u/Gullible_Original_28

English isn't my first language so I'll try to explain as best as I can.

I am not the type to spend my entire day on my phone. Last month I was in the middle of a very intense internship where I often have no signal and zero energy check messages. My friend, X, and I have known each other since high school. 3 yrs ago he confessed he had feelings for me. I rejected him and suggested to stay friends but he got a gf and ghosted me for over a year. He only reappeared in August 2025 after he became single again. Since then, the dynamic has felt very off.

He's unemployed and doesn't study so he spends the day sending videos, I don't answer immediately, sometimes I open his chat to find 30+ videos so ofc I'm not watching them all but that bothered him. For my job I stay a lot in places w no connection, he knew that, but he demanded immediate answers. Also, I hate loud places, and when we saw each other (few times since I live in an other city) he always wanted to go in loud and crowded spaces or go drinking (I don't drink) cuz I needed to "learn how to socialise". I have friends, but he acted like he was my social life saviour. That bothered me, I told him multiple times but nothing changed.

In December 26 he shared an audio of mine w/o my consent, he never apologized for it. He just avoided the topic. I told him I was angry. He tried to talk a few times more after that, then around the beginning of January he disappeared again. I didn't reach out and I was ok. ​

A few days ago, he sent me a YouTube short. I didn't reply. A few hours later, he messaged me: "I admit it’s not the peak of comedy, but you could have at least sent a fake laugh just to keep me happy 🤨." ​I didn't respond to that too. The next day, he started spamming me: missed calls and "I'm worried" messages. He told me he was "uncomfortable" cuz I wasn't answering. ​ I finally replied and I was blunt. I told him I was the one who was uncomfortable. I pointed out everything that made me angry. He ignored that and just sent a voice note playing the victim about the disappearance (that was the only thing that didn't annoy me). He then wrote that he'll do anything to persue this friendship because he cared a lot about me.

I answered Sunday. I said to him again what he bothered me and that I didn't want him to search for me anymore.

He wrote: "You’ve hit me with a massive boulder, but if that’s what you want, so be it. I will always love you, just know that." I ignored that last part and I thanked him for respecting my wish to end things, he replied "Well, not like I had an alternative."

I was rough yes, but I have a past of a guy completely obsessing over me and stalking me because I wasn't rough enough. I'd rather hurt him a bit then suffer myself. ​My friends said I'm in the right and he's the weird one but I still feel guilty / i want opinions from outside ​AITA for being "too harsh" and cutting off a long-term friend?

English isn't my first language so I'll try to explain as best as I can.

My (24F) friend (24M) ghosted me for a year after a rejection, came back, disappeared again and is now acting like a victim because I set a boundary

For context, I am not the type to spend my entire day on my phone. Last month I was in the middle of a very intense projected in a place where I had signal and zero energy check messages.

3 yrs ago he confessed he had feelings for me. I rejected him and suggested to stay friends but he got a gf and ghosted me for over a year. He only reappeared in August 2025 after he became single again. Since then, the dynamic has felt very off.

He's unemployed and doesn't study so he spends the day sending videos, I don't answer immediately, sometimes I open his chat to find 30+ videos so ofc I'm not watching them all but that bothered him. For my job I stay a lot in places w no connection, he knew that, but he demanded immediate answers. Also, I hate loud places, and when we saw each other (few times since I live in an other city) he always wanted to go in loud and crowded spaces or go drinking (I don't drink) cuz I needed to "learn how to socialise". I have friends, but he acted like he was my social life saviour. That bothered me, I told him multiple times but nothing changed.

In December 26 he shared an audio of mine w/o my consent, he never apologized for it. He just avoided the topic. I told him I was angry. He tried to talk a few times more after that, then around the beginning of January he disappeared again. I didn't reach out and I was ok. ​

A few days ago, he sent me a YouTube short. I didn't reply. A few hours later, he messaged me: "I admit it’s not the peak of comedy, but you could have at least sent a fake laugh just to keep me happy 🤨." ​I didn't respond to that too. The next day, he started spamming me: missed calls and "I'm worried" messages. He told me he was "uncomfortable" cuz I wasn't answering. ​ I finally replied and I was blunt. I told him I was the one who was uncomfortable. I pointed out everything that made me angry. He ignored that and just sent a voice note playing the victim about the disappearance (that was the only thing that didn't annoy me). He then wrote that he'll do anything to persue this friendship because he cared a lot about me.

I answered Sunday. I said to him again what he bothered me and that I didn't want him to search for me anymore.

He wrote: "You’ve hit me with a massive boulder, but if that’s what you want, so be it. I will always love you, just know that." I ignored that last part and I thanked him for respecting my wish to end things, he replied "Well, not like I had an alternative."

I was rough yes, but I have a past of a guy completely obsessing over me and stalking me because I wasn't rough enough. My friends are supporting my actions but I still feel guilty.

I (F24) value my space and I don't spend much time on my phone. For work sometimes I'm not reachable for days. I’ve known my friend (M24) since high school. Few years ago, he confessed his feelings for me. I rejected him and suggested we stay friends. He ghosted me for 1y. He got into a gf and never reached out. He reappeared August of 2025 after they broke up. ​Since he’s been back, things have been off. He's unemployed and doesn't study so he spends the day sending videos, I don't answer immediately, sometimes I open his chat to find 30+ videos so ofc I'm not watching them all but that bothered him. For my job I stay a lot in places w no connection, he new that, but he pretended immediate answers. Also, I hate loud places, and when we saw each other (few times since I live in an other city) he always wanted to go in loud and crowded spaces or go drinking (I don't drink) cuz I needed to "learn how to socialise". I have friends, but he acted like he was my social life saviour. That bothered me, I told him multiple times but nothing changed.

In December 25 he shared an audio of mine w/o my consent, he never apologized for it. He just avoided the topic. I told him I was angry. He tried to talk a few times more after that, then around the beginning of January he disappeared again. I didn't reach out and I was ok. ​ A few days ago, he sent me a YouTube short. I didn't reply. A few hours later, he messaged me: "I admit it’s not the peak of comedy, but you could have at least sent a fake laugh just to keep me happy 🤨." ​I didn't respond to that too. The next day, he started spamming me: missed calls and "I'm worried" messages. He told me he was "uncomfortable" cuz I wasn't answering. ​ I finally replied and I was blunt. I told him I was the one who was uncomfortable. I pointed out everything that made me angry. He ignored that and just sent a voice note playing the victim about the disappearance (that was the only thing that didn't annoy me). He then wrote that he'll do anything to persue this friendship because he cared a lot about me.

I answered Sunday. I said to him again what he bothered me and that I didn't want him to search for me anymore.

He wrote: "You’ve hit me with a massive boulder, but if that’s what you want, so be it. I will always love you, just know that." I ignored that last part and I thanked him for respecting my wish to end things, he replied "Well, not like I had an alternative."

I was rough yes, but I have a past of a guy completely obsessing over me and stalking me because I wasn't rough enough. I'd rather hurt him a bit then suffer myself. ​My friends said I'm in the right and he's the weird one but I want opinions from outside ​AITA for being "too harsh" and cutting off a long-term friend? I hope i explained well English isn't my first language