u/SameTax7560

I've suffered of a restrictive eating disorder thoroughout all of my teens, but I recovered​ 3 years ago. due to recent events in my life, I​ found myself relapsing and I've talked about it with my boyfriend, who doesn't seem to really understa​nd it and always becomes kind of angry. now we're on vacation with his sister and his friends and we were​​ cooking dinner. I took some vegetarian burgers from the fridge to cook them and I looked at the label instictly​​, but I thought no one was looking at me because they were preparing something else on the opposite counter, but my boyfriend came from behind me and started yelling at me to stop "doing my gimmicks" and to just shut up and eat. I can't ​blame him but I felt really ashamed because he yelled really loudly and everyone heard (they didn't know of my eating disorder). I feel really bad and now I'm in the bathroom because I'm ashamed to show my face. sorry for the vent, I have no one else to talk about this.

I had a restrictive eating disorder for all of my teens, but I recovered three years ago when I first went to uni: since then, I've been able to eat at the uni canteen regularly, eat ice cream after dinner with my roommate and go out with my boyfriend without worry. I was so proud of myself, but recently I relapsed: this current social climate is triggering for me because I regularly see extremely thin celebrities being praised, and tiktok always recommends to me videos of pro 4n4 accounts without me searching anything. It had a toll​ on my mental health but everything worsened since I came home during summer​ break and started hearing friends talking about calories and how "bad" they are for eating, or calling themselves "pigs". In july, during a trip, one of them said to me that my salad was "wayyyy to big" and she could never finish it and that made me feel so bad I feel I just relapsed instictively. Now it's been some weeks since I'm back at doing what I did at the peak of my disorder, even crying in front of the fridge and I'm so frustrated ​​for all the progress I've lost. How does one even stay recovered in this climate? ​​​

I've been trying to post an important question on a subreddit for a few days but it always gets removed by reddit's filter and I don't Know why: my karma is high and there are no banned words​ or links. maybe it's because the post was kinda long? I don't know though, I've seen many other long posts​

hi everyone! I'm writing this here because I noticed my cleanser (FaceD double cleanser) is causing me closed comodones and fungal acne. does anyone have water based cleansers recommendations? I have combination skin(very dry on chin, cheeks and nose and oily on forehead), sensitive and acne prone skin. I also heard somewhere that I shouldn't use oil based cleansers when double cleansing because they can cause ​​​fungal acne, is that true? what should I use instead?

yeah, my skin is a hot mess​​​​

hi everyone! I'm writing this here because I noticed my cleanser (FaceD double cleanser) is causing me closed comodones and fungal acne. does anyone have water based cleansers recommendations for combination (very dry on chin, cheeks and nose and oily on forehead), sensitive and acne prone skin? I also heard somewhere that I shouldn't use oil based cleansers when double cleansing because they can cause ​​​fungal acne, is that true? what should I use instead?

yeah, my skin is hot a mess​​​​

hi everyone, I'm writing this because people installed a fear in me and I'm looking for some answers. in early april my dad had an heart attack but it was caught very early and the doctor said he completely recovered as if he didn't even have anything. now he is back at doing sports, as the doctor suggested him, and keeps up with his vegetarian lifestyle as to control colesterol, but my grandma and uncle always say to me that he has become very thin (he was slightly overweight when it happened, and now he is at approximatly at 81 kg for 1.82). this has me very worried because I lost my mom this december and I'm scared for him too despite what the doctor said because of what other people in my family are saying​. should I worry? is this dangerous? I'm sorry if this is a stupid question but I'm young and I don't want to experience again what I already experienced with my mom​

I bought new skincare products two weeks ago (I only use an oil cleanser, a water based cleanser and a face mist with peptides). At first everything was fine and my skin was very clear, but last week I went on a trip and only brought the water based cleanser due to airport rules, so I used only it for five days. now I'm back at home and I'm breaking out​​​ on my cheeks and chin, but I don't Know if it's because of the lack of proper skincare for those five days of if it's a delayed reaction to the products. thoughts? should I continue using the products?

TW: mentions of suicide

I feel like I'm going to k*ll myself. I have reached my breaking point, and I just want to be free again. Don't tell me to talk to someone, I have no one: my boyfriend hit me some days ago and yells at me whenever I talk about my feelings and fears, plus he now told me he will kill himself if I leave him and I don't want him to do that and all my friends are his friends too. I feel like I have to kill myself to get away from the situation, there's no escape besides this one. I had hope I would get better. I thought everything finally was beareble for me when he was sweet and kind to me besides my ocd and depression that make him so angry.

This night I had a dream I was with someone else (no one I know, just a faceless person) who was very patient with me and truly loved me. When I woke up I had an epiphany that I "deserve better", but after talking to him about it I see the truth: no one will love me anymore if I leave him, because I'm ugly, I'm too much to put up with and my disorder makes people disgusted and angry (he didn't tell me this, he told me other things I don't want to repeat in their entirety, like that I'm a monster, but that's just the logical conclusion I came to).

I can't leave him. I just can't. He already told me what he would do and I don't want him to do it. To get away, I simply have to kill myself like I always wanted to do.

I wrote this because I wanted to leave some trace of my feelings in the world before leaving it, since I have no one to potentially send a suicide letter to. I'm sorry to anyone who is reading this while maybe relating a little. don't end up like me, please. You're stronger than I will ever be, and maybe for you everything will work out. I trust you.

I'm going to kill myself. I have reached my breaking point, and I just want to be free again. Don't tell me to talk to someone, I have no one: my boyfriend hit me some days ago and yells at me whenever I talk about my feelings and fears, plus he now told me he will kill himself if I leave him and I don't want him to do that and all my friends are his friends too. I feel like I have to kill myself to get away from the situation, there's no escape besides this one. I had hope I would get better. I thought everything finally was beareble for me when he was sweet and kind to me besides my ocd that makes him so angry.

This night I had a dream I was with someone else (no one I know, just a faceless person) who was very patient with me and truly loved me. When I woke up I had an epiphany that I "deserve better", but after talking to him about it I see the truth: no one will love me anymore if I leave him, because I'm ugly, I'm too much to put up with and my disorder makes people disgusted and angry (he didn't tell me this, he told me other things I don't want to repeat but that's just the logical conclusion I came to).

I can't leave him. I just can't. He already told me what he would do and I don't want him to do it. To get away, I simply have to kill myself like I always wanted to do.

I wrote this because I wanted to leave some trace of my feelings in the world before leaving it, since I have no one to potentially send a suicide letter. I'm sorry to anyone who is reading this while maybe relating a little. try not to end up like me. maybe for you everything will work out.

me and my boyfriend were fighting on something we fought a million times already. I know it's my fault because I keep bringing it up, I'm exhausting him because of my ocd. It's difficult to be around me. While we were fighting I started crying and he screamed at me that I was just acting to manipulate him and he threw me on the floor and then slapped me in the neck. It's the first time he did that and some minutes later, when he calmed down and I was still crying, he tried to help me stand up but I refused his touch because I was still crying so much and I was scared. Now it's all good, he apologized profusely and feels very guilty. Also it was the first time, in these three years we've been together he has been nothing but sweet and gentle.

I don't know what to think and I don't know why I'm writing this here. It's just that I feel it's all my fault and I can't talk about this with anyone because all my friends are his friends too

Ciao! Scrivo perché io ed i miei amici abbiamo organizzato di stare qualche giorno ad Ortigia per quest'estate, e vorremmo andare anche al museo archeologico di Siracusa. Essendo di Catania tutti noi sappiamo che il trasporto pubblico non è dei migliori qui, ma preferiremmo non noleggiare un auto solo per fare questo piccolo spostamento. Per caso sapete quali linee arrivano al museo da Ortigia, ad oggi? temo maps non sia abbastanza aggiornato

Hi everyone. My university accomodation has an active infestation and I'm suffering so hard because of it: I have a hard time studying, I don't sleep much, I don't eat in my room and I simply can't relax anymore. It's been a couple days since I read a book, my favorite hobby, because I'm terrified to look away from my room in terror I would miss a roach. Likely our room isn't the main problem, but this still affects me because I found some in it. I'm spiraling so much and I feel crazy because no one in the accomodation noticed anything but me, and even if I alerted the uni multiple times no one has come to solve the issue yet. I feel like no one takes me seriously but I'm really suffering, I just want to find some peace again instead of thinking of all possible outcomes. Does anyone have tips on how to manage ocd in these times, and maybe relax a bit? I'm also in exam season so I need to be well rested

I wrote in this sub 5 days ago, but I wanted to update and ask for others' opinions on this matter. I live in a university accomodation in the base floor, my apt is just one room+bathroom. 6 days ago someone came to put bug powder for ants in the bathroom, and the next morning I found a dead coackroach in the area. I alerted the university but even after a week, no one came (and in the website it is said that professionals should come in 24 hours from the alert). I suspect the university still didn't contact anyone and didn't take this seriously. Last night I saw a nymph (very very little, maybe 3 mm?) and I completely panicked. I called the uni again and they told me the same thing. I have a severe phobia and this is affecting my life, I feel like I'm never safe and I can't relax. In some weeks I have exams, I can't stress this much over this. My boyfriend says I'm overreacting, we just argued on the phone because of this. I feel like a complete fool. I bought Advion and I'm waiting for it to be delivered but even then, I'm terrified to see more because of treatment.

I wrote in this sub 5 days ago, but I wanted to update and ask for others' opinions on this matter. I live in a university accomodation in the base floor, my apt is just one room+bathroom. 6 days ago someone came to put bug powder for ants in the bathroom, and the next morning I found a dead coackroach in the area. I alerted the university but even after a week, no one came (and in the website it is said that professionals should come in 24 hours from the alert). I suspect the university still didn't contact anyone and didn't take this seriously. Last night I saw a nymph (very very little, maybe 3 mm?) and I completely panicked. I called the uni again and they told me the same thing. I have a severe phobia and this is affecting my life, I feel like I'm never safe and I can't relax. In some weeks I have exams, I can't stress this much over this. My boyfriend says I'm overreacting, we just argued on the phone because of this. I feel like a complete fool. I bought Advion and I'm waiting for it to be delivered but even then, I'm terrified to see more because of treatment.

I live in a university accomodation. Some days ago I noticed some ants in the bathroom, but I called the uni and they sent an expert that put some bug powder in the bathroom. This happened two days ago,, and yesterday morning when I woke up I noticed a dead coackroach in the bathroom. What is happening? Is this a sign there's more? I'm deadly afraid of cockroaches, and I don't know if it was a german one. I don't have a picture but it was black, not very big but not very small either. It was maybe a little smaller than my thumb.

For context, the day prior there were some operations on the sewer system. Could be correlated? I already checked the cardboards, I washed everything and used bleach on the floor, but I didn't find more for now, not even poop or eggs. This morning when I woke up there was none, but I don't want to celebrate just yet.