u/Sea-Resident-7980

It was healing ok, then i had a massive exam coming up and i started stress-picking once again.

Its ok now though (also I think i'm using too many products on it which is making it not heal as fast? )

Hydrocortizone helps, i got prescribed tretinoin for acne reasons, then sometimes moisturizer, sunscreen, neosporin... so i somewhat stopped? and its gotten way better within a couple days

Its possible I also shifted from compulsively popping pimples/picking to putting stuff on them

I was talking to someone and they had a bunch of keychain objects all lined up. stainless steel with nothing on them.

suddenly I look back at them and they all have a somewhat large blue logo in the center.

no way they could’ve been swapped as this happened within the span of a few seconds.

was so weird. doubt they could’ve all been flipped unless I was somehow not conscious for those seconds they were being flipped around…

I got one of these objects and its really noticeable that there’s a logo… there’s some text on the flip side too.

it was weird.. I feel like somehow that’s going to be relevant later idek how

I was talking to someone and they had a bunch of keychain objects all lined up. stainless steel with nothing on them.

suddenly I look back at them and they all have a somewhat large blue logo in the center.

no way they could’ve been swapped as this happened within the span of a few seconds.

was so weird. doubt they could’ve all been flipped unless I was somehow not conscious for those seconds they were being flipped around…

At all. never will. I decluttered almost everything. That helped fix my routine, helped simplify parts of my day and made other things easier. Not i need to do that with general lifestyle stuff but nothing really is outright bad/maladaptive so I cant seem to take it seriously enough?

Yes I'm almost failing classes and i'm probably going to get suspended if i don't do a 180 ASAP or drop. Nope im barely getting one assignment done a day. And im trying.

I know i can work on adhd with working out as its helped before but nope. Not sticking to that(i've been doing rudimentary 5 min workouts feeling like it takes longer).

Quitting coffee helps, but since I'm not doing drugs/alcohol/ect or other major vices its "no big deal" if i stick to just a cup or two a day. (despite the fact that its not working for me at all).

And I didnt have coffee for a day or two before and it just felt awesome? And then I had more coffee cause consistency with my ruinous daily habits I suppose. But I felt awesome, woke up, was productive, actually got things done in a way that makes me wonder if i even have adhd.

Then back to slowly falling further behind on my coursework(and im only taking 12 credits so i should theoretically have less issues).

"oh its not that bad" so i just go ahead and let it get worse and worse and worse.

Yes I like how just sticking to tea feels, nope get coffee cause i like the taste also slightly bitter milk!

Welp. Like its the last hurdle between me fixing my life but since its an action vs an item its so much harder to change.

Dunno I feel like i might just be riding on a wave of "i saw someone say they quit spotify also i feel bad about having too many internet accounts".

Not like i'm paying for premium... I have alot of songs i like on it and sometimes its really easy to use vs apple music or youtube.

Then sometimes theres good sources for language receptive listening practice and i'll probably regret deleting it however i'd also just get a nice reset on spotify if i do delete everything and then re-download some time later.

It has some good playlists though. thats what everything condenses down too...playlists and podcasts

https://preview.redd.it/hjvzxc9qieoh1.png?width=722&format=png&auto=webp&s=19afb76779064a689cfd617a78c04e89592d5cb1

Went to the fridge, didn't say a word, didn't buy anything recently.. just got some food and then i go on the internet and get an ad for a simmilar product(pig m eat on some level)

Used to be perfectly fine driving with everything being kinda blurry. Now i'm driving and if i dont have my glasses it feels like my vision is bad/needs them despite the fact that i've been driving fine for ages without them.

or I overworked by eye muscles? Warm compresses help however... the other day I wasn't using my brain and tried to force myself to blink once a second for a whole minute. I felt some sort of internal exaustion/pain almost? but forced myself to keep going. Used a stop watch to make sure i was on track but sometimes went a bit faster.

Warm compress seems to help but its day two and still going ulesss i close my eyes...

https://preview.redd.it/vxbc66eae4oh1.png?width=2308&format=png&auto=webp&s=63be070543116e9485a208985baf025162974536

lol

saw people claiming that anyone who couldn’t fully try a dumb phone just couldn’t admit they had a phone addiction(and people were saying that their jobs or universities or other facets of life required a smartphone)

anyone somewhat try the reverse-ish of that? I deleted a lot off of my phone, using widgets for needed things like my college schedule, (my todo list is mostly on paper tho)

and I get really distracted on my computer but I realized that for most things I can just use my phone? except for some applications such as fusion 360 or blender which I don’t use much.

some needed applications are extremely clunky on phone and on the phones browser

just started trying

usually the advice is to set your phone away not computer though.
I locked and hid apps like discord

(Diagnosed with adhd but can somewhat relate here)

I got glasses! a few days or a week later it started feeling as if I had, in fact? been wearing them for a while even though I only got them a week prior and I could remember the process of getting them. no actual time frame for when. Most of my memories require me remembering context inside the memory to place them to a time.

I remember family talking about older memories or doing things in certain stores and then I didn’t ever remember (nor do I recall now) going to this store. we were in it during the conversation.

mot for every event. feels random and unrelated to any emotional sentiment. yet sometimes I have been ae to study easily by almost virtually remembering formulas

i don’t remember anything traumatic happening? sometimes I’ll get random memories of things and they’re generally positive

yet at the same time, conveniently I’ll get some weird ideas and it feels like my memory almost wipes it out a few days or a week later? So they don’t go anywhere.
but also I wanted to google something and then I forgot like 5 min later.

yet this doesn’t even always apply but I used to be slightly depressed or whatever and I used to get paranoia or anxiety or whatever that (forgot) mostly someone trying to cause me to have bad grades or watching me on some way and I’d just kinda eventually florget that idea? Except not always and then (going to a therapist helped) I went down some weird route. (Also my bad grades were cause I studied way way less than the reccomended study time for my courses not cause bad memory) though I am worried I’d forget concepts ot hle simmensely if I work out problems which I was not doing and my courses are mostly math courses

never mentioned having memory issues but I don’t forget important stuff that’s more numerical. Suspected add in the past but not diagnosed with it and it probably was just social anxiety and a lack of eye contact due to no glasses making it hard to see the epicenters of others eyes.

Anyone else? I've slightly started veering back into collecting... which isn't great? Like I found some old pic of a bunch of strings and laces I had piled together(not sure why I had individual laces but whatever).

Was going to use some to learn to tie knotts, still want to but i never got around to it.. so i was back to thinking about how i should've kept at least some of it.

Somewhat frayed laces i carried around with me. Didn't/couldn't use them other than to look atl.

And I have a couple thin books that I love the texture of so they're standing on my shelf but like.. yk i really feel bad about tossing it out.

I have space so thats fine...

Also idk what to do with the myriad of notebooks I have that I barely take notes with(these aren't college notebooks just small journals and i barely filled in the journal i'm using(to make matters worse I feel like im taking up too much space so i'll write extra small cause i dont want it to fill in too fast) and then I never use it...

sigh. i mean most of them are fairly useable. One of them I was able to easily rip out all the used pages so i'm somewhat using them for my math problems(except i have barely been studying this first week and its been harming my grades) so yay...

maybe by decluttering i'm simply avoiding the actual problems? Cause this clutter I have isn't at the point that its making things harder. Its at a decent point where its not too little to the point I have to use other peoples things(I will need to get colored markers though).

But its also not at the point where I have constant clutter due to lack of room.+ its manageable.

I've de-cluttered my phone, moved alot of things to microsoft word and excell and honestly its streamlined my phone alot.

So thats good.... (then again, not focusing on studying and late work has begun piling up)...

my self care improved so thats a plus? Got easier... less of a hastle to fix myself up(idk why it even was to begin with).

are they looking for someone? there were two going around and around the parking lot I parked in and then three on the way to JC but they were all talking to this one guy

I get there’s lots of people but I was here yesterday too and it wasn’t this extreme

https://police.gmu.edu/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/9_September-2026-Daily-Crime-and-Fire-Log.pdf

nothing yet

there was a car standing just with its lights on too ???

Idk how and this is genuinely getting in the way of my grades and even personal hobbies. I keep slipping into some trail of "i only just comment online or wherever and it eventually snowballs" like an internet addiction almost? I did all the correct things, remove what subreddits i'm in, leave discord servers, ect...

and I mean its helped in the sense that its pushed a large chunk of my socialization towards those i know irl? But i still comment/post an unreasonably large chunk of time now on reddit. maybe on some small dead server just kinda honestly spamming. I shouldn't. I can't seem to, nor have i ever, seemed to quit this long term.

It just ends up popping back up even if a bit successful(weirdly i got it to work for a bit BEFORE i was back on campus).

like really? When i had even less socialization opportunities than I do now. Now its just cutting into my time for assignments and everything(and increased irl things as i cant eem to set my priorities right).

Dont know what my brain feels is so important online. Just need to get the reigns of my life back together I suppose. I keep quitting reddit then making a new acc then quitting idek why? honesty no acc helped + forcing myself to stay logged out too (especially for discord). I don't have tiktok or instagram anymore and i've been limiting what site accounts I have(non social stuff like i'll probably never be enrolled at community college again so i dont need that site for that specific resource on my community college email).

ect ect or some random game that doesnt need a login??? why? (i kept one tho). Or... ect ect et. all. need to remove libby I dont ever use it + i got the campus library which I do use.

I don't mean cutting off people or anyone I know, none of that at all, I just mean cutting out places i'm on online that aren't beneficial or productive to be in(and are rather harmful)

edit: i found an extention that doesnt block sites but merely mirrors them. will do this

???

no anything near them but im confused why specifically near my veins on my hands. i don't do any substances or anything wth? everything of mine is oily as heck so maybe thats why but idk

In images.

https://universitypolicy.gmu.edu/policies/institutional-training-requirements/

https://preview.redd.it/wvskdq4kbxmh1.png?width=1420&format=png&auto=webp&s=32617fc6d35b6a1bb9f5de445f4491940b556b63

and consequences:

https://preview.redd.it/hyma5a5mbxmh1.png?width=1360&format=png&auto=webp&s=be1a06ca6e4c560cd88966618fe1dc8b4b832b1e

https://universitypolicy.gmu.edu/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/2222-procedures-051226.pdf

Here ^^^

"Only trainings listed below are subject to compliance tracking and escalation by

University Life or Human Resources. Responsible Units, under the direction of Human

Resources (employee trainings) and University Life (student trainings), will maintain and

update this list at least annually."

https://preview.redd.it/70vwfs6ubxmh1.png?width=1514&format=png&auto=webp&s=c751f21d2b21a927be8a14391578fa104547d8d1

Only posting a bit but:

https://preview.redd.it/2tkww67ucxmh1.png?width=628&format=png&auto=webp&s=54f82817a4a1910bb690a89c32e64e450189638d

https://preview.redd.it/vjnr3ulzbxmh1.png?width=824&format=png&auto=webp&s=d915d1c59cbcb7dbdd8180578abba9298910fff9

The employees have to do this just as much as the students do. On top of that, you could be unable to register for classes(or more)...

https://preview.redd.it/smzgccw8cxmh1.png?width=1268&format=png&auto=webp&s=0633af4f06c02684b0c4e214a86c070a477667d9

Also I think this training is fairly common (also benign i mean... emergency preparedness doesn't sound like its really bad?)

title

I’m so close to it

noticed some weird stuff. Also I remember I used to see, right as I drifted to sleep, police lights that where extremely sharp sharper than I had ever seen with my own eyes.
guess what I see with glasses... it was bizarre quite frankly(and I always seemed to be right behind the police car I’m not sure why)… if it’s a premonition that would be concerning

and I might get in a car crash then cause there were a lot of lights I was on the side of the road in this imagery

feels like someone altered my thoughts to just be angry and pissed off

I know, I absolutely know I shouldn’t do this and that it’s not good and also consequences depending on what happened.

my dumbarse is idk what it’s doing.… nothing great. just randomly going between meh and chill and pissed the f off for no good reason.

Im not sure how to chill back down

and I need to..workingnon breathing exercises though but I’m just pissed off at everything like my keyboard got angry? pissed off at that. not much else right now honestly. some guy kept being weird in a car behind me and I just blasted my music really loud. Shouldntve but it’s better than road rage or whatever

(low astigmatism but the moon looked double abs the whiteboard was always blurred)

feels like my astigmatism doesn’t affect much just makes the corless shapes around me a bit more blurry. got home and it was fairly dark, no lights on, put everything away in the dark and whatever… wasn’t too bad cause I saw what I purchased and there was enough light to read/remember what was what.

not pitch black. feels calming now, I’m sitting in a really dark room in my phone. calm and rather quiet :)

glasses don’t make a big difference

obviousky this would be extremely imoractical for anything requiring more detailed or color vision