u/Miserable_Hyena7164

Lagi ko to naririnig at nakikita online. Would you say this is true? Never been abroad but curious about other people's experiences. May nakilala ako online na pinay na nagwowork sa abroad and yon reason nya bat di sya lumalapit at nakikihalubilo sa pinoy community in her area, lahat ata sila don OFW. Also met another guy online naman sa Dubai for several years, and he told me similar stories.

As someone na almost in her mid twenties, pansin ko uso to sa kabataan, lalo na sa teenagers. Problema ko rin to nung highschool at college, parang tingin sayo ng ibang tao medyo loser ka pag wala ka jowa. May mga flings naman ako pero never seryoso, pero naprepressure rin ako minsan sa mga kakilala na panay tanong if may jowa na ba ako.

Lagi ko rin kasi nakikita post ng mga dati kong kaklase or bagong kakilala, kadalasan, mga either ka age ko or younger than me, sobrang jowang jowa. Like panay memes, post or parinig na jowang jowa sila. Puro jowa hanap imbis na magaral amp di ko alam if signs of aging na ba to hahaha. Kadalasan mga estudyante pa to.

Dumaan rin naman ako sa phase na ganyan pero hindi ko ginawang personality. Napansin ko rin kasi sila rin yung tipo na parang huhusgahan ka if wala ka jowa, o kaya gagawa big deal na nasasaktan sila if may makita sila na magjowa sa movie (kaklase ko dati ganito hahaha), na kesho di daw nila kakayanin if third wheel sila in a friend group outing.

Normal ba na ganon kasakit for the first time. First ko magpa IUD and nagulat ako kasi di ko inexpect na ganon kasakit. Medyo naiinis rin ako sa medical lady na gumagawa kasi parang pinapamuka nya na mababa pain tolerance ko, kaya hindi ko nakaya, also saying na yung 17 year old nga daw na ilang beses na nabuntis nakaya yung pain pag ininsert yung metal tool na gagamitin para ilagay yung IUD. Nagpacheck up ako sa obygyne after at sabi nya baka may vaginismus daw ako kaya baka hindi muna ako makapag IUD immediately.

Wondering if may iba dito na ganito rin ang problema. Also any tips for those na nakapag pa IUD kahit may vaginismus, and any recos for female doctors na medyo mas mabait at accomodating if magpapalagay na ng IUD, near Quezon City sana. Thank you!

Medyo na turn off rin kasi ako don sa babae na maglalagay sakin dapat, gusto ko kasi itake yung pang ilang years (yung pang 6 years) na, and inask nya if may sexual partner ba ako and sabi ko wala for now, gusto ko lang talaga imake sure na in the future if may mangyayare protektado. At parang dinidiscourage pa nya ako na magpa IUD, kasi bata pa daw ako, for context I am 22 years old. This is at Likhaan Center, and I was disappointed because I heard good reviews about them.

Di ako sure kung samin lang o sa buong barangay pa, wala pa kasi nagbubukas ilaw kahit sa kapitbahay kasi maliwanag pa samin.

What do you guys do with girls na malakas maka pick me at puno ng internalized misogyny? I know many girls na ganito in real life and I notice na sila usually ang di mo ineepxect na puno ng internalized misogyny.

I have given up trying to argue with them regarding women's issues and I notice na sila usually ang conservative. Knew a girl na malalas mang slutshame, pero todo defend sa mga lalaki, plus malakas pa manira sa mga kapwa nya babae. Usually I avoid them, but when I have to deal with them for work and whatnot it gets exhausting.

Mga iba rin sakanila prolife and hilig magpalaganap sa rape culture.

Can't repost it here or crosspost for some reason, but I wanted to ask what you guys think? Para sakin ang OA lang. Wala pa nga Philippines sa pinaka malaking country na malaki population, malakas sa manufacturing, and its not like we are the only 3rd world country na may problema sa basura. Ang nakakainis lang is Pinoy pa mismo nagpost and pinost pa online for the validation ng mga kano.

Nakakatuwa lang yung mga ganito, alam ko na di perpekto bansa natin at nagagalit rin naman ako minsan pero jusko, ibang level na yung internalized self hatred ng mga pinoy. Minsan sobrang pagka kumbaba na sa sarili at sa sariling bansa, nagmumuka ng self hatred eh.

I saw a post about this awhile ago, that reading should be considered a privilege. While I agree that having the free time and lack of stress to read a lot is a privilege (and because many printed books are expensive), I think thanks to the internet, many books are now available for free to people, as long as they have a phone and access to data/internet. And because of that, hindi naman sya masasabi na privilege talaga.

I have mixed feelings about this one. Tbf when I was stressed with my job I didn't have as much time to read and I was never in the mood, but now I am in a slightly better mental health space, it is easier for me to get back into reading.

Ano tingin nyo guys? Mahal rin kasi talaga mga libro dito sa pilipinas at bihira lang rin ang mga library, pero meron naman mga free websites kung san pwede ka magdownload ng ebooks for free, or tulad rin sa mga sites ng A03 or wattpad. Hindi sila technically mga libro pero may mga free written works don at marami naman nagbabasa don, at popular yon sa mga kabataan.

Isa ring factor ay dahil sa social media, mas mabilis na rin madistract mga tao, bakit magbabasa ang mga tao if pwede naman magscroll or nood nalang diba. I guess its harder to read when there are so many distracting forms of entertainment, such as social media, tv shows and video games.

Just a casual question. Pansin ko marami or kadalasan ng mga todo defend sa pagkasal sa mga teenagers dito sa reddit nung sinaunang panahon, kadalasan mga lalaki or grown men. Medyo nakakasuka nga eh sa totoo lang kasi minsan sa tono nila mapapansin mo na parang hangad pa nila na sana ganito pa rin sa current times. Pero unlucky for them, times have changed and more women, especially young teens don't have to be forced to be wed. My grandmother had 6 children and isa ring factor is hindi pa common ang contraceptives or family planning noon.

Malaki pa rin ang teen birth rates and that is still a problem but it is luckily no longer viewed as normal, healthy or something to aspire to. Pero for some reason dami pa rin grown men na nagmamanyak sa mga teenagers or nagcacatcall sa mga female teens. I have a younger cousin na teenager and she always gets catcalled at lagi namamanyakan ng mga much older men sa daan. One time malapit pa nga sya makidnap ng isang tricycle driver nung 12 years old sya, buti nalang andon tito namin.

What do you girls think? Women only question kasi alam ko na dami groomer defenders pag tinanong ko mga lalaki.

I see this all the time in Tiktok, and I see this behavior in real life. Girls, and some men too, will post tiktoks saying "when you finally se the reason why a girl has no friends", or "when you finally see why a guy has no friends". People rely on social proof and I think we can all see just how prevalent this way of thinking is. I do not know why but this kind of thinking feels victim blamey to me.

It reminds me of a girl I knew who was sexually ssaulted in our classroom but no one believed her and chose to blame her. It also reminds me of a transferee classmate I had in highschool who had Aspergers and was bullied and ostracized. She had no friends except for me and I was the only one who would sit beside her in class because no one else would. There was nothing wrong with her mind you, she just couldn't speak the native tongue and only knew Chinese and English which is why my classmates didn't like her.

This kind of mindset is damaging and I am so so so sick of people perpetuating this narrative that if you don't have a friend from elementary or highschool, it's a red flag. That if you don't have friends, you're the problem. Spoiler alert, the worst people and worst abusers I know have MANY friends and LARGE social circles. I don't know how they do it, but they manage to charm the people around them while only abusing one person who then in turn will be believed by nobody. I see this happen too many times.

As someone who was also bullied before but was luckily to make a few friends here and there and who avoids large groups because of my experience, I understand why someone would want to isolate themselves to protect themselves.

I am so sick of usually mean girls and neurotypicals who say shit like this. Their brain relies too much on social proof and while that's fine and all its veering into victim blaming territory and seeking to pass judgement on someone they cannot understand.

I suppose it's easier to believe that there is a reason for everything and to believe that the world is just (i.e if you are good, people will be good to you, and vice versa) when THAT IS NOT simply the case. Shitty things can happen to you even if you are a good person.

Sorry for the long rant. I am just so tired of people lacking empathy and immediately blaming victims or finding a way to pinpoint the blame on someone who is struggling to make friends, as someone with social anxiety.

Napansin ko recently na karamihan ng libro na nababasa ko is in English and may times na feel ko na I am losing touch with my culture chariz HAHAHAHA. If may books kayo na recommend na written in Tagalog, please suggest them, okay lang rin if asa English yung book/novel as long as Filipino author, since gusto ko rin makabasa ng literature from the perspective of a fellow Filipino, rather than sa Western or foreign perspective. Tutal Buwan naman ng Wika this month eme.

I already have "Bata Bata, pano ka ginawa?" and I am planning to read it as well.

Thank you for any suggestions!! Also nagtry na rin ako sa wattpad and wala maayos don unfortunately, sobrang bihira at ang hirap pa hanapin, and while it is nice to see na marami sakanila nakasulat sa Filipino, kadalasan smut ang nakikita ko.

It's a shame kasi gusto ko sana mahasa lalo sa wikang Filipino. Marunong naman me magtagalog pero I want to learn further.

A pet peeve of mine but I find it so annoying when the white perspective is considered the default. They monopolize most of media and even history is primarily told from the perspective of Europe and White Americans. It must be nice to see yourself as the default and to be represented everywhere.

It's also why I find it so annoying when I see white people interact with things from other cultures and say "oooh its so exotic". As if its merely an object of fascination or entertainment and not a way of life or a part of life for a large part of the world. It's so laughable to me when white people think their way of living is the only way to live.

I once told a white casual friend that I ate this specific dish with my family and she said she couldn't fathom eating rice everyday. That in their country they only ate bread. So it was weird that we ate rice so much. It annoyed me to no end because not everyone lives in her country. This isn't the first time I have come across white people who will assume that their way of living, the food they eat, their language (English usually) is supposed to be the default.

It is annoying asf. I am also in this server for mental health support and its mostly filled with Europeans and white Americans, and I feel so alienated. It was also jarring to see how white people will default to stereotypes so easily and so often, even with one another.

I see the white Europeans stereotype all Americans as being gun loving fat people and its baffling to me. They clearly view white Americans as their slightly odd but still white cousins, while I see the white Americans look up to the culture of these white Europeans. It has been interesting to see how they interact lol at the very least.

Ako lang ba natuturn off pag jejemon kausap? HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA hindi lang sa katalking stage or sa lalaki, pero kahit as friends lang.

May isa ako na casual online friend, nakakalaro ko lang naman sya, pero nabadtrip talaga ako sa typings nya kasi ang hirap intindihin. Laging walang vowels lahat ng sentence nya. Kunware yung "hindi" nya "nd". Pag indi or inde pwede pa eh. Pero lahat nalang ng vowels lagi wala kaya nahihirapan ako magets HAHAHAHAHHA. Pag medyo boomer maiintindihan ko pa, pero nasa early 30s naman to.

Hindi lang yon naturn off rin ako sa ugali nya, kasi galit pa rin sya sa mga nasa star section or sa mga honor students nung asa highschool sya. Hindi naman daw sya nabully pero mayabang daw kaya galit pa rin sya hanggang ngayon kahit nasa 30s naman na sya. Medyo na off rin ako kausapin sya kasi spelling nya sa "tragic" ay "traject".

May mga older mommies rin naman ako na friend na medyo jeje magtype, pero naiintindihan mo pa rin naman sinasabi nila. Eto kasi talaga pahirapan intindihin sinasabi nya. Hindi naman sa pagiging elitista pero na off rin ako na parang ang baba or ang sama ng tingin nya sa mga matalino na kaklase nya dati, kahit wala naman pala ginagawa sakanya.

May nakikita me na maraming ganito online: minsan legit, minsan hindi. May mga nafollow rin ako na ganito for support but I don't send money.

May mga times na feel ko na yung iba nagpapanggap nalang at nagpapaawa: for example may kilala ako na youtuber, onti lang subscribers nya, nagpopost sya content ng "as a poor family in ph" and lagi humihingi ng donations sa videos nya, parang nangbabait ng engagement at paawa effect. Usually marami rin naniniwala, kadalasan taga ibang bansa at marami nagdodonate ng pera or ng food.

How do you differentiate sa mga need talaga ng tulong versus sa mga laging humihingi ng donations sa mga lives at sa vids? Feel ko valid naman if kunware may sakit yung pamilya o kaya namatayan pero minsan yung iba kasi nagsasabi na mahirap sila pero makikita mo bahay at pagkain nila, parang hindi naman naghihirap talaga.

Recently just this yeae, I have been cutting people off more frequently once I feel like they cross the line, are being passive aggressive or if I feel like our friendship is too one sided. I used to be such a people pleaser and terrified of losing friends and being alone but now I find that I have a lower tolerance for bullshit the longer I go alone. I feel that its getting out of hand because I have cut off like 4 people this year. One other long time guy friend abruptly cut off contact with me but he has done this before for months on end.

While with the other 4: Two of them were just casual online friends I met for a month or two and I cut both of them off because they would make rude passive aggressive comments about me in group settings. One was a good friend but I distanced myself from her for several months because my mental health was really bad and I felt like she was expecting so much from me (I had been unemployed for awhile due to severe agoraphobia and she has been pressuring me to get an onsite job quickly). I did greet her on her birthday but I did not reply to her 2 other messages (to be fair she only messages like once a month lmao). But I had told her beforehand that I tend to isolate myself whenever I'm not doing well. So it's not like she has no idea why I'm not reaching out.

The last one was another friend who I had grown to distrust because he would try to flirt with me even when I had told him multiple times that I did not like him that way.

It feels lonely but at the same time. After everything I have been through I just can't be bothered? Because things did end for a reason and I'm tired of settling for friendships that don't even feel safe or make me fulfilled.

May friend me na medyo mas matanda sakin ng ilang taon, settled na sya sa buhay pero galing sya sa mas wealthy na family. Open naman sya sa kwento nya about sa family nya kaya don ko nalaman na may kaya talaga sya. Pero recently, naiilang na ako sa ugali nya, kasi ang dami nya comments about sa mga "poor" or sa mga mahirap. Like magbibiro sya na "ay mahirap ba yan" pag may nakita sya tao online sa phone nya or sa groupchat, tas tatawa sya as if may nakakatawa don or as if dapat ikahiya with matching crying emoji pa lol. One time rin nagsabi me na di ako makakaalis basta basta sa bahay pero balak ko balang araw pag nakaipon na ako, tas sabi nya lang "why don't you just get an apartment?" as if ganon kadali makakuha ng apartment agad agad at hindi need pagipunan. Nagulat rin sya one time na wala daw pala kami kotse at dishwasher. Like yes girl. Hindi lahat may dishwasher at kotse. Tas sabi nya, then pano daw pala kami nakakapaghugas as if di sya marunong maghugas ng pinggan by hand wtf. And other side comments.

Aware sya na struggling ako financially and nagoffer na sya ilang beses na if need ko daw financial help magask lang daw me. Never ko tinanggap kasi sa totoo lang nahihiya rin me. Sa totoo lang okay naman kami sa umpisa pero recently kasi napapansin ko na behavior nya.

Recently di ko na sya cinocontact masyado kasi feel ko we don't have much in common anymore and anlaki na ng difference samin. Most of my friends rin naman pare parehas kami ng background. lower middle class at naiintindihan feeling magipit sa pera.

Hindi naman ako namimili ng kaibigan depende sa background nila pero feeling ko minsan may mga bagay talaga na hindi sila naiintindihan. Nakakaloka lang kasi di ko minamaliit pero parang ang liit ng problema nya minsan. Yung iba kong close na kaibigan talaga iniisip pano bayaran utang, o kaya breadwinner sa pamilya, o iniisip pano ipagtuloy pagaaral nila, and sya tamang bakasyon lang or shopping which is okay naman pero pag kasama yung ibang side comments nya nakakairita. Siguro bitter lang me pero ang hirap rin pala makipag kaibigan pag may class divide.

Ngayon balak ko na lumayo sakanya kasi napaka out of touch nya talaga minsan. And panigurado magrereklamo nanaman yon na ghinost ule sya ng kaibigan nya (may 2 friends na kasi na nang ghost sakanya dati) pero naooff na talaga ako sa ugali nya. Di naman sa judgemental pero parang turn off kasi pag out of touch na privileged.

Hi! Just a casual question. Sa mga nakapunta na sa ibang bansa based sa experiences nyo sino ang mas racist.

I have been frustrated with this friend for awhile. I don't fault her for being more privileged than I am. After all its not her fault she was born into her circumstances. We initially started on good terms but lately I feel like the two of us are just too different. For context, she is more well off than I am and I am struggling financially while also dealing with issues with my mental health, including depression and social anxiety.

Most of my other friends are more or less from the same social class as I am, only 1 or 2 are people I would consider truly well off. And we only met online through a common game and youtuber that we were fans of. Lately though I feel she has been making too many insensitive comments, making fun of me for being poor and saying that something that I could not afford to buy, was actually just cheap.

Back then I had let it slide and I had slowly minimized contact with her because she had made many other backhanded comments about poor people and it didn't sit well with me. It also doesn't help that I'm POC and she is white. She still messages me from time to time and I reply out of politeness but mostly I am just tired of explaining things to her. The last straw was when I said I wouldn't mind getting this game she always mentions to me. She tells me the price and it's quite expensive. I say that I probably won't be able to buy it anytime soon because its quite pricy and then she insists very pointedly that its not. That actually, she found the price of the game very cheap, even though with my circumstances, it's not really that cheap. I explained that the price of the game was almost twice my daily salary and that actually I wouldn't be able to buy it that easily. She then scoffs and insists it's still cheap for most players.

Has anyone else struggled with this?

So I just finished this book and while I get the general gist of the story are googling book discussions, || I'm still confused as to what happens to Max at the end of the book. Does he just disappear afterwards? Also Ava was never real and was just a figment of her imagination that she created from a swan was a sad but surprising twist.

I also choose to believe that Jonah is real. I know its left to interpretation because of the closing lines. But I feel it makes more sense that way. ||

Should I read the second book? The prequel, We Love You Bunny? I heard bad reviews about it and if it doesn't bring any answers to my questions I would rather not read it. I have read the first few chapters and it's been a boring slog for me so far. Not sure if I should finish it.v

This is my first Grishaverse series.

I finished the duology of the Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo and I was disappointed. I liked the first Six of Crows book but the sequel, Crooked Kingdom just didn't do it for me. Kinda disappointed since I heard a lot of praise for this book. Anyone else feel this way? Matthias' death felt unnecessary and rushed and just shoehorned in to make the novel seem more realistic. Which is a shame because I loved his and Nina's dynamic. I hated that it was glossed over so easily and wasn't even clearly explained. I mean there is a brief scene of him getting shot by that Fjerdan kid but that was it. No fanfare, nothing. I feel so hurt because Nina and Matthias are literally my fave characters. It also felt like a cop out that Genya literally just left right when he returned to Nina after getting shot. If he had managed to arrive a bit earlier Genya and Zoya could have saved him. It felt too contrived. I also have no idea how he managed to walk so far up to Nina and the others at the bridge after getting shot.

I was so mad when I got spoiled that Matthias was going to die that I stopped reading it halfway and only recently managed to finish this book. I just hate that Nina, Nina who has been through so much has to lose someone she loves of everyone in the entire cast. It just felt so unfair. It also doesn't help that Nina and Matthias is my fave ship along with Wylan and Jesper. Yeah sorry but Kaz and Inez just didn't do it for me lmao. They are both interesting well fleshed out characters in their own right but their dynamic didn't do it for me. Kaz needs to stop pretending he doesn't care about Inez because he isn't fooling anyone lmao.