u/I_Like_Metal_Music

So I was sitting in my room the other night and for the first time ever I decided to get high while under no supervision. I’m fully grown but usually get high with other people. I took the edible, started to get high and then got the most insane sweet tooth munchies ever. I didn’t eat everything in the picture because I’m not crazy but I am hefty so I ate a rough amount.

Cut to about an hour later. My stomach starts to cramp. I firmly believed it would be diarrhea, I can handle that. Nah, I ended up spending the next TEN MINUTES trying not to THROW UP I was so constipated. Started off really REALLY rough as I started to get TOO HIGH and then started having a PANIC ATTACK. I had to force myself to close my eyes, rock back and forth and breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth because pushing WAS NOT an option. My asshole HURT but I eventually dooked it down.

I stayed the toilet, eyes closed, kinda falling asleep and kinda trying not to pass out because my body was so tired from that shit. I mean seriously, it genuinely hurt and got stuck several times.

I think I’m in the clear but then it comes. I abruptly open my eyes and realize the second wave has hit. I’m sitting there with my asshole having contractions while I’m NOW, butt ass naked, toes and hands white knuckling the walls and floor, my body trying to exit its natural human state. I was jumped by diarrhea himself. Best part? Every time my body pushed, I forced myself not to gag because apparently my gagger and sphincter were attached that night.

Don’t be like me. Be responsible with your munchies.

Pic: my chocolate chip cookies

I’m doing a Summerween Scooby Doo party for my birthday this weekend and I want to make some Scooby doo stoner mega munchies cookies. What would be a cookie that embodies the munchies or would satisfy a stoner to the max? Any help is appreciated! I don’t want to do bone shaped cookies, I want them to be full of goodies and thoick.

Pic: my chocolate chip cookies

I’m doing a Summerween Scooby Doo party for my birthday this weekend and I want to make some Scooby doo stoner mega munchies cookies. What would be a cookie that embodies the munchies or would satisfy a stoner to the max? Any help is appreciated!

And the leftovers were cold. Chicken fried steak with brown gravy, sweet potato fries with honey mustard, and fried okra. The steak was about twice this size and it was good warm but it was scrumptious cold and in my hotel room being bare hand shoveled into my gob.

The fudge was so good that I went and go another both before we left town. Road trip finds are a win and a lose because it’s so good but now it’ll be 5 hours away.

Mint Chocolate: 10/10. swirled mint and chocolate fudge. Super soft and chewy.

Praline: 8/10. vanilla fudge bottom with a caramel and pecan fudge center and more vanilla and caramel fudge swirl on top. Very soft and chewy.

Pineapple: 7/10. Nice pineapple flavored fudge but the texture was too firm.

Orange Cream: 20/10. Perfect vanilla bottom and orange top with a silky smooth texture. I went back to get more and got their chocolate orange and it’s perfection.

Toffee: 6/10. Kinda just tastes like vanilla fudge with toffee bits on top. It’s good but the texture is too firm like the pineapple.

Salted Caramel Chocolate: 15/10. Soft chocolate fudge bottom, salted caramel sauce center and topped with more fudge but it’s almost a brownie like texture and some sea salt. It’s so fucking good, got more of this too.

Not picture but I got a jalapeño chocolate one and it’s very basic fudge but has a nice kick and I got peanut butter fudge but haven’t tried it yet.

Everything I made: Chocolate Chip Cookies, Strawberry cupcakes with strawberry buttercream, and a white cake with vanilla buttercream.

So we’re traveling 6 hours with all of these baked goods in TEXAS (it’s blistering ass hot outside and buttercream and heat do not work well together) and we still don’t have a time or location for a party that is tomorrow. Mind you, this is for my cousin’s 21st birthday and my aunt ASKED ME to make all of this. She asked to pay and I declined because they’re family but now I’m pissed because what do you mean you’re going to ask me to make all of this stuff and act like we’re not invited.

At this point, we’re going up there and I’m going for my cousins, not their parent’s shitty attitudes. And if they’re sucky, I’ll still go have a great time with my parents and sister because it’s a cool town with plenty of fun stuff to do that doesn’t involve family being torrentially annoying.

I know it’s not Saturday but I’m so excited about my new bakery cart that it literally feels like my heart is going to explode out of my chest. One of my special interests is baking, literally anything, I just LOVE baking and I’ve had a business for several years but it’s been slow moving and I feel like I’m going to start gaining more traction with this new endeavor and that feels so good. It’s a rolling cooler and I added a pink cash box and hand placed all of the sprinkle decals (they go all the way around) and IT’S SO CUTE!!! I’m literally obsessed with it. I think my parents are a bit annoyed with how much I’m talking about it but I’m like jumping for joy excited and I never get this excited about anything. I’m seriously ecstatic. And I’ll be going into substitute teaching next month, college, and I’ll have my business going and I’m just so excited to finally feel successful and truly happy in what I do.

They came out SO GOOD!! They’re honey sweet bread rolls with a brown butter, brown sugar, and toasted cornmeal filling with a honey buttercream glaze and topped with some more of the brown sugar, brown butter and cornmeal filling but toasted and crumbled. I’m trying to get down the recipe as this one was kid of just thrown together by feel, like a true southern cook lol, but I’ll comment it as soon as I can.

EDIT*** Here’s the recipe

Honey Butter Cornbread Cinnamon Rolls

(Makes 6-8 jumbo rolls)

Dough:

-1 tbsp dry active yeast

-1 tbsp sugar + 1/3 cup sugar

-1/4 cup honey

-1 cup milk, warmed

-2 eggs

-6 tbsp salted butter, melted

-1 tsp vanilla extract

-1 tsp salt

-4 to 4 1/2 cups all purpose flour (may need more, just be careful not to add too much)

A stand mixer isn’t needed (I don’t use it for huge batches) but it does make the kneading easier. Start with a paddle/whisk attachment for the wet ingredients and switch to the hook after adding the flour.

1.) Into a bowl/mixer bowl, using the whisk/paddle attachment, combine the yeast, 1 tbsp sugar, and milk and allow to set until its foamy (if not, the yeast is dead and it won’t work). Once foamy, add in the remaining sugar, honey, eggs, vanilla, and melted butter and mix until combined.

2.) Then, add in the salt and flour. Start with 4 cups of flour and add more as needed. Allow to mix/knead until a smooth dough forms. Add into a lightly buttered/oiled bowl and allow to proof until doubled in size.

Filling:

-1/2 cup salted butter, browned and cooled
(Melt butter over medium low heat until it has reached an amber color and has a nutty aroma and place into fridge until it’s firm but not hard, closer to softened)

-1 cup brown sugar

-1/2 cup yellow cornmeal, toasted
(Toast in a dry pan over medium heat until lightly browned and fragrant)

Topping:

-Heavy cream

3.) For the filling, beat together the softened brown butter, toasted and cooled cornmeal, and brown sugar until combined. Set aside while rolling out the dough.

4.) Dump the dough onto a floured surface and roll into a rectangle that’s roughly 12x24 inches. Spread the filling onto the dough evenly.

5.) Roll into a tube and cut into 6-8 rolls, place into a parchment lined 9x13 pan, cover and allow to double again for 30-45 minutes while the oven preheats.

6.) Preheat the oven to 350°. Once preheated, top each cinnamon roll with about 2 tbsp of heavy cream. Bake for 25-30 minutes or until the edges are golden brown. And while they’re baking, prepare the glaze and topping.

Honey Butter Glaze:

-1/2 cup salted butter, softened

-2 cups powdered sugar

-1/4 cup honey

-1/2 tsp salt

Cornbread Topping:

-2 tbsp salted butter, browned and melted

-1/3 cup yellow cornmeal, toasted

-3/4 cup brown sugar

7.) Using a whisk attachment, whip together the butter and honey until light and fluffy. Then mix in the powdered sugar and salt until combined. If it’s dry, you can add more honey or a little milk. Set aside.

8.) For the cornbread topping, mix together all the ingredients until it’s crumbly. Place on a parchment lined baking sheet and toast at 275° for 8-10 minutes or until browned, stirring every few minutes so it doesn’t get burnt. Allow to cool.

9.) Allow the rolls to cool for 15-ish minutes and then top with the glaze. This will allow it to melt into the rolls AND keep a nice spreadable glaze on top. Sprinkle the cornbread topping on top and serve!

Egg white “pancake” with sugar free syrup

I just wanted some protein but eating is literally making my head throb today.

And like I said, never watch it because you’ll sob.

And stummy cramps.

And probably the runs.

It’s okay though, I have my pepto on standby.

We’ve been visiting family a lot and have been babysitting as well so I’ve been baking a lot AND having some fruit that’s close to going bad so we’ve been making some fruit-y stuff and some stuff for easy breakfasts for kids.

Here’s what everything was:

1.) S’mores Banana Bread: chocolate chip banana bread with a cinnamon graham cracker crumble, toasted marshmallows, and semi-sweet chocolate drizzle

2.) Coffee Cake Banana Bread: cinnamon banana bread with a brown sugar cinnamon ribbon, brown sugar cinnamon crumble and cinnamon glaze

3.) Cheddar Apple Pie: apple pie topped with a cheddar brown sugar crumble

4.) Salted, Everything, Monkey Bread, and Cinnamon Crunch Bagels

5.) Brownies topped with Salted Chocolate Fudge

Burnt marshmallows are the only way to make s’mores and I stand by that. I totally didn’t just leave them under the broiler for too long.

Here’s the recipe:

S’mores Banana Bread Loaf

Banana Loaf:

-3/4 cup salted butter, softened

-1 cup brown sugar

-2 eggs

-1 tsp vanilla extract

-4 brown-ripe bananas

-1 1/2 cup all purpose flour

-1 tbsp cinnamon

-1 tsp baking soda

-1/2 tsp salt

-1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Graham Cracker Crumble:

-1/4 cup brown sugar

-1/4 cup all purpose flour

-1/2 cup finely crushed graham crackers

-2 tbsp salted butter, melted

-1 tsp cinnamon

S’mores Toppings:

-Mini marshmallows, enough to cover the top of the loaf

-1/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips, melted

1. Preheat the oven to 350° and line a 9x5-inch loaf pan with parchment paper.

2. Cream together the butter, sugar, eggs and vanilla extract until light and fluffy. Then, mix in the bananas, it will curdle but that’s how it’s supposed to look. And finally, mix in the dry ingredients until just combined. Then, mix in the chocolate chips until evenly distributed.

3. For the graham cracker crumble, combine all the ingredients until a crumbly but lightly wet mixture forms and set aside.

4. Pour the batter into the pan and top with the graham cracker crumble and bake for 35-45 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean when inserted in the middle. Allow to cool.

5. For the s’mores topping, cover the top of the loaf with mini marshmallows and place back into the oven for 5-ish minutes or until the marshmallows have puffed and then run under the broiler for 30-60 seconds or until they’ve reached your desired toasted point.

6. Remove from the oven, drizzle the melted chocolate chips on top and serve!

Banoffee Cake Loaf

Banana Loaf:

-3/4 cup salted butter, softened

-1 cup brown sugar

-2 eggs

-1 tsp vanilla extract

-4 brown-ripe bananas

-1 1/2 cup all purpose flour

-1 tbsp cinnamon

-1 tsp baking soda

-1/2 tsp salt

Cinnamon Ribbon:

-1/2 cup brown sugar

-1 tbsp cinnamon

Brown Sugar Crumble:

-1/2 cup brown sugar

-1/2 cup all purpose flour

-2 tbsp salted butter, melted

-1 tsp cinnamon

Cinnamon Glaze:

-1 cup powdered sugar

-1 tsp cinnamon

-1 tsp vanilla extract

-2 tbsp heavy cream, more or less

-1/4 tsp salt

1. Preheat the oven to 350° and line a 9x5-inch loaf pan with parchment paper.

2. Cream together the butter, sugar, eggs and vanilla extract until light and fluffy. Then, mix in the bananas, it will curdle but that’s how it’s supposed to look. And finally, mix in the dry ingredients until just combined. Then, in a separate bowl, for the cinnamon ribbon, combine the two ingredients and set aside.

3. For the brown sugar crumble, combine all the ingredients until a crumbly but lightly wet mixture forms and set aside.

4. Pour half of the batter into the lined loaf pan, sprinkle all of the cinnamon ribbon mixture over top, and cover with the remaining batter. Top with the brown sugar crumble and bake for 35-45 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean when inserted in the middle. Allow to cool.

5. For the cinnamon glaze, combine all the dry ingredients and vanilla. Slowly add in the heavy cream as you don’t want it to be too runny. You want it to be thick enough to ribbon but not thin enough that it soaks into the loaf.

6. Once the loaf has cooled, drizzle the glaze on top and serve!

This will 100% be your new favorite way to eat banana bread! It is SO GOOD!! It’s a cinnamon banana loaf with a brown sugar cinnamon ribbon through the middle, a brown sugar crumble, and cinnamon glaze. If anyone wants the recipes, I’ll gladly share it!

Banoffee Cake Loaf

Banana Loaf:

-3/4 cup salted butter, softened

-1 cup brown sugar

-2 eggs

-1 tsp vanilla extract

-4 brown-ripe bananas

-1 1/2 cup all purpose flour

-1 tbsp cinnamon

-1 tsp baking soda

-1/2 tsp salt

Cinnamon Ribbon:

-1/2 cup brown sugar

-1 tbsp cinnamon

Brown Sugar Crumble:

-1/2 cup brown sugar

-1/2 cup all purpose flour

-2 tbsp salted butter, melted

-1 tsp cinnamon

Cinnamon Glaze:

-1 cup powdered sugar

-1 tsp cinnamon

-1 tsp vanilla extract

-2 tbsp heavy cream, more or less

-1/4 tsp salt

1. Preheat the oven to 350° and line a 9x5-inch loaf pan with parchment paper.

2. Cream together the butter, sugar, eggs and vanilla extract until light and fluffy. Then, mix in the bananas, it will curdle but that’s how it’s supposed to look. And finally, mix in the dry ingredients until just combined. Then, in a separate bowl, for the cinnamon ribbon, combine the two ingredients and set aside.

3. For the brown sugar crumble, combine all the ingredients until a crumbly but lightly wet mixture forms and set aside.

4. Pour half of the batter into the lined loaf pan, sprinkle all of the cinnamon ribbon mixture over top, and cover with the remaining batter. Top with the brown sugar crumble and bake for 35-45 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean when inserted in the middle. Allow to cool.

5. For the cinnamon glaze, combine all the dry ingredients and vanilla. Slowly add in the heavy cream as you don’t want it to be too runny. You want it to be thick enough to ribbon but not thin enough that it soaks into the loaf.

6. Once the loaf has cooled, drizzle the glaze on top and serve!

For this one I used a store bought crust because I didn’t have time to make a homemade cheddar crust but it would be SO MUCH BETTER with a cheddar crust. It’s really good though. I’ve never really seen anyone do a cheddar crumble on a pie or really even incorporate the cheese into the pie, they usually just put it on top but I Megaminded it and it’s 🤌🏻🤌🏻

Pie Crust (makes 3, this recipe will use 1)

Mix together:

•3 cups AP flour

•1 tsp baking powder

•2 tsp salt

•1 cup finely shredded sharp cheddar

Add to flour mixture and pinch/mix in, leaving small chunks of butter throughout:

•1 1/3 c salted butter, cold and cubed

Mix together & pour over the dry mix and combine until a dough forms:

•1 egg

•1 tbsp apple cider vinegar

•5 tbsp cold water

Form into a dough ball and divide into 3 crusts, leave one out to use and refrigerate or freeze the others.

They’re technically pragels, soft pretzel bagels, which is why the texture is more fluffy but they do still have a nice chew to them as they set and cool.

The top two are plain flavored bagels and are topped with everything bagel seasoning and coarse salt. The bottom two are cinnamon flavored bagels and the monkey bread on has a brown sugar cinnamon streusel/crumb topping and the cinnamon crunch is cinnamon and turbinado sugar.

And they’re homemade of course!

Here’s the recipe:

In a large pot over medium heat, melt and brown until golden in color and nutty in aroma:

-1 cup salted butter

Then, turn off the heat and add in:

-16oz marshmallows

Mix the marshmallows around until evenly coated in the butter. Turn the heat back onto low and melt the marshmallows and mix everything together.

Then, mix in:

-1 tsp vanilla extract

-1 tsp salt (optional)

And slowly begin to add in the rice cereal, I think I used about 6-8 cups, I kind of go by feel at this point. Leave the heat on low still but the texture should be really thick and evenly coated in marshmallow but not so much that it’s goopy.

Remove from the heat and fold in until evenly distributed:

-5 oz (half 10oz bag) mini marshmallows

Press into a lightly buttered/greased 9x13 pan and allow to set until cooled before cutting into 20-24 squares.

One are very soft and fluffy fresh out of the oven and after they’ve cooled have a nice chewy outer edge and a more set interior but stay very fluffy. Do y’all prefer said texture or the chewier and more sturdy bagel texture?

Browned butter Rice Krispie treat or soft & fluffy everything bagel? All homemade of course.

I know it’s only week two but I’m still so happy that I gained another client/customer through Reddit. It’s so vast on here, the fact that I came into contact with someone in my town AND they’re buying from me is mind blowing lol. Small town USA really coming in clutch this 2026 season.

Last week they ordered cinnamon crunch bagels and chocolate chip cookies and this week they ordered Everything bagels and classic rice cereal treats. It was raining last week so I couldn’t get good pictures or cross sections of those bagels but I did this week and trust when I say they are so soft and fluffy, it’s insane. Also, I use browned butter in my rice cereal treats so they’re extra 🤌🏻🤌🏻. I hope they enjoy everything because I appreciate their time and business so much!

This touched my soul in a religious and mildly sexual way. And yes, the Reese’s cups are from Christmas and the M&Ms from Easter. I was out of chocolate chips.