u/Recent-Reporter-1670

This year would have marked our 6th year wedding anniversary, we have been together for 15 years.

Would getting an anniversary gift for myself with his money be selfish?

I currently have my engagement ring along with his wedding band worn as a necklace. I was thinking perhaps getting an upgraded engagement ring to wear on my finger.

I'm so conflicted, but I do know, I don't plan on seeing someone anytime in the near future (possibly years). I still feel very strongly committed to him, as lonely as I am. I miss the intimate connection, but at this moment, it feels so wrong to move on. I don't know how to express this feeling, it just feels wrong to touch another man.

I want to celebrate the anniversary we never had, but also, feel such huge guilt to spend something on myself without him. I'm so torn. Maybe this is a stupid idea.

The other day, I went to a public event, hoping to make new friends. Well, that didn't go as planned. My anxiety went up the roof, felt like I was a target, and just booked it out of there.

I feel so empty.

During the day, I keep myself busy with either yard work or cross stitching.

But the silent nights are just so LOUD. I miss my husband so much, his voice, his touch.

I feel so alone. This sucks.