u/matcha_mom

I’m 7 months pp. found out about his online activity about 2 months pp and I’ve just been a wreck this whole time. I’m in therapy but I feel like it isn’t helping. I’ve been mourning what I thought this experience would be, how I can’t always be present for my baby and how terrible of a mother I am for not cherishing my days, instead being a sad, depressed shell of a person. How we were going to get married but how could I ever get married to a man like this. Mourning the life I had before becoming pregnant. How he prefers women who clearly have never been pregnant.

I’ve been trying to do side hustles like selling things online and now looking for a part time job to stash more money. I want to leave. I don’t want to live life like this but I wonder how I’m going to do it all when I have to split custody eventually. I never wanted to leave but I’m at a point where I’ve been having terrible intrusive thoughts and I know I’m mentally drained. Not much else to say, don’t have anyone to talk about this with so I just need to vent.

I know this is her granddaughter and first at that. I know it’s irrational and dumb of me to get upset over something so small but I feel so annoyed whenever we go see my in laws and first thing when I walk through the door my baby is taken out of my arms. Every single time.

This last week we went out to eat and I knew it was coming so I was going to try to put my foot down and keep baby in my arms. We arrived at the restaurant and right away she is trying to grab baby and I say “oh no it’s okay I’ve got her” and she STILL TOOK HER?!? While eating she was holding my baby the whole time and granted, I do enjoy a break… I know she just wants to bond with baby but I had to pry my own baby out of her arms only for her to snatch her back the next second.

I think I’m being irrational, probably the hormones ugh. Someone tell me this gets better because why do I get so upset over this???

I’ve only shipped out one item on FB marketplace so I’m not experienced but I had someone message me a proof of payment but when I went to my orders it was never there. I couldn’t find it even under pending offers. I really thought they were trying to sc am me since they told me where to ship rather than just receiving a label and that was that.

Well today I finally saw the review after a couple of weeks (only 3 reviews btw) and it’s totally inaccurate ☹️ says they bought something i cancelled the order and was rude?!? I’m really disappointed, I’ve already reported it but it didn’t really fall under any of the categories of just being completely inaccurate. Do you think FB will remove this or I’m stuck with this one star ):

I’ve been selling baby clothes on Vinted and had some packages to send out with SpeedX. I dropped my packages off at an auto center yesterday and all have been shipped minus one. I contacted the auto center to see if it was missed and being picked up to which they said all packages have been picked up. I’ll give it another day since it’s 48 hours for tracking info to show up but it’s weird all the other packages have been updated.

Thankfully wasn’t an expensive item and I can take the loss but my Vinted account will probably get one star review for not completing the sale. 🥲

Wondering if anybody else has gone through this?

It’s exhausting hearing/ seeing people talk about how porn is normal and “all men do it” but fail to realize most men have been watching since children and have been conditioned into thinking it’s normal.

If you don’t care your partner uses porn, GREAT. But to criticize people that have a problem with it, calling us prude, insane, or overreacting are oblivious to how misogynistic and disgusting the world treats women.

We are expected to just let men do what they want and sexualize us because that’s “their nature”. They have “urges” and cannot control them apparently.

I have a listing of a coach bag on FB marketplace but with shipping and 10% seller fee, the buyer was asking if I had Vinted and if I could sell it to her on there.

Would this be a bad idea? I’m selling it for $90 and I’m terrified of losing this bag and/or being out of the money if she tries to scam me.

Anybody sell higher priced items/ advice?

I’ve wanted a soho for so long but I’m having to accept I might never find one for a reasonable price. Seeing them listed for $250-400 is insane to me but I understand because they’re so popular right now. It just seems like a bad financial decision to purchase a bag that’s mostly fabric and 15-20 years old. Ugh.

Hi. I’m wondering if anybody has experience with telegram and how it works. I saw my husband viewed a link to a telegram recently and also bought some starts (digital currency) on the app back in March. I’m not familiar with telegram and what they could’ve been used for. Do you think they were used for private content?

I found my boyfriend’s Snapchat filled with messages he would slide up on to “save” but he was also messaging girls on there. I was 3 months post partum at the time. OnlyFans sexting, instagram, TikTok, Google Drive. I found more and more over time but ultimately I’ve found myself at a point where I don’t care to check. I don’t care to know, and I don’t think I love him anymore. When he says i love you, I feel obligated to say it back. It feels meaningless, and as much as it hurts me some days, most of the time I feel like I have detached and just don’t care anymore. I take care of myself and my baby, that’s the most important thing in my life right now.

I have accepted that he will never stop and we are simply not compatible. My boundary is for me and I cannot force him to do anything, no matter how many times he tells me he “wants to stop”. It means nothing without action. I have no desire to mold and control him, the person meant to love me right will be all that I need without the betrayal, without the pain and sleepless nights.

So he can continue to look up barely legal teens, women who are clearly not post partum. He can have his hand and do what he wants. I just don’t care anymore.

I was a size US 8 before pregnancy. Today (5 months pp) went out to get new shoes as none of mine fit me anymore and I’m a size ten. A SIZE 10.

Hi! I have a 5 month old, my husband and I decided I would leave my career and stay home with baby to avoid childcare costs. It’s truly a blessing I get to stay home but it really is overwhelming at times. I get a little break sometimes after he comes home but baby is ebf so I really only get time to myself when I shower or after I put her to sleep. I am also starting online school again so my time has been taken up studying.

Anyways my husband went out last Friday for his birthday which I didn’t mind, I went out too but had to come home after an hour because my mom couldn’t get baby to calm down or take a bottle. I was a bit bummed I had to leave because it was my first time since before I was pregnant but it really wasn’t a huge deal. He stayed out till about 1am when he said he’d come home at 10. I let it go because it was his birthday….not gonna let it become a big deal. Now he’s coming to me today wanting to go out with his friends tonight and I’m kind of bothered? If he goes out tonight that means I won’t get a break at all, probably no time to study and I guess maybe I just resent that fact he can come and go as he pleases with no worries.

I’m wondering how people handle these dynamics. Is it fair to want him to stay home so I get a break or should I let him go out?

For context, my boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years. We have a 5 month old and I knew from the beginning he watched as most men do. But what I didn’t know was how bad his usage was and how it is indeed an addiction. I use to not care honestly but after seeing how deep it goes, you resent the industry and realize how misogynistic it all is. Being 5 months post partum I have had a terrible time in general with my body image, self esteem, and who I am now that im a mother, to say the least it’s been really hard. Throw all this into the mix, seeing how many snaps he was saving from creators, messaging them, only fans, sexting them. Burner Instagram, TikTok, Reddit, who knows what else. But I finally hit my breaking point. With all this going on the suspense of what else can I find has been killing me. I hate snooping, I use to never be like this but now I feel like I have to be a detective and fuck around and find out has never been more true.

I went through his iPad this last week and went through his Google Drive to see the photos we took our the digital cam and in recently viewed there were some videos that looked like porn but god it was worse. It was a couple videos he recorded going through one of our friends phone. Looking at her hidden folders, snaps, photos, all her nudes. He came clean and when we broke up for a couple months in 2024 they hung out and she fell asleep, that’s when he did this. Along with that were videos recorded of girls instagram lives doing nothing sexual at all and a video of a girl tanning by our community pool (recorded from my old bedroom). I’m so disgusted and upset that he’s such a fkn creep. I am so deeply disturbed that this is the father of my child. I told him when he got home that I was done and don’t want to be together anymore and that was that. He came and talked to me and told me how much he loved me and our family but if we were gonna break up and I continue living here (stay at home mom, left my career to take care of baby) that I would have to find a job and pay my own bills since he doesn’t think it’s fair? After talking all day about it I decided I can’t leave and well stay together (please understand this is not really my choice at the moment) and I’ll give him a “chance” to clean up this stuff as he’s dealt with the problem since he was a kid himself but more so I can’t deal with custody arrangements and my mental health is an all time low when I think of this stuff.

I can’t stand to look at him. I’m crying constantly and feel so grossed out and depressed. I have nowhere to go and literally $20 to my name because I’m financially dependent on him. I feel so stuck. I know I have to figure out a plan and do this for myself and daughter but man it’s so hard right now.

I have nobody to talk to about this besides my therapist middle of this week. If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading. I’m not looking for comments saying I need to leave because I fully understand what I need to do. I’m mourning the family I thought I was going to have and I truly just need to vent because I feel so alone in all of this.