u/Quiet_Comparison_872

I've started reading Sanctuary and once I got to where Temple Drake gets abducted/trapped in the house I just don't feel like I mentally want to continue. I know it gets worse before the novels ends and I'm just struggling with my motivation to finish the novel.

Maybe it's because I'm not feeling that great in my personal life atm but I'm just not sure how worthwhile the novel is after page 70 or so.

Is it worth finishing Sanctuary or would I better off just finding something else to read? Perhaps Faulkner's short stories?

I'm 31 and I still live with my mom because I don't make enough money despite working full time for years now :/

At this point it feels quite embarrassing. I thought I'd be a lot further ahead in life. I've never even owned a used car and frankly, I doubt any woman would want to date a man who lives with his mom at this age even if it's because it's the best I can do financially atm. I feel too old to keep doing this, at least without an end in sight.

I know I can keep trying to eventually turn my life around but the older I get the more ashamed I am that I'm still here :(

Had a few chances to move out but I screwed up and now I'm just tired of it all.

I graduated college about 9 years ago now but this still really gets to me so I figured I'd post here.

I absolutely hated how anti-social most people at college were. To me, it felt as though if you didn't live on or near campus and found a clique/group of people to be friends with then very few people wanted to interact with you which sucked as I was a commuter student.

I tried joining clubs (which there weren't that many of), talking to people in class, and playing intramural sports but I had little success in making any friends. Most people I met were either uninterested or standoffish and seemed bothered I was speaking to them.

It got to the point where I thought I wasn't good at talking to other people and making friends. However, when I entered the work force I found I was actually pretty alright at it. It just seemed that college had a lot of anti-social people in it. It sucks because it screwed with my confidence for years afterwards.

tl;dr peers in college were cliquey and weird.

I didn't spend a lot of time in academia. Only a year on a course based program but FFS I'm so sick of people I talk to, especially online treating it like just another year of undergrad when I busted my a** off to get it. Maybe it wasn't a practical degree but I hate when people talk down to me because they think I just screwed around for an extra year.

I also hate it when people are secretly insecure about me telling them I'm more educated then them and I still get spoken down to by someone who can't read properly but refuses to admit it.

DAE feel this way?

University really set me up to fail. I got a useless BA and then was a fool and got an MA to top it off. I didn't get a very good education. My self confidence floundered and never recovered despite therapy. My mother emotionally, financially and verbally abused me all throughout and I never had the courage to get a better education.

Worst of all, I'm too burned out to go back to school and I don't even have the right courses to go back to school for a lot of things. I've failed at getting a career I actually wanted in life, in part because I'm not qualified to do much and lack any connections.

It seems that ever since university, I've never been in a position to really do what I wanted to with my life :(. I've spent my adult life never just being able to do what I wanted with it and I can't get anywhere in life now.

It's just so frustrating to know I could've done more if I hadn't gotten my useless degrees at a university that I absolutely hated all for nothing. I never got a decent job and now I'm 31. I know I could've done so much more with my life and now I never will.

I'm in my early 30s and I've realized that I seriously struggle with self confidence and self-esteem.

When I struggle with trying to learn or do something, I often mentally collapse in on myself. I feel just like I did back to my high school and university days where my mom would just yell at me for not doing well enough in school, my teachers being jerks to me and just being completely hung out to dry. The feelings are extremely intense.

Recently in therapy, my therapist tried telling me she thought I could be a physician and that really stung as it reminded me of getting yelled at by my mom for not achieving more in school :(. I haven't really had a lot of success in my life to be proud of.

How would I go about rebuilding my self-confidence and self esteem?

I'm in my early 30s and I genuinely don't see a good future for myself. My BA isn't useful. I'm stuck in a dead end corporate job. I couldn't get into a career I desired or that was even decent. I make poverty wages despite working full time and I live at my mom's house.

I'm sick of life and I don't see things getting better but I can't become content with my crummy life as I truly hate it.

Where do I go from here?

When I experience high levels of back pain, I find I can't perform a lot of tasks that require more mental input and flexible thinking.

How do you better deal with having a lack of mental bandwidth when struggling with chronic pain?

Personally, I find my ability to do more than the go to work and some exercise quite limited at times and trying to think of anything into the future beyond the short term is quite difficult to do.

Sometimes it feels like doing the minimum is hard enough.

I'm currently recovering from a third back injury over the last 8 years. It's manageable but I find I can't really do that much, especially if it requires significant mental input, more so if the level of pain I'm experiencing is higher on a given day.

How do you better manage the lack of mental bandwidth when experiencing significant back pain?

I find mentally, I'm a lot less mentally resilient and a lot less capable of flexible thinking when I'm experiencing worse pain. Is it possible to better manage this or am I just stuck getting by?

Often I feel like I'm drawing a blank when trying to figure out what to do with my life because I can't even think.

Recently, I had the privilege of travelling to France and while I certainly enjoyed my time over there, I realized I don't feel like my an adult.

I work full time but it's at a job that doesn't pay enough to afford rent much less to buy a home so I live with my mom. It's not the worst life but I'm seriously embarrassed that I haven't done more. I don't even own a car! Mentally, I feel like I've aged a lot but my life doesn't reflect that of a grown adult.

My coworkers are mostly younger than me. I want to change but I don't really see a path forward in life. I chose the wrong degree and I lack the skills to get ahead in life.

Don't have a girlfriend and don't see why a woman would date a man in his early 30s who doesn't make a lot of money at lives at his mom's house.

Is it realistic that I can start feeling like more of an adult or is that unrealistic?

I'm in my early 30s and I'm in a bit of an odd position financially.

I don't have any debt to speak of as I spent the last few years paying off my student debt and don't have any other debts (looking back this maybe not the best idea).

However, I also don't make a lot of money. Specifically, I make $22/hour working a clerical job in a field I don't want to stay. Partly because I don't enjoy the field and partly because I know I'll probably never make the money I want long term if I stay. I have a BA and that's it. Live at my mom's house as it's the best I can do (and the best price).

Besides investing, what else can I be doing to improve my financial situation?

I've deeply enjoyed reading Hemingway's works and the theme of travel and adventure in them. Similarly, I also like reading about Hemingway's life as he personally sought quite a lot of adventure in life.

How would a normal person find adventure reasonably similiar to what Hemingway did? Assuming they don't marry into money and have a day job of course.

I've been in therapy for the last 4 years now and I seriously struggle with the idea that my life could significantly better.

My therapist often says my life could be better if I put the effort in. For instance, I could find a girlfriend, I could get a better career, etc.

As someone who has heard that my life could get better a lot prior to therapy it comes off as quite hallow to me. Previously people have said to me to get me and my life never actually improved.

What should I do if I don't like being told my life could get better in session? Would it be best to just move on to another therapist or quit therapy? Should I bring it up to my therapist?

My therapist seems to overestimate my abilities and what I can realistically do in life.

Recently, she tried telling me that if I really wanted to, I could be a physician in 10 years or something else that requires quite a lot of schooling and ability. Frankly, I find this extremely implausible. I'm someone who got a BA and MA because I couldn't do better in school and I know I lack the academic ability to succeed in some university programs and career.

This was all in the context of my trying to decide on how to change my direction in life. My therapist seems to overestimate my ability to do better for myself in life. Although I've tried telling her I don't think I can do that much, she doesn't seem to take me seriously.

How do I best handle my therapist overestimating my abilities and what I can do in life?

In my last session, my therapist said if I wanted to become a physician in 10 years that it was possible if I was willing to put the work in. This was in the context of me going over changing careers and going back to school.

I know my T means well but it feels like she believes too much in my abilities. I've been working a low paying corporate clerical role for the last few years and it's not for me but I'm not sure what direction to pursue in life. Honestly, I just don't think I have the ability to get a respectable career at this point, much less go back to school for an academically intensive program.

How do I best address my therapist overestimating what I can realistically do in life? I've tried telling her but it feels like she doesn't really understand/believe me.

I (31) am seriously considering quitting my job this week because I can't handle it anymore :(.

Recently, I was giving a job to rewrite a document that is so poorly written it's awful and I know I'll never be able to do, at least in anywhere near the time I'm supposed. I'm not doing so well. Moreover, I can't handle my job anymore. I started here 4 years ago as a stepping stone to better things and I haven't done the things I wanted to in my career.

I still live at my mom's house and don't see how I'll be able to move out anytime soon. My company has thrown me under the bus a few times too.

I know I'll be setting myself back by at least a few years in life.

Would quitting my job be the end of my life? How bad would it be?

ATM I just can't handle it anymore and want to know how bad things will be when I leave.

Growing up, my family heavily emphasized how important it was to always be honest and tell the truth.

The older I get however, the more I find that most people and organizations lie and/or are intentionally misleading and dishonest at least in some ways. Personally, I regret being so honest earlier in life as I felt like I wasn't prepared for the harsh reality that you often effectively have to either lie or be misleading to get what you want.

I'm certainly not saying you should always lie and be dishonest but as someone from a working class, I feel like I was completely unprepared to for the games and lack of understanding you get in life for not giving the right answers.

Why do parents place such a heavy emphasis on being honest and telling the truth? I don't really understand why it's so valued when it's often punished.

I'm sorry but I don't know why there is such a push for people to seek a mental health diagnosis/treatment when it can seriously limit the individual receiving it from pursuing certain careers that would open far more doors to them if they had never received the diagnosis/treatment.

Military service, policing, border guard, firefighter, etc at all jobs that in most jurisdictions you either flat out can't do if you have a depression diagnosis or it's a lot harder to be hired for with it. For a lot of people, a good/decent career basically solves the major underlying factors causing their depression but instead it's very common to tell people to seek a mental health diagnosis and treatment. I'm not against treatment if you truly need it but if you're problem is being unemployed or underemployed then a good job is worth more than all the treatment in the world.

To me, it's immensely frustrating to be told to seek a diagnosis or treatment for depression and then it makes you ineligible for a lot of careers that would've solved the problem that you only had because you don't have any money and no real future.

edit: Also, sometimes chronic pain can be misdiagnosed as depression as the psychological symptoms are often more noticeable than the physical ones if the person is used to the pain.

Has anyone here gone back to school and/or changed careers specifically so they could emigrate to another country and become an ex-pat?

If so how did it go? Would you do it again?

edit: Also, if you'd like to share, what did you go back to school for?

Recently, I travelled to Edinburgh and frankly, it wasn't for me. While I enjoyed parts of it, I can't say I was a huge fan. A few places were cool but I don't think I visit again.

However, travelling in Scotland was pretty cool. I enjoyed visiting Stirling castle and the valley around it for instance.

I'm planning on visiting Scotland again next year. What cities and places would you recommend I visit?

RN I'm looking at visiting Glasgow, maybe climb a mountain too but I'd love to hear any other recommendations too!