u/gameovervip

I think mine comes out sometimes for the right people but generally I can’t express myself. No just because of nerves even although that can play a part sometimes. I just lose my quick wittedness around others and can’t loosen up and I forget how to socialise. A lot of people think I’m autistic as a result I think. Even when I’m on my best form I can be funny but I don’t think I’m a leader or that respected. I’m still not the most chatty etc. I’ve received some condescending remarks from people close to me even. Anyone else?

Just wondering how much a big of a deal it is for you? Is it just shyness or is it more than that? Does it affect all socialising most of it or just some of it? Do you have any other MH issues?

I’m 37 now and only started paying into pension at 30. I am on a £29kish salary at Royal Mail. I also get some PIP money. I’ve been at Royal Mail for 7 years. The pension has recently changed to a collective defined contribution scheme which is the only company to use this in the country. I am on a mission to try and secure a retirement plan for 60. There were some years I was out of work and I paid off enough National insurance credits so I could effectively retire at 60 and still claim the state pension. Obviously we don’t know what will happen with the state pension by then though. Hopefully it’ll be safe if it’s still around. Anyway according to the Royal Mail pension site I’m forecasted to earn £14,500 every year if I was to retire at 67. But I’m planning on retiring before that when I’m 60 and claiming the pension when I get to 67. I’ve started paying £50 AVCs every week into my workplace pension. I have also been contributing £150 a month into my LISA. I am due to receive about £220k in inheritance which I plan to pay off the remainder of my mortgage with and put 60k onto a SIPP and increase my LISA payments

My question is

- will I likely have enough of a bridge between 60 and 67? I could live on 20k a year net quite happily.

- will the pension likely be enough through my workplace? I didn’t start paying until I was 30 and want to retire early at 60 but I’m putting in more. And I’m presuming I’ll have some sort of state pension?

I couldn’t find my food thermometer so I just winged it. I can’t remember how long I let it cook for. I’ve got a strong stomach but my wife not so much. Is it worth the risk? Or is there anything I can do?

Literally despise it. All I’ve been thinking lately is about retirement and I’m putting money aside. I know when I retire it’ll probably be a bit anticlimactic but I am honing in on it. Maybe a bit too much even. I have a good life now really. A lot of stuff in life that I have to contend with, personally speaking and other general life stuff but I can’t help but feel life would be so much better if I didn’t have to work.

I feel less like a mental health patient and more like a prisoner to the mental health system. It’s not like other medical professions. I don’t want their help. Partly because when I’m manic I am more resistant but even when I’m not. The medications have harmed me over the years. I’d have been better off without “treatment” I’m sure of it. If I don’t stay stable though it’s not going to do good for my relationships and I will just get out on other meds or locked up anyway. I’m sticking to current regime in the hope that it’ll be ok and at the moment it’s not causing me any significant further harm. I just hate that I have no choice but have to deal with them. Wish I could separate myself from them. There is no cure for bipolar, the meds aren’t recommended for long term use so what’s the point? If I don’t take it though I’m being “irresponsible” so got to just take it on the chin and carry on with it. If I go manic it won’t be “treatment is pointless” it’ll be another drug with more potentially harmful side effects

I feel pretty unheard about my issues. No one wants to believe me or give me the time of day. I have 100% got a fear of heights from meds I took years ago, I also have loss of libido on an SSRI and put on 50kg. I have bipolar and I have little choice but to take the medication. Just wondering if anyone else has been through something like this? I feel so alone in this. Am I the only one suffering from meds they took years ago other than PSSD?

So I have been bipolar for 16 years now (I can’t believe it’s been that long) and been off an on several medications. I am trying not to be anti psychiatry about the whole thing don’t get me wrong. But I have had a lot of problems because of the medications I’ve taken over the years

1.olanzapine was the first medication I took and that made me gain weight and gave me a fear of heights (this isn’t formally recognised but it started the same time as I got prescribed these meds, I didn’t put 2 and 2 together until later and I’ve seen similar anecdotes online) anyway both those side effects have stuck around after coming off the medication (actually ended up gaining 50kg overall from various medications since then)

2. Aripriprazole made me gamble like crazy when I was on it but actually stopped when I came off at least

3. Took citalopram I know I probably shouldn’t as it’s an SSRI and can trigger mania but that killed my libido for good. I do have a wife but sex is rare and I often have to force myself

4. Lithium I seem to be more anxious over certain things. Socially this twitch I sometimes rarely got has been more predominant, I can’t drive on motorways hardly now, and I think my heights phobia has got worse

How normal is the scale of these issues? Is it normal to get as many side effects as this? Especially when most of them seem to be permanent. Am I a medical anomaly? How many others get as many side effects as this?

I guess I’m just feeling unfortunate in all of this so need some reassurance. I want to feel reassured because i feel like I’m in a bad situation. The psychiatrists don’t listen to my complaints either or don’t believe me even if it’s listed as a side effect. I just don’t want to feel so alone and so unlucky with it all. Kind words would be appreciated

Let me just say first of all I got a ton of problems from medications. Weight gain, PSSD, phobias and god knows what else.

Anyway lithium has been ok for the most part except I found I am a bit scared of driving on motorways now. I think I can just about manage but I have to go at a slow but reasonable speed even then I don’t like it much at all. Also bit funny about driving over big bridges now. I guess it’s because it’s about fear of loss of control.

I already had a fear of heights I developed when on another antipsychotic which has stayed with me for life seemingly. I have heard other stories of people getting this although rare. Anyway when I took lithium I am a bit more cautious I think but only a little bit. I think it might have slightly gotten worse.

Also before I had this slightly strange mouth twitch when I smiled when I was feeling a bit self conscious in social situations. It used to barely ever happen but now it seems to happen a lot more often. It really sets my anxiety off and I feel like I got to hide it at all costs. Makes me avoidant of other people and social situations.

Anyway just wondering if anyone has been through similar while on lithium?

I take Invega Sustenna and lithium. The Invega Sustenna I’ve been on about 10 years with little problems except slightly higher prolactin. I’ve been on lithium for a year with little issues that I’ve noticed anyway. How high is the chance of kidney/thyroid/anything else issues? With Invega Sustenna can i live a long life? What about taking them both? For the record i am obese as I’ve put on a lot of weight over different meds over the years. I don’t smoke drink or do drugs. I exercise. I hope to lose weight in the future

1. Lost sex drive - 10 years ago
2. 100lb weight gain - over the course of many years on different meds
3. Weirdly olanzapine gave me a severe fear of heights - 14 years ago

These are still with me today and make my life hard to navigate. I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar and it’s not improved. I get dragged to the doctors when I’m unwell. I have little choice. I take lithium now which is scary on its own. I am not sure if it increased my anxiety or not but it would explain a lot

I can’t be the only one who’s suffering with lots years after taking them?

Just thought it’s always been me who “goes crazy” and I do act bat shit crazy when manic and not in a good way. I act quite deranged when manic and not normal. It seems like the stuff you only see in fiction. I’ve never come across anyone acting peculiar on social media, in real life or any media that could have been a mental health episode. Is it really that uncommon or am I missing something?

I mean in a political sense nationwide and worldwide. Obviously cost of living is shit right now. Lots of political tension. The way of the world seems to be going down hill. The thing is I’ve only been an adult for a short time so I’m wondering if I’m just more aware of it and/or see more of it on the internet than I’d perhaps used to have. I didn’t use to think about stuff like this. Are we in particularly trying times since Covid? Or have we been getting screwed over for a much longer time than that?

So I don’t really get depression but mania every few years. I have somehow kept a decent standard of living for myself but a lot of things are on a knife’s edge that I’m hoping mania won’t ruin. I guess I’m just wondering what the chances of mania going away one day actually are? I lead a pretty healthy lifestyle for the most part and I feel like I do nearly all the right things. When I was in hospital last I was told “they don’t really know if bipolar can ever go away” were they sugarcoating it or can it potentially stop?

For me it’s the lack of cheese on pizzas these days. So fucking annoying having to top up out of my own supply every time. There’s plenty of others but can’t be bothered to name them all. When do we say enough is enough?? One of these days it’ll be mini everything or cheaper ingredients everything

Everyone hates me when manic and not only have I made a fool of myself and embarrass myself in my behaviour I’ve also been a cunt to others especially those closest to me. My reputation has been completely ruined over the years. Does anyone relate?

That’s when the self loathing started. I start questioning my personality and start feeling like a bit of a freak. I am on the quiet side. Don’t get particularly nervous in day to day social situations but I feel like a bit of a robot socially like I have no personality. I know I got a personality at home with loved ones. But people sometimes take the mick out of me at work for instance and I just laugh but it kind of confirms my beliefs about myself. Or I just get ignored and feel like I have no presence at all. I hate this. Does anyone relate or can tell me if this sounds like social anxiety?