u/ExcitingLandscape

We recently put my father in law in a nursing home. Leading up to this he would spend 24/7 in a recliner watching tv, sleeping in that recliner EVERY night because it was too hard for him to get out of a bed. He also constantly drank alcohol all day, probably out of boredom. His physical condition was terrible and he could barely walk anywhere on his own. Simple things like going to the restroom, bathing, and feeding himself were extremely difficult. We didn’t know he was THIS bad until he got stuck IN the toilet for hours and his roommate had to call 911 to get him out.

That was 2-3 weeks ago and we got him into a very nice VA nursing home. Its very new, he has his own room, 3 hot meals a day, plenty of activities, and opportunity to socialize. But I get it’s not the same as home and having the freedom to do and go as you please. We hope that this place will improve his quality of life and not just have him rot away in a recliner watching fox news ALL day. That he will do PT to strengthen his body, get out and socialize with other guys, and just get out of his room.

Has a nursing home actually help your parents quality of life?

We recently put my father in law in a nursing home. Leading up to this he would spend 24/7 in a recliner watching tv, sleeping in that recliner EVERY night because it was too hard for him to get out of a bed. He also constantly drank alcohol all day, probably out of boredom. His physical condition was terrible and he could barely walk anywhere on his own. Simple things like going to the restroom, bathing, and feeding himself were extremely difficult. We didn’t know he was THIS bad until he got stuck IN the toilet for hours and his roommate had to call 911 to get him out.

That was 2-3 weeks ago and we got him into a very nice VA nursing home. Its very new, he has his own room, 3 hot meals a day, plenty of activities, and opportunity to socialize. But I get it’s not the same as home and having the freedom to do and go as you please. We hope that this place will improve his quality of life and not just have him rot away in a recliner watching fox news ALL day. That he will do PT to strengthen his body, get out and socialize with other guys, and just get out of his room.

Has a nursing home actually help your parents quality of life?

MacArthur was a BIG swing in effort to revitalize downtown Norfolk and turn it into a higher end shopping experience. It was doing well for a solid decade then in the 2010’s the cracks started to form. Many original stores closed and they were replaced with smaller mom and pop stores. The big nail in coffin was Nordstrom closing and it was downhill from there.

Many people argue that MacArthur was too ambitious for the local population. It was built on and around section 8 housing. Not really the population that would buy a $100 shirt at Nordstrom.

Since it opened, economic factors have really changed things. Everything has become more expensive since 1999. Housing has tripled if not more in price since then. 2 major economic events with the 2008 crash and the pandemic drastically changed things. Also like me much of the younger population that grew up in Hampton Roads moved away for better career opportunities that Hampton Roads didn’t provide. The economy of Hampton Roads is still very dependent on the military and outside of that there aren’t many career opportunities to keep local young professionals.

What do you think is the reason for MacArthurs demise?

My 83 yr old father in law was recently put into a nursing home after an incident of getting stuck IN the toilet for 7 hours. His roommate found him and called emergency 911. Ever since then he has been in a nursing home.

Last week we were gathering his clothes and stuff to bring back to him and we discovered a bunch of shit… literally fecal matter. Behind his recliner chair that he sits in 24/7 was a grocery bag filled with poop. On his bed there were a bunch poop stains, there were clothes scattered all around his room with poop stains on them. We had 0 idea he was THIS bad until now. He had trouble walking but we had 0 idea about bathroom issues. His roommate told us he had no idea either and was good about hiding it.

I get it, it’s embarrassing for an adult to yell for help to go poop.

This instance is a blessing in disguise because my wife and her mother(his ex wife) were arguing about what to do with him. His landlord was selling the place and he had to move out in 2 months. My wife wanted to find him an apartment close by and my MIL wanted him to go to a nursing home. I have been for the nursing home because i knew he was one fall or sickness away from 24/7 care. Well he fell in the toilet at a good time.

It sucks that he is losing his freedom and independence but we at least know he’s safe.

Growing up in the 90’s just about every house had a formal living room towards the front of the house that your mom decorated with nice furniture. Its usually the first room you see when you walk in the house. It was also the room us kids were forbidden to play in because mom didn’t want us to wreck the furniture or carpet.

Then there was the formal dining room with the big dining table and the China cabinet showcasing your moms prized china that is ONLY used for “special occasions” that never happened.

Mom kept these rooms in the house pristine for guests that never came. Some people used these rooms as junk rooms. Shopping bags and boxes piled in the formal living room and papers and mail scattered all over the dining room table.

Did your parents ever use the formal living room and dining room?

My grandmother is 96 and is still kicking. I love her to bits but she's not an enlightened old lady that gardens, regularly socializes, goes on walks, and approaches the world with a glass half full positive thankful mentality. She's constantly worried and bitter about something and just stays in the house. She's a bit of a diva and demands a lot from the people that help take care of her. She has ran off a few caretakers because she treated them like slaves expecting them to do EVERYTHING around the house. She is constantly worried someone is going to steal her precious jewelry, worried about what to eat next despite having a fridge and pantry of food that is literally overflowing, and worried about dying.

My grandfather passed 25 years ago and that was REALLY hard for her to handle because she was very dependant on him. In many instances the loss and stress of a significant other causes decline in health for the spouse but my grandmother is still kicking 25 years later despite that.

My aunt who lives with her and helps take care of my grandmother is kind of ready for her to pass. She never says she wishes her mother will croak BUT always talks about how she will travel more when she passes.

Anyone else have family members that are still alive despite bad habits?

My wife and I are looking for a babysitter on an as needed basis. Like if we want to go out to a concert or nice dinner here or there. Not a regular nanny for a set number of hours each week but like a relief pitcher for an evening or afternoon. Ideally like a student looking to make extra cash on their summer break.

My mother in law does most of the childcare during the work week and sometimes she needs some help or sometimes she has doctors appointments. Sometimes she just needs someone to help her out as our two toddlers are running circles driving her crazy around the house lol.

I know it's not 1995 and for $5/hr I can pay a 17yr old to watch our kids. This is a HCOL area plus I have two kids. I'm just trying to get a realistic idea of what this cost in the area.

Since their last finals appearance in 1999, the Knicks have been mostly a bottom dweller embarrassment of a franchise. So much so that KD and Kyrie joined the Brooklyn Nets over the Knicks in 2019. Dolan was known as a shit owner even banning 90's Knicks legend Charles Oakley from MSG.

They took so many big swings on the next big savior with Larry Brown, Marbury, Melo, D'Antoni, Phil Jackson only to still be at the bottom of the East. There would be a little initial success but then the team would sink like a rock. IMO they signed guys with success but had too big of an ego to adapt to the situation. Leon Rose took a no ego approach and brought in guys with more hunger than ego and slowly built on the success each season. But then they fire Thibs

Even up to the start of this season there were worries that the franchise pissed away everything built by firing Thibs. It was a joke last summer that nobody wanted to coach the Knicks and that they "settled" on Mike Brown because they couldn't poach Ime Udoka or Jason Kidd. And lots of fans thought they would go back to being the embarrassment of the NBA.

But a collection of hungry castaways really pulled it off this season. Mike Brown looks like Steve Kerr now by keeping the same core philosophies but adding the tweaks and rotations that Thibs wouldn't do. It's crazy how the Knicks went from a joke of a franchise to NBA champions.

This is a follow up to my last post

https://www.reddit.com/r/Aging/s/HR7YJIRBdA

My 83 year old father in law has exactly one month to find a place to live. His lack of initiative or even urgency to find a place on his own has been causing lots of strife with my wife and her mother(who is divorced from him). Neither wants to see him on the streets but neither wants to do ALL the legwork to find him a place.

This man can barely fill out a form on his own and needs someone to look over his shoulder and say “sign here, print your name here” My MIL has always done everything for him and since they’re no longer married she doesn’t want to drag him around to find a place to live. My wife and I are both busy working parents of two toddlers and time is super limited.

Folks in my last thread mentioned there are social workers who can help him. Where do I start to find one that can help him? Ideally someone who helps seniors clueless on how to fill out forms, use a computer, and need LOTS of hand holding through the process. Im sure there are many cases like this where seniors have 0 family to help them through the process.

Seeing Jeremy Lin celebrated at Knicks games has made me wonder if there are any full Asian Americans with expectations to make it to the NBA.

We hear a bunch of half Asians like Dylan Harper and Jordan Clarkson but I wonder if there are currently any full Asian Americans like Jeremy Lin that have high expectations. Not imports like Yao or Wantanabe but Asian Americans

Or have there been any full Asian Americans that were super hyped then fizzled out in college? I know it doesn’t help that Asian genes are traditionally short and that even being 6ft nothing is considered being a giant anomaly amongst Asians.

Last week my mother in law stayed with us because there was a big storm coming towards her house. She brought her box of valuable jewelry just in case her house blew away. That made me think, I dont see millennial and younger women today buying valuable gold jewelry like necklaces, bracelets, and earrings anymore.

Owning a bunch of valuable jewelry seems like a boomer and older thing now. My 95 year old grandma still loves going jewelry shopping but her dementia makes her paranoid that anyone in her house is going to steal her jewelry.

Even young women I know with money, don’t really buy jewelry like that. They buy expensive handbags as a “look at me Im rich” statement. Most dont really own any valuable jewelry beyond their engagement rings.

Do young women today still buy jewelry like our moms and grandmas?

I love all the fun quirky Plus Two style edits. But those type of edits really require outgoing fun couples. In my experience about 1 out of every 5 couples I shoot are outgoing enough to do a Plus Two style fun wedding film. Sometimes the bride might be game but the groom could care less and is uncomfortable with the pagentry of a wedding. Many grooms have an attitude like "ughh I'll do it but lets just get this shit over with"

For videographers here that do fun edits, do you know beforehand that the couple is outgoing enough and game to act silly on camera?

Washington DC has always been the epitome of stuffy dress codes. While Cali has ditched the formal suit and ties in office settings over a decade ago, DC has held onto it. I've always DREADED wearing suits in the summer. But I've been noticing in recent years that the stuffiness has loosened up a bit since COVID. Many C Suite and high level execs don't wear ties at all. Few wear traditional hard leather soled dress shoes and mostly wear some Cole Haan hybrid dress sneakers. I even see members of congress ditch the tie unless they're making an appearance then they'll throw it on last minute. Offices with no boomers teeter the line between business casual/casual. I think a combination of COVID plus boomers aging out of the workforce has accelerated the decrease in traditional formal attire in office settings.

Has anyone else noticed the same?

My 83 year old father in law currently lives with some old drinking buddies in a house for free. The owner of the house now wants to sell because he wants to help his kids buy a house. So my father in law is now forced to find a place to live after being complacent for 15 years.

He is reluctant to admit he is REALLY in bad stape. My wife and I went to visit him and he looks terrible. He is in a recliner chair 24/7. He can't even sleep in a bed because he says it's too hard for him to get out of bed. So he just sleeps in that recliner, watches TV all day, AND drinks alcohol all day. There have been many times he has fallen on the floor and his roommates have to help him up. Because of his terrible condition, we're afraid he has to go to a nursing home. He insists he can live on his own but if he has a bad fall, there wouldn't be anyone to pick him up off the floor.

My wife and I can't take care of him because we live in a tiny condo with 2 toddlers. There is literally no space for him nor time outside of our busy work schedules and parenting. He has been divorced from my wifes mother for 30 years now because he had and still has a drinking problem. She can't stand him. He has family but he has no relationship with his siblings or extended family. He has a son from a previous marriage that he barely has a relationship with. My wife has made efforts to invite him over for dinners, our kids birthdays, Christmas etc but 8 times out of 10 he has some excuse not to come. My wife complains he has been like that her whole life, he makes almost no effort to maintain relationships with his family.

The only option for him is a nursing home. It has really opened my eyes to how some people end up in nursing homes. Many people say "how can you just leave your parents in a nursing home to die alone?" well this is a good example. He has alienated his own children and extended family from his life. He is closer to old drinking buddies from a bar than his own family. My wife would NEVER let her mother go into a nursing home because she has done so much for her and for me to. My MIL takes care of our kids and saves us a shit ton in daycare, plus our kids love her a ton. But my father in law has done little to nothing to even maintain a relationship with his daughter.

NoBulls future is looking pretty bleak imo. A few years ago they've abandoned the core audience of crossfitters who made them popular and they haven't been able to recapture that wave of popularity.

The ONLY thing NoBull has got going for them is that Tom Brady is a part owner and heavily promotes the brand. BUT Brady doesn't even wear NoBull shoes unless it's for a promo shoot https://www.instagram.com/p/DYAD_islZLa/?hl=en&img_index=1 He usually wears Nike Air Force 1's.

People used to complain that NoBull is too expensive and now they're perpetually on sale.

They're still pushing the same shoes from 5+ years ago. Their other model besides their classic trainers have all been shit. I bought 2 different NoBull runners a few years ago and they both felt super cheap like my feet would slide and bust through the upper like Zion Williamson. They're just re-coloring trainers that are like 10 years old now.

Do you see NoBull lasting as a brand.

Growing up in the 90's our family dog was 100% outdoors. He stayed in the backyard all the time. If it was cold outside he'd come in the garage, if it was extremely cold he'd sleep in the hallway but still stay outside during the day as long as it wasn't raining. For the most part he had a dog house outside if he needed shelter and shade.

It wasn't rare either. 3 of our neighbors in our cul de sac also had outdoor dogs.

I remember at Lowes and outside of Wal Mart they'd have a bunch of dog houses on display for sale right by the plant section. Now you don't see dog houses at stores at all.

Leaving a dog outside all day in 2026 seems almost like animal cruelty. My most recent dog until he passed last year was pretty much my baby. He was 100% indoors and wherever I went he went.

I just wonder does anyone in the US still have outdoor dogs?

I was debating with a fellow videographer which style of talking head filming is the best for say a corporate branding/about us video. I prefer scripting, loading into a teleprompter and then having the subject read word for word. I always make sure the subject reads the script days prior and allow them to make edits to sound natural.

Q&A style talking head is the most authentic sound BUT significantly more work for us, the editor, AND the client.

Q&A style we end up with like 45 mins of a talking head interview that we now have to condense into a 5 min video. THIS is the biggest pain in the ass to deal with. Sometimes we send the entire raw video and transcript to the client to help cut down and they have 0 idea on what to cut down. The client never gets back to me or they give me a cut down from 45 mins to 30 mins. So then it's on me to figure out what to cut down from a whole story of the CEO's childhood all the way to today into 5 mins. Then I have to figure out how to creatively mask all the jump cuts.

Scripted and read from a teleprompter is much easier because there is little back and forth on what to include/exclude in the edit. It's just a matter of adding b-roll, graphics, music, and color grading. I always have the subject do multiple takes and we can choose bits and pieces from each take depending on how smooth/natural the lines are spoken. But its typically more efficient and gets me paid faster.

If I were putting together a documentary telling the story of someones passion, struggle, life story I'd do Q&A style talking head to really pull emotion out on the screen. But if we're shooting some executive VP in a suit talking about his corporate workplace, I prefer scripting it.

I might take this corporate job on an internal video team BUT unfortunately they have already established a Premiere workflow. I'd much rather use Resolve but if the salary is good, I might just have to suck it up.

I know the principles of editing and I used FCP before so I'm sure I can transition to Premiere. I'm just wondering how is the transition?

I might take this corporate job on an internal video team BUT unfortunately they have already established a Premiere workflow. I'd much rather use Resolve but if the salary is good, I might just have to suck it up.

I know the principles of editing and I used FCP before so I'm sure I can transition to Premiere. I'm just wondering how is the transition?

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