u/blahblahlucas

I've noticed that the most underwhelming ones end up 1st place or around that area and super good ones end up low or not even make a good %. Whats going on??

My true self is the logical one. Calculated, stoic, lacking a lot of empathy. But I also have another version, another self, that contains most of my emotions. And their strong emotions. Something i can't control. And i hate it. Its like that part of me takes control and spills out the most intense emotions, while my logical / true self can only watch helplessly. I don't know why, exactly. Maybe due to my mom forcing me to swallow my emotions and become an "adult" extremely early, so the emotional side "split" from me. But that is just a theory. I hate it. I wish i could get rid of them

Anyone else like that? How can i deal with this?

I've been a fan of Ons since 2015. I even got a tattoo of Mika on my Forearm (to show my dedication) but i want this series to finally end already. Every chapter is more and more confusing and more Moody than my own BPD splits 💀 Everyone and everything is changing their minds every few pages. I don't even know how it'll end bc the author is being extremely unpredictable atp. Wouldn't be surprised if Yuu does resurrect everyone and the last pages will show everyone living normal happy lives in the "new" world and us readers will be left exhausted and happy its finally over instead of sad

I know that version of Quetiapine/ Seroquel has been in a shortage for 2 years now but at the beginning on the year we had stock again and it looked like it was going to come back. Now I've completely ran out and no pharmacy has it or can order it in my region and online. The thing is, my body can't handle the fast acting version. Meaning, i have to go down on my meds even more and I'm already at a low dose due to the shortage. I'm scared bc I'm barely holding on already and now I'll be low on my meds and I'm terrified to go back to the psychward bc they didn't help last time and refused to change my meds like my psychiatrist wanted me too.

Honestly, idk what to do. My psychiatrist is gone bc its up in the Air if she'll be allowed back to her regular office by the state medical board bc germany hates psychiatrists

Don't get me wrong, i love the changes. But now i see myself more as a guy, than i did before, and i feel like i look and behave like those "reddit basement dwellers" 😭 Like, earlier my Spouse went Shopping by themselves because its way too hot for me to handle being outside due to my disabilities (they were too hot too but they had to go shopping bc we didnt have any food left anymore) and i wanted to play some cod on my Spouses PS5 and i felt like those guys that everyone warns you about bc they're lazy snobs who just game and shoomsh off of their partners. My Spouse keeps telling me its not true and that I'm not like those dudes at all but idk, I'm so extremely critical of myself now after Testosterone. It probably has something to do with the way i view almost all guys anyway. We constantly say "ugh Men" all the time and constantly talk about how much we hate a lot of guys, which is still true, but i guess its starting to affect me now bc i somehow start to see myself as those guys and my whole view on myself is being distorted.

Idk if anyone else has that issue. I wasn't disgusted with my behavior as much as i was now before Testosterone. Idk why Testosterone makes me more self conscious

I adore the mouse feature that the joycons have! I use it everyday for Fortnite. I suck at aiming with the joysticks. I feel so rusty and take a while to aim on the target. So, naturally, after i bought my Spouse a Ps5 for our 6th wedding anniversary, i tried to play with a Mouse and Keyboard. And i suck at that too! I'm good with aiming but doing movements with the Keyboard is torture! The S2 joycons are just the best of both worlds! Mouse aiming while quick movements with controller. I wish i could use it on the ps5 too

I was a bratty / power bottom before but now on Testosterone I'm extra double submissive! But also somehow want to Top more lmao Anyone else like that?

Especially because all the other Persona remakes made it to the switch. Maybe they'll announce it later?

For example: I was playing on my switch 2 yesterday, when i looked down on my upper thighs and suddenly noticed them being covered in hair! Before, my upper thighs were always hairless or had hair but you couldn't see it and only my lower thighs had hair. Now the Upper ones are growing a lot of hair and it surprised me so much bc i haven't noticed till now! Made me look at my body again and i see so many changes now, that i haven't before.