u/jahodovahoubicka

I've been with my partner for four years. He was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis two and a half years ago, and since then, so much has changed. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to be a better partner or how to support him in the way he needs.

Before his diagnosis, our relationship was wonderful. We both felt certain that we would spend the rest of our lives together. But then this illness came into our lives, and now I barely recognize him. He used to be caring, kind, and supportive, but it feels as though all of that has disappeared. He's become extremely irritable, emotionally distant, and depressed. He argues with everyone... his family, his coworkers, and me. Hardly a day goes by without him criticizing me for something, and I'm starting to feel completely overwhelmed.

I've suggested many times that he should see a psychologist or psychiatrist, or that we could try couples therapy together, but he has rejected every idea. I've tried offering emotional support. I've tried giving him space. I've taken on some of his responsibilities to make things easier for him, but nothing seems to help. I'm not enough.

I don't know whether I'm looking for advice or simply a chance to get this off my chest. I just want to stop hurting, and I want my partner to feel better.

For as long as I can remember, I've struggled with feelings of guilt around owning and consuming things. It's difficult to explain, but it's a deeply ingrained sense that there is something inherently wrong about it.

It's not really about the monetary value of the things I own. Rather, it's about all the time, resources, labor, and human effort that went into producing them. When I look at an object, I often think about how many people were involved in making it, under what conditions they worked, what materials were used, and what environmental cost was paid along the way.

Sometimes it feels as though I could never repay the debt I owe for everything I've ever bought, received, owned, or used. Not a financial debt, but a moral one.

Over the years, these feelings have become less intense. Buying second-hand items, supporting artisans, and choosing handmade products has helped me feel more aligned with my values. Still, the underlying question never completely goes away, and I often find myself reflecting on it.

I'm curious whether this resonates with other E5s, or whether this is more of a personal issue unrelated to type. Have any of you experienced similar feelings about ownership, consumption, or the hidden costs behind the things we use every day?

F25, 5w4 so/sp