u/pointsofellie

Here is some background on Patricia's case: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cm2p98r3pkxo

Her husband has long been suspected of being her killer.

I’m not a big drinker, 42 years old. Never enjoyed lager but had a few drinks in my youth.

What’s puzzled me lately is when people say they went out the other night and had 5-6 pints. That’s an enormous amount of liquid to be consuming in a short time frame. If anyone said to you they had 5 pints of milk or fizzy pop in the same timeframe you’d ask if they were right in the head. Like why are you drinking so much of anything?

How come it’s just normal? I use myself for reference in that I could never drink more than a pint, if I even finished that.

It's our 8th wedding anniversary tomorrow and I've bought the missus a gift from Amazon. It's coming in an Amazon cardboard box. Do I really need to unwrap it from the box and then wrap it back up again, or can I consider the Amazon box to be the gift wrap?

For reference, we're both in our early-50s, and on our second marriage.

Just sent my wife a text and had to brag about it somewhere?

Married 10 years and we can get carried away with life some times. I cant share stuff like this with my macho buddies so I came here.

"I look at your pictures through out the day like a desert looks at distant rain clouds. Being without you is like wearing headphones without anything playing, constantly being reminded of the absence of their purpose and mine. I love you. I ache for you. I miss you."

TL;DR No complaints or advice needed. Just happy im in a good marriage, we still make an effort.

Names are changed.

My wife, Ava (42F) and I (45M) have been together for 8 years, married for 5 years.

My daughter, Freya, is 17 years old from my previous marriage. Freya is high functioning autistic. Her behavior is erratic.

I believe I made choices in the past to give Freya's life more stability, such as getting married again. My daughter is no longer going to affect my feelings.

Mind you, I did love my wife. We get along well and, for the first 6 years, our sex life was good, and fun!

Over the last two years, our sex-life has declined to the point of none in the last 4 months.

I reached out to an attorney, paid a retainer fee to sue for divorce. He recommended that I speak with my wife about this and find out what she would like out of the divorce.

He recommends that I divorce now for several reasons. She would probably recieve a good chunk of my 401k, it wasn't very large when we got married but it's grown quite a bit since then.

The major reason he recommends now is because A) I have full custody of my daughter and B) The house is in my name, I purchased it before we got married. Between those two things, I would most likely keep the property.

The property is now valued north of 7 figures. It's on 10 acres and has an ADU and a barn.

I'm not the most handsome man in the world, but I also don't believe I'm ugly. I'm overweight though, and I know it. I've been working out and watching what I eat in the last two months and have lost 15 pounds. I've stalled out for the last couple weeks.

We had sex finally and the next day I said we need to have a conversation. I asked if she had realized it had been 4 months. She hadn't and I don't see how she could possibly not know.

I was getting frustrated, angry and resentful. The worst thing she had said to me was in the last four months. She said, "I don't have time for this," referring to me trying to initiate sex. So, after this, I quit. I quit trying.

Ava apologized and said she didn't realize that it had been 4 months. I asked what would divorce look like.

Since that conversation, we've had more sex than we had in the last year.

She also wants to have a child. We have to go through IVF. I am just so unsure because of the last two years and especially the last 4 months. I want to have children but I also don't want to be trapped in a sexless marriage.

Will she revert back to no sex? If I wait to divorce her, I get screwed even harder financially and she could end up with the house. If I divorce now, I will most likely keep the house. I make 6 figures, my wife makes a low 5 figures. She has places that she could stay and I don't have any place I could stay, especially with Freya.

I don't have anyone to talk to. She's friends with everyone and my family loves her.

TL;DR

Wife and I have been together for 8 years, married for 5 and we haven't had sex in 4 months, minimal sex for 2 years. If I divorce now, I save myself a lot of money. Complicated by the fact that we both want children more children. I have a 17 yr old daughter from previous marriage. As soon as I brought up the issue, we have had a lot of sex. Will she revert back to no sex? I know children don't solve our relationship problems. Sex has been our only issue.

What should I do?

EDIT: Tonight's conversation was about upcoming travel.

Her: what airline are we flying?

Me: airline company xyz.

Her: who owns them?

Me: who owns them! What do you mean?

Her: who owns them!!

Me: I don't know sorry.

Her: like what country owns them?

Me: do you mean where are they based?

Her: yea yea same thing dont worry about it i googled it.

Her: you are my partner you should just know what im trying to ask if not ask me. I get my words jumbled up and you should just understand.

She 40f expects me 40m relationship 10+ years to understand everything she says even if it doesn't make sense or if she's used the wrong words or the words are jumbled up.

Ill ask for clarification or tell her i don't know what she's saying or asking.

Then she gets upset because in her mind im being difficult or not understanding on purpose when thats not the case.

If i ask follow up questions she just shuts me down and says don't worry about just forget it.

Tonight she told me you are my partner you should just understand what im saying if not ask follow up questions.

But when I ask follow up or say do you mean this we end up arguing.

Tl;dr miscommunication see title

my love for reading was rekindled in 2025 and I had a great reading year, I read primarily fiction and even wrote my own poems. however this year, I’ve only read 2 books so far and every time I feel like picking up a book, I just use my phone and waste time, and this genuinely makes me so disappointed in myself.. any piece of advice is appreciated :))

[removed]

[removed]

[removed]

I personally favour a marmite slice with a jam/marmalade chaser.

[removed]