u/h0td0gmilk

The doctors assumed I was bipolar because my mother was diagnosed with it, so they diagnosed me too. Now doctors told my mom she really doesnt have it lol

Anyway, I don't feel like I've experienced much mania in my life. But I have a lot of rapid cycling through emotions. My doctor keeps adding more meds saying she wants me to watch for signs of mania and they never come! I told her I think maybe I dont have it, but she says it would be hard to tell at this point.

She just raised my paxil again to 62.5 mg and I'm also on 150 mg lamictol, 30 mg adderall, and 30 mg propranolol. And I still encounter problems frequently with no mania present. I'm not even sure what I'm looking for by posting this. Maybe similar experiences?

Why cant I come to terms with the fact that I exist? I dont feel that horrible disgustingly crushing depressed feeling anymore. But sometimes I just sit down and realize I'm still so sad that I'm alive and that I have to rely on medication for the rest of my life to even cope with the fact that I'm here.

My legion go overheats the second its unplugged. Ive cleaned the fans and tried changing the settings and updating things. I guess I'm not the most tech savvy lol what else could I do to fix this?

You dont HAVE to be a rimworld player, but bonus points if you are! I'm planning to play through Palworld as well when it comes to 1.0 next month.

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Does anyone here play Rimworld? I would love to have someone to talk to about my runs or yours.

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I'd also like to just be friends in general and we can play some multiplayer games as well! I really enjoy Peak and Slay the Spire 2. There are also a few multiplayer games id really like to try as well if you're down!

I like playing video games like Slay the Spire 2 or Rimworld. I also like to listen to audio books, practice other languages and listen to music in my spare time. My availability can be kind of erratic and I dont always reply quickly, but I will do my best!

The last person I got close to from here hurt me. I just want to meet someone I can connect with again. I want someone I can chat with daily (preferably on discord). Someone who isnt gonna voice chat with me for 30+ hours a week and then block me and tell me that I'm a flake and that I dont respect their time because sometimes I fall asleep and dont show up on time. I'm getting better after years of bad mental health and I'm really trying to put effort into being a good friend.

I need to keep my mind occupied. Preferably something with controller support so I can play in bed, I love games with collecting or busy work. here are some examples of games I've loved (im a sucker for pixel graphics also) I have switch, pc and an android

Vampire Survivors/Crawlers

Fields of Mistria

Let's Build a Zoo

Hades

Cozy Grove

Megabonk

I didnt like Stardew Valley, Graveyard Keeper, or Terraria

I won't lie, its my fault because I have a tendency of falling asleep when I say I'll do something at a certain time. So now I'm looking for someone close to my time zone (pst) who understands that I cant constantly be there because I have kids to take care of and other stuff to do. But I'd really like someone to at least chat with.

I'd also love to find someone I can game with occasionally. Some things I'd like to play are Slay the Spire 2, Diablo 4, Palworld, Hytale and maybe Minecraft or Palia.

Also, I'm married and not looking for any sort of romantic situation!