u/lanakane21

I have trouble with recognizing when to set boundaries, like for example..this past weekend was my fiances birthday. His family came out to visit him and to see our new place together. His oldest cousin and aunt came into my room looking around and asked to use the bathroom. My door was closed and they just came right on in. I immediately felt my forehead get hot and I was annoyed but didn't say anything.. this cousin in particular is very confrontational, mean and crosses boundaries alot shes one of those people who its cool for her to walk over people but if you try her its all bets off. I have trouble with setting boundaries because of the fear of consequences just like with his cousin.. the more i try to overcome this issue and fear the more i want to avoid people all together. How do i get over this fear

I made a list of rules to follow when im out at gatherings. I have tendency to hover over people and i miss social cues alot so I made this to help me a bit. Is there anything I need to change?

1. While you're out at restaurants, bars and clubs excuse yourself to the bathroom to take a breather. Splash water on your face as needed.

2. If you're going to drink while in public stick to 2 drinks.. try to keep it to 1 though.. Stick to 1 shot and 1 beer really just stick to beer while out in public period.. same rules apply with weed 2 hits and thats it.. don't over do it and embarrass yourself.

3. DO NOT!!!! Project your feelings of uncomfortability onto other people. If you feel uncomfortable thats okay find a way to ground yourself and stay present without projecting that onto other people.. People are trying to have a good time and you're bumming them out.. don't do that... walk away or go home if you can.

4. DO NOT!!! hover, leer or linger around or over people in group settings.. its weird and you look desperate don't do that... It's okay to have a conversation with people for a bit but after silence hits get up an walk away..

5. Take frequent breaks in between socializing.. if you're at a party or large gathering find a place to sit and take a break.. during said break breathe, tap your fingers, squeeze your hands and count to 10 this will keep you grounded and present.

6. While socializing keep your responses short enough to where it isn't too awkward .. and if its warranted or possible walk off somewhere so you don't look awkward.

7. Try not to be on your phone too much... and dont be fucking weird.

For a while ive felt like i needed deeper help, I wanted a program that was similar to how they do addiction rehab but for mental health specifically. Even if i did need to stay there to get my mental health better id do it, then I found out about Partial Hospitalization Programs. Im functioning okay at the moment, I have a job and my own apartment. I struggle immensely with communication my needs effectively, setting boundaries and nervous system regulation. Ive tried working on this myself but I cant let go of the fear of consequences of what will happen if I speak up.. i dont see a reason to stand my ground if the other person doesnt even regard me as a person.. my question is have anyone on here voluntarily admitted themselves in a PHP for their mental health and did it help?

For a while ive felt like i needed deeper help, I wanted a program that was similar to how they do addiction rehab but for mental health specifically. Even if i did need to stay there to get my mental health better id do it, then I found out about Partial Hospitalization Programs. Im functioning okay at the moment, I have a job and my own apartment. I struggle immensely with communication my needs effectively, setting boundaries and nervous system regulation. Ive tried working on this myself but I cant let go of the fear of consequences of what will happen if I speak up.. i dont see a reason to stand my ground if the other person doesnt even regard me as a person.. my question is have anyone on here voluntarily admitted themselves in a PHP for their mental health and did it help?

How do I let go of the fear of consequences of speaking up for myself? Growing up i was conditioned to be obedient and subservient, my autonmy was dismissed.. i was a doormat and if i tried to speak up or defend myself I was shutdown repeatedly i would be so upset but couldn't say or do anything about it..i was basically broken down like a like a soldier but wasnt built back up... this broke me down and I gave up trying to defend myself.. unfortunately this has carried into my adult life im 30 now, while im aware its necessary to speak up and stand out my brain still reverts back to stewing anger and fear while being verbally abused.

Has anyone here learned to do this later in life im talking from 25 onward. Tips, advice and words of encouragement welcomed

How do I let go of the fear of consequences of speaking up for myself? Growing up i was conditioned to be obedient and subservient, my autonmy was dismissed.. i was a doormat and if i tried to speak up or defend myself I was shutdown repeatedly i would be so upset but couldn't say or do anything about it..i was basically broken down like a like a soldier but wasnt built back up... this broke me down and I gave up trying to defend myself.. unfortunately this has carried into my adult life im 30 now, while im aware its necessary to speak up and stand out my brain still reverts back to stewing anger and fear while being verbally abused.

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Has anyone here learned to do this later in life im talking from 25 onward. Tips, advice and words of encouragement welcomed

How do I build my self respect, self esteem and self love? Im not really in a good place at the moment. I hate the way way that I am, in recent years ive found out im Autistic, ADHD, severely anxious and possibly OCD.. im horrified how I invite and attract certain people who dont fuck with me like that or who just pity me. I know now its due to my fucked up nervous system.. but anyways my self respect, self esteem and self love are low.. if i could measure it id say its coffe table height.. how do i build myself up as a 30yr old black woman..

How do I build my self respect, self esteem and self love? Im not really in a good place at the moment. I hate the way way that I am, in recent years ive found out im Autistic, ADHD, severely anxious and possibly OCD.. im horrified how I invite and attract certain people who dont fuck with me like that or who just pity me. I know now its due to my fucked up nervous system.. but anyways my self respect, self esteem and self love are low.. if i could measure it id say its coffe table height.. how do i build myself up as a 30yr old black woman..

My mind is constantly on go mode, I can physically relax but my mind feels like both the tv and radio are on at the same time. The only time it turns off is when I go to sleep. Im constantly thinking about everything all the time and it makes me feel like im on edge. I hate it because it seems like I can never let things go like i ruminate on things for a long time.. like for years, even though the situation its self is resolved and I know the answer to why, what, when and where about the situation at hand I still ruminate on it involuntarily. I try to redirect my focus on to other things but it doesnt work for long..

I have been formally diagnosed with adhd inattentive type and autism level 1. Could this also be a form of OCD too? How do i relax my nervous system and keep my brain from running constantly?

Does anyone else deal with this, thoughts and advice welcomed.

My mind is constantly on go mode, I can physically relax but my mind feels like both the tv and radio are on at the same time. The only time it turns off is when I go to sleep. Im constantly thinking about everything all the time and it makes me feel like im on edge. I hate it because it seems like I can never let things go like i ruminate on things for a long time.. like for years, even though the situation its self is resolved and I know the answer to why, what, when and where about the situation at hand I still ruminate on it involuntarily. I try to redirect my focus on to other things but it doesnt work for long..

I have been formally diagnosed with adhd inattentive type and autism level 1 and I possibly suspect some form of ruminating OCD. Ive been on setraline and propranolol and some others I forgot the name of but they didn't work.. i have heard that fluvox may help with anxiety and ruminating thoughts are there any other meds that may help with quieting my brain and stop ruminating?

My mind is constantly on go mode, I can physically relax but my mind feels like both the tv and radio are on at the same time. The only time it turns off is when I go to sleep. Im constantly thinking about everything all the time and it makes me feel like im on edge. I hate it because it seems like I can never let things go like i ruminate on things for a long time.. like for years, even though the situation its self is resolved and I know the answer to why, what, when and where about the situation at hand I still ruminate on it involuntarily. I try to redirect my focus on to other things but it doesnt work for long..

I have been formally diagnosed with adhd inattentive type and autism level 1. I feel like this could also be a form of OCD as well, How do i relax my nervous system and keep my brain from running constantly?

Does anyone else deal with this, thoughts and advice welcomed.

Im 30F im 145 pounds, i started noticing that my fingers would cramp up, tingle and go numb when carrying heavy things during my early 20s, now that im in my 30s I see that its gotten a bit worse. My fingers give out after 30 seconds of carrying or lifting things and I get a shooting pain in my hands and wrists. Its gotten to the point i can't even excersize any more. Is it possible for carpal tunnel to slowly develop over the years?

I started noticing that my fingers would cramp up, tingle and go numb when carrying heavy things during my early 20s, now that im in my 30s I see that its gotten a bit worse. My fingers give out after 30 seconds of carrying or lifting things and I get a shooting pain in my hands and wrists. Its gotten to the point i can't even excersize any more. Is it possible for carpal tunnel to slowly develop over the years?

Do write up just accumulate until they fire you or do they actually fall off after a while?

I have incorrectly assumed that im close with someone. I got familiar too quick and feel embarrassed by this, this person is a family friend of my fiance whom Ive known now for 6 years. I have apologized for my behavior and have began to pull back, shes still cordial with me and hangout sometimes and offers to pay for things or give me gifts. While im greatful, appreciative and thankful I do not feel comfortable with receiving anything from her. How do i let her know that while i deeply appreciate her kindness, I dont want her to feel obligated to be kind to me on my fiances behalf especially when Ive proven i dont deserve it.