u/KookachuSeagull_07

And by best friends, I don't mean the cutesy and cheerful things. It's more like a we get each other through things and have seen e/o at our lowest. We're messy but are each other's ride or die. I want songs with this vibe. Please help me out!

I feel like Lily gets appreciated a lot for being funny, outspoken, talented, etc., but I don't see enough discussion about something I genuinely admire about her: She seems to have a surprisingly strong sense of accountability and basic human decency for someone who has grown up in an industry where those things can very easily get swallowed by image management. And I'm not saying she's perfect or that we know what she's like privately. We obviously don't. I'm talking about the patterns we've actually been able to see from her over the years.

1. She refuses to participate in the “women competing with women” thing.

This is probably my favorite example. She once said to a fan:

“Never ever compare women who are all amazing. Why are we comparing? They can all be pretty at the same time.”

That is such a small thing, but I LOVE the instinct behind it. She actively rejected the idea that two women have to be ranked against each other. And this matters in K-pop especially, because female idols are constantly pitted against one another over beauty, popularity, bodies, talent, brands, charts, etc. I recently came across another YT short where the OP had mocked a member from another group for singing a hard song with voice cracks and compared it to Lily singing it properly. And then I was glad to see that the comment section was filled with people saying the above quote by Lily. It just shows that when an idol speaks out and supports people, they have the ability to spread the right message among fans.

2. She actually calls out disrespect, even when it's directed at HER.

This is another thing I appreciate. During a livestream, someone commented that Lily's bleached hair looked “dead.” She basically went.

“That's so mean… why would you say that? … You can keep it to yourself.”

BUT THEN SHE ALSO SAID SHE FORGAVE THEM.

She didn't normalize the person being unnecessarily mean, but she also didn't turn one stupid comment into a massive hate train. The message was essentially:

“That was mean. Don't talk to people like that. But I'm not going to spend the rest of my live hating you.”

That is honestly a pretty healthy way to handle conflict.

3. She's willing to correct people when someone's words are being unfairly represented.

There was an interview this year where Haewon described herself as 개인주의 as a trainee ; meaning more individualistic/self-oriented. The translator initially rendered it as “selfish.” Lily immediately reacted and corrected the wording to “individualistic.” That might seem ridiculously minor, but I think it's important. She wasn't even the person being described. She heard her friend being characterized more negatively than what she had actually said. That's a good quality in a friend.

4. She seems genuinely interested in talking about difficult subjects with fans.

This is where her book club is actually really cool. Lily's Lily's Lost the Plot project isn't just “here's my favorite book, guys!” She discusses books and movies with fans and has gotten into topics including:

• toxic masculinity
• grief
• loneliness
• self-absorption within fandom
• relationships
• identity and growing up

That's pretty unusual for an idol's fan content. And I think the important part is that she's not positioning herself as some all-knowing intellectual. She's basically asking the opinions of her fan on things she just read/watched. That's a much healthier relationship with an audience than treating fans like people who exist solely to praise you. Teen Vogue recently described the project as a space for thoughtful discussion, and Lily herself explained that she started it largely because she loves talking about things she loves.

5. She actually seems to understand that idols have influence over young people.

This one really stuck with me. At the end of her recent Teen Vogue interview, she was asked if she had anything else she wanted to say. She could've promoted NMIXX or talked about herself. Instead, she chose to talk about teenagers' mental health and self-image. Her message was essentially that someone's appearance is the least interesting thing about them, that they should take care of their health, and that they shouldn't believe everything they see online. That is something I really appreciate. Because she seems conscious of the fact that there are young people watching her.

6. She's unusually comfortable admitting that she doesn't have all the answers.

This is something that gets lost because Lily is very outspoken. From her interviews and livestreams, she often comes across as someone who's willing to talk through a thought, change direction, joke about herself, or acknowledge that something is complicated. And that's important because being a good role model isn't the same thing as being perfectly correct all the time.

I'd actually trust someone more if they can say “I don't know” or reconsider something than someone who acts like they have the moral high ground 24/7.

7. Even her more ridiculous moments show how little she seems interested in maintaining a perfectly manufactured persona.

Lily is… Lily. She's said some absolutely unhinged things on livestreams, has accidentally spoiled things, talks about random topics for ages, gets extremely passionate about books/movies/music, and generally has the energy of someone who occasionally forgets she's an internationally famous idol. And honestly?

I think that's healthy.

Not because idols should have zero boundaries, but because she doesn't seem obsessed with projecting this impossibly polished personality at every second. She can be serious when something matters and completely ridiculous five seconds later. That combination makes her feel human.

8. She's a good example without needing to be treated like a saint.

And THIS is probably the biggest reason I wanted to make this post. I don't think “Lily is a good person” should mean:

Lily has never made a mistake and therefore everything she does is morally correct.

That's parasocial nonsense. She's a human being. She's going to say dumb things sometimes. She's going to misunderstand things sometimes. She's going to have bad days. We don't know her privately. But from what she's publicly shown us, there are certain qualities that I genuinely think are worth appreciating:
She doesn't like women being pitted against each other.
She doesn't tolerate unnecessary cruelty.
She defends people when their words are being misrepresented.
She encourages people to think for themselves.
She seems conscious of the influence she has on younger fans.
She can stand up for herself without turning everything into hatred.
And she doesn't seem afraid to be an actual person instead of a perfectly sanitized idol character.

That's the kind of idol I personally find worth looking up to. Not because she's flawless.

But because the values she repeatedly seems to gravitate toward and treating other people like actual human beings. These are are good values regardless of whether you're an idol or just some random person on the internet.

I'll go first.
3rd gen - SEVENTEEN, TWICE
4th gen - SKZ, ENHYPEN, TXT, ATEEZ, i-dle, ITZY, LSRFM
5th gen - MEOVV, AD1, ZB1, BABYMONSTER

I’m saying this as a 4th/5th gen multistan and have been in this spectrum for nearly 9 years myself, so this isn't me trying to drag any particular fandom or pretend my fandom is somehow better than everyone else's. I've seen this behaviour from basically every fandom at some point, including ones I'm part of. But genuinely…
Why do some of y'all need to fight over EVERYTHING?
Every comeback, chart position, award, music show win, sales milestone, record and every little interaction between idols somehow turns into a fandom war. And I understand competition. Voting, streaming, buying albums, promoting your faves, wanting them to win awards, trying to get them higher on charts — that's part of being a fan. If your group has a comeback and you want to help them succeed, that's great. But somewhere along the way, some people have turned supporting their favourite group into hating everyone else's. And I genuinely don't understand why.

If your group gets a huge achievement, be happy. Celebrate it. They worked hard for it.
You don't need to immediately pull up another group to prove that your faves are "better."
Someone else's comeback sells an insane number of albums? Good for them.
Someone wins an award your group didn't? Congratulations to them.
Someone breaks a record? That's an achievement worth acknowledging, even if it isn't your favourite group's record.
Your favourite group does not become less successful because another group succeeded.
And this isn't just about achievements.

The constant chart comparison is exhausting.
"Group A debuted with more sales."
"Group B has more streams."
"Group C has more music show wins."
"Group D has better Spotify numbers."
"Group E is falling off."
"Group F is the real 4th gen leader."
Can we please stop acting like there is some giant invisible scoreboard determining which idols are allowed to have successful careers? There are multiple successful groups at the same time. A group can be doing well without being the #1 group in every possible category. And honestly, sometimes the way people talk about charts makes it sound like the idols themselves are sitting in a boardroom staring at Melon rankings and crying because another group got 12,000 more streams.
They're not. These are people making music.

And while we're here, can we talk about the constant "X could never" attitude? You don't have to like another group's song or their concept. You don't have to think their choreography is good. You don't even have to listen to them. But why do some of you act like admitting another idol is talented somehow means your bias has lost? You can praise someone without betraying your ult. You can say "that was a great performance" and still love your group more than anything. There is no loyalty test.

Stop turning idols into weapons against each other.
This one bothers me the most. Someone will post a clip of an idol doing something impressive and instead of enjoying it, the replies become: "MY FAVE DOES THIS BETTER."
"X has been doing this for years."
"Z has better vocals."
WHY 😭
Someone posted a cover video. You don't have to summon an entire generation into the comments section. Not everything is a competition. Sometimes a good performance is just… a good performance.

And please stop discrediting achievements.
This is especially ridiculous. If another group achieves something, suddenly there are ten explanations for why it "doesn't count."
"Company privilege."
"Mass buying."
"Fanbase manipulation."
"Ads."
"Streams aren't organic."
"Anyone can do that."
And then when your own group achieves the exact same thing, suddenly it's the greatest accomplishment in human history. Be consistent. If you think a metric is flawed, that's a legitimate discussion. But don't suddenly decide that a metric is meaningless only when another group succeeds at it.

The same goes for "company privilege."
Yes, company resources matter. Yes, different groups have different levels of promotion, funding, connections and opportunities. Yes, the K-pop industry isn't some perfectly fair meritocracy. But some fans use "company privilege" as a way to completely erase the effort of the idols. You can acknowledge that a group has advantages and acknowledge that the members worked incredibly hard. Those things can coexist. An idol didn't personally choose the size of their company's marketing budget. They didn't personally negotiate their distribution deals or decide how many albums their company prints. And yet somehow fans will use those things as reasons to personally attack the idols.

And can we PLEASE stop with plagiarism accusations over every vaguely similar concept?
Two groups using school uniforms doesn't mean somebody stole a concept. Two groups having dark styling doesn't mean somebody copied. Two music videos having a similar colour palette doesn't mean somebody copied. Two songs having a similar genre doesn't mean somebody copied. Two idols making the same expression doesn't mean somebody copied. K-pop has recurring aesthetics. That's literally part of the industry. If there is genuine evidence of plagiarism, criticism is completely fair. But "my group did this first" isn't automatically evidence of plagiarism. You do not own an aesthetic.

And stop using idols' past struggles as fanwar ammunition.
This should honestly go without saying. If an idol has talked about being bullied, struggling with confidence, being overworked, having anxiety about performing, receiving hate, etc., that is not ammunition for your next Twitter argument. Their pain is not a fandom weapon. I've seen people bring up extremely personal things about idols just to win an argument with another fan. That's not defending your group. You're just being cruel.

The member comparisons need to stop too.
"Who is the better dancer?" "Who is the better vocalist?" "Who has better stage presence?" "Who is more talented?"
Some comparisons are harmless and can even be fun. But some people genuinely treat idols like they're competing for one single spot. And especially when it comes to members within the same group, constantly pitting them against each other can get ugly very quickly. You don't need to prove that your bias is better than every other member. You can just like your bias.

And solo stans… please remember that the group is a GROUP.
Having a favourite member is normal. Being especially attached (casually) to one member is normal. Wanting your bias to have more lines, more opportunities, more promotions, etc. is understandable. But there is a point where "I want better treatment for my bias" turns into "I actively hate everyone else in the group." At that point, why are you even calling yourself a group stan? And no, criticizing a company's treatment of a member isn't "hating the group." But dragging the other members, attacking their achievements, insulting their friendships, or blaming them for company decisions isn't helping your bias.

Also: STOP using "flop" for everything.
A group isn't a flop because they didn't reach your preferred chart position. An album isn't a flop because it sold less than another album. A comeback isn't a flop because it didn't break a record. A group isn't "over" because one song performed worse than expected. These are actual human beings with careers that can last for years. Not every release has to break a record. Sometimes a song can simply exist, have fans who love it, and be successful enough.

And this obsession with "who paved the way" needs to die.
Every generation has artists who contributed to the growth of K-pop. Every group builds on something that came before them. Your favourite group can be extremely successful without having to prove that they single-handedly invented an entire genre, generation, or industry. You don't need to erase everyone before them to praise them. And you don't need to erase newer groups to protect their legacy either. History isn't a competition.

Another thing: stop falling for obvious rage bait.
Some accounts literally make posts designed to make fandoms angry. They'll say something obviously inflammatory, wait for thousands of people to quote-tweet it, and then enjoy the engagement. And fandoms fall for it every single time.
"X group has no talent."
"Y group is flopping."
"Z member is ugly."
"Only my group deserves this award."
And suddenly 2,000 people are fighting in the comments.
Please learn to recognize bait. Not every opinion deserves a response. Sometimes the best way to defend your favourite group is to… not give some random account exactly the attention they wanted.

And please don't make everything about fandom morality.
You don't need to decide whether someone is a "bad person" because they listened to another group's song. You don't need to accuse someone of being a fake fan because they didn't stream for 12 hours. You don't need to guilt people for not buying 15 versions of an album. People have school. Work. Families. Money problems. Other interests. Other responsibilities. Streaming and buying albums should be something you do because you want to support an artist. Not because you feel like you're failing them as a human being if you don't.

And this whole "real fan vs fake fan" thing is getting ridiculous.
You don't have to know every birthday or trainee-era story. You don't have to watch every variety appearance. You don't have to defend your idol every time somebody criticizes them. Being a fan isn't a full-time job. You can simply enjoy someone's music.

And honestly, sometimes I think we forget the entire reason most of us got into K-pop in the first place. The music. The performances. The concepts. The ridiculous variety content. The songs that got us through awful days. That's the stuff that actually stays with you. Not whether your fandom ratioed another fandom on Twitter in 2026. Not whether your group was #1 for three weeks instead of two. Not whether someone on Reddit admitted that your bias was talented. Not whether another fandom called your group "flops." None of that is going to matter to you years from now.
The memories might. The artists might. The friendships you made through the music might. The fanwar probably won't. So yes, support your faves. Vote for them. Buy their albums if you can afford it. Go to their concerts. Celebrate their achievements. Defend them when they genuinely deserve defending. But you don't have to tear another group down to lift yours up.

There is enough room in K-pop for multiple groups to succeed. There is enough room for different fandoms. And most importantly, there is enough room for you to enjoy your favourite group without making someone else's favourite group your enemy. Another group's achievement isn't an attack on you. And you don't win anything by making another fandom miserable. Let your faves have their moment. Let other groups have theirs too. We're all here because we love music. Maybe we should start acting like it.

I am asking JYPE to stop playing around. PUT. VOLCANO. ON. SPOTIFY 😭

I have accepted many things in life. I have accepted that Han apparently enjoys creating songs that are so criminally good they get locked away in the dungeon of unreleased/limited-content hell. But VOLCANO??? VOLCANO?????? You mean to tell me this song exists. This song has been sitting there, fully formed for THREE YEARS with 21M views and ISN'T ON ALL MY SPOTFY PLAYLISTS?!🥀😫

I don't want to open YouTube every time I want to hear it or rely on some random upload that gets nuked weeks later (aka Want So Bad). I WANT IT ON SPOTIFY. It's literally buried there in YT and is a favourite within the fandom. IT DESERVES MORE RECOGNITION ❤️‍🩹

And if we're getting REPLAY PT.2 (hopefully), I am manifesting. I'm damn sure there are people whose quality of life would improve SIGNIFICANTLY if you put VOLCANO on streaming services. Actually, forget significant. I would become insufferable. Put VOLCANO on Spotify and I will personally contribute to the streaming numbers until all my devices overheat.

JYPE. Han. Stray Kids. Whoever is in charge of this. I am begging. LET VOLCANO ESCAPE THE VAULT.

I'm bored. Y'all can drop in any Kpop-related questions or my opinions/likings/etc on any Kpop media. Let's be civil and have some fun.

It's by a male artist and has an afropop beat (I think it's rnb too). The lyrics are murmured and here's a few of them I could make out; My body's all fired up.. When I say she calm down.. (no this ain't Calm Down) and I probably misheard it but the chorus is something like my layla, my layla.. Thanks in advance!

It's by a male artist and has an afropop beat (I think it's rnb too). The lyrics are murmured and here's a few of them I could make out; My body's all fired up.. When I say she calm down.. (no this ain't Calm Down) and I probably misheard it but the chorus is something like my layla, my layla.. Thanks in advance!