u/TheColaDemonCat

I don't really know what is going on, but lately, there has been a rapid increase of men openly telling me (or my partner) how much they love my red hair (or redheads in general).

I mean most of the time, especially if it is just one small compliment or comment, I am perfectly fine with it and enjoy the positive attention.

Yet, if it is anything more, I can't help but think what they are likely thinking in their head, which grosses me out. Especially when they make a creepy, lustful face to go along with it. Ugh.

Today was especially bad. I was heading into a store with my partner, and this random, drunk guy started yelling, following us telling us how much he loves redheads. How great they are.... and then he started talking about sex with redheads... which is where my partner started to put distance between him and I. Eventually, he got bored and angry because he started leaving and then said how he hates redheads ??

I was already overwhelmed before that, and it sent me over the edge, and I broke down. My partner apologized, saying he wasn't sure what to do and was just shocked at it happening. I simply explained to him that most people who make it very apparent that they LOVE redheads are usually the ones who are also sexualizing/objectifying them.

I just felt like talking about this somewhere, and I'm sure many of you guys have similar stories...

Hey,

Just wanted to reach out if anyone would be interested in being friends ? I don't live close to Nashville/Vanderbilt at the moment, but I plan on going to Vanderbilt for my graduate studies for the QCB program.

I am just looking for more new friends who are semi-local and are smartypants.

I've always wanted to make my own clothes, specifically unique pieces. Things like a Victorian era dress, or a dress I designed in my head where no sewing pattern exists.

Honestly, I hate sewing patterns. I hate printing them, taping them together, cutting them out, aligning them to fabric, and cutting again.

How much would an adjustable mannequin actually help here? Could I use one to skip patterns entirely and just go rogue? How useful is it for getting clothes to fit correctly, and is it worth the price?

Would love to hear from anyone who has used one.

My boyfriend and I have been together about 1.5 years and have lived together for a year. His family is planning a trip to Disneyworld for his niece. His mom is paying for it, including for his sister's boyfriend, who has been with her for less time than I have been with my boyfriend. I am not invited.

This isn't the first time I have been "left out" when it comes to his family events, yet his sister's bf is present. I have made it abundantly clear how fucked up it is to invite one partner but not the other. Yet that seems to be high point of contention between us.

When we first started dating he bragged about how many other people he has taken to Disneyworld, and how he will take me (Idk how he thought this was a brag, it just makes me feel less special tbh). Yet, I still was looking forward to going with him.

The reason he gave me as to why I was not invited was because "I don't gel with his family," but I have tried with his family. I have always shown interest in attending family events, I have always encouraged going, I reply when they talk to me, I try to talk with them. Like, I reached out to his sister, I sent thoughtful gifts to her and to his niece, got nothing back, no acknowledgment, no thanks. His sister leaves my texts on read. I've never argued or had problems with them. The only 'problem' is that I am shy/introverted and they seem to really look down on that, including my bf. I have tried explaining to them all that it has nothing to do with them or how I feel about them, it just takes time for me to open up and the more I'm involved the more I open up. These things like excluding me literally just damage any attempts to build a relationship.

I even offered to pay my own way to Disneyworld so that I could be a part of the family experience with them, but still I wasn't invited. And it hurts to know that my boyfriend is helping plan this trip and how okay he is with leaving me out. How he defends his family's actions despite me having done nothing wrong other than wanting to be treated as an equal member of the family like his sister's bf.

My boyfriend told me last year he has 3 trips planned as my birthday/anniversary gift. Idk when or where they are, but I figured out one of them yesterday. His niece let it slip that he is planning on taking me to Disneyworld as a surprise (she wasn't supposed to say this, she's 4).

Hearing this just stresses me out because I know what he's going to think. He thinks taking me to Disneyworld one week alone together is going to erase my feelings about him going with his family next month. A separate trip doesn't fix being left out of a family one. Which just shows to me how he still doesn't seem to fucking understand what it is that is problematic.

It is simple: IT'S ABOUT HIS SISTER'S BF BEING TREATED BETTER THAN ME EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE BEEN DATING LONGER THAN THEM. WHO THE FUCK INVITES AND PAYS FOR ONE PARTNER BUT NOT THE OTHER? THAT IS FUCKED UP.

I would not have a problem with this if my bf wasn't going with them. I would not have a problem if I was invited with them (and I was asked to pay my portion of the trip). I would not have a problem if no partners were going at all. There are multiple scenarios I would be fine with because then I'm not treated as "less than".

I am also dreading what happens when he reveals the surprise. He is going to think it is going to fix everything and I am worried he is going to get angry when I am still unhappy with it. I don't want to come across as ungrateful or impossible to please, but I also can't pretend a separate trip undoes what is actually happening.

I keep asking myself if I am being unreasonable for not just accepting the separate trip. Of course I am grateful about going to Disney with him, and I'm trying to be excited, but this whole thing with his family has just left me feeling like shit. All I want is to be an equal member of the family like his sister's bf. I am tired of being left out and I am tired of my bf thinking this is okay.

I have been avoiding talking to him about this because it's gonna send me into a panic attack, but it needs to happen.

The big question is how to handle the moment he reveals the surprise to me? He is going to think it fixes everything. It doesn't. How do I handle this situation without it exploding. (He has a tendency to get angry, cold, and dismissive when we are angry. I have a feeling this will be a very touchy subject for the both of us.)

TL;DR: My bf's family is taking everyone but me to Disneyworld, including his sister's bf, and my bf is helping plan it. His "fix" is to take me on a separate trip. A separate trip doesn't fix being left out of a family one. How do I handle this situation without it exploding.

Hey, I'm 25 and have been on hormonal birth control since I was 17. My first was the pill for a few years, then an IUD. Over time, I've noticed side effects on both: lower libido, my hair is destroyed, mood changes, less natural lubrication, and a big increase in motion sickness (car and sea). I'm getting more and more worried about what 8+ years of messing with my hormones is doing to me long-term.

Like my mom developed a heart condition that her doctors linked to birth control. I also had an abnormal pap and had to get that sorted out. Hormones are no joke and I'd really like to step away from chemically altering them, but I'm not willing to risk pregnancy.

From what I've read, the copper IUD seems to have the highest effectiveness among non-hormonal methods. My gyno keeps steering me away from it because I haven't had a kid, but I recently learned that's outdated guidance. I'd love to hear from people with the copper IUD and how was insertion, your periods, cramping, any side effects, and how long you've had it?

I'm also open to hearing about any other non-hormonal options that have actually worked for people. Condoms are off the table for both me and my partner for several reasons.

What have you tried, what did you like, what did you hate? Anything you wish you'd known before switching?

Thank you.

My boyfriend (M31) and I (F25) have been dating for about 1.5 years. We have been living together for almost a year. Currently, we have been in a very rocky place.

About 2 weeks ago, my bf ordered a privacy screen for his phone because I "look at his phone too much" while he's texting when we are next to each other in bed and such. When I tried to turn on his privacy mode on when his phone started dinging during us sleeping, I discovered he also changed the passcode.

This seems really fucking excessive given the fact I have never looked at his phone when he wasn't aware (other than to turn off the damn sound/lights flashing every time he gets a notification).

The way he's been acting and treating me has not been good. He threatens to break up with me A LOT when we argue. He actually did break up with me last week, and then we "made up" a day later. This has been the 3rd time this has happened. He often compares me to other people like friends and exes. Tells me how they are better than me or how he can find someone better than me, how he wants to see other people, etc.

I'm essentially invisible to him. He is obsessed with his phone. We argue a lot because he ignores it when i try to tell him what I need/want and express myself when he's said or done something hurtful. We don't have sex much anymore. He's checking out of this relationship, and it is obvious.

There are some other things I could add that would justify why I think this, but this post would turn into a book. The thing I will say.. I do not understand how anyone could treat a human being, let alone someone they love, like the way he treats me.

Our lease is ending in July ? I sometimes feel like he's going to end things when our lease is up to make it easier on himself.

I don't know what to think, let alone do anymore.

I still have love for him, and I still have a glimmer of hope... I'm quite a lone too and don't have any friends to talk to about this.

Please. I'm already heartbroken as it is.