u/penguin-boy15

I feel kinda weird asking this but today my friend asked me if I shave my legs (I'm 15m) and I was like huh. I never shave my legs or anything, but I still have mainly only the light hairs you have as a kid. I also get only a little bit under my arms and in my pubic area but not even enough to need to shave (ik you don't NEED to shave, but I personally would if I got more hairy so that's what I mean. Like I wouldn't let it grow to a bush or something). And I got nothing on my face or chest or stomach or anything. I'm a white boy but I'm not blond so it's not cuz of the hair being almost invisible like with some really blond people.

I mean like I can forget what it felt like, I can actually forget rather easily. But it's the stuff they say that always sticks in my head. I wish they'd just be quiet and get it over with instead of all that disgusting dirty talk and what not. No I didn't like it. Don't compliment me. I don't need to know how much you like my body, I can tell. I don't wanna hear about how you like how young I look you fucking pedophile. Don't even start calling me son or buddy or some shit like that. I'm not your fucking kid. You don't need to call me a slut, I already know that. I also know I'm just an object and a toy to you so you don't need to say it. And stop saying little boy or little man you disgusting pos.

What is actually wrong in these people's head's that they can say these things while hurting you. Like some of them try to cope and pretend they don't realize what they're doing but most know damn well and they get even more turned on by emphasizing it. And there's nothing you can even say back because they'll like it either way. If you agree they'll like it and if you insult them or something they'll also like it. Same with struggling or not struggling. Whether you do it or not it ends up the same and they like it both times. Oh you're enjoying it huh you're not even moving. Or oh you're trying to fight huh I like that. Just shut the fuck up. Most people don't even know what kind of insane shit these people blabber. How they comment on your body all the time. They wanna know all about it.

I made a harmless post about how my friend was making fun of me for not going outside at 2am because I don't think its safe and also my mom doesn't allow me to. For context I'm a 15 year old boy. And there's these grown ass, probably gen x, men in the comments harassing me, calling me insults and making fun of me. All because I don't wanna get robbed or raped or something outside in the middle of the night. One of them even somehow got into my post history even tho it's private and tried using the fact that I like beyblades to make fun of me further. Can y'all grow the fuck up. Then they went into full hate rants about how pathetic and irrationally fearful gen z is. Do they really have that little significant stuff going on in their lives that this is what they do?

My friend and I kinda got in an argument over this, it's pretty stupid. He told me to come over to his house but it's about a 25-30 minute walk and it's the middle of the night. I told him I can't come cuz my mom isn't gonna let me walk across the city at this hour. We don't live in the craziest neighborhood but yeah stuff can happen. I don't think it's silly she wouldn't let me do that at 15. She trusts me 100% and knows I wouldn't go anywhere I'm not allowed or wouldn't do any bad things, but she doesn't trust every stranger out there and I think that's fair.

My friend however said it's stupid because I'm not a girl and only girls need curfews. Cuz only girls are at a risk of getting assaulted or kidnapped and idk what else he listed. And while it's true that it's more dangerous for girls it doesn't mean nothing ever happens to boys. I mean stuff like that literally has happened to me before. It's not like I'm a man yet either. So I told him that it's a reasonable rule but he kept arguing with me and calling my mom overprotective and that I'm being a baby. Anyways is he an idiot or does my mom sound overprotective?

My dad has been physically abusive since I was 5, so it has been about 10 years already and still I can't do anything against him. I always told myself that some day I'm gonna hit him back and I've always tried but he's still much stronger and bigger than me and it's no use. I'm just tired of everything. I know I'll be grown soon enough in a few years but I can't take it anymore right now so I don't care what's in the future.

And it's not just my dad, it's a lot of other people and other family members too and everyone thinks they can do whatever they want with me. I actually don't trust a single adult anymore except my mom because they're all either abusive or treat me like shit and my dad was the first one. I wish I wasn't such a useless stupid little kid. It's always adults like him who do whatever they want with me and I can't stop them. I mean he's beating me but there's also the people who sexually assault me and I can't stop it. People are always like "you're a boy you can fight back". But I'm a boy and they're grown men and there's nothing I can do when a guy literally twice my weight puts himself on top of me and pins me down. There's nothing I can do when my dad who's so much stronger than me punches me in the face and I'm knocked down with just one hit.

If it was bullies from my class giving me shit I could probably take them on, probably even 2 at once. But it's different with adults and it's much different when they're scary like my dad or when they're touching you because sometimes I just don't even try to do something and just don't move at all. If I was an adult then they would stop liking me too, so that's another thing. It's not like I'm the most attractive guy in the world but I have just what they want which is my body so I wish I was just a big hairy muscular man already so they'd stop looking at me like that. And then I could fight my dad back too and really give it to him. And I'd tell everyone who treats me like shit to fuck off and they'd take me seriously.

This bothers me because nobody ever tells straight kids they can't know yet. Nobody tells a straight boy that he "might like men when he's older". So no I won't like women and I never have. I'm not too young to know, I simply do. I know I like boys like any other 15 year old boy knows he likes girls. I get that there's people who only figure it out later on. Some gay people figure it out as teens or even as adults but it's different for everyone. I've known I like boys since I was in preschool. I used to get upset when people told me I can't know yet or that it's a "phase" because I did know and it wasn't a phase. I've never even questioned myself or anything, I didn't need to "figure it out", I just knew. Exactly how I'm assuming most straight people just know. I wasn't ever too young to know because there wasn't anything to figure out and it was just a part of me. And it's a part of me now as much as it was when I was a little kid and so it will be when I'm an adult. I also don't understand how it's "inappropriate", as some people say, for me to be gay as a kid but it's never inappropriate for anyone to be straight.