or a call from a real person, and moved the "boring" utility apps to the main screen.

The first week sucked. I kept reaching for my pocket every time I was bored for two seconds. Even Insta and Reddit are now browser-only for me.

But 3 months in, the "brain fog" is actually clearing up. I’m not magically a 10x worker or anything but my ability to sit and think for 20 minutes without needing a dopamine hit is finally coming back. It turns out my "lack of discipline" was mostly just a poorly designed digital environment.

Curious if anyone else here has gone "low-tech" to save their focus. What was the one app you realized you actually couldn't live without?

I’ve always rocked a bit of stubble or a short beard and honestly, none of the women I’ve dated in the past ever seemed to mind. If anything, they usually liked the "rough" look.

But I met this Redditor last week and she was super blunt about it. She told me she prefers guys who are completely trimmed or clean-shaven because beards and moustaches are a "massive hassle" when it comes to kissing. According to her, it’s itchy, abrasive and ruins the mood.

Now I’m overthinking every time I look in the mirror.

Men of r/AskIndianMen:

1. Have you noticed a shift in what women are asking for lately? Are we moving back to the Chocolate Boy/clean-shaven look?
2. Has a partner ever actually complained that your facial hair makes kissing uncomfortable?

And ladies lurking here, please settle this: is the "beard tax" real? Does it actually hurt to kiss us or did I just find the one person with super sensitive skin?

Hello, we’re looking for Sales Interns to join our team here in Bangalore. We are an enterprise software distribution company and need folks who are ready to dive into the B2B sales cycle.

Please note the requirements before reaching out:

• This is a full-time, in-office role.
• We are only considering final-year students or recent graduates(any domain).
• Not open to 1st, 2nd or 3rd-year students as we need a full-time commitment.
• Please do not reach out asking for open roles in other domains.

The role covers the standard sales grind - lead gen, outreach, enterprise client follow-ups, sales closures. It’s a great way to learn how the tech business actually moves.

What we offer:

• Fixed monthly stipend + attractive incentives.
• Great learning environment and a fully stacked office.
• Clear PPO potential based on performance.

If you’re interested and meet the criteria, send me a DM with your resume link and I’ll share the JD and the application link.

Hello, we are looking for Sales Executive Interns for our office in Bangalore. We are an enterprise software distribution company and we are looking for folks who are ready to learn the ropes of B2B software sales.

Please check the eligibility carefully:

• This is a full-time, in-office role for 6 months.
• Only for final-year students or recent graduates.
• If you are in your 1st, 2nd, or 3rd year, please skip this for now as we need people available for full-time office hours.

The work involves the standard inside sales cycle - lead generation, outreach, following up and closing deals with enterprise clients. It is a good spot to be if you want to understand the business side of the tech industry.

What we offer:

• Fixed monthly stipend and attractive incentives.
• Great learning environment, fully stock office environment.
• High chance of a PPO based on your performance.

If you are interested and meet the criteria, send me a DM with a link to your resume. I will share the JD and the link to apply online. Goodluck!

Hello everyone, we are looking for Sales Executive Interns for our office in Bangalore. We are an enterprise software distribution company and we are looking for folks who are ready to execute B2B software sales.

Please read the eligibility carefully before reaching out:

• This is a full-time, in-office role for 6 months.
• We are only looking for final-year students or those who have already graduated.
• If you are in your 1st, 2nd, or 3rd year, please do not apply as we need people who can commit to full-time office hours.

The role involves the usual sales cycle - lead generation, outreach, following up with enterprise clients and closing deals. It is a solid opportunity if you want to see how the tech industry works on the business side.

What we offer:

• Monthly stipend with attractive sales incentives.
• Great learning environment and a fully stocked office environment.
• High chance of a PPO based on your performance.

If you are interested and meet the criteria, please send me a DM with a link to your resume. I will share the detailed JD and the link to apply online from there. Goodluck!

We always hear about the red flags, the "toxic" traits or the extreme deal-breakers. Let’s flip the script.

Beyond the usual "she’s kind" or "she’s funny" what is a specific trait you’ve encountered? Maybe something unique to our cultural context that made you realize and think "Okay, she’s a keeper?"

For me, it’s the "Intellectual Independence." There is nothing more attractive than a woman who has her own world, her own hobbies, a solid career and opinions that actually challenge mine. In a culture where we are often pushed toward "adjusting" and "compromising" everything, finding someone who maintains her own identity while being with you is a massive green flag. It turns a relationship from a routine into a genuine partnership.

What about you guys? What’s that one subtle green flag you’ve noticed?

We spend a lot of time on here talking about our struggles with careers, dating and family expectations. But I know for a fact that many of you are out here quietly winning. Maybe you finally got fit after years of being unhealthy or you singlehandedly pulled your family out of a financial crisis or you mastered a skill that everyone told you was too hard.

Whatever it is, I want to hear the success stories that usually stay hidden in your own head. No judgment, no humble bragging, just pure wins.

What is that one accomplishment that makes you feel like a king when you look in the mirror?

I will start. I managed to quit a long term habit cold turkey for the sake of my health and clarity and even though it was the hardest thing I have ever done, I rarely mention it to people in real life.

Your turn. What is your silent victory?

I’ve spent the last decade navigating trails from the deep ridges of the Western Ghats to the high-altitude passes of the Himalayas as a desk job worker in Bangalore. I see this sub flooded with the same questions every day: Which shoes are better? Is this 60L rucksack overkill? Should I buy carbon fiber trekking poles or aluminum?

I’m going to be blunt because someone has to say it: Your expensive Columbia jacket and your 10k Decathalon hiking shoes do not matter if you’re gasping for air 10 minutes into an incline.

We’ve romanticized the gear so much that beginners think a successful trek is bought at a Decathlon store. It’s not. I’ve seen locals climb 4000m peaks in rubber slippers carrying 20kg wooden baskets and I’ve seen "gear-heads" in top-tier brands get evacuated because their heart rate hit the roof on a moderate slope.

The only thing that determines whether you enjoy the mountains or suffer through them is your fitness.

If you want a successful trek, stop scrolling through Amazon and start hitting the stairs. You need two things:

1. Leg Strength: Your quads and calves are your engine. If they aren't conditioned for 6-8 hours of continuous load, your knees will give up on the descent, no matter how much "cushioning" your shoes have.
2. Cardiovascular Stamina: High altitude is a game of oxygen efficiency. If your lungs aren't trained to handle a high heart rate at sea level, you’re going to have a miserable time at 12,000 feet.

Safety measures are non-negotiable and decent shoes are helpful but gear is just a supplement. It’s not the foundation.

Train for a month before you pack your bag. Do the squats, run the 5ks and find some stairs to climb with a weighted pack. Your future self on the summit will thank you way more than your credit card statement will.

The mountains don't care what brand you're wearing. They only care if you've put in the work.

I have been thinking about how much we have normalized mediocrity in conversations. As a 40-year-old man in Bangalore I am at a stage where my BS filter is at an all-time high. I have unlearned the need to "simp" or chase and replaced it with a demand for actual substance. You are being judged and interviewed at every stage while the women hardly put in any effort.

It seems like the dating scene for men my age has split into two extremes. You are either dealing with the herculean effort of trying to spark life into a dead conversation or you are dealing with people who have the attention span of a goldfish. I am looking for the exception to the rule.

Is it too much to ask for a woman who is also settled in her career and knows exactly what she wants and understands that casual doesn't have to mean low effort? I would rather have one high-frequency conversation over coffee than a hundred dry DMs.

Where are the women who actually enjoy the "plotting" phase and can hold their own without needing an entertainer? Or has modern dating for women become low-effort greetings?

I am curious if other men in their late 30s or 40s are feeling this shift toward valuing time and quality over just "checking boxes" and if any women actually find this directness refreshing or just intimidating.

I’m seeing a massive surge of women making the "first move" by just dropping a two-letter greeting into my inbox with zero context or reference to my profile. It feels like you’re knocking on my door but when I open it, you’re just standing there silently waiting for me to entertain you.

If you’re bold enough to reach out, why leave the actual heavy lifting of building a connection to the guy? Does anyone else find this more annoying than flattering or am I just being cynical?

How do you guys usually handle these? Do you hit back with an equally dry "Hey" ignore them entirely or actually try to carry the team on your back?