u/Miserable_Hyena7164

Recently just this yeae, I have been cutting people off more frequently once I feel like they cross the line, are being passive aggressive or if I feel like our friendship is too one sided. I used to be such a people pleaser and terrified of losing friends and being alone but now I find that I have a lower tolerance for bullshit the longer I go alone. I feel that its getting out of hand because I have cut off like 4 people this year. One other long time guy friend abruptly cut off contact with me but he has done this before for months on end.

While with the other 4: Two of them were just casual online friends I met for a month or two and I cut both of them off because they would make rude passive aggressive comments about me in group settings. One was a good friend but I distanced myself from her for several months because my mental health was really bad and I felt like she was expecting so much from me (I had been unemployed for awhile due to severe agoraphobia and she has been pressuring me to get an onsite job quickly). I did greet her on her birthday but I did not reply to her 2 other messages (to be fair she only messages like once a month lmao). But I had told her beforehand that I tend to isolate myself whenever I'm not doing well. So it's not like she has no idea why I'm not reaching out.

The last one was another friend who I had grown to distrust because he would try to flirt with me even when I had told him multiple times that I did not like him that way.

It feels lonely but at the same time. After everything I have been through I just can't be bothered? Because things did end for a reason and I'm tired of settling for friendships that don't even feel safe or make me fulfilled.

May friend me na medyo mas matanda sakin ng ilang taon, settled na sya sa buhay pero galing sya sa mas wealthy na family. Open naman sya sa kwento nya about sa family nya kaya don ko nalaman na may kaya talaga sya. Pero recently, naiilang na ako sa ugali nya, kasi ang dami nya comments about sa mga "poor" or sa mga mahirap. Like magbibiro sya na "ay mahirap ba yan" pag may nakita sya tao online sa phone nya or sa groupchat, tas tatawa sya as if may nakakatawa don or as if dapat ikahiya with matching crying emoji pa lol. One time rin nagsabi me na di ako makakaalis basta basta sa bahay pero balak ko balang araw pag nakaipon na ako, tas sabi nya lang "why don't you just get an apartment?" as if ganon kadali makakuha ng apartment agad agad at hindi need pagipunan. Nagulat rin sya one time na wala daw pala kami kotse at dishwasher. Like yes girl. Hindi lahat may dishwasher at kotse. Tas sabi nya, then pano daw pala kami nakakapaghugas as if di sya marunong maghugas ng pinggan by hand wtf. And other side comments.

Aware sya na struggling ako financially and nagoffer na sya ilang beses na if need ko daw financial help magask lang daw me. Never ko tinanggap kasi sa totoo lang nahihiya rin me. Sa totoo lang okay naman kami sa umpisa pero recently kasi napapansin ko na behavior nya.

Recently di ko na sya cinocontact masyado kasi feel ko we don't have much in common anymore and anlaki na ng difference samin. Most of my friends rin naman pare parehas kami ng background. lower middle class at naiintindihan feeling magipit sa pera.

Hindi naman ako namimili ng kaibigan depende sa background nila pero feeling ko minsan may mga bagay talaga na hindi sila naiintindihan. Nakakaloka lang kasi di ko minamaliit pero parang ang liit ng problema nya minsan. Yung iba kong close na kaibigan talaga iniisip pano bayaran utang, o kaya breadwinner sa pamilya, o iniisip pano ipagtuloy pagaaral nila, and sya tamang bakasyon lang or shopping which is okay naman pero pag kasama yung ibang side comments nya nakakairita. Siguro bitter lang me pero ang hirap rin pala makipag kaibigan pag may class divide.

Ngayon balak ko na lumayo sakanya kasi napaka out of touch nya talaga minsan. And panigurado magrereklamo nanaman yon na ghinost ule sya ng kaibigan nya (may 2 friends na kasi na nang ghost sakanya dati) pero naooff na talaga ako sa ugali nya. Di naman sa judgemental pero parang turn off kasi pag out of touch na privileged.

Hi! Just a casual question. Sa mga nakapunta na sa ibang bansa based sa experiences nyo sino ang mas racist.

I have been frustrated with this friend for awhile. I don't fault her for being more privileged than I am. After all its not her fault she was born into her circumstances. We initially started on good terms but lately I feel like the two of us are just too different. For context, she is more well off than I am and I am struggling financially while also dealing with issues with my mental health, including depression and social anxiety.

Most of my other friends are more or less from the same social class as I am, only 1 or 2 are people I would consider truly well off. And we only met online through a common game and youtuber that we were fans of. Lately though I feel she has been making too many insensitive comments, making fun of me for being poor and saying that something that I could not afford to buy, was actually just cheap.

Back then I had let it slide and I had slowly minimized contact with her because she had made many other backhanded comments about poor people and it didn't sit well with me. It also doesn't help that I'm POC and she is white. She still messages me from time to time and I reply out of politeness but mostly I am just tired of explaining things to her. The last straw was when I said I wouldn't mind getting this game she always mentions to me. She tells me the price and it's quite expensive. I say that I probably won't be able to buy it anytime soon because its quite pricy and then she insists very pointedly that its not. That actually, she found the price of the game very cheap, even though with my circumstances, it's not really that cheap. I explained that the price of the game was almost twice my daily salary and that actually I wouldn't be able to buy it that easily. She then scoffs and insists it's still cheap for most players.

Has anyone else struggled with this?

So I just finished this book and while I get the general gist of the story are googling book discussions, || I'm still confused as to what happens to Max at the end of the book. Does he just disappear afterwards? Also Ava was never real and was just a figment of her imagination that she created from a swan was a sad but surprising twist.

I also choose to believe that Jonah is real. I know its left to interpretation because of the closing lines. But I feel it makes more sense that way. ||

Should I read the second book? The prequel, We Love You Bunny? I heard bad reviews about it and if it doesn't bring any answers to my questions I would rather not read it. I have read the first few chapters and it's been a boring slog for me so far. Not sure if I should finish it.v

This is my first Grishaverse series.

I finished the duology of the Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo and I was disappointed. I liked the first Six of Crows book but the sequel, Crooked Kingdom just didn't do it for me. Kinda disappointed since I heard a lot of praise for this book. Anyone else feel this way? Matthias' death felt unnecessary and rushed and just shoehorned in to make the novel seem more realistic. Which is a shame because I loved his and Nina's dynamic. I hated that it was glossed over so easily and wasn't even clearly explained. I mean there is a brief scene of him getting shot by that Fjerdan kid but that was it. No fanfare, nothing. I feel so hurt because Nina and Matthias are literally my fave characters. It also felt like a cop out that Genya literally just left right when he returned to Nina after getting shot. If he had managed to arrive a bit earlier Genya and Zoya could have saved him. It felt too contrived. I also have no idea how he managed to walk so far up to Nina and the others at the bridge after getting shot.

I was so mad when I got spoiled that Matthias was going to die that I stopped reading it halfway and only recently managed to finish this book. I just hate that Nina, Nina who has been through so much has to lose someone she loves of everyone in the entire cast. It just felt so unfair. It also doesn't help that Nina and Matthias is my fave ship along with Wylan and Jesper. Yeah sorry but Kaz and Inez just didn't do it for me lmao. They are both interesting well fleshed out characters in their own right but their dynamic didn't do it for me. Kaz needs to stop pretending he doesn't care about Inez because he isn't fooling anyone lmao.

I have been growing disillusioned with a white friend and this other community I joined that was primarily white. I have always felt uncomfortable in that server once I realized most of the members were white and I'm planning to leave it. On spaces where there is no openly POP or minority is around, I am shocked by the comments white people make around one another and feel comfortable about. So much casual racism that shows up in snide remarks and oh its just a joke. Ironically, most of the people who make those jokes were Europeans and not even American. So make of that what you will. But this definitely soured and fueled my distrust of white people, especially European white people.

I joined a discord server recently and apparently its full of Europeans. How did I find out? Well every other day there's a joke about Americans "probably an american thing; what don't all americans have AC?; let's face it most americans are stupid; seems like an american thing;" just constant mention of America, America. It was starting to get on my nerves. Mind you this is a server for mental health or "social anxiety".

The americans in the server don't seem to mind. Maybe it is all just a joke to them. But the frequency of these jokes was almost daily. Or every other day. It wasn't even the jokes itself it was just the assumptions and so many of them thinking stereotypes were true to life.

It was jarring to me and I'm not even from America. To be honest, there were bouts of racism here and there too towards Asian countries but I did not expect them to be condescending towards the US because its a majority white populated country/white country primarily, just like many European countries.

Honestly I'm disappointed, people here were nice at first but I noticed a pattern of all they talk about daily is which country they come from and how different it is from other countries or America.

I'm in an online discord server with people from all over the world but predominantly white people from the US, Australia and Europe. I'm from Asia and I don't disclose my race usually in discord servers because I notice some of their behavior starts to change subtly towards me (not all but some).

I lurk from time to time because I'm bored and honestly sometimes I'm blown away by the casual racism some of them show (not to generalize but white Europeans or white British people surprise me in this, I've seen some white Americans be casually racist from time to time but I have seen more examples in this server and online gaming of Europeans just being worse casual racists than Americans ). For example, a British guy who I was making casual banter with while playing a game suddenly went into a whole rant about how immigrants are destroying the UK. He knows I'm a POC and yet he just went off the rails completely. He was perfectly nice and friendly before that. I asked pointedly what his problem with immigrants were and he said he had no problem with the "nice and hardworking races" like the East Asians (lol) but he had a problem with "lazy" Black people and Muslims.

Another Russian girl I also met here, was perfectly nice and civil while we were playing and then suddenly veers into how immigrants are a problem and Romani people are "disgusting". I was surprised because she was Gen Z like me and would have thought, you know, the younger generation would be more open minded than this.

I have also seen Europeans make jokes and assumptions about America? frequently. Some of them are in good fun and clearly not meant to be taken seriously, but often times it comes with an air of superiority and condescension. Sometimes the topic is not even about countries or races in particular and someone in the chat will just veer into "oh that would never fly in the US, they sell guns at Walmart there." It's honestly baffling. I would have thought they would be more accepting of the US more or at the very least dislike it less. After all the US has white people too so to see some people from Europe look down on another white populated country/white adjacent country baffled me.

So I finished the last book in the Poppy War trilogy. And wow that was depressing asf. I had mostly liked the series but the ending was a letdown. I see Rin being corrupted and all that because its based on Mao, by the last few chapters I was actively hoping that Kitay or Nezha would just shoot her to stop her paranoid ass. She had never annoyed me this much as she did in the final few chapters and maybe that was the intention. Also what the fuck the Trifecta died so easily after being hyped throughout the last book. We don't even see them die or see their corpses. All it took was a bunch of planes and zeppelins to bring the strongest shamans down?? Rin just left them at the top of Mount Tiannshen? And never bothered to check for her master's body? Her "victory" against the Hesperian fleet felt hollow because once again it wasn't her victory. She didn't have to do anything because the Trifecta decimated 2/3rds of the fleet for her.

Also lol at Nezha just sending her scrolls daily to annoy her when she was ruling Arlong and the whole nation of Nikara. I know some readers complain her mental decline came out of nowhere but she always struck me as too bloodthirsty and impulsive to have been an effective ruler. The turning point for me was when she had the crowd beat Souji to death in front of her. I know he tried to kill and rape her but that was still shocking. Souji *did kind of deserve it* but yeah still jarring.

It also bothered me that she says later on in the Burning God that there were no longer any shamans in her army. Girl you had them killed because you woke the damn dragon in the damn grotto and somebody else had to deter it for you. It annoyed me so much when her new shamans were being killed off and she wasn't doing anything. She **could** always train new shamans like she did with Dulin and Pipaji so I have no idea why she never bothered to train new shamans again. I get that she was traumatized after what happened with Pipaji and Dulin but there were other plotholes too. I feel this book could have been so much better.

I need to read something happy and mindless after this. Not necessarily YA but some other fantasy books that isn't this grim or dark.

Just got a message from an ex. He reached out again after more than half a year of no contact. Genuinely what is going through in these men's minds.

We had a bitter and messy fallout but that was 7 months ago and even I, who was very upset and mad back then, is no longer that angry. So it boggles my mind that he is still this mad. He is messaging as if we just fought yesterday and not months ago. Does he have delayed processing or what.

He sent a message using a new acct, I deleted it and blocked him without reading everything because I am tired of his lying ass.

But genuinely why do some men do this shit?

Just got a message from an ex. He reached out again after more than half a year of no contact. Genuinely what is going through in these men's minds.

We had a bitter and messy fallout but that was 7 months ago and even I, who was very upset and mad back then, is no longer that angry. So it boggles my mind that he is still this mad. He is messaging as if we just fought yesterday and not months ago. Does he have delayed processing or what.

He sent a message using a new acct, I deleted it and blocked him without reading everything because I am tired of his lying ass.

But genuinely why do some men do this shit?

I forced myself to walk to a nearby convenience store in the middle of the night to withdraw money from an atm.....I have to go back tomorrow because apparently its broken and I don't want to go to a much further away convenience store.

Kind of feel like I failed because I went home immediately since I didn't want to spend too much time outside.

But hey I still stepped out of the house! thats progress right. I am somewhat happy I managed to do it. But still I feel automatically drained and angry when I see strangers outside. I just do not feel safe going outside at all when there are other people around.

I have struggled with depression and social anxiety for most of my life. And I find those who struggle with similar issues as mine often tend to receive less support and get more victim blaming than happy well adjusted people.

I have seen too many cases of people blaming someone for struggling with depression and assuming "they are just lazy" when that is a gross over simplification. People seem think those who suffer with their mental health should just shut up and stop souring the party for everyone...because vibes you know!