u/bluepetals_ta

Some disclaimers based on the experience I had when I made the last post here:

1. Do NOT DM if you are not over 33.

2. Do NOT DM if you are a married guy seeking "female friendship" coz God knows what's wrong with your marital life.

3. Do NOT DM if you want to enlighten yourself about how it feels to be single at 35 and looking for some gyan.

4. Do NOT DM seeking casual/situationship/flirting/blah blah blah that does not align with what I am looking for.

5. Do NOT DM for any other purpose than what I'm putting up the post for.

6. Do NOT DM with flowery messages which some AI tool has helped you generate. I am not here to meet an AI tool.

Such DMs will be ignored at best or reported at worst.

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I am sharing some basic details. I am looking for a connection that can lead to a blessed marriage.

If you think we align, please send a short message introducing yourself and what you're looking for. We can start from there.

Age: 35

Place: Bangalore/Hyderabad

Marital status: Never married

Height: 5'8

Diet: Non-vegetarian

Job: A corporate 9-6 job

Salary: Around 35-40 lpa

Caste: Kannada Gowda

Mother tongue: Kannada; fluent in English, Telugu and Hindi

Lifestyle: active, fitness is a major part of my lifestyle

Hobbies: Running, Badminton, Cafe hopping, visiting/exploring events/activities related to arts, culture, tech, literature etc

Personality: Introvert to ambivert depending on how I connect with people.

Religious inclination: Believe in God, Hindu, not very much into rituals, I would say I am spiritual

Political leaning: Moderate

Kids: Want

Looking for an emotionally mature man who can hold conversations and is in a similar life phase as me.

Marital status: Not married (non-negotiable)

Location: Bangalore/Hyderabad or willing to settle down long term in either of these cities. (Negotiable)

Age: 33-38

Height: Above 5'10

Diet: Non-vegetarian

Job: Similar (salaried). I don't gel well with start-up founders/VC/businessmen etc. based on my prior experience for a long term relationship.

Salary: Similar; +/-15-20%

Lifestyle: Should be active. By that I mean being in shape and taking fitness seriously and not saying 8k steps per day is being fit. It is a mindset thing and not about being physically attractive/not.

Religion: Hindu (non-negotiable); Gowda/Reddy preferred, not a deal breaker.

Mother tongue: Kannada/Telugu would be good. Not a deal breaker.

Hobbies: Have one outside of work.

Personality: Not too loud.

Kids: Want

Politics: Not too extreme.

People who are on reddit to police others, don't bother commenting/sending DM. I am at an age where I know what aligns with me and what doesn't. The tone is formal and not rude/snobbish.

Thank you.

After I have had a glow up, some women who I looked up to, had close bonds with, constantly put me down in social settings. When it's 1:1 they are sweet and nice. In social settings too, I don't talk much or try to be the centre of attention. I keep to myself. On the rare occasions I say something, they say something caustic/harsh/rude things. Today the girl I went on road trip with a couple of days ago said something on the lines of death when I was telling how I'd like to trek. Very randomly. 'You will fly away and noone can know what happened to you'. This is not the first instance. Not with one person. I recently got a pixiecut. While most women complimented me, one person who I thought was a good friend laughed at me in front of everyone. Thank God, noone else thought it was funny for her to laugh at me. How to deal with such circumstances/people? Sweet when with me alone and bitchy when in a group setting, actively trying to shame me or put me down.

Have been hearing this quite a bit recently. Even when I'm casually talking on phone. I also seem to attract people more - people find reasons to talk to me (both men and women). I'm a woman.

Might probably delete by tomorrow. Need to get it out of my system.

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Recently, about a couple of weeks ago, I (35F) went from shoulder length hair to a pixie. I have curly-wavy hair. I have also been going through some changes in life (not so good). For more context, I went through a huge physical transformation (22 kg lost). Those of you who have been through such a transformation would know that there will be 2 versions of yourself - one before, one after. Embracing the 'after' me took a while. I also went through somewhat of a mental transformation too. Slightly more confident and slightly more straightforward. To give an image, I was the woman who was funny, sweet, nice and quirky. The same me is now smart, cute, elegant and confident. Funny how people perceive and treat you when you put efforts into yourself.

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At work, I've been getting few compliments on the haircut. I never thought much of it tbh. I was sad and angry and needed to feel new. That was what the haircut stood for, for me.

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Anyway, few people - the ones that put me in the bracket of the 'before' version laughed at me, made some harsh comments etc etc. However, a lottt of other people have been complimenting me! I didn't realise I was that famous lol. Today I got a lot of compliments...I am too shy and although I give off the vibe of idc, deep down, I'm a mushy girl. One female colleague called me chic. Another sweet woman colleague who always has nice things to say to me called me 'Hey, smart woman, this look suits you'. A guy I barely knew had been trying to talk to me since a week. Today he came up to me and went 'This new haircut, it's looking good on you'. Awwww. Another female colleague who saw me for the first time said 'gurl, mera hi nazar ho jayega. Ghar jaake nazar lena' and I was like awwwwmaxxx. But yeah I did feel a little sick today. Another female colleague who sits opposite to me (genZ) said, 'I love how your hair is wavy wavy like this like this' hand gestures like a fish. Oh mannn. I was blushing all the while trying to not smile coz I'm a serious person who doesn't get affected by compliments. When I was at the parking lot at the end of the day, another woman colleague saw me after a long time and was like, full eyebrows raised 'oh. You look so good. Wait, what were you saying, I was busy looking at your hair'....Mannnnn I had such an awesome awesome day today... 🧿🧿🧿

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Idk. I'm just happy after a long time. Too old to be sharing about such cutesy stuff with my parents. Too girly to not share it with anyone.

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Okthanksbye.

SP and I were attracted to each other. Me more than him, or maybe him more than me, he was never the expressive kind. There were a few misunderstandings and he distanced himself from me. This longing of wanting to be with him is pure torture especially on days when I'm happy like today. I want him to come back to me, apologise for his behaviour and choose me. What technique/s should I follow? New to NG. I had tried visualization for fun and it worked like a charm. That was for chocolate and cute stuff, not for a person.

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I am missing him a lot today.

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I'm a moderately attractive woman in my mid 30s. In my 20s and early 30s, all I attracted were men who tried to take advantage of me. The fault is partly mine. I was too naive.

In the last 2 years, I have put in good amount of efforts to become a better healthier version - physically, mentally, emotionally.

After my transformation (~50 lb weight loss, dressing according to my body shape, effect of martial arts on my confidence and posture), I have observed that I've become attractive and people try to talk to me well and I'm treated better overall.

My dating scenario hasn't improved a lot. I don't attract creeps anymore but I'm also not able to find a decent man for a long fulfilling committed relationship. Guys seem to put me on a pedestal or enjoy my company but don't pursue me romantically although I can see a lot of admiration. This is a pattern I'm seeing. Almost like they're saying 'I wouldn't feel like I'd be the man in the relationship', which is sad. I keep to myself, talk selectively to people, don't smile as much as I used to (mostly coz that tended to attract the weird ones), focussed on what I'm doing, driven. I'm warm and talk/communicate well and people find me likeable.

What specific body language should I embrace to attract the right man romantically?

Edit: microwave* safe

Hi. I'm planning to buy lunch boxes that are microwave safe. Office has oven. Would like to carry my own lunch.

Would like recommendations and reviews of ones that you can vouch for.

Thanks.

For those who work in professional office environments, do you notice your female coworkers' clothes, and overall fashion sense?

Asking coz I'm getting a wardrobe makeover. It's going to be quite a change from what I used to wear.

I get compliments for dressing well, both men and women. I have a unique style and put in effort into wearing what looks good on me.

I also don't want to get attention for my dressing alone, post the makeover. Just to be clear, I dress quite modestly, mostly business causal/ business formal style. I'm moving to a more casual style.

Tl; dr: Do men notice how women dress at work?

I'm quite old by AM standards. 35F. After being in the market for about a decade now, I'm done. I have lost the spark to meet/talk/know anyone. The dream of a married life is fading away.

Recently I met a match my parents found. About the same age as me. He lacks maturity. Maybe coz I've been more responsible in life and he didn't have to struggle a lot. Earns less than me. Which is alright but he isn't ambitious. Looks forward to enjoying his life. Lacks discipline. Also a smoker and drinks every 2 weeks. That's an absolute mismatch. Social drinking is fine. But every 2 weeks past the age of 30...I'm not so sure.

I also didn't see any 'protector/responsible' man traits when I met him. I have been on dates, AM and dating apps, both. The gentlemen I had met on AM dates always made sure they dropped me at home. Which was almost like a given. This guy...we met quite late coz both had longer work days, it was raining heavily in Bangalore, I reached the place via cab. When I was leaving, he didn't as much as offer to give me a ride. It was almost 9.45 pm then.

I know it may not seem like much to a lot of people. But the kind of family I come from, men always make sure that women are safe. Like I said, the other AM dates always made sure I was dropped home safely when it got late. It was really a put off for me. Kind of felt like he is not a reliable person. Can't depend on him for anything.

He has been texting me to talk. All his texts are him trying to be funny. Which would have been okay if he had acted maturely. Now I feel like he's q 25 yo boy in a 35 year old's body. I don't have interest in talking to him anymore. I am not attracted to him either - mostly coz of hsi behaviour.

My parents are forcing me to say yes to him coz I'm already old and I won't find anyone.

Also, I have honestly lost interest in men altogether. I'm drained of putting efforts and I'm just done with it.

Seeking advice/solace.

Looking for an independent house

Atleast 1600 sq ft

Budget stretchable upto 2.5 cr

BDA is preferred but not mandatory

Please share if there are any leads.

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It's a song on Devi Katyayani (not the stotra)

It goes something like Katyayani Mahaamaaye kannane (?) vijaye daye, shikipita (?) dharahare nanabharana bhushithee

Learnt this song as a child and I'm unable to recollect...

Please help. Thank you 🙏🏻

It's a song on Devi Katyayani (not the stotra)

It goes something like Katyayani Mahaamaaye kannane (?) vijaye daye, shikipita (?) dharahare nanabharana bhushithee

Learnt this song as a child and I'm unable to recollect...

Please help. Thank you 🙏🏻

Hi. Looking for sandals for my mother who is a diabetic to wear inside the house. She has diabetic neuropathy - less sensation on soles and has been recommended to wear diabetic footwear. She has a bit of dizziness - most of the sandals I checked have very thick soles so I am not sure if it would work for her. Soles should be moderately thick soft. Please give your recommendations based on your experience. Thanks.

Hi. Looking for sandals for my mother who is a diabetic to wear inside the house. She has diabetic neuropathy - less sensation on soles and has been recommended to wear diabetic footwear. She has a bit of dizziness - most of the sandals I checked have very thick soles so I am not sure if it would work for her. Soles should be moderately thick soft. Please give your recommendations based on your experience. Thanks.

Hi. Looking for sandals for my mother who is a diabetic to wear inside the house. She has diabetic neuropathy - less sensation on soles and has been recommended to wear diabetic footwear. She has a bit of dizziness - most of the sandals I checked have very thick soles so I am not sure if it would work for her. Soles should be moderately thick soft. Please give your recommendations based on your experience. Thanks.

The last time I made an elaborate post, it gave a wrong perception about me.

Keeping it simple this time.

Hindu (Gowda if that matters). Kannada. Good job. Decent pay. Fit. Nerdy. Slightly ambitious. Emotionally aware. Looking for someone with whom conversations are effortless, mutual attraction happens organically, and can see a future together.

More details on DM.

Please share a quick intro about yourself in case you think we could be a good match.