u/_kenzo__tenma

Hello,

I am currently on a room rental contract, and I have one flatmate. There are 2 bedrooms in the flat, and we each have a room. Today, I have called the gemeente to denounce landlord intimidation, however the employee has informed me 4 people (including my landlord) are registered at this place. I have never heard of the 4rth person. In my 8 months of renting, my landlord has only visited us ONCE. He came for 15 minutes one day to check if everything was still ok/not broken. He actually lives abroad.

He doesnt have stuff there, no shoes, nothing..

will i run into legal trouble if i denounce this fraud? i have been staying there for 8 months, and I have registered dutifully at the geemente. Also does anyone know who to call to make the situation regular?

Hello,

I am currently on an indefinite rental contract, and I have one flatmate. There are 2 bedrooms in the flat, and we each have a room. Today, I have called the gemeente to denounce landlord intimidation, however the employee has informed me 4 people (including my landlord) are registered at this place. I have never heard of the 4rth person. In my 8 months of renting, my landlord has only visited us ONCE. He came for 15 minutes one day to check if everything was still ok/not broken. He actually leaves abroad.

He doesnt have stuff there, no shoes, nothing..

will i run into trouble regarding my rental contract if i denounce this fraud? i have been staying there for 8 months, on indefinite contract, and I have registered dutifully at the geemente. Also does anyone know who to call to make the situation regular?

update: the gemeente has been informed. thanks everyone for the kind comments and advice ☺️

Hello,

In last October, I have signed a temporary rent contract from October 2025 to September 1 2026. I have since noticed, and confirmed with the juridisch loket and another pro bono lawyer that my contract does not satisfy the conditions to be temporary (it does not mention any exception under the wet vaste huurcontract law), and it is in fact an indefinite contract.

The landlord is not hearing this, and he is telling me that I am breaking the law, and that he will call the police on me if i am still in the flat by September 1.

He is claiming (by email) that he needs to move in and otherwise he will be homeless, but then also by email he said it is fine and he doesnt actually need to move in, if i agree to pay a higher rent. he is living in london, he has a house there.

How do I protect myself against illegal eviction?

Hello, I am wondering if i can go to the huurcommissie for excessive charges. Below, you can find my landlord's email:

"Expenses are as follows:

1.         Monthly expenses payable by the landlord

(1)       Property management&heating fees (excluding adjustment surcharges)  €412

(2)       Internet and TV fees                                                                                                 €58

(3)       Water charges                                                                                                            €22

(4)       Electricity charges                                                                                                     €48

Subtotal                                                                                                                                 €540

2.         Annual taxes/fees payable by the landlord

(1)       Waste disposal tax                                                                                                  €390

(2)       Sewage treatment tax                                                                                           €496

Subtotal                                                                                                                                 €886

 

Based on the payment list above (excluding price adjustments or supplementary payments):

The landlord's average monthly cost is: €540 + (€886 / 12) = €614. (This amount is shared equally between the two tenants.)

 

The breakdown of your rental costs is as follows (monthly):

(1) Property management and heating fees (excluding  adjustment surcharges)     €206

(2) Internet and TV fees                                                                                                        €29

(3) Water charges                                                                                                                   €11

(4) Electricity charges                                                                                                            €24

(5) Waste disposal tax (390 ÷ 12) ÷ 2                                                                                  €16

(6) Sewage treatment tax (496 ÷ 12) ÷ 2                                                                            €21

Subtotal (service charges, other utilities, and taxes)                                                       €307

 (7) Base rent                                                                                                                           €593

Total rent                                                                                                                                  €900"

Hi, I have booked flights to hong kong, i would arrive early on the 8 of december and leave on the 21 of december, late afternoon. I am wondering if I could cram Hong Kong, Chengdu, and Chongqing in 13 days? Does this seem reasonable? I am including many "hong kong days" bc my main reason to visit is to see the place where i used to study

I was thinking

8 to 12, hong kong

13 train hong kong to chengdu

14 to 16 chengdu

17 to 19 chongqing

20 trip back to hong kong

21 airport, flight back

Hi,

I have always felt stupid, but it got worse when i did my research masters, when i met some brilliant peers who were pretty much surfing over the material, while i was struggling to keep my head out of the water. Since I joined a phd, i meet some brilliant people every day. I get envious and insecure, and I dont even know how to feel better about all of that.

Is there a way out of this feeling?

Hi,

Since i started the phd 9 months ago I became super hungry and i started eating much more. I snack the entire day, and i come back home starved and I have my dinner super early! Ive been having 3 diners sometimes. However I have lost a few kilos.

Hey,

I see that some people recruit participants online for research with a biased agenda. If you are considering to participate in any online study or interview, a few tips:

- Informed consent form: If there isn't one before starting the study, its very weird. Remember participation is always voluntary and you should always be able to withdraw without adverse consequences. For example, if you consider that the information they ask is too personal and if they dont give the option to leave the field blank in a survey, you can drop out.

- Data handling/Privacy: As the data you give is sensitive, I would check in the inform consent form if the data is anonymized. Pseudonymization is NOT THE SAME as anonymization, it is weaker. Be aware that anynomization in practice is very hard, and check if there are details as to how anonymization will be set up.

- Contact details: Real studies give you a way to reach the researcher and usually the ethics board independently.

- Researcher details: Check who the researcher is and what they are affiliated with. Is it a reputable institution?

- Ethical approval: check if they got ethical approval (there should be a number) and who they got it from. Bachelor's and master's students can do studies without ethical approval (in some universities, not all of them) but I'd be careful.

- Scams: Some "studies" are data-harvesting or phishing. Requests for excessive personal info, banking details, or asking you to pay anything are warning signs.

You can notice that the advice I am giving will not protect you from a biased study design. Unfortunately, it is hard to guess the methodology of a study before and during participating. This is the job of peer reviewers and journal editors to assess the quality of a study for publication. The best you can do is make sure to protect your data.

A side note on reporters: they have much less ethical and data protection requirements. Some reporters lie about their intent. Therefore this guide doesn't apply to reporters.

Hi,

My surgeon is pretty chill and said i could pick the nipple size or shape i want. But... its not rly something i ever thought about? I just want it to look natural and masculine. What do "masculine" nipples even look like?? omg

Hi,

I recently received a report of the huurteam that says the max base rent is 30% lower than what i pay. The landlord sent me a new contract and if i sign it, it shows the same rent than i currently pay. If i sign the new contract, can i receive a rent reduction from the huurcommissie on both contracts? The number of points is very low too, 64.

Thanks

Hi,

I recently received a report of the huurteam that says the max base rent is 30% lower than what i pay. The landlord sent me a new contract and if i sign it, it shows the same rent than i currently pay. If i sign the new contract, can i receive a rent reduction from the huurcommissie on both contracts? The number of points is very low too, 64.

Thanks

Hi all,

I am looking for other perspectives and advice. I think I love too frugally because spending with me is associated with guilt, and I feel like I am too reckless with money. First, I am spending a lot on therapy. I pay up to 2600 euros in not reimbursed therapy per year. I am doing CBT with (soon) EMDR for some pretty heavy mental health challenges, but so far therapy has improved my health significantly. I will also have to do a surgery this year, 8000 euros, which has been denied by my insurance.

Here is the thing: I can afford it, but I feel terrible about it. This extends to other basic necessities (i procrastinated 8 months before buying a new phone). How can I feel more confident that my spending is necessary and not "reckless"?

Thanks for reading

I recently estranged myself from my family a few months ago, and here is the list of things that i have planned, or done, and that I wasnt have been able to do earlier because of my family:

- started my phd

- applied to get my name changed!

- got on my own health insurance

- planned to get gender affirming surgery this summer

- on waitlist for trauma informed therapy

- got diagnosed with adhd and started medication (its life changing)

I never felt like an adult. But i dealt with so much paperwork recently, I am feeling a bit more adult now.

Hello, I have seen it is possible to get a tax return on non covered medical costs.

If my health insurance refuses to cover a mastectomy abroad (i dont mean partial reimbursement, what if they completely refuse to cover it), can i just get a tax return on it?

Thanks

Hi,

I am a transgender man and I moved to the netherlands for work a year ago. I intend to stay here 3 more years. I now am affiliated with a dutch health insurance. I am aware that the system is quite slow and I do not have a dutch diagnosis yet. I am even going to get top surgery in germany this summer. I am being followed in belgium for hormones.

I intend to go through with more medical procedures. They are quite pricy so even if i could get one done in the Netherlands, i would go with it. Realistically, can I expect to get a diagnosis + anything done in a 3-year time window or should i just give up? Thank you.

Hello,

I came across a few pictures of results of liposuccion/body contouring/masculinization surgery. They are pretty amazing; but I am wondering if such results would be achievable with exercise and hormones alone. i have been 2 years and a half on hormones, i am fairly lean 167cm and 61kgs, but i am still unhappy with my silhouette. can someone give me some opinion? thanks

Hello, Im in my mid twenties and I downloaded a dating app meant for ace people, hoping that people won't be inappropriate there. Well unfortunately I got hit on by multiple men twice my age, and I am very surprised, in a bad way. Even if its not sexual, it still can be predatory. I also got multiple members of the app telling me that its actually not predatory. Not really a safe space. Ill stick to more traditional dating apps where you can actually select who sees your profile.

Hi, I work with a someone who is hard to work with. There is nothing I can do about it. Is the best coping strategy to focus on detaching yourself from work (work life balance), or is it just to be healthier in general (do more sport, sleep better)? Or is there anything better I can do?

Hello,

I am wondering how I could make my self esteem better? I feel horribly embarassing and I cringe at myself all the time. I have problems with my appearance and my eating. I feel like a criminal for being attracted to anyone. I also feel like Im gonna lose my job bc i feel terribly incompetent. All those insecurities torment me daily and they all have roots in things my parents have hammered in my head.

I know logically im not lal those bad things, but my belief is that i am rotten and bad at my core and that tere is nothing to save. Because of this, ive been self sabotaging and punishing myself all the time.

How can i work on that? ive been to therapy but i feel like its not helping enough.

My mom used to tell me not nice stuff, she told me 10 insults in one sentence, she didnt stop harassing me, and she followed me around. She didnt let me get away from this, i couldnt listen to music, or go outside, or talk to someone else. She stole my medications when i got mental health medication, and she stole my ear plugs when i bought some. She overwhelmed me until i cried or shouted back at her. She basically didnt let me cope or ground myself, and because of this, me and my sibling have absolutely no ability to cope with upsetting stuff. (I learned some through therapy, and I have medication now)

Is this a deliberate technique to abuse someone, or is it just her fucked up personality?