u/Empress-Ghostheart

Luckily that part hosts most often which is why we ended up here in the first place, but when one of us others switch in there is so much expected of us that we simply cannot handle. our family doesn't notice our switches until it's an annoyance or problem for them, and that only happens well after they have ignored us and triggered us over and over and it's a much bigger problem for us.

We are all in agreement to mimic the host in front of our kids, but I guess some of us aren't the best actors and plus the fact that most of us are too fragile for all the noise and chaos and demands of family life means the act gets dropped after we just can't keep it up anymore and that's when we're "in trouble" for our "moods". We're trying! It's freaking hard!

I just want a little bit of freaking attunement in exchange for the constant vigilant upkeep and monitoring we do as a system to not make our issues our family's problem. That's apparently too much to freaking ask.

I was seeing "I read 3 books this month!" all over and was feeling so...dumb and lazy only being able to fit in maybe 40-60 pages a day (if I'm lucky). I was picturing people siting cozy for hours just reading and reading and picking up their books every spare moment. I couldn't imagine that my kids would ever give the kind of space that would allow for such numbers. I don't particularly need a high number of books read every year to feel like a reader, but seeing people talk about reading multiple books a month made me think they were the REAL readers and I'm just an amateur.....

and then I saw the phrase "read it on audiobook" and a huge thread of agreement and acknowledgement that that is how they are mostly consuming books these days and in that moment it actually made me laugh at myself for how silly I was being for comparing myself to others.

I'm not knocking audiobooks AT ALL, I think they are great and I'm glad everyone can be a reader no matter the limitations of their time or even physical limitations that may impact holding or seeing a physical book--yay for audiobooks!

That being said, I only read physical books and there is just no way I can consume a story reading it physically at the same rate as listening to it, and that is completely okay! I am still a reader even if I only get through 4 books a year, and they are still readers even if they are listening and get through 4 books a month! It's all valid, dude!

I've been feeling so much less pressure (from myself only, so silly) and have just been enjoying my book. I actually like that I get to spend a long time with a book before I'm done because they feel like a friend who has been with me everywhere for the last month (or 2, that's okay!).

I'm sharing in case anyone else is putting this kind of pressure on themselves and on a hobby we're supposed to be enjoying. Comparison truly is the thief of joy and I'm so glad I saw that post so I can let that go.