u/No-Lunch-8209

You know I really did think that maybe you did feel the same way in some sense. It’s nothing big or grand. But a small little curiosity.?
Even if you didn’t, you made me appreciate qualities I didn’t know I needed in my life.

You never made me feel judged or less than you.
Which in turn gave me the confidence to even express that I did like you in whatever ways I did, even if I didn’t understand it. And you know what? You still made me feel Indifferent and treated me with complete kindness.
I knew I wasn’t your type and blah blah. But now?
I respect you a bit more.
And yeah rejection might be odd, but now I know.
I want to be near someone who asks me questions.
Or who thinks I would be able to fit in.
Who hears my hardships and doesn’t think “ wow you’re just a victim”.
Someone who actually seems to see my ambitions for more than surface level intentions.
So yeah, it hurt a bit, and I honestly still wish you maybe felt the same.
But that’s life. I’ll move on, and hey- maybe I’ll be lucky enough to find someone else who treats me with that kindness and understanding.

My daughter would be 6 years old.
How on earth can something just be taken away so quickly with no warning, and you’re just expected to move on.

I’m not grieving my baby anymore. I’m wondering if her hair would curl like mine, if her ginger hair stayed, what her favourite colour is,
Does she enjoy nature the same way I do?
Or does she like sports like her dad did?
I’ll just never know.
I have all these unanswered thoughts that will always be just that.

I wish she knew how excited everyone was for her too. I was young but everyone loved her so much.
I’ll never get to tell her about the hat her great grandma knitted her, or how her grandma couldn’t wait for her to come.

Some nights I wake up still just in panic like I do have a child. It’s fucking crushing.
Why am I awake at 4am, 6 years later because I heard a noise and my first instinct is my baby that isn’t here .

Some of yall might have seen the post about me being interested in my exes friend (which got a some hate, and some good advice:)

Kinda update, but still needing some actual advice on how to move forward.
I spoke to ex, and told him truthfully how I felt.
He genuinley was unbothered. Everyone who assumed it would cause issues, I can say you were not correct.
He actually expressed that we seemed to get along decently and said he had no issues with me going for it.

Now the question; I’ve never made a move on anyone. I’m horribly awkward. I was going to tell this person I enjoyed our conversations/am interested tonight, but unexpected friends showed up alongside our normal group and I absolutely chickened out.

Do I send a text? Wait until next time I see him?
If you were the guy, what would you even want to hear.? (I have a large part of me saying there will be rejection so I am trying to prepare myself for that lmao).
But do I just ask him for drinks? Say I’d be interested in knowing him better.? Literally any advice is very welcome.

And thank u everyone who gave the advice to speak openly to ex on my last post. Things couldn’t have gone better/helped a lot of my personal worries.

I (23f), was with my ex for 3 years. We broke up a few weeks ago, and still remained on good terms.
However he’s already going on hookups, bar nights, etc. and honestly, encouraging me to try and do the same.

I want to make it clear, I’m not looking for those things lol.
I would however, enjoy going on a date here and there, and meeting new people.
The issue is after the 3 years I’m not a teen anymore . I’m slightly older and everything seems to be online or some bar event.

How do you meet people? I have tried dating apps before when I was 19 but that was an awful experience.

I know. Shallow, vain, whatever.
I hate it.
The assumption that things are amazing when you are is baffling to me.

Love life? Extremely shallow.
Men won’t approach you, not the ones you’d like anyhow.
You end up with men interested in one night stands or etc.

And they seem confused when you want commitment, not hookups.
Some of them even put months of effort into winning you over.

Everyone is surface level kind. Once I got more “attractive” that was the biggest shift I noticed.
Before people cared about my interests or hobbies.
Now I get “ your shirt looks nice !” Or some surface level compliment that never proceeds into conversations .

It even changes the people who want to be approach you socially. Which you think would be positive. However I’ve found myself with small to no deep connections.

But sure, a free drink is nice I guess.

I hate that you make me question things.
Things that I’ve pushed down and didn’t want to come back up.
But that’s how life works isn’t it?

What is it with you?
After all these years why the hell is there still some unspoken yearning for eachother ?
Why can’t we just accept it ? Or move on ?

You were my first. And I’ve felt shame from the world around me for it.
Being near you makes me remember how much of myself I lost to please others. And maybe I’m tired of pleasing others.

I mean the title is pretty much as blunt as I could ask lol, but, if your friend’s ex showed interest in you or asked to know you more, how would you respond.?

* edit to add, the breakup was healthy/ mutual and we are still on good terms:)

I (23f), am interested in someone from a friend group ( shared with ex so it’s more distant now).

It started awhile ago but I kind of tried to brush it off as me just getting a small crush or blah blah , and it would be gone soon .

Everytime he’s over or we’re hanging out ( group setting always ) I cant stop myself from talking to him . I always ask some odd question or etc bc let’s be honest , I’m not one to flirt 🥲 .
But noticed how he shows genuine interest in the stuff I say . Or remembers it and asks about it weeks later . The conversations start awkward and quickly go into some deep thought etc . I find it refreshing.
I also find we make eye contact enough , it makes me blush but god knows what he’s thinking on his end .

He hasn’t had much relationship experience etc from what I’ve gathered ? so is he just shy? Not direct ? Maybe awkward bc we’re mutual friends through ex ?
How bad would it be if I waited a little longer and just made the first move to see what happens ?

Genuinley men of Reddit , what’s the biggest tell tale that you’re interested in someone and not just being nice .?

I’ll do my best to explain the situation without giving too many specifics ( to avoid anyone I know possibly reading this ).

I ( 23f), have lived on my own since 15 years old. Things weren’t always great with my parents but after years of therapy on both sides , my mom and I finally got to a half decent place and get along well.

The first time this happened was three years ago, when she booked a ‘family trip’ and asked if I could housesit for them. At the time I was working a lot and was okay with not being offered to come / watching the dog.
After they returned my mom said “ next year we’re going to go somewhere else ! Save up and you can come too!:) “ .
Well the next year comes , and once again , I’m asked to housesit . Never once told before things were booked / updated like she said . Just asked if I’d watch the place and dog.
Whatever , I agree . They return and the same “ next year you should come !! We’ll update you when we choose where we’re going!” .

And , you can all guess what happened a couple weeks ago . Another last minute , “ hey , I’m booking a trip, will you be able to watch the dog?” .
At first I was upset obviously but agreed.
Only today I found out that my sisters ( f17 ),boyfriend was also invited on the trip .

I think hearing that was my last straw of being completely left out , or forgotten about . I’m tired of always attempting to build good relationships when I’m a default sitter to them .

Would I be overreacting by saying I can no longer housesit for them ? I don’t want to ruin any plans for them but I’m sure someone else could do it , and honestly am tired of being left out of “ family trips “ or “ family get togethers” like this.

I apologize in advance for it being a longer post ; also caution while reading ; I will be sharing some of my experience for understanding on where I am in my journey now - i understand if you have to skip 🤍🤍

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I (23f) , have struggled with almost all forms of ED since 11 years old.
At 15 I was pregnant and went through my doctor for help in health / recovery, however it quickly reverted back to anorexia after the birth .

I’m 23 now . My highest was in the 200s . My lowest is now , and I think I’m getting worried for myself.
I noticed a lot of long term symptoms taking place ( teeth issues , bones hurting, dizzy spells , hair , it’s getting bad).

But the issue is ; I don’t have a doctor anymore for referrals or finding good resources. I don’t follow my habits , I honestly think apart of it is trauma / depression due to that fact .
But I know it’s a problem and if I don’t do something soon , the inevitable will happen.

So , how did you finally approach getting help .? I’ve avoided doctors but figured apart of recovery would be going to a clinic to see where my health does stand as of now , maybe for a reality check ?
Idk.
Any advice is welcome. And thank you to anyone who took to time to read / help 🤍

I apologize in advance for it being a longer post ; also caution while reading ; I will be sharing some of my experience for understanding on where I am in my journey now - i understand if you have to skip 🤍🤍

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I (23f) , have struggled with almost all forms of ED since 11 years old.
At 15 I was pregnant and went through my doctor for help in health / recovery, however it quickly reverted back to anorexia after the birth .

I’m 23 now . My highest was in the 200s . My lowest is now , and I think I’m getting worried for myself.
I noticed a lot of long term symptoms taking place ( teeth issues , bones hurting, dizzy spells , hair , it’s getting bad).

But the issue is ; I don’t have a doctor anymore for referrals or finding good resources. I don’t follow my habits , I honestly think apart of it is trauma / depression due to that fact .
But I know it’s a problem and if I don’t do something soon , the inevitable will happen.

So , how did you finally approach getting help .? I’ve avoided doctors but figured apart of recovery would be going to a clinic to see where my health does stand as of now , maybe for a reality check ?
Idk.
Any advice is welcome. And thank you to anyone who took to time to read / help 🤍

That’s how it all feels .
I can’t avoid you and I swear I wish I could just stop my head from overthinking everything I say near you .

I don’t want to be in love or find a soulmate . But fucking damnit I kind of want to know you a little more . Whatever that means .

When you notice something I say quietly or look my direction , I want to scream internally .
Your jokes genuinely make me laugh.
And your random interests get better the more you say.

And you know what ? Sometimes I do wish I had actually been friends with your sister. You made me realize that if you’re so caring in basic human ways , that friends like them would have been nice aswell . I’m just intimidated by people I feel wouldn’t accept me . But you’ve been nothing less than.

And it’s even dumber that I have all these fucking thoughts while you’re most likely unbothered.
Because I’m very aware you would want something more , or someone better . Or someone who doesn’t have all these thoughts .

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I just waited , and asked you out for drinks .
But that seems so dumb.
So it’s all dumb .

Blah.

I like our conversations, and how easily you make me feel heard .
Or how the banter feels so natural and that little smirk makes me freeze.
I like how interesting and intelligent you seem . I wish I could learn more of what you actually enjoy, or want.

Honestly I think it would be hard for you to not notice that you make me blush or make me slightly speechless sometimes.
I hold myself back a lot. Because apart of me feels even if I want to know you more , that you probably don’t care to know me more.

That’s okay. I need time for myself anyways . To just be and exist and learn how to enjoy my own company again .
I have to take my space because lord knows I’m already making a fool of myself just being near you.

But I hope maybe one day, I could enjoy your company again sometime too.

I (23f) recently left my partner due to long going issues.
However over the past few months I’ve been slightly interested in someone in our shared social group.

I don’t want to date , hook up , etc . I know I need time for myself . In fact I’d like to enjoy being single for a while, but I don’t necessarily want to lose contact with this friend in particular; and definitely wouldn’t mind getting to know him more outside of the social dynamic happening.

I don’t plan on doing anything now . Or at least for months to come. I plan on purchasing a home and doing my own thing for a little bit first . I just can’t help but shake the feeling that I really do enjoy this person’s company ( and it seems half mutual ? At least in a friendly way at the very least:/ ).

Anyways , how long do I wait to approach this ? Do I do anything at all ? Do I just avoid the shared friend group completely in hopes feelings might go away ?

( for context; the breakup wasn’t messy by any means , and we still hangout with these people, at least until I’m moved out / financially on my own again ).

I ( f23 ), just broke things off with my boyfriend of almost 3 years .
Before him I was single for about a year , but was so focused on survival mode I never really got to just , exist .

Anyways , how do I learn to enjoy being single ?
I don’t want to date around etc . I want a time where I can focus on myself . I’ve already decided I’d like to finish my school and at least have a small degree in something I enjoy , so I have made that progress .
But daily routine wise , I’m used to having a partner . So people of Reddit, how do you get used to being single.?

So why not get it off my chest here .
I haven’t been able to shake the dumb crush feeling you give me for almost a year now .
I’m not desperately in love with you or think I found a soulmate .

But I want conversations to keep going, the look you give me to not stop, and to keep hearing that laugh.
I have a stupid crush on you in the way that just makes me want to know you more. And I can’t.
So I wish you’d stop noticing the things I say or making me feel heard; and like maybe you might just have that same little spark happening when we talk.

And I wish I’d stop giving into the conversations . Honestly I wish for my sake at the very least I wouldn’t have met you at all. It would have been better than meeting someone so wonderful I can’t fully get to know.

I don’t need advice or etc on how to handle the situation. I’ve already come to the conclusions I need to after far too long and accepted this is just reality . Support would be very appreciated though:)

I 23f have been living with my partner and his mom for almost 3 years .
It was supposed to be a temporary arrangement, but we decided that it may be worth staying to save more money to be able to find a better place , etc .

Well three years later and I’ve taken every hit.
His mom is draining . I’m expected to do almost all the cleaning / maintenance because I work from home ( keep in mind I work more hours than both MIL or bf ).
I have a dog who she dislikes ( he’s not mean by any means ), and he has to spend his time in a crate whenever she’s home after work , days off etc . Which is completely unfair imo. And leaves me in a position where I’m outside with my dog in those timeframes to make it easier on him.
The shower broke within the first year of me being here , and she decided to fix windows instead of having a functional bathroom . I’ve become embarrassed to even have people over because if I haven’t spent hours deep cleaning , the house is genuinely disgusting .
my credits taken every hit . Bf lost his job for a year and I had to payroll nearly everything. And what his mom had to cover somehow turned into a $2000 bill that was never discussed.
( which means ofc now partners money is going towards paying his mother back , not myself ) .
I’ve had to resort to hiding funds and investments ( which I know isn’t the best ), just in order to feel I have a safe out .

I used to hope things would change or he’d realize how much his mom truly affects my everyday life . But it’s become clear he won’t , or at least won’t prioritize what I need over his mother .
I’m moving out in September and should have enough saved to buy my own vehicle , finally get enrolled in a course or something again , and just focus on myself.
Not a 23 year old manchild and his 50 year old mom.

I have nobody to share this with so I guess I’m posting here to avoid holding as much guilt .

I (f23) have been with my bf (m23) for 2 years . We have a small shared social group and I’ve somehow developed feelings for his friend .
Things have always been hard for me and my partner so I at first assumed it was one of those “ lasts a couple weeks and it’s over “ crushes . But no. I think I have full on feelings for someone I couldn’t ever attempt to be with even when I am single again.
It’s a guilty feeling to have even if I haven’t done anything.
Knowing how much I enjoy talking with him or learning more about him is enough for me to feel wrong after hangouts are over.

I am planning on leaving bf . It just sucks that I seemingly get along so well with someone that just will never be an option.

Posting here bc my situation was not considered preterm loss , nor stillborn / full childloss . When my daughter was born she was breathing but I never got to bring her home. Anyways, explaining that now to avoid misconceptions in the sub .

Everyone always said that things would get easier or less painful, but I find every year is another uncovered layer of grief I didn’t know existed. I still celebrate her birthday every year .
And when it was early it honestly was just the thought that I didn’t have my baby.
Now it’s turned into “ she would be in school” or “ she’d be able to do so and so and have favourite colours and animals “ .

I’m still in therapy and doing my best to deal with the cards I’ve been given , but was hoping some mothers here might have some advice on just getting through the days.
Most people don’t understand what it means to be a mother everyday without your baby . It’s incredibly painful .

Also sending love to all the moms in this sub who took the time to read this post ❤️