u/coolfunkDJ

I've read some theory that suggests gender is nothing more than an aesthetic social practice, which if true, could persist...

Radical feminists seem to believe that gender is in itself a byproduct of patriarchy. Some think that gender is essential and even in a world without patriarchy, men and women will still have common characteristics due to biology (gender-essentialism as it were.)

What does gender look like in a world which doesn't seek to keep men in a place of higher power and privilege?

Whenever this happens it feels so personal and a massive wave of panic comes over me. Even if intellectually they are just pointing out what they are/aren't comfortable with, to me it feels like a massive huge disagreement and like I've ruined everything and they'll never see me the same and that I have been downgraded as a person and I should have already known that's something they are/aren't comfortable with etc. Then I start to question whether I'm a terrible awful person and start feeling a bunch of things about myself that are untrue.

It's so debilitating and makes having relationships extremely difficult, I try to manage my own emotions here but it can throw me into deep pits of depression and anxiety that takes days to crawl out of.

Do you have a vision or a theoretical society in mind, or do you knock over the pillars as you go? I’m also curious which way around you view it: is ending VAWG one step closer to a world without patriarchy, or is ending VAWG just a consequence of knocking down the patriarchy?

Im not sure how well i’m getting myself across so I’ll structure it like this:

1. Can you envision a world without patriarchy?

2. Do you believe there is a root cause we need to be slashing at to achieve it, or should we keep hacking off the symptoms one by one?

I don't often rewatch it (this is my third rewatch) but every-time I do my appreciation grows larger and larger. The comedy is absolutely hilarious and you can almost hear Steven Merchant's own voice in the more dry witty one liners. But what gets me the most is how three dimensional all the characters are.

In the US counterpart, characters show depth but mostly they are just flanderized. Kevin is the stupid one, Stanley is the grumpy one etc. They don't feel like real people, more like over the top caricatures of people. I love the US show, it was actually the first one I watched, and it's also very intelligently written too in it's own right. But this show is just so different that it hardly feels fair to compare them.

I am just blown away by how real the characters in The Office feel. I swear to god I've met people who act exactly like David Brent, or Finch, or Tim etc. The most outlandish one is Gareth, but even he has this deeper layer and sadness that often gets explored, he's a man changed by the army and looking for any sort of order to his life again. It's just an absolute masterclass in character writing.

When watching it feels like even these one off characters that only appear for at most an episode, have a much deeper inner world. Just the small things, like in the Training episode where the instructor is reading a newspaper, or his little dialogue about how long he's been doing the job for. It's stuff like that that makes it incredibly real, and I think that's why the comedy works so well.

The comedy is also hillarious too, don't get me wrong, but I feel like it's made 10x funnier by how the characters around it are reacting. The really small moments like Tim saying to the camera "he had to go home and get that" when Ricky pulls out the guitar, and seeing the instructor melt into his seat in anger, it just creates such a wacky world yet one grounded in reality, that you can't help but laugh.

I think This Country is probably the only thing to ever rival the real quality of The Office for me. Even the later works of Ricky and Steve like Extras and Life's Too Short don't feel quite as real as this. I get genuine flashbacks to the short periods of my life where I worked in an Office and couldn't stand it, and it captures that feeling so incredibly well. Also the ending to Series 2 is probably one of the greatest and most well-acted endings of any UK sitcom, and I'll just leave it at that if you haven't seen it.

Absolutely brilliant, I hope this encouraged you to give it a rewatch if you haven't.

I know literally nothing about them and I'm getting quite confused looking at all the different names like Titan, Panini, IDW etc. I think I start with Titan? Maybe? But then what's the essential reading? I don't know it's all a bit overwhelming to me compared to when I just picked up Big Finish and listened to their volumes. I need a bit of help deciphering all of this

I don’t even particularly interact with them much when i’m living there, but there’s such a comfort in the regularity. I know what to expect and that’s given me a very safe and predictable space. I’ve grown up in that area my entire life and i know where everything is and how my routine goes.

However I’m 25 and moving out and everything is just causing me so much fear. The flat doesn’t feel like home, everything feels uncertain and wrong, everything has changed and is different, and it’s causing me to wake up in panic and I’m having to come visit my parents often. I want to go back with all my heart but I know that I don’t actually, I want to be independent and have my own place. But I can’t stand how it’s making me feel

I don’t even particularly interact with them much when i’m living there, but there’s such a comfort in the regularity. I know what to expect and that’s given me a very safe and predictable space. I’ve grown up in that area my entire life and i know where everything is and how my routine goes.

However I’m 25 and moving out and everything is just causing me so much fear. The flat doesn’t feel like home, everything feels uncertain and wrong, everything has changed and is different, and it’s causing me to wake up in panic and I’m having to come visit my parents often. I want to go back with all my heart but I know that I don’t actually, I want to be independent and have my own place. But I can’t stand how it’s making me feel

I was wondering if you guys know of any good anthology movies. I’m talking stuff like V/H/S, All Hallows Eve and ABCs of Death. I really like these for their short burst horror and they are usually pretty easy yet fun watches. Any recommendations?

I've 112%'d Hollow Knight and pretty much exhausted all the serotonin I could get from it. I absolutely fell in love with it, I loved how alive the world felt and how I basically got the whole map imprinted in my head. It was so atmospheric and just absolutely full of life, I can't lie and say the difficulty was my favourite part of the game, but everything around it was more than enough motivation to keep pushing on. I need more, please help!!! (I'm not interested in Silksong at the moment, it seems challenging and I'm burned out on difficulty atm)

I’ve never been more shocked at the disconnect between people complaining about a problem vs how prevalent of a problem it actually is. Let me give you an example about the discourse surrounding “should men pay for the date”

I have been on many dates over the last few years with many different women and none of them have ever expected me to pay, in fact they often rush in first to pay first themselves. Either that, or they insist to pay for their meal separately to the waiter.

It’s made me realise something and that’s that most discourse is completely imaginary. Why are people discussing so much about men being expected to pay for dates when that’s not even a reality? I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but i’m not kidding i’ve never once had it happen to me.

And maybe it’s the type of women I choose to date that could be completely possible, but if so then it still means i need to stop paying attention to half of the conversations online because most people just aren’t describing my experience at all.

Again, i’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but I needed to realise that just because the internet thinks something is important, that doesn’t mean my dating pool does.

I’ve never been more shocked at the disconnect between people complaining about a problem vs how prevalent of a problem it actually is.

I have been on many dates over the last few years with many different women and none of them have ever expected me to pay, in fact they often rush in first to pay first themselves. Either that, or they insist to pay for their meal separately to the waiter.

It’s made me realise something and that’s that most discourse is completely imaginary. Why are people discussing so much about men being expected to pay for dates when that’s not even a reality? I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but i’m not kidding i’ve never once had it happen to me.

And maybe it’s the type of women I choose to date that could be completely possible, but if so then it still means i need to stop paying attention to half of the conversations online because most people just aren’t describing my experience at all.

I’ve had to move to Dewsbury since it’s the only place i can afford while unemployed and my parents are absolutely wrecking my mental health. It’s to the point where anywhere but living with them would be better.

However, i’m pretty nervous since Dewsbury has a terrible rep. It’s one of the only places i could find, and i don’t plan on staying here forever. I hope to move just as soon as I get a job.

I’m close to transport links so I plan on going into Leeds for most of the time anyway, but I do like to go on daily walks. How nervous should I be?