35M. SoCal. Just posted about some struggles I’ve had on here and other apps recently. It got me thinking about how much of my failures are just due to weak openers or sent likes with messages.
35M. SoCal. Recently posted about a recent rejection following a first meetup with a 36F. But this isn’t about that. And this post applies to dating apps in general, not just Hinge. Whenever I have tried ‘punching above my weight’ so to speak, when sending likes or messages to women who I feel I have little to no chance with (mainly due to me thanking they are a lot more attractive and wouldn’t be interested), and actually matched, I will get a rush of excitement and boost in confidence. And then a few hours will pass and they won’t respond. And then more time. And then more. Until they either unmatch or I will, usually after a few days. And then I’ll once again begin to doubt myself. For anyone wondering, I’ve always been told I’m decently attractive and my friends and family love to compliment how smart and witty I am. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have self-esteem issues.
Fast forward to today. I had recently gotten back on Bumble just to increase my chances, seeing how slow Hinge has been for me this summer. I had sent a ‘compliment’ to a 36F. She had been one of the best looking women I’d seen in my feed recently and checked a lot of boxes as far as values/interests went as well. I thought it was a long shot until this morning. I got a notification of a new match. I open the app to see we had matched. I got the usual wave of excitement I mentioned earlier and waited for her to start the conversation. Hours pass and nothing. A little bit ago, I go back on the app and see she had unmatched. ‘Here we go again’, I thought.
35M. SoCal. Met up for a late brunch date with a 36F I had matched with last Wednesday. We had regular communication late last week and last weekend, and by this past Sunday, I had asked her out to meetup today. She definitely came off as plain and reserved on the app, but I can also be like this occasionally, so I didn’t mind too much. Fast forward to today. She was slightly late but I wasn’t too bothered. But right off the bat, I noticed a bit of surprised look in her face when she saw me in person. Like something in her reaction told me that I wasn’t what she expected me to look like (mind you, my photos are all fairly recent). Based on this, I could tell we were off to a bad start already. Now she had told me she was more introverted and took awhile to warm up but she definitely seemed a bit more reserved than I thought. She hardly made eye contact when I would ask questions and she would respond. And when she would, it’d be very short answers. Overall, she seemed a bit uneasy during the entire meetup. After about 45-50 minutes she thanked me for the meeting and got up and just left. I noticed she had not immediately unmatched so I later reached out to thank her for the meetup and if she would like to meetup again. She responded by thanking me but saying she thought we should no longer talk. I unmatched a few minutes after.
35M. SoCal. Have a brunch date lined up with a 36F this coming Friday. So far we’ve been talking pretty regularly since we matched last Wednesday. Thing is, I’m horrible when it comes to trying to generate chemistry during meetups. I feel like a lot of times, these meetups just turn into friendly chats for an hour, which just makes me come off as a ‘friend’ and causes them to lose interest. I’ve always been hesitant to initiate touch early on and flirting has never been my strong suit. I’m open to any suggestions.
Reposting with Medieval Kingdoms 1212 AD mod for Atilla
35M. SoCal. I’ve lost count the number of times I’ve proposed meeting for coffee for first meetup over the years. But recently, I’ve come across some posts stating that coffee meetups give off ‘friendly/platonic’ vibes and that I should do something more ‘romantic’. Others comment that they come off as low-effort and reflect poorly on me if I propose that for a meetup. I’ll admit that I haven’t had much luck recently but even when I was going on more dates, I would get rejected so much. I’m just wondering if these coffee dates may have contributed to it
I’ve played Darthmod since 14’ and it’s been one of my go-to mods for the game for years. Recently, I learned of the Eras mod that features different ‘chapters’ of the Napoleonic era, as well as different unit skins, effects, etc. How does this hold up to Darthmod? It seems like Eras has a lot more possibilities with all the different chapters (plus the Victorian/Enlightenment content) but I’ve read that some people say it feels ‘incomplete’ and needs some more polishing.
I know it came out several years before Empire but it roughly covers the same era as both it and NTW. I’ve known about this game for years but just wanted to know if it was worth my time or if I should save my money
I’ve had the subscription for Spanish for a few months now and recently finished the newcomer courses. For the record, I grew up speaking more Latin American based Spanish but occasionally get hung up on certain words and will sometimes blank out when trying to express more complex ideas, which hurts my confidence when speaking. The newcomer courses and Beginner course have had some helpful grammar rules that I wasn’t aware of before but I’m still finding it a bit too ‘easy’ if that makes sense. What are some things I could be doing to help me on my way to improving? (FYI I have the subscription for Euro Spanish, only because it has much more content than the Mexican Spanish course, however, my everyday Spanish is definitely more closer to this)
I saw a beta version came out earlier this year but from what I read, there were a lot of small bugs. Has it improved enough for official release?
35M. I had matched with a 31F this last Friday evening after sending a like with a question earlier. I waited till Saturday morning to respond to her reply, only for her to never respond. I decided this likely wasn’t going anywhere and just unmatched a little while ago. But it got me thinking, what are some reasons you’ve reconsidered a match even before the conversation gets off the ground?