u/Recent-Reporter-1670

I have my late husband's car at an auto shop for a safety, so I can prepare to sell his vehicle. I got a call from the auto shop asking where the wheel lock is, I apologize profusely as I do not know where he placed it. They said they would try their best to unlock the wheels without damaging the lug nuts, but warned that I may need to purchase new ones. After the phone conversation I just broke down and cried.

I find that I can't help myself but cry over the smallest things now. The sense of fear is so irrational, but yet I can't help myself but cry over it.

I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror. My eyes were so puffy, my hair a complete mess. I walked over to the kitchen to make myself coffee. I stared straight ahead of me in a complete daze until my eyes refocused, and I looked what was in front of me. It was a beautiful deer in the front yard. I followed it to the back of the house, where I saw its partner and two young ones. This made me smile since I had a terrible night last night.

It's been four months since my husband was taken from me. I'm having another hard night without him, I miss him so much. The pain in my chest hurts so much.

I miss his embrace, his kiss, his jokes, his smile... everything.

My nose is plugged, and my eyes feel sore from crying so much. Gasping for air like I can't breathe.

Living is so hard without him. I feel like this is Hell. I'm living in Hell right now.