u/Healthy_Pair_6776

I’m honestly so fucking angry!! I’m a 20-year-old woman, and for a long time I’ve been wondering why I don’t feel like a “real woman” and why I always feel inferior to other women. So, let me explain.

In elementary and middle school, I wasn’t popular at all. I had a couple of friends who were also considered kind of “dorky” and were socially excluded. Whenever I had to be paired up with a popular boy, he’d look at me like I was the most disgusting thing in the world and sometimes even laugh about it with his friends. But then he’d treat a popular girl completely differently and be perfectly nice to her. And honestly, it’s kind of funny because I was often prettier than those girls anyway. 😂 The same thing happened whenever I was put into a group with a popular girl, a group of popular girls, a popular boy, or a group of popular boys because of something the teacher had assigned. They treated me like shit.

Because of that, I started wondering if there was something inherently disgusting, undesirable, or ugly about me. I was so ashamed of myself because of it, even though I was actually a pretty cute girl.

Now, as an adult, a lot of people consider me genuinely beautiful and say I have a great body. But whenever men show interest in me, I get this feeling like, “Uh… what? I was supposed to be the ugly, disgusting one. You must be talking to the wrong person. Why are you interested in me?” And I get the exact same feeling nowadays when I hang out with women who are conventionally beautiful or have that “popular girl” vibe. I feel like I don’t belong with them and like I’m somehow not a “real woman.” I almost want to burst out laughing and be like, “Why the hell are you even hanging out with me?” 😂😂

It’s crazy how something as seemingly small as the looks those boys and girls gave me, their malicious whispers, and the way they’d laugh at me have left such a huge scar that I still carry to this day.

Because of all that, I still have this feeling that I’m disgusting and somehow the wrong kind of woman, even though I can look in the mirror and see a pretty person staring back at me.

And honestly, I just want to tell all those people who treated me like shit through their looks, gestures, and little comments to go f*ck themselves.

Edit: it’s funny how especially boys were cruel to me if they weren’t attracted to me. Likee? You should treat people equally, it’s not their job to attract you.

And the reason why I am still angry about this is because i just realized recently how much these things still affect me in my daily life. Right now, all the anger I’ve been bottling up is starting to come out.

I’m honestly so fucking angry!! I’m a 20-year-old woman, and for a long time I’ve been wondering why I don’t feel like a “real woman” and why I always feel inferior to other women. So, let me explain.

In elementary and middle school, I wasn’t popular at all. I had a couple of friends who were also considered kind of “dorky” and were socially excluded. Whenever I had to be paired up with a popular boy, he’d look at me like I was the most disgusting thing in the world and sometimes even laugh about it with his friends. But then he’d treat a popular girl completely differently and be perfectly nice to her. And honestly, it’s kind of funny because I was often prettier than those girls anyway. 😂 The same thing happened whenever I was put into a group with a popular girl, a group of popular girls, a popular boy, or a group of popular boys because of something the teacher had assigned. They treated me like shit.

Because of that, I started wondering if there was something inherently disgusting, undesirable, or ugly about me. I was so ashamed of myself because of it, even though I was actually a pretty cute girl.

Now, as an adult, a lot of people consider me genuinely beautiful and say I have a great body. But whenever men show interest in me, I get this feeling like, “Uh… what? I was supposed to be the ugly, disgusting one. You must be talking to the wrong person. Why are you interested in me?” And I get the exact same feeling nowadays when I hang out with women who are conventionally beautiful or have that “popular girl” vibe. I feel like I don’t belong with them and like I’m somehow not a “real woman.” I almost want to burst out laughing and be like, “Why the hell are you even hanging out with me?” 😂😂

It’s crazy how something as seemingly small as the looks those boys and girls gave me, their malicious whispers, and the way they’d laugh at me have left such a huge scar that I still carry to this day.

Because of all that, I still have this feeling that I’m disgusting and somehow the wrong kind of woman, even though I can look in the mirror and see a pretty person staring back at me.

And honestly, I just want to tell all those people who treated me like shit through their looks, gestures, and little comments to go f\\\*ck themselves.

Edit: it’s funny how especially boys were cruel to me if they weren’t attracted to me. Likee? You should treat people equally, it’s not their job to attract you.

And the reason why I am still angry about this is because i just realized recently how much these things still affect me in my daily life. Right now, all the anger I’ve been bottling up is starting to come out.

I’m honestly so fucking angry!! I’m a 20-year-old woman, and for a long time I’ve been wondering why I don’t feel like a “real woman” and why I always feel inferior to other women. So, let me explain.

In elementary and middle school, I wasn’t popular at all. I had a couple of friends who were also considered kind of “dorky” and were socially excluded. Whenever I had to be paired up with a popular boy, he’d look at me like I was the most disgusting thing in the world and sometimes even laugh about it with his friends. But then he’d treat a popular girl completely differently and be perfectly nice to her. And honestly, it’s kind of funny because I was often prettier than those girls anyway. 😂 The same thing happened whenever I was put into a group with a popular girl, a group of popular girls, a popular boy, or a group of popular boys because of something the teacher had assigned. They treated me like shit.

Because of that, I started wondering if there was something inherently disgusting, undesirable, or ugly about me. I was so ashamed of myself because of it, even though I was actually a pretty cute girl.

Now, as an adult, a lot of people consider me genuinely beautiful and say I have a great body. But whenever men show interest in me, I get this feeling like, “Uh… what? I was supposed to be the ugly, disgusting one. You must be talking to the wrong person. Why are you interested in me?” And I get the exact same feeling nowadays when I hang out with women who are conventionally beautiful or have that “popular girl” vibe. I feel like I don’t belong with them and like I’m somehow not a “real woman.” I almost want to burst out laughing and be like, “Why the hell are you even hanging out with me?” 😂😂

It’s crazy how something as seemingly small as the looks those boys and girls gave me, their malicious whispers, and the way they’d laugh at me have left such a huge scar that I still carry to this day.

Because of all that, I still have this feeling that I’m disgusting and somehow the wrong kind of woman, even though I can look in the mirror and see a pretty person staring back at me.

And honestly, I just want to tell all those people who treated me like shit through their looks, gestures, and little comments to go f\*ck themselves.

Edit: it’s funny how especially boys were cruel to me if they weren’t attracted to me. Likee? You should treat people equally, it’s not their job to attract you.

And the reason why I am still angry about this is because i just realized recently how much these things still affect me in my daily life. Right now, all the anger I’ve been bottling up is starting to come out.

During past years I (F20) have experienced a huge ”glow up” and I have become a beautiful woman which is nice.

But I don’t feel beautiful. When I see photos of myself or myself in the mirror, I can’t believe that that beautiful woman is me cause I feel so ugly on the inside even though I know Im pretty/beautiful by common standards.

How did you realize you had hormonal imbalance? How did you realize you had made wrong desicion (transitioning)?

I have been crying all day. My mom was talking about how cute and sweet little girl I was when I was a child. I feel like I am not a girl anymore and I am afraid that I am not a girl/woman anymore and I will let my mom down and break her heart..

This sounds and feels like denial.

I’m a 20-year-old woman, and I’ve been dealing with this for about six months now. It feels like I actually wanna be one of the guys and that I am experiencing gender envy. I am scared that I will end up transitioning. This feels like denial.

How can I stop swearing? I have such a foul mouth and I swear a lot. Swearing makes me feel less feminine, and I feel like it’s not really “ladylike” :(

Do you feel like a woman?

Hi,

I am 20-year-old female and I’ve been questioning my gender for a while. I’ve always felt like I don’t fit in with other women and I feel like I am not a ”real woman”, like I’m just faking it. And I feel weird when someone calls me “a woman” or “a girl”. I am maybe slightly on the autism spectrum and I am also a lesbian so those things might play a role.

I’ve always been very feminine: hourglass body, skirts, dresses, makeup, skincare etc. Recently I’ve been scared and questioning whether I do this cause I am ”supposed” to be like this or because that’s actually me.

When I look at myself in the mirror I don’t recognize myself. It feels like I am not even alive. I dont know whats gender supposed to feel like. I am scared that I will eventually find out that I am actually trans man. My first thought about being a man and having traditionally masculine style is “noo! I dont wanna wear those ugly clothes. I wanna be pretty and feminine.” But what if thats not the real me? What if I am just playing a character?

Sorry about my vent. I just wanna hear what it feels like for you to be a woman?

Hi,

I am 20-year-old female and I’ve been questioning my gender for a while. I’ve always felt like I don’t fit in with other women and I feel like I am not a ”real woman”, like I’m just faking it. And I feel weird when someone calls me “a woman” or “a girl”. I am maybe slightly on the autism spectrum and I am also a lesbian so those things might play a role.

I’ve always been very feminine: hourglass body, skirts, dresses, makeup, skincare etc. Recently I’ve been scared and questioning whether I do this cause I am ”supposed” to be like this or because that’s actually me.

When I look at myself in the mirror I don’t recognize myself. It feels like I am not even alive. I dont know whats gender supposed to feel like. I am scared that I will eventually find out that I am actually trans man. My first thought about being a man and having traditionally masculine style is “noo! I dont wanna wear those ugly clothes. I wanna be pretty and feminine.” But what if thats not the real me? What if I am just playing a character?

Sorry about my vent. I just wanna hear what it feels like for you to be a woman?

Edit: thank you for your answers. From your comments I definitely realized I am a woman and feel like me.

I’m a girl who experiences severe chest dysphoria. I'm not sure if I should be feeling this way, or if cis people can even experience gender dysphoria. Please help!

Hi friends, I'm not experienced with using reddit so please don't mind my mistakes. English isn't my first language.

I am an afab girl, with horrible chest dysphoria. I live in an European country. I am stereotypically femme, with the interests and appearance to match. However, I can barely look at myself in the mirror because I am disgusted with the way my chest looks. I never had a large chest, but even the small peak of a breast curve in my clothes makes me feel like staying at home and disgusting.

So, I feel like my issues with my chest started when I hit puberty. My chest was never that large, yet I hated the idea of having breasts or having a period for as long as I can remember. Even now as an adult, I still have those same feelings.

Like, I am comfortable with being a girl and I am also comfortable with having female genitalia. But you see, I was never able to accept female secondary sex characteristics such as breasts. I wish I never went through puberty. I even hate my nipples to the point of wanting to cut them off with scissors. I have a very particular aversion to the term "woman" and prefer it not be used to describe me.

But at the same time, I have never related to being Trans or even Nonbinary. I feel out of place.

Is there any way to explain the way that I'm feeling? Is it okay for me to even feel some form of body dysphoria that is common among trans folk? I'm really down on myself, and the whole day I contemplated giving up completely. I hope that I am able to find an answer that will help explain things to myself better.

Thank you so much for listening to me vent. Know it means the world to me for you to accompany me when I feel so alone.

I’m a girl who experiences severe chest dysphoria. I'm not sure if I should be feeling this way, or if cis people can even experience gender dysphoria. Please help!

Hi friends, I'm not experienced with using reddit so please don't mind my mistakes. English isn't my first language.

I am an afab girl, with horrible chest dysphoria. I live in an European country. I am stereotypically femme, with the interests and appearance to match. However, I can barely look at myself in the mirror because I am disgusted with the way my chest looks. I never had a large chest, but even the small peak of a breast curve in my clothes makes me feel like staying at home and disgusting.

So, I feel like my issues with my chest started when I hit puberty. My chest was never that large, yet I hated the idea of having breasts or having a period for as long as I can remember. Even now as an adult, I still have those same feelings.

Like, I am comfortable with being a girl and I am also comfortable with having female genitalia. But you see, I was never able to accept female secondary sex characteristics such as breasts. I wish I never went through puberty. I even hate my nipples to the point of wanting to cut them off with scissors. I have a very particular aversion to the term "woman" and prefer it not be used to describe me.

But at the same time, I have never related to being Trans or even Nonbinary. I feel out of place.

Is there any way to explain the way that I'm feeling? Is it okay for me to even feel some form of body dysphoria that is common among trans folk? I'm really down on myself, and the whole day I contemplated giving up completely. I hope that I am able to find an answer that will help explain things to myself better.

Thank you so much for listening to me vent. Know it means the world to me for you to accompany me when I feel so alone.

I'm a girl who experiences severe chest dysphoria. I'm not sure if I should be feeling this way, or if cis people can even experience gender dysphoria. Please help!

Hi friends, I'm not experienced with using reddit so please don't mind my mistakes. English isn't my first language.

I am an afab girl, with horrible chest dysphoria. I live in an European country. I am stereotypically femme, with the interests and appearance to match. However, I can barely look at myself in the mirror because I am disgusted with the way my chest looks. I never had a large chest, but even the small peak of a breast curve in my clothes makes me feel like staying at home and disgusting.

So, I feel like my issues with my chest started when I hit puberty. My chest was never that large, yet I hated the idea of having breasts or having a period for as long as I can remember. Even now as an adult, I still have those same feelings.

Like, I am comfortable with being a girl and I am also comfortable with having female genitalia. But you see, I was never able to accept female secondary sex characteristics such as breasts. I wish I never went through puberty. I even hate my nipples to the point of wanting to cut them off with scissors. I have a very particular aversion to the term "woman" and prefer it not be used to describe me.

But at the same time, I have never related to being Trans or even Nonbinary. I feel out of place.

Is there any way to explain the way that I'm feeling? Is it okay for me to even feel some form of body dysphoria that is common among trans folk? I'm really down on myself, and the whole day I contemplated giving up completely. I hope that I am able to find an answer that will help explain things to myself better.

Thank you so much for listening to me vent. Know it means the world to me for you to accompany me when I feel so alone.

I am very feminine (F20). Never have I ever thought about being a guy. This theme has constantly been in my mind for 5 months now. I guess deep down I am a male. Hopefully some day I’ll accept that, transition and be happy.

Hi,

I (F20) just realized I am a lesbian. I have a huge crush on my co-worker. We don’t know each other very well, but her essence is just so intriguing and she is so magnetic.

Here is the problem: she has a boyfriend. And I don’t know if she’s into women (she gives such a queer vibes though). I don’t know if she is also into me… we have long eye contacts, she always smiles at me and makes eye contact with me when we are in a group with our other co-workers.

Here is another thing: today was my almost last work day (tomorrow is the last) and she was the only one who actually cried in my farewell party. After that she came looking for me and said ”sorry I didn’t hug you before” and hugged me very longtime. It was more likr embracing than a hug. She also cried again and said ”I can’t believe you are leaving” and I said ”but hey, X will take my place” and she said ”but it’s not the same..” and we had this crazy long eye contact again.. then she made sure that I am working tomorrow so we will see each other one more time.

Here is also the crazy part: we don’t even know each other! We have only about work stuff, nothing else. We have never spend out breaks together etc. We don’t have each others social medias nor we have seen during free time.

I am afraid that after tomorrow I’ll never see her again.. I am too scared to ask her socials..