My friend wants to come over on his week off but I am a new mom and EXHAUSTED.
Like... he should understand it as a parent himself, but apparently he is God's gift to mankind so I should power through it for the chance to have him grace me with his presence.
Or my postpartum hormonal imbalance is getting to me!? I just don't know.
I dunno, man. Just.... so burnt out. 11 months nonstop. Cleaning this house while raising a baby, and when I get one room clean my husband and MIL trash another, so the next day I clean that and they go and trash the pervious room.
I want a clean house. I also want to be able to just feel overwhelmed and burnt out without one of them getting offended by it.
Even in her later years she was the best cat!
Every pediatrician appointment, they ask if I'm making time for myself. Every OB appointment, general doc appointment, since my baby was born... Am I making time for myself? Am I taking a break? Am I getting in any self care?
I tell them no, because I can't. I'm anxious when I'm away from the baby. The OB sighs and warns me that self care is important. The pediatrician tells me I can be a better parent if I take a breather. My GP just glances knowingly at my husband and changes the subject.
The reason I'm anxious when away from the baby is because I KNOW he's upset when I'm not around. My husband bailed on all his fatherly bonding plans a week into the baby being home. He was around, but never willingly held or fed our son, forgot how to change his diaper, and never learned how to change his clothes. He couldn't handle night duties so it all fell on me.
And plenty of video games and expansions came out during his parental leave so he focused primarily on them, and running errands for his fucking mother.
So our son doesn't consider Dadda an adequate substitute for me. Therefore, he cries and screams when I leave his sight, and won't stop until he's back with me.
Even showering isn't a break time. Husband brings our sobbing child into the bedroom (which connects to the bathroom) and I have to listen to them until I'm done. I hear my husband lose his composure as time passes. He never yells, he just sounds like he's closer and closer to crying as well. All while I'm just trying to clean my hair.
I can't pee on my own either.
So yeah... no rest for me, and it's been 10 months. I'm with him 24/7, and we cosleep. Emotional regulation is exhausting.
I just don't know how much longer I can keep up. I'm growing more anxious and I snap and get angry at the drop of a hat.
Husband doesn't want me to try and get that rest either. He can't handle the baby. I once was very sick and asked him to bring the baby to the groceries and let me stay behind and die on the toilet. He flat out said "No."
Because what if our son gets hungry or has a poo? Remember, he never fed him and forgot how to change him.
I'm sorry. Baby's Mariah Carey impersonation phase has returned and it's like someone stabbing me in the ears. I hate it so much. He does it all day and even when I eventually break and scream "STOP IT!!!!!!!" at the top of my lungs he just giggles and goes on about his day. He doesn't seem to understand when I'm upset.
I finally got my first period since I've given birth and it's worn me out... but husband doesn't give a fuck so I power through it. And I am not sure how much longer I can do that for.
The screaming... I am in so much pain and he won't stop. I feel like a rope on its last thread and I feel like I'm shaking but my hands are perfectly still so wtf is wrong with me. I want to smash my head through a window so I can rest in a hospital bed but let's face it, my husband would leave the baby in the hospital with me and say it's for HIS mental health.
What would be your never-fail solution for sauce in the rug? This is a cheap rug but it's big, too big to fit in the washer and too cheap to bring to a laundromat so....
My Bissell spot cleaner is usually the GOAT for things like this but he's strugglin'.