Chiedo gentilmente di non giudicarmi troppo severamente: io (24F) non ho mai avuto una relazione prima di lui. Ho una lunga storia di disturbi alimentari; a 21 anni ho iniziato la terapia per la prima volta e l'anno scorso, credendo di stare meglio, l'ho interrotta. Non ho mai avuto partner proprio a causa del mio disturbo, finché all'inizio di quest'anno ho iniziato a frequentare questo ragazzo (24 M). Ci tengo davvero a lui; non so se sia amore, dato che è la mia "prima volta" in tutto, ma amo stare con lui e parlare con lui. Vivevamo nella stessa città, ma purtroppo il mese scorso sono dovuta tornare a casa dei miei genitori (avevo smesso di vivere con loro due anni fa) e la mia situazione è peggiorata di nuovo. Non voglio autodiagnosticarmi nulla, ma di certo non sto bene. Di solito sono molto attiva e amo fare cose (disegnare, stare all'aperto boh robe normali) ma ultimamente mi limito a esistere. È come se non stessi facendo nulla. Inoltre, ho ricominciato ad avere comportamenti legati al disturbo alimentare: non riesco a guardarmi allo specchio né a guardare il mio corpo, e ho ricominciato a odiare tutto di me. Anche la distanza tra noi (due ore di viaggio) non aiuta. Quando sono con lui o parlo con lui mi sento molto meglio, ma lui non può sempre esserci o stare al telefono, perché deve lavorare o ha delle cose da sbrigare, e lo capisco perfettamente. Lui ha la sua vita e non voglio stressarlo con le mie insicurezze e con il bisogno di parlare con qualcuno che non sia la mia famiglia. Al momento, ricominciare la terapia è impossibile: non ho un lavoro e non posso chiedere soldi ai miei genitori. Anche lui ha i suoi problemi e mi sento in colpa a trascinarlo nel caos della mia mente, soprattutto considerando che ci conosciamo solo da due anni e ci frequentiamo da circa quattro mesi. Lui è dolce e premuroso, e ci sosteniamo a vicenda, ma non credo che meriti di avermi accanto in questo stato. Sto pensando seriamente di lasciarlo, così non dovrà portarsi dietro un peso come me. Come ho già detto, questa è la mia prima relazione; mi piacerebbe ricevere qualche consiglio su come comunicargli ciò che provo in questo momento. Non so bene come trovare le parole giuste. Qualcun altro si è mai trovato in una situazione simile? Voi cosa fareste?

I kindly ask anyone to not judge me too harshly, I (24F) have never dated before him.

I have a long history of eating disorders, when I was 21 I tried therapy for the first time and last year I thought I was doing ok again so I stopped therapy. I never had romantic partners because of my ed, until earlier this year I started dating this guy (24M). I really care about him, I don't know if it's love since he's my first everything but I do love staying and talking with him.

We used to live in the same city, unfortunately last month I had to move back to my parent's place (I stopped living with them 2 years ago) and I got worse again. I don't want to diagnose myself with anything but I a definitely not doing good. I am normally very active and I love to do things, to draw to stay outside but lately I just exist. Like I'm not doing anything. Also I am engaging again in ed behaviours, I can't look at myself in the mirror, I can't look at my body and I hate everything about myself again.

The distance between us (2 hours) is also not helping. When I'm with him or talking with him I feel so much better but he can't always be there with me or on his phone because he has to work or if he has stuff to do, and I completely understand that. He has his own life and I don't want to stress him out with my insecurities and need to talk with someone that isn't my family.

As for now starting therapy again is impossible as I don't have a job and I can't ask my parents for money.

He has his own problems and I feel guilty dragging him into the mess my head his, especially since we only have known each other for 2 years and dated for like 4 months. He's sweet and caring and we help each other out but I don't think he deserves me in this state. I am seriously thinking about breaking up with him so he doesn't have a burden like me around.

As I said this is my first relationship, I would love advice on how to tell him what I'm feeling right now. I don't know how to put down the right words. Has anyone else been in a similar situation before? What would you do?

Chiedo gentilmente di non giudicarmi troppo severamente: io (24F) non ho mai avuto una relazione prima di lui. Ho una lunga storia di disturbi alimentari; a 20-21 anni ho iniziato la terapia per la prima volta e l'anno scorso, credendo di stare meglio, l'ho interrotta. Non ho mai avuto partner proprio a causa del mio disturbo, finché all'inizio di quest'anno ho iniziato a frequentare questo ragazzo (24 M) Ci tengo davvero a lui; non so se sia amore, dato che è la mia "prima volta" in tutto, ma amo stare con lui e parlare con lui. Vivevamo nella stessa città, ma purtroppo il mese scorso sono dovuta tornare a casa dei miei genitori (avevo smesso di vivere con loro due anni fa per una ragione) e la mia situazione è peggiorata di nuovo molto in fretta. Non voglio autodiagnosticarmi nulla, ma non mi sento bene. Di solito sono molto attiva e amo fare cose (disegnare, stare all'aperto, cose normali insomma) ma ultimamente mi limito a esistere. È come se non stessi facendo nulla. Inoltre, ho ricominciato ad avere comportamenti legati al disturbo alimentare, poi non riesco a guardarmi allo specchio né a guardare il mio corpo, e ho ricominciato a odiare tutto di me, oltre che ad avere pensieri brutti di nuovo. Anche la distanza tra noi (due ore di viaggio) non aiuta. Quando sono con lui o parlo con lui mi sento molto meglio, ma lui non può sempre esserci o stare al telefono, perché deve lavorare o ha cose da fare capisco perfettamente. Lui ha la sua vita e non voglio stressarlo con le mie insicurezze e con il bisogno di parlare con qualcuno che non sia la mia famiglia.

Al momento, ricominciare la terapia è impossibile, non ho un lavoro e non posso chiedere soldi ai miei genitori.

Anche lui ha i suoi problemi e mi sento in colpa a trascinarlo nel caos della mia mente, soprattutto considerando che ci conosciamo solo da due anni e ci frequentiamo da circa 4/5 mesi. Lui è dolce e premuroso, so che ci tiene a me cone io a lui ma non credo che meriti di avermi accanto in questo stato, e conoscendoni andrò solo a peggiorare. Sto pensando seriamente di lasciarlo, così non dovrà portarsi dietro un peso come me. Però non vorrei. Non so che fare.

Come ho già detto, questa è la mia prima relazione; mi piacerebbe ricevere qualche consiglio su come comunicargli ciò che provo in questo momento. Non so bene come trovare le parole giuste. Qualcun altro si è mai trovato in una situazione simile? Voi cosa fareste?

(È una settimana circa he non ci sentiamo) mi sento patetica madonna

For context ci sentiamo da circa 3 mesi e usciamo ufficialmente da 2. Mi sembra un pochino strano non mi abbia mai scritto, io ci ho provato a sentirlo ma risponde un po freddo e l’ultimo messaggio era mio appunto una settimana fa, è la mia prima relazione non so sia normale non sentirsi per tot tempo, che dite?

Devo invitare circa 30 persone quindi possibilmente non troppo caro, grazie mille

Mi sento con questo ragazzo da circa 3 mesi, entrambi universitari fuorisede. Agli amici in comune dell'Università non abbiamo detto nulla per regioni varie che non vi starò qui a raccontare, ma io alle amiche del mio paese ho detto che ci sto uscendo. Gli amici suoi invece non sanno neanche chi io sia.

L'ho scoperto perché poco tempo fa sono andata tre giorni a casa dei suoi con il suo migliore amico, ma mi ha baciato solo quando lui non c'era. Poi mi ha detto che non lo sa perché non voleva metterlo a disagio e farlo sentire il terzo in comodo.

Non so benissimo come prenderla, non sono una persona a cui piace mostrare le relazioni o affetto in pubblico ma mi sono sentita come se si vergognasse di me. Poi fino a settembre non ci vedremo, non so se vale la pena parlarne al telefono o addirittura parlarne in generale, faccio un po pena nella comunicazione non saprei come dirglielo

This is my first relationship so I'm not experienced, I have no idea if thos behaviours are normal and if I'm just overthinking everything.

We are both 24, and he is an ex-classmate from university. We have been dating in secret for almost 2 months now.

I am totally fine with our mutual university friends not knowing about us yet, they were the main reason why we agreed to keep this thing for ourselves. However, I have noticed a difference in how we share things: while I have told my own friends about him, none of his personal friends know I exist yet, and only his sister knows.

This episode in particular made me think: recently when he invited me, some mutual friends, and his best friend to spend a day near his hometown by the sea. Ultimately, only me and his best friend were able to make the trip. I assumed his best friend knew about us, but he had no idea, and we kept physical affection hidden until his friend stepped away to the bathroom. When I brought it up afterward, he explained that he did not mention it because he wanted to avoid making his friend feel like a third wheel.

To make things harder, we are about to go on separate vacations and won't see each other until September, and I really do not know how to handle this distance right now.

On top of all that, he broke up with his ex around December, and he recently admitted that a tiny part of his brain is still attached to her. He swears it is too small to weigh on our relationship, but hearing that combined with the fact that I am being kept a secret from his friends is making me feel uneasy.

He is sweet, I really like him, and I know he likes me too, but this secret thing with his friends is starting to weigh on me.

I have no idea what to tell him, how to tell him, and even if I should tell him something, maybe this is noemal and he's just reserved??? I'm confused and a bit overwhelmed

TL;DR: I am in my first relationship (we are both 24, dating for 2 months). I’ve told my friends about him, but none of his personal friends know I exist yet, which felt awkward during a recent trip with his best friend. On top of that, we are about to spend the summer apart until September, and he mentioned he still has minor lingering thoughts about his ex from December. Since I am new to all of this, should I bring up these concerns over text before September, or wait to talk in person?

My boyfriend and I have a great relationship. During sex we're both happy with penetration, and we usually both finish. The struggle is with fingers. I really love it when it is fast and intense, and that is what gets me closest. I’ll be right on the edge, legs shaking, almost there, but I never actually finish. It's frustrating for both. Also, because I need it fast abd intense to get close, we end up going for a really long time, and he usually ends up completely exhausted. I love him and I love our sex, but I’m just feeling stuck and I'm honestly wondering if this could be a mental thing that's holding me back. What kind of techniques or approaches can we try to help me reach orgasm more efficiently without wearing him out, and do you have any insight into whether this is likely a mental block or just a preference thing? TL;DR: I love our sex life, but I have trouble finishing with fingers because I need a super fast, intense pace. It takes so long that my boyfriend gets exhausted. I’m looking for advice on different techniques and wondering if this could be a mental block.

I’m (24f)looking for advice about sex life with my boyfriend(25m). We have a great time and are both able to reach orgasm during penetration, issue is with manual stimulation: I love it fast and intense, and even though he’s doing everything right (I’ll be right on the edge, legs shaking, almost there) I just never actually finish. Because of this, we end up going at it for a really long time, and he usually ends up exhausted by the end of it. Does anyone have any tips or different techniques ?

I'm 24(F). Never had a boyfriend. I'm not ugly or fat, I just never gave anyone a chance because of personal reasons.

But now I'm dating this guy (24M) I really care about. It's my first time. First kiss, first time saying yes to dates, first time talking so much with someone. It feels weird after avoiding romance for so long, but is good.

But the sexual part of dating scares me so much. First of all I'm embarassed to say that I'm a virgin at my big age. Second I'm so inexperienced, so insecure, I have no idea what to do, what to expect. Eventually we'll have to do something I know (and tbh I can't wait for it) but Im a bit scared I might seem weird. I'm making a huge effort to date him because I really care about him and i don't want to lose the only person that seems to get me. I need advice on how to tell him first then maybe practical advices(?) How to feel more natural, or just less awkward. What do guys like? What do guys do in bed? I literally have no idea

Repost to 

I'm 24 and even tho I've always drawn and shared my art I just recently tried to open commissions. I have a ""big"" art tiktok account where people interact or even compliment me but I can't get commissions. I have problems upload pictures but my prices are: 7€/head, 10€/bust, 15€/full body. I never went to art school, are my prices too low? too high? should I promote myself more? what should I do? Thank you for everyone helping me!

Hey everyone,

I wanted to share my situation and get some advice on how to handle what’s going on right now. I’ve been in the same close friend group with this guy [24M] for about 2 years (we used to go in the same faculty at university, he changed last year tho), but over the last 3 months, things started getting super confusing. He kept texting me in private to hang out just the two of us, constantly asking to study together or grab dinner. He paid for my ice cream, and he even introduced me to his sister and his other friends outside our group. It was a bit weird since usually we did everything with our other friends. But I am oblivious when it comes to reading romance or signs, so I genuinely couldn't tell if he was flirting or just being a really nice friend. To make it worse, I had a panic attack in front of him a few months ago, so I had this huge insecurity that he didn't actually like me and was only hanging out with me out of pity because he felt sorry for me. Then, the other day, we grabbed pizza just the two of us, and while we were eating, he randomly mentioned that his ex had texted him but made a huge point to say he was completely over her, and right before we left, he immediately asked to hang out again the next day. Well, literally the day after that pizza hangout, he confessed his feelings to me over text. It turns out he has actually liked me for almost 2 months now and tried to confess a few times before but was just too nervous. I was super confused on what to do at first because for me at least it is easier to say no than to say yes, but then I thought that this is the first guy I liked in a while, that I can talk to easily and nicely and that I'm sure he doesn't like me only because he finds me pretty. All the guys that dated me only because " you're pretty" ended up cheating or getting tired of me because they didn't really know me, but that's not the main point sorry. We met up the other day in person and decided to just take it as it is, try it out, and see where it goes. I'm just happy we aren't too serious, it already felt like we were dating and now we just made it a tiny bit more official lol. My main issue is that for now, we are keeping this hidden from our mutual friends. Honestly, I dislike keeping secrets, but for now keeping this a total secret feels completely and utterly necessary. Our friend group is really small (we're 6) so any shift in dynamic affects everyone instantly. To make things worse, we already had someone leave the group in the past because of a dating failure, and it almost tore the group apart. We cannot let that happen again, and we really need the time and space to figure out what we are to each other without four other people watching our every move before we even know what we're doing. I understand why we have to hide it and I am genuinely so happy with how things are between us for now, but the pressure of keeping a secret this huge is still stressing me out a bit. I want to figure out how to handle the stress of keeping a secret from people we are so close to, as I'm used to share everything, especially with one girl of our group.

I literally need tips on how to stop talking. What are some good strategies to avoid slipping up or giving away vibes when we all hang out? I'm a transparent person I'm afraid to make things obvious. TL;DR After a year of friendship, my friend [24M] confessed his feelings and we [24F] started casually dating. We have to keep it a strict secret because our friend group is tiny (only 6 people) and we already lost a friend over a past dating failure, so hiding it is a must to protect the group and give us space to figure things out. I am super happy but I hate secrets and the pressure is stressing me. I need advice on how to stop sharing and keep myself from spilling the news.

Hello everyone,

I am looking for some advice on how to navigate a situation with a guy [24M] in my friend group, as I am incredibly oblivious when it comes to reading social signals and romance.

We have been part of the same mutual friend group for about 2 years, but over the last 3 months, he has started reaching out to me [24F] in private to ask me to hang out just the two of us. He frequently messages me to study together or go out for dinner, sometimes we stay together the whole day for days straight even outside university hours. Like today we had lunch, studied the ehole afternoon, hanged out in the park and then we grabbed pizza just the two of us. While we were eating, he randomly mentioned to me that his ex had texted him but made a point to say he is completely over her and no longer interested, and before we parted ways, he immediately asked me if I wanted to hang out again tomorrow. This is on top of him paying for my ice cream yesterday and recently introducing me to his sister and his separate friend group. However, he has never explicitly stated his intentions, and while we share a lot of mutual interests and get along great, I have a major doubt because a few weeks ago, I had a panic attack right in front of him. Because of that, I am struggling to understand if he is initiating all this daily one-on-one time because he genuinely likes me, or if he is simply checking in on me out of pity and being supportive after witnessing that event.

I think I am starting to like him so maybe I'm just imagining intentions behind those actions. I would love some advice on how I can directly but casually ask him to clarify his intentions without making our friendship awkward if I have misread the situation, and if it could be worth it to do so. I really care about this friendship, also he is really respectful of my space and my lifestyle and I don't want to ruin it

Hello everyone,

I am looking for advice on how to navigate a situation with a guy [24M] in my friend group, as I am really obvious when it comes to reading romance.

We have been part of the same friend group for about 2 years, but over the last 3 months, he has started reaching out to me [24F] in private to ask me to hang out just the two of us. He frequently messages me to study together or go out for dinner or just to talk. Sometimes we see each other the whole day for days straight, not only during university hours. Like today we had lunch, studied the whole afternoon and grabbed pizza just the two of us. Also while we were eating, he randomly mentioned to me that his ex had texted him but made a point to say he is completely over her and no longer interested, and before we parted ways, he immediately asked me if I wanted to hang out again tomorrow. This is on top of him paying for my ice cream yesterday and recently introducing me to his sister and his separate friend group.

However, he has never explicitly stated his intentions, but we share a lot of mutual interests and get along great. But I have a big doubt because few weeks ago, I had a panic attack right in front of him. Because of that, I am struggling to understand if he is initiating all this daily one-on-one time because he genuinely likes me, or if he is simply checking in on me out of pity and being supportive after witnessing that event. I need help figuring what to do. I would love some advice on how I can directly but casually ask him to clarify his intentions without making our friendship awkward if I have misread the situation. Or if it worth to do so, I really care about him I don't want to make the friendship awkward.

My English is not so good and I wrote this in a rush I hope it's understandable

TL;DR: My friend [24M] and I [24F] have known each other for 2 years, and for the past 3 months, he has been asking me to hang out one-on-one constantly. I can't tell if he's flirting or just looking out for me after witnessing a past panic attack, so I need advice on on ways to ask him to clarify how he views our relationship and if it's necessary to do so.

Hello everyone,

I am looking for advice on how to read a situation with a guy [24M] in my friend group, as I am oblivious when it comes to reading romance. We have been part of the same mutual friend group for about 2 years (because of university), but over the last 3 months, he has started reaching out to me [24F] in private to ask me to hang out just the two of us. He frequently messages me to study together or go out for dinner, sometimes we see each other every day for the whole day. Like today we studied together the whole afternoon and later grabbed pizza just the two of us. While we were eating, he randomly mentioned to me that his ex had texted him but made a point to say he is completely over her and no longer interested, and before we parted ways, he immediately asked me if I wanted to hang out again tomorrow. This is on top of him paying for my ice cream yesterday and recently introducing me to his sister and his separate friend group. However, he has never explicitly stated his intentions but I maybe am starting to like him so maybe I'm imagining everything. Also, while we share a lot of mutual interests and get along great, I have a major doubt because a few weeks ago I had a panic attack right in front of him. Because of that, I am struggling to understand if he is initiating all this daily one-on-one time because he genuinely likes me, or if he is simply checking in on me out of pity and being supportive after witnessing that event. I am struggling to distinguish between someone being extra friendly versus someone actively flirting, so I need help figuring what and if to do something. I would love some advice on how I can directly but casually ask him to clarify his intentions without making our friendship awkward if I have misread the situation. I really care about this friendship and I would hate to ruin it.

EDIT of today (literally the day after the post btw) Yall were right. We saw each other again to study, I just arrived home and he sent a confession over text. I'll update you if we actually start dating !

Hello,

I want to say that english is not my furst language i hope everything is ckear

I’m really looking for some outside perspective because I am completely oblivious when it comes to romance and reading signals.

There is this guy [24M] in my friend group, and lately, he keeps asking me [24F] to hang out just the two of us. He’ll text me in private to ask if I want to study together, grab dinner, etc.

On one hand, we get along incredibly well and share a lot of the same interests. He even introduced me to his sister and his other friends outside of our main group, and yesterday he paid for my ice cream. He gave me some of his star wars comics to read, he walked me home, we text everyday, this morning he asked me for a 1 to 1 dinner again (I had to decline today tho I had already errands to do)

On the other hand, he hasn't explicitly stated that he likes me, and I have this massive insecurity hanging over my head: a while ago, I had a little panic attack in front of him. Now, I’m terrified that he’s only asking me to hang out out of pity or "charity" because he feels sorry for me.

Am I overthinking this? Are things like paying for my ice cream, introducing me to his family/friends, and wanting to hang out one-on-one actual clues that he likes me, or is he just being an incredibly supportive and friendly guy? I genuinely cannot tell the difference between flirting and friendliness.

Thanks in advance for any advice!