u/Vegetable-Carpet1593

36f here and throughout life I've noticed many of my female friends have had exes reappear and I used to feel almost offended that mine never did. I didn't date many men, but only one tried to reach out a year after dumping me (we only dated for a few months, but he was sketchy in how he went about it) and I did not entertain it.

I realize that I am not warm and welcoming to exes. I won't respond just to "be nice". I don't care how they're doing, and why are they reaching out now? When things ended I might be upset initially, but I moved on. I don't go backwards. I've been thinking as an INTJ we may be less likely to entertain people from our past, whether it be for attention or to "be polite". We are generally pretty direct and confident in our choices, especially as we mature, so I'm curious to see if you have also not really experienced exes coming back around?

Imagine being a grown woman and asking your bf/husband if you're allowed to get something from the grocery store. At least he said yes I guess? 🥴

There are endless reasons I'm grateful to be single, because I could never.

I have been in the gym consistently for a few years now, and in that time have become almost repulsed by observing men and their behaviors. First of all, probably 90% of them don't wipe down their machines. They will leave sweaty ball imprints for the next person.

Most of them are straight up ego lifting with terrible form and ROM. Every day I see at least a few just sloppily throwing around the heaviest weights they can lift thinking they're so cool. Yesterday I watched a man who was probably around 65 years old just stare at himself flexing his pecs in the mirror. Later I was walking behind him and he was just slowly strutting around checking himself out in every mirror he passed.

There's a guy I see regularly who just walks around likes he's hot stuff and doesn't actually do anything, just lingers on equipment and pretends to stretch. I've seen a handful of men wear sunglasses in the gym and while it could possibly be a medical thing, I've never once seen a woman wearing them. I also don't see women ego lifting. Maybe they're doing things incorrectly but they're at least trying. Women are also not obnoxiously screaming and loudly grunting. These men are so desperate for attention.

I can tell by the way a guy carries himself that he's full of himself. I don't even need to interact with them. Of course there are seemingly normal men who aren't clearly on an ego trip, but the majority of them are ridiculous. While there are plenty of objectively good-looking and fit men at the gym, I want nothing to do with them. Even the way they park their stupid lifted trucks wreaks of entitlement.

Of course you will find a lot of vanity in a setting like the gym, but these men are next level and I'm over it. 🫠

I am considering getting certified, probably with Hairskeen, to offer hair systems. Supposedly there is a high demand and not many people providing the service. I understand it's niche and the potential clientele is limited, but I do live in a wealthy area full of middle-aged and older people with money to spend. I'd love to eventually build a business focused more on this over traditional haircuts, but for the time being would still do both.

Does anyone do hair systems and is it worth it? Do you have several clients getting them?

I strongly suspect I have IBS-C, but I can't get in for an appointment for a few months. In the meantime, I'm trying to manage the constipation and stick to mostly low FODMAP foods to avoid the bloating and gas. It's so frustrating because I'll be going regularly for a while and then I just stop and then struggle to figure out what changed. I do everything you're "supposed" to do and live a healthy, active lifestyle.

I suspect sucralose is an issue and am going to temporarily eliminate it. I have been mixing a clear protein powder into my green smoothies that contains sucralose and noticed it has aligned with my constipation. I generally go pretty hard on fiber and things will be fine for a while, then I get constipated and feel I'm eating too much fiber. I'll back off and feel better for a while, but then it's like I'm struggling with not getting enough fiber. This is hell.

I strongly suspect I have IBS-C, but I can't get in for an appointment for a few months. In the meantime, I'm trying to manage the constipation and stick to mostly low FODMAP foods to avoid the bloating and gas. It's so frustrating because I'll be going regularly for a while and then I just stop and then struggle to figure out what changed. I do everything you're "supposed" to do and live a healthy, active lifestyle.

I suspect sucralose is an issue and am going to temporarily eliminate it. I have been mixing a clear protein powder into my green smoothies that contains sucralose and noticed it has aligned with my constipation. I generally go pretty hard on fiber and things will be fine for a while, then I get constipated and feel I'm eating too much fiber. I'll back off and feel better for a while, but then it's like I'm struggling with not getting enough fiber. This is hell.

I've been celibate for nearly 3 years and don't want a relationship with a man, but after taking this time to reflect and become significantly more confident in myself, I'm considering sex again. I just feel like I will be disappointed as the reality of sex with basically a stranger will likely not compare to the fantasy of it. It has usually been underwhelming and centered around the man's pleasure in the past, and I'm not going to settle for that.

I'm 36 now and up until the past few years, I was so insecure about myself and self-conscious about my body. I was overweight as a kid and I think that really messed with me, and now I look back at photos from ten years ago where I thought I was still so overweight, and I really wasn't. I think my body issues led me to be bitter towards other women I deemed as more attractive, and it also held me back from fully enjoying sex. I could never just be in the moment and not feeling concerned about how my body looked. It's crazy how much media, society, and the patriarchy as a whole impact how we perceive ourselves.

I honestly feel robbed of my youth, and I know I'm not alone. I've come a long way and feel quite confident in myself these days, but it's unfortunate I didn't experience my twenties with this mindset. The difference is night and day. Perhaps I would have had higher standards and made better choices if I had a more positive self image, rather than settling for what I believed I could get.

Blonde blindness is real.

I've been at a commission shop for 3.5 years now and have built up a decent clientele (12-20 cuts a day working 4 days a week) and have ten years of experience. While I love the owner and get along with my coworkers, I am getting increasingly annoyed working with them and have been considering doing my own thing.

I am very reliable and disciplined and think I'd thrive on my own. I'd save money renting over paying commission, and I believe most of my clients would follow me as long as I stayed in the same area. It's risky as I'm a single person and can't afford to take a cut in income, but I imagine it would pay off. However, the owner of the shop does a lot for us and takes care of all of our advertising. I'd have to get more savvy with all of that. We are kind of an "old man" shop and get a fair amount of walk-ins, and I know I wouldn't get that foot traffic in a suite.

How did the switch work out for you if you've done it?

I quit drinking two years ago and have on and off struggled with constipation since. I have definitely increased my sugar intake and never turn down sweets. Apart from that, I eat high protein and high fiber, exercise often, sleep generally well, and drink plenty of water. I suspect my sugar intake might be the culprit.

I've observed a pattern of what I believe to be slowed digestion and motility, which leads to constipation. I then have symptoms congruent with SIBO (I have no diagnosis and can't get in to the gastro for several months, but symptoms are at least similar), and that backup leads to pelvic floor issues. My stools are typically not hard or difficult to pass, so I don't think it's an impaction or dehydration issue. Things just aren't moving along as they should.

I (36f) have lived in Sarasota for 4 years now, but am considering moving to Venice when my lease is up, as there are more affordable options and I'm looking to upgrade to a slightly larger, updated place.

I know Venice is even more geriatric than Sarasota, but I feel like it may fit my needs. I don't have kids and I don't drink, so I don't care about bars, activities for kids, schools, etc. I'm very much into beaches, kayaking, and exploring the outdoors. I enjoy thrifting and Venice has some good options in that regard. I feel like it has what I'm looking for in several aspects and is close enough to surrounding areas.

Is traffic any better? I work on Clark Rd, so I know my drive will be a little longer than it currently is. Any advice or info is appreciated. 😊

I browse r/cf4cf and will get on a dating app every so often, and I can't help but notice the majority of child-free men are looking for women to be gaming partners or attend anime conventions with, etc. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having those interests, but it seems overwhelmingly common among child-free people, or at least men.

I have no interest in such things and it makes an already very limited dating pool even more limited. It's not that someone needs to share all of the same hobbies and interests with their partner, but there needs to be some common ground. Has anyone else noticed this?

You are just parenting in a much less convenient and more expensive location. And annoying everyone around you.

I took a short trip to the east coast of Florida to check out the space center. Of course it's family-friendly and I expected a lot of kids. However, I booked an upgraded bus tour and somehow managed to be around a family with a crying and fussing baby the entire time. At one point it was shrieking over the tour guide trying to speak. I'm not sure they enjoyed any of the tour constantly trying to soothe the baby. It was all they did.

I had breakfast at the hotel and despite the many open tables, a family decided to pile around a two top table next to me. The grandparents and mother were so fed up dealing with the young kids. You could hear it in their voices and see it on their faces. Just constantly reprimanding the kids trying to get them to behave.

I don't even bother with hotel pools because they are always full of annoying kids. Fortunately the beach wasn't crowded and I could stay away from kids for the most part.

Don't even get me started on international travel or high-end vacations with babies and toddlers. What an absolute waste. I swear parents are just trying to prove technically they can, though we all know they shouldn't and they'd rather not. Has this always been a thing? Travelling around the world with babies? I grew up poor and didn't travel at all so I'm not sure if this was the norm.

I'll preface this by saying that I suspect I may be on the asexual spectrum, but I have always identified as heterosexual in the past.

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We are all aware that many men will only treat you with kindness or express interest until they get sex. Then they either lose interest or treat you poorly.

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Or they don't treat you differently, but sex becomes an obligation. It may be fun and exciting in the beginning, but then the honeymoon phase ends and fear sets in that if you're not doing enough sexually or good enough at it, they may lose interest and look elsewhere. Or the relationship is not healthy and you aren't fulfilled emotionally, but you're expected to still have sex with him.

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Every time I consider dating, I think about this. In the past I always had anxiety about sex with men. It was performative in that I always placed their pleasure above my own. I'm 36 years old and can count on one hand how many times a man has given me an orgasm. As long as they got theirs. My satisfaction was usually an afterthought, or they did care but were just bad at it.

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Also, every time I see anything on r/askmen I realize how toxic and emotionally stunted most men are, regardless of age. Everything is about what value women have to them, usually physical.

I posted here a while back about a close friend of mine who got pregnant and her wedding was planned for just weeks after giving birth. That surprisingly wasn't as disastrous as it could have been. She was fine at the wedding and family watched the baby. There were hiccups and it was stressful, but I did my best to be a doting bridesmaid. The whole wedding she was frustrated with how the evening was going, the venue and caterers, etc, and didn't seem to enjoy it at all. She also hasn't shared any of the photos because she is insecure about how she looks, but I bet they're great pictures and I'll probably never get to see them.

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The wedding was a few months ago and we've talked a handful of times, but our friendship is already fizzling out. I anticipated this and made peace with it, but it still sucks. Yesterday was my birthday and I didn't even get a text. She looks at all of my stories on FB but never engages with posts. I know that sounds dumb and social media isn't necessarily real life, but when I post accomplishments like two years of sobriety and graduating college, it's weird for one of your supposed best friends to not even react. She's actively posting baby photos and of course society naturally goes nuts over that sort of thing.

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I understand we have made different life choices and have different priorities, but we don't relate at all anymore. When we met we were both single women and agreeable in many aspects. I have grown and evolved in my beliefs and views on things, such as political and moral issues, and she hasn't. I can't get past the fact she doesn't care about any issue that doesn't directly affect her as a white woman living in upper middle class suburbia. And I've always struggled with the fact she doesn't like animals (irrelevant, though not). But not acknowledging my birthday just solidified it all. Even though it's not a surprise, it sucks and I just wanted to vent to people who understand. I wish her well in marriage and motherhood and I am not angry, but I am grieving.

It seems common to see eldest daughters choose to be child-free, but how many of us are only children? I spent so much time alone or around adults as a kid, and the thought of being around kids all the time would be unbearable and overstimulating.