u/_I_Reims_I_

I’m curious how many of us enjoy listening to heavy music during depression or hypomania, because I’ve noticed something about myself.

When I’m in a long or just depressive phase, listening to very heavy music somehow makes things feel easier. In the past, on lower doses of medication, heavy metal and phonk would actually trigger hypomania for me, but after increasing the dosage, that stopped happening.

I’d be interested to hear about your experience :)

About a year ago, I fell into depression and lost my sense of meaning and desire for things. Before that, there was so much I wanted to do, so many plans and goals I had. And even now, after increasing my meds again, I’m still stuck at this point where I don’t think about ambitions or dreams anymore I just hope things don’t get worse. I keep living the same day over and over again, with only occasional changes like going for a walk or riding my bike. It feels horrible.

And on top of that, there’s this feeling that I’m living a life I could’ve lived so much better. Even though I am learning, and I’m getting better at not hating myself for it anymore.

And another thing:
How do you accept the feeling that you’ve lost or are losing your future? Yes, I know there’s still life ahead of me. I know that logically. But it feels like I can’t compete with other people anymore. They keep moving forward while I can barely stand still. That’s genuinely what it feels like. And sometimes that really hurts.

I started taking Lamotrigine, and it completely changed my life.

For over 5 years, I genuinely believed I was addicted to porn. It was extremely hard for me to go even 5 days without it. And it wasn’t just a simple urge you could brush away. These were intense obsessive urges that felt impossible to resist. When those moments hit, it was like my brain just shut off, and I would do it no matter what morals, principles, or promises I had made to myself beforehand.

When I started taking lamotrigine during a severe depressive episode, I noticed changes within just a few days. But what shocked me the most was this: by the second day, the hypersexuality, constant porn thoughts, and overwhelming sexual urges had already become much weaker. I didn’t “lose my sexuality.” I can still feel attraction, arousal, orgasm, and sexual desire. But now it’s no longer this obsessive noise in my head. It’s just a feeling something I can ignore, postpone, or move past without this exhausting internal battle.

The strangest part was realizing that all this time I hated myself and thought I was just “weak” or “addicted,” when in reality the issue may have been connected to my mental state rather than just a lack of willpower. I even noticed it when I had to stop taking the medication for a few days. The obsessive thoughts and sexual urges came back almost immediately literally the next day. And once I started taking it again, they weakened again too.

I’m sharing this just because maybe someone else has spent years blaming themselves for being “addicted,” when the issue might actually be more complicated connected to mood, impulsivity, or other mental health conditions. Sometimes treatment can change far more than you ever expected. Also, I want to clarify: don’t think Lamotrigine is some kind of miracle pill. It helped me a lot, but for other people it might do almost nothing. Finding the right medication is often a long process with your doctor, where you have to try different things and figure out what actually works for you.

Hi! I have a question regarding legal information for immigrants in Alberta.
My questions:
What are the main laws and rights I should know as an immigrant in Canada (Alberta)?

Is there an official website or legal information resource for immigrants in Alberta (for both newcomers and long-term immigrants)?

Is there an official collection of Canadian/Albertan civil laws and rights?

Context: Many companies and people take advantage of the fact that newcomers do not know their rights, and they exploit or deceive them. I would like to have an official source of information.
Thank you for any advice!

Maybe you even believed that lie yourself when everyone around you said you were an idiot and incapable of anything and you know you used to struggle but now you're actually smart and have mastered a complex technical field or learned a language?

How has your life changed, and how did you manage to break that line of lies and humiliation?

I want to share with my friends or parents this feeling of inner aversion. When you understand with your mind even more than just knowing that you need to do something, and it's really important, but you just keep running away from it. There are things I put off for four months, even though, logically, they're very simple. For example, just replying to an email from an ordinary person but it took me over four months to do it. Right now, I only need to go to a website and download a form I have to fill out that would save me a significant amount of money. And what happens? It's already been a month that l've been
"circling" around this task, keeping the tab open in my browser, but still haven't sat down to open it, read it, and download the form.

I'd like to share this strange feeling. I don't even know how to describe it... I just hope you understand me, because I think you've probably gone through similar moments in your own life.

And the weirdest part is that I don’t even feel depressed right now 🫥
I’m just mentally exhausted by the fact that humans have to eat every single day.
Constantly deciding what to buy, what to cook, whether to eat now or later.
I’m so tired of this endless daily routine around food.

I’m looking for a long-term gaming partner. Right now I play almost exclusively SnowRunner, occasionally Deep Rock Galactic, but mainly SR.

My time zone is Mountain Time (UTC−7), Canada (Alberta). I usually play in the evenings after work, around 7–9 PM.

I speak Ukrainian. My English is basic. I can explain things, but sometimes it turns into a bit of a “guess what I mean”🥲😅 situation. I understand spoken English much better though. I’m also hoping to improve my English through this.

I’m a bit shy at first, but once I feel comfortable, I become much more open and talkative. I play in a chill, no-rush way and try to complete maps 100%, so if you like that style, we’ll get along. We can play on my maps.

I’d prefer communication to be mutual not just one-sided. But if you’re more comfortable playing quietly, that’s fine too. Outside of games: I like traveling, have lived in a few European countries, and enjoy both telling and hearing interesting stories.

Almost all of this text was translated using a translator or ChatGPT. I can read English well, but writing it myself is still difficult, so I use help for that.