u/tessatessa75

We ve been together for 12 years, I met him when I was 21. He was my first boyfriend, first love.

The last 2 years i was in depression+ocd ( had no jobs, so I was staying at home , crying everyday, no intimacy and he cooked meals for me when he came home after his work.. I couldn’t do anything😢. But now I healed.

He left me on Valentine’s Day last year in 2025. With 0 👶🏻0💍0💒. It was horrible, I wasted my best years with him. I thought that I was an old lady and that I will end up alone. He said that he sees me like a sister and not a women he wants a future with and that he doesn’t see me as a mother ( maybe because of my depression he though I couldn’t handle being a mother..) and he came the summer telling me that he loves me , it’s me and nobody else and that he doesn’t see a future life and family without me..

He came back this summer, and left me again after 3 months during Halloween. For the second break up, he was not sure, and wanted some time to think about what he wants because he was lost blabla..

I told him that I will not give him more time to think and he should know ,we are are not in our early twenties to be like that, that he comes back and doesn’t know what he wants. So after the second break up, I blocked him on social media but not iMessage, because I Had 1% hope that maybe he will call me quickly and regret his decision, But he didn’t call me… He didn’t even try to know if he was blocked everywhere. And he wasn’t blocked everywhere.

And after 4 month, he said on iMessage in the end of February that he waited to be unblocked but it never happend, and told me that he was sorry and he misses me more than ever…

I didn’t answer and 3 weeks after his first message, he texted me again telling me « Eid Mubarak » because part of my family is Muslim, it’s like saying merry Christmas but I didn’t answer.. I dont’ know what to say.. his sex message is from 20 march and no more text from him…I feel like these 2 messages are not enough for me to answer.. it’s too lazy…with what he did.. I need something more powerful..

Don’t know what do ? Does it mean that he wants us to be together, or he just said that without wanting us to be together and it’s  more like a random message, or just an apology message because he has some regrets or feels guilty ? It is my fault? Because of lack of intimacy ? Maybe if I didn’t become sick.. he wouldn’t leave me the first time.. I felt guilty that’s why I gave him a second chance.. when we came back together I was not sick anymore..

Should I have given him time to think about what he wants at the second break up and not blocked him of insta and WhatsApp? But at the same time I didn’t block his phone number so he never tried to call me and waited 4 month just to write an easy message with low effort ?

Many men told me it’s my fault that he left the first time because I was sick and depressed and cooked meals for me with no intimacy and it’s me that I should chase him even if he left me twice. Some men told me that I should have accepted the break the second time and that it was not a real break up because he was no sure if that’s what he wanted..So it’s my fault because there were no intimacy and that I was sick?🥺

His message when he wish me happy Eid was rhe 19 march and no more text from him.. and he will never text me again if I don’t answer to his lazy message.. what should I do.. ? I worry that he finds someone else and If I answer him, he tells me that’s too late etc…

Edit: Someone also told me this « I am not talking about you personally but just in general. When someone becomes a caregiver for any reason, they start seeing that person as a child, a problem, a patient. That is not sexy and after years, that old feeling is probably not coming back. You probably can’t fix this and neither can he. He was wrestling with his feelings for you and trying to accept that parent/child, caregiver/patient dynamic. He may well feel like he is settling for less and if he continues, this will be the rest of his life. Flip the narrative and maybe you will understand.You need to put yourself first. Let him go and move on yourself. What happened to you was not your fault. Be glad things improved. Be glad he hung around and helped with the heavy lifting, many BFs would not have stayed as long as he did. If I was dating someone who stopped working, cried every day, and just sat around the house, no sex, no fun, I would eventually leave. Wouldn’t you? I might love this person but I need a partner, not a patient. I would think of our relationship as toxic and not good for me. » do you agree 🥺?

We ve been together for 12 years, I met him when I was 21. He was my first boyfriend, first love.

The last 2 years i was in depression+ocd ( had no jobs, so I was staying at home , crying everyday, no intimacy and he cooked meals for me when he came home after his work.. I couldn’t do anything😢. But now I healed.

He left me on Valentine’s Day last year in 2025. With 0 👶🏻0💍0💒. It was horrible, I wasted my best years with him. I thought that I was an old lady and that I will end up alone. He said that he sees me like a sister and not a women he wants a future with and that he doesn’t see me as a mother ( maybe because of my depression he though I couldn’t handle being a mother..) and he came the summer telling me that he loves me , it’s me and nobody else and that he doesn’t see a future life and family without me..

He came back this summer, and left me again after 3 months during Halloween. For the second break up, he was not sure, and wanted some time to think about what he wants because he was lost blabla..

I told him that I will not give him more time to think and he should know ,we are are not in our early twenties to be like that, that he comes back and doesn’t know what he wants. So after the second break up, I blocked him on social media but not iMessage, because I Had 1% hope that maybe he will call me quickly and regret his decision, But he didn’t call me… He didn’t even try to know if he was blocked everywhere. And he wasn’t blocked everywhere.

And after 4 month, he said on iMessage in the end of February that he waited to be unblocked but it never happend, and told me that he was sorry and he misses me more than ever…

I didn’t answer and 3 weeks after his first message, he texted me again telling me « Eid Mubarak » because part of my family is Muslim, it’s like saying merry Christmas but I didn’t answer.. I dont’ know what to say.. his sex message is from 20 march and no more text from him…I feel like these 2 messages are not enough for me to answer.. it’s too lazy…with what he did.. I need something more powerful..

Don’t know what do ? Does it mean that he wants us to be together, or he just said that without wanting us to be together and it’s  more like a random message, or just an apology message because he has some regrets or feels guilty ? It is my fault? Because of lack of intimacy ? Maybe if I didn’t become sick.. he wouldn’t leave me the first time.. I felt guilty that’s why I gave him a second chance.. when we came back together I was not sick anymore..

Should I have given him time to think about what he wants at the second break up and not blocked him of insta and WhatsApp? But at the same time I didn’t block his phone number so he never tried to call me and waited 4 month just to write an easy message with low effort ?

Many men told me it’s my fault that he left the first time because I was sick and depressed and cooked meals for me with no intimacy and it’s me that I should chase him even if he left me twice. Some men told me that I should have accepted the break the second time and that it was not a real break up because he was no sure if that’s what he wanted..So it’s my fault because there were no intimacy and that I was sick?🥺

His message when he wish me happy Eid was rhe 19 march and no more text from him.. and he will never text me again if I don’t answer to his lazy message.. what should I do.. ? I worry that he finds someone else and If I answer him, he tells me that’s too late etc…

Edit: Someone also told me this « I am not talking about you personally but just in general. When someone becomes a caregiver for any reason, they start seeing that person as a child, a problem, a patient. That is not sexy and after years, that old feeling is probably not coming back. You probably can’t fix this and neither can he. He was wrestling with his feelings for you and trying to accept that parent/child, caregiver/patient dynamic. He may well feel like he is settling for less and if he continues, this will be the rest of his life. Flip the narrative and maybe you will understand.You need to put yourself first. Let him go and move on yourself. What happened to you was not your fault. Be glad things improved. Be glad he hung around and helped with the heavy lifting, many BFs would not have stayed as long as he did. If I was dating someone who stopped working, cried every day, and just sat around the house, no sex, no fun, I would eventually leave. Wouldn’t you? I might love this person but I need a partner, not a patient. I would think of our relationship as toxic and not good for me. » do you agree 🥺?

We ve been together for 12 years, I met him when I was 21. He was my first boyfriend, first love.

The last 2 years i was in depression+ocd ( had no jobs, so I was staying at home , crying everyday, no intimacy and he cooked meals for me when he came home after his work.. I couldn’t do anything😢. But now I healed.

He left me on Valentine’s Day last year in 2025. With 0 👶🏻0💍0💒. It was horrible, I wasted my best years with him. I thought that I was an old lady and that I will end up alone. He said that he sees me like a sister and not a women he wants a future with and that he doesn’t see me as a mother ( maybe because of my depression he though I couldn’t handle being a mother..) and he came the summer telling me that he loves me , it’s me and nobody else and that he doesn’t see a future life and family without me..

He came back this summer, and left me again after 3 months during Halloween. For the second break up, he was not sure, and wanted some time to think about what he wants because he was lost blabla..

I told him that I will not give him more time to think and he should know ,we are are not in our early twenties to be like that, that he comes back and doesn’t know what he wants. So after the second break up, I blocked him on social media but not iMessage, because I Had 1% hope that maybe he will call me quickly and regret his decision, But he didn’t call me… He didn’t even try to know if he was blocked everywhere. And he wasn’t blocked everywhere.

And after 4 month, he said on iMessage in the end of February that he waited to be unblocked but it never happend, and told me that he was sorry and he misses me more than ever…

I didn’t answer and 3 weeks after his first message, he texted me again telling me « Eid Mubarak » because part of my family is Muslim, it’s like saying merry Christmas but I didn’t answer.. I dont’ know what to say.. his sex message is from 20 march and no more text from him…I feel like these 2 messages are not enough for me to answer.. it’s too lazy…with what he did.. I need something more powerful..

Don’t know what do ? Does it mean that he wants us to be together, or he just said that without wanting us to be together and it’s  more like a random message, or just an apology message because he has some regrets or feels guilty ? It is my fault? Because of lack of intimacy ? Maybe if I didn’t become sick.. he wouldn’t leave me the first time.. I felt guilty that’s why I gave him a second chance.. when we came back together I was not sick anymore..

Should I have given him time to think about what he wants at the second break up and not blocked him of insta and WhatsApp? But at the same time I didn’t block his phone number so he never tried to call me and waited 4 month just to write an easy message with low effort ?

Many men told me it’s my fault that he left the first time because I was sick and depressed and cooked meals for me with no intimacy and it’s me that I should chase him even if he left me twice. Some men told me that I should have accepted the break the second time and that it was not a real break up because he was no sure if that’s what he wanted..So it’s my fault because there were no intimacy and that I was sick?🥺

His message when he wish me happy Eid was rhe 19 march and no more text from him.. and he will never text me again if I don’t answer to his lazy message.. what should I do.. ? I worry that he finds someone else and If I answer him, he tells me that’s too late etc…

Edit: Someone also told me this « I am not talking about you personally but just in general. When someone becomes a caregiver for any reason, they start seeing that person as a child, a problem, a patient. That is not sexy and after years, that old feeling is probably not coming back. You probably can’t fix this and neither can he. He was wrestling with his feelings for you and trying to accept that parent/child, caregiver/patient dynamic. He may well feel like he is settling for less and if he continues, this will be the rest of his life. Flip the narrative and maybe you will understand.You need to put yourself first. Let him go and move on yourself. What happened to you was not your fault. Be glad things improved. Be glad he hung around and helped with the heavy lifting, many BFs would not have stayed as long as he did. If I was dating someone who stopped working, cried every day, and just sat around the house, no sex, no fun, I would eventually leave. Wouldn’t you? I might love this person but I need a partner, not a patient. I would think of our relationship as toxic and not good for me. » do you agree 🥺?

We ve been together for 12 years, I met him when I was 21. He was my first boyfriend, first love.

The last 2 years i was in depression+ocd ( had no jobs, so I was staying at home , crying everyday, no intimacy and he cooked meals for me when he came home after his work.. I couldn’t do anything😢. But now I healed.

He left me on Valentine’s Day last year in 2025. With 0 👶🏻0💍0💒. It was horrible, I wasted my best years with him. I thought that I was an old lady and that I will end up alone. He said that he sees me like a sister and not a women he wants a future with and that he doesn’t see me as a mother ( maybe because of my depression he though I couldn’t handle being a mother..) and he came the summer telling me that he loves me , it’s me and nobody else and that he doesn’t see a future life and family without me..

He came back this summer, and left me again after 3 months during Halloween. For the second break up, he was not sure, and wanted some time to think about what he wants because he was lost blabla..

I told him that I will not give him more time to think and he should know ,we are are not in our early twenties to be like that, that he comes back and doesn’t know what he wants. So after the second break up, I blocked him on social media but not iMessage, because I Had 1% hope that maybe he will call me quickly and regret his decision, But he didn’t call me… He didn’t even try to know if he was blocked everywhere. And he wasn’t blocked everywhere.

And after 4 month, he said on iMessage in the end of February that he waited to be unblocked but it never happend, and told me that he was sorry and he misses me more than ever…

I didn’t answer and 3 weeks after his first message, he texted me again telling me « Eid Mubarak » because part of my family is Muslim, it’s like saying merry Christmas but I didn’t answer.. I dont’ know what to say.. his sex message is from 20 march and no more text from him…I feel like these 2 messages are not enough for me to answer.. it’s too lazy…with what he did.. I need something more powerful..

Don’t know what do ? Does it mean that he wants us to be together, or he just said that without wanting us to be together and it’s  more like a random message, or just an apology message because he has some regrets or feels guilty ? It is my fault? Because of lack of intimacy ? Maybe if I didn’t become sick.. he wouldn’t leave me the first time.. I felt guilty that’s why I gave him a second chance.. when we came back together I was not sick anymore..

Should I have given him time to think about what he wants at the second break up and not blocked him of insta and WhatsApp? But at the same time I didn’t block his phone number so he never tried to call me and waited 4 month just to write an easy message with low effort ?

Many men told me it’s my fault that he left the first time because I was sick and depressed and cooked meals for me with no intimacy and it’s me that I should chase him even if he left me twice. Some men told me that I should have accepted the break the second time and that it was not a real break up because he was no sure if that’s what he wanted..So it’s my fault because there were no intimacy and that I was sick?🥺

His message when he wish me happy Eid was rhe 19 march and no more text from him.. and he will never text me again if I don’t answer to his lazy message.. what should I do.. ? I worry that he finds someone else and If I answer him, he tells me that’s too late etc…

Edit: Someone also told me this « I am not talking about you personally but just in general. When someone becomes a caregiver for any reason, they start seeing that person as a child, a problem, a patient. That is not sexy and after years, that old feeling is probably not coming back. You probably can’t fix this and neither can he. He was wrestling with his feelings for you and trying to accept that parent/child, caregiver/patient dynamic. He may well feel like he is settling for less and if he continues, this will be the rest of his life. Flip the narrative and maybe you will understand.You need to put yourself first. Let him go and move on yourself. What happened to you was not your fault. Be glad things improved. Be glad he hung around and helped with the heavy lifting, many BFs would not have stayed as long as he did. If I was dating someone who stopped working, cried every day, and just sat around the house, no sex, no fun, I would eventually leave. Wouldn’t you? I might love this person but I need a partner, not a patient. I would think of our relationship as toxic and not good for me. » do you agree 🥺?

We ve been together for 12 years, I met him when I was 21. He was my first boyfriend, first love.

The last 2 years i was in depression+ocd ( had no jobs, so I was staying at home , crying everyday, no intimacy and he cooked meals for me when he came home after his work.. I couldn’t do anything😢. But now I healed.

He left me on Valentine’s Day last year in 2025. With 0 👶🏻0💍0💒. It was horrible, I wasted my best years with him. I thought that I was an old lady and that I will end up alone. He said that he sees me like a sister and not a women he wants a future with and that he doesn’t see me as a mother ( maybe because of my depression he though I couldn’t handle being a mother..) and he came the summer telling me that he loves me , it’s me and nobody else and that he doesn’t see a future life and family without me..

He came back this summer, and left me again after 3 months during Halloween. For the second break up, he was not sure, and wanted some time to think about what he wants because he was lost blabla..

I told him that I will not give him more time to think and he should know ,we are are not in our early twenties to be like that, that he comes back and doesn’t know what he wants. So after the second break up, I blocked him on social media but not iMessage, because I Had 1% hope that maybe he will call me quickly and regret his decision, But he didn’t call me… He didn’t even try to know if he was blocked everywhere. And he wasn’t blocked everywhere.

And after 4 month, he said on iMessage in the end of February that he waited to be unblocked but it never happend, and told me that he was sorry and he misses me more than ever…

I didn’t answer and 3 weeks after his first message, he texted me again telling me « Eid Mubarak » because part of my family is Muslim, it’s like saying merry Christmas but I didn’t answer.. I dont’ know what to say.. his sex message is from 20 march and no more text from him…I feel like these 2 messages are not enough for me to answer.. it’s too lazy…with what he did.. I need something more powerful..

Don’t know what do ? Does it mean that he wants us to be together, or he just said that without wanting us to be together and it’s  more like a random message, or just an apology message because he has some regrets or feels guilty ? It is my fault? Because of lack of intimacy ? Maybe if I didn’t become sick.. he wouldn’t leave me the first time.. I felt guilty that’s why I gave him a second chance.. when we came back together I was not sick anymore..

Should I have given him time to think about what he wants at the second break up and not blocked him of insta and WhatsApp? But at the same time I didn’t block his phone number so he never tried to call me and waited 4 month just to write an easy message with low effort ?

Many men told me it’s my fault that he left the first time because I was sick and depressed and cooked meals for me with no intimacy and it’s me that I should chase him even if he left me twice. Some men told me that I should have accepted the break the second time and that it was not a real break up because he was no sure if that’s what he wanted..So it’s my fault because there were no intimacy and that I was sick?🥺

His message when he wish me happy Eid was rhe 19 march and no more text from him.. and he will never text me again if I don’t answer to his lazy message.. what should I do.. ? I worry that he finds someone else and If I answer him, he tells me that’s too late etc…

Edit: Someone also told me this « I am not talking about you personally but just in general. When someone becomes a caregiver for any reason, they start seeing that person as a child, a problem, a patient. That is not sexy and after years, that old feeling is probably not coming back. You probably can’t fix this and neither can he. He was wrestling with his feelings for you and trying to accept that parent/child, caregiver/patient dynamic. He may well feel like he is settling for less and if he continues, this will be the rest of his life. Flip the narrative and maybe you will understand.You need to put yourself first. Let him go and move on yourself. What happened to you was not your fault. Be glad things improved. Be glad he hung around and helped with the heavy lifting, many BFs would not have stayed as long as he did. If I was dating someone who stopped working, cried every day, and just sat around the house, no sex, no fun, I would eventually leave. Wouldn’t you? I might love this person but I need a partner, not a patient. I would think of our relationship as toxic and not good for me. » do you agree 🥺?

Sorry for my English

So I've been with my partner for a few years, but something happened at the beginning that makes me question the sincerity of his feelings. I tried to tell myself it was just him being immature , that it wasn't a big deal, but I often think about it.

Five or six months after we got together, it was a Sunday, and I received a message from him saying, "Are you alone?" But it wasn't addressed to me... I replied, telling him he had sent it to the wrong person. I knew he was seeing friends that night, but he hadn't mentioned anything more... After that message, I couldn't sleep, so I stayed up all night. I went to class at university at 8 AM... He was there at 9 AM, and I didn't say a word to him. He ran after me, saying he had slept at a friend's home, that there was absolutely nothing and nothing had happened, that he should have told me, but for him, sleeping at a friend's house means nothing that’s just a friend.. So I replied, "Would you have liked it if I'd slept at a guy's house without telling you?" And he said that he understood my reaction, but he didn't see anything wrong with it because there was nothing wrong with that and that , this girl wasn't really his type at all, blah blah blah, but I just couldn't get over it.

During class, he kept sending me messages, saying he will not go out wish his friends anymore more, that he loved me, etc. At the end of the day, he waited for me so we could go home together and take the metro, but I didn't talk. I was too upset and angry, and I couldn't speak. I should have communicated, but I couldn't.

Then he got off at his station and said goodbye. A minute or two later, he called me, broke up with on the phone and called me saying it was over because that I didn't trust him and that we had nothing to do together if I didn't trust him, that he hadn't done anything wrong, that there was absolutely nothing with this woman.. I couldn't believe my eyes, he turned the situation around completely, and I was the one who had to tell him, "How you're leaving me? Wait, let’s meet at your station . Yes It was a naive mistake, I know. When we met at his station, he apologized, blah blah blah... Later, he told me he did it because he thought I was going to leave him, so he took the initiative... that it was a ruse to to make me come to his station that if I hadn't met him, he would have felt so bad and ddidnt know what he would have done.

When I asked him about it again a few months later, he said it could have been the biggest regret of his life, that he'd taken a huge gamble to see if I was in in love with him and if I really loved him... The whole gamble, making sure I loved him , it really bothers me. A few years later, I talked about it again and he said, "Oh, you're still thinking about that? It's in the past, it's nothing. Why are you thinking about that moment again?"

It's been years now and I don't know why I can't forget. Let's assume he didn't cheat on me and that there was nothing wrong, but he still manipulate the whole situation the situation and took the risk of losing me, even though the first few months are supposed to be the honeymoon phase. you don't take that risk if you're truly in love with someone ...

His ex before cheated on him a lot and left him for another guy, so maybe... he was insecure and wanted to make sure I loved him out of fear? But I keep telling myself that a man in love doesn't do that... and that if he messed up, even if there was nothing with his friend, he shouldn't have reacted the way he did, he wanted to test me and I don't like that. And I even wonder if he didn't send me that message on purpose to test me, and maybe he sent it to me to see my reaction ... I'll never know. When I talk about it, he just laughs...

I talked to some friends who tell me that I exagerate, that we've been together for a long time, etc., that I should move on...

But for me , a man can stay long time without being in love. Maybe he likes having a loyal, kind, faithful girlfriend after being cheated on so many times, and maybe I'm a kind of his safety ...

Because I could never have taken the risk of losing him, but he took the risk. I'd like to know your opinions, thank you... Is his behavior the behavior of a man in love or not? I would like some male opinions on his behavior, am I exaggerating?

We ve been together for 12 years, I met him when I was 21. He was my first boyfriend, first love.

The last 2 years i was in depression+ocd ( had no jobs, so I was staying at home , crying everyday, no intimacy and he cooked meals for me when he came home after his work.. I couldn’t do anything😢. But now I healed.

He left me on Valentine’s Day last year in 2025. With 0 👶🏻0💍0💒. It was horrible, I wasted my best years with him. I thought that I was an old lady and that I will end up alone. He said that he sees me like a sister and not a women he wants a future with and that he doesn’t see me as a mother ( maybe because of my depression he though I couldn’t handle being a mother..) and he came the summer telling me that he loves me , it’s me and nobody else and that he doesn’t see a future life and family without me..

He came back this summer, and left me again after 3 months during Halloween. For the second break up, he was not sure, and wanted some time to think about what he wants because he was lost blabla..

I told him that I will not give him more time to think and he should know ,we are are not in our early twenties to be like that, that he comes back and doesn’t know what he wants. So after the second break up, I blocked him on social media but not iMessage, because I Had 1% hope that maybe he will call me quickly and regret his decision, But he didn’t call me… He didn’t even try to know if he was blocked everywhere. And he wasn’t blocked everywhere.

And after 4 month, he said on iMessage in the end of February that he waited to be unblocked but it never happend, and told me that he was sorry and he misses me more than ever…

I didn’t answer and 3 weeks after his first message, he texted me again telling me « Eid Mubarak » because part of my family is Muslim, it’s like saying merry Christmas but I didn’t answer.. I dont’ know what to say.. his sex message is from 20 march and no more text from him…I feel like these 2 messages are not enough for me to answer.. it’s too lazy…with what he did.. I need something more powerful..

Don’t know what do ? Does it mean that he wants us to be together, or he just said that without wanting us to be together and it’s  more like a random message, or just an apology message because he has some regrets or feels guilty ? It is my fault? Because of lack of intimacy ? Maybe if I didn’t become sick.. he wouldn’t leave me the first time.. I felt guilty that’s why I gave him a second chance.. when we came back together I was not sick anymore..

Should I have given him time to think about what he wants at the second break up and not blocked him of insta and WhatsApp? But at the same time I didn’t block his phone number so he never tried to call me and waited 4 month just to write an easy message with low effort ?

Many men told me it’s my fault that he left the first time because I was sick and depressed and cooked meals for me with no intimacy and it’s me that I should chase him even if he left me twice. Some men told me that I should have accepted the break the second time and that it was not a real break up because he was no sure if that’s what he wanted..So it’s my fault because there were no intimacy and that I was sick?🥺

His message when he wish me happy Eid was rhe 19 march and no more text from him.. and he will never text me again if I don’t answer to his lazy message.. what should I do.. ?

Edit: Someone also told me this « I am not talking about you personally but just in general. When someone becomes a caregiver for any reason, they start seeing that person as a child, a problem, a patient. That is not sexy and after years, that old feeling is probably not coming back. You probably can’t fix this and neither can he. He was wrestling with his feelings for you and trying to accept that parent/child, caregiver/patient dynamic. He may well feel like he is settling for less and if he continues, this will be the rest of his life. Flip the narrative and maybe you will understand.You need to put yourself first. Let him go and move on yourself. What happened to you was not your fault. Be glad things improved. Be glad he hung around and helped with the heavy lifting, many BFs would not have stayed as long as he did. If I was dating someone who stopped working, cried every day, and just sat around the house, no sex, no fun, I would eventually leave. Wouldn’t you? I might love this person but I need a partner, not a patient. I would think of our relationship as toxic and not good for me. » do you agree 🥺?

We ve been together for 12 years, I met him when I was 21. He was my first boyfriend, first love.

The last 2 years i was in depression+ocd ( had no jobs, so I was staying at home , crying everyday, no intimacy and he cooked meals for me when he came home after his work.. I couldn’t do anything😢. But now I healed.

He left me on Valentine’s Day last year in 2025. With 0 👶🏻0💍0💒. It was horrible, I wasted my best years with him. I thought that I was an old lady and that I will end up alone. He said that he sees me like a sister and not a women he wants a future with and that he doesn’t see me as a mother ( maybe because of my depression he though I couldn’t handle being a mother..) and he came the summer telling me that he loves me , it’s me and nobody else and that he doesn’t see a future life and family without me..

He came back this summer, and left me again after 3 months during Halloween. For the second break up, he was not sure, and wanted some time to think about what he wants because he was lost blabla..

I told him that I will not give him more time to think and he should know ,we are are not in our early twenties to be like that, that he comes back and doesn’t know what he wants. So after the second break up, I blocked him on social media but not iMessage, because I Had 1% hope that maybe he will call me quickly and regret his decision, But he didn’t call me… He didn’t even try to know if he was blocked everywhere. And he wasn’t blocked everywhere.

And after 4 month, he said on iMessage in the end of February that he waited to be unblocked but it never happend, and told me that he was sorry and he misses me more than ever…

I didn’t answer and 3 weeks after his first message, he texted me again telling me « Eid Mubarak » because part of my family is Muslim, it’s like saying merry Christmas but I didn’t answer.. I dont’ know what to say.. his sex message is from 20 march and no more text from him…I feel like these 2 messages are not enough for me to answer.. it’s too lazy…with what he did.. I need something more powerful..

Don’t know what do ? Does it mean that he wants us to be together, or he just said that without wanting us to be together and it’s  more like a random message, or just an apology message because he has some regrets or feels guilty ? It is my fault? Because of lack of intimacy ? Maybe if I didn’t become sick.. he wouldn’t leave me the first time.. I felt guilty that’s why I gave him a second chance.. when we came back together I was not sick anymore..

Should I have given him time to think about what he wants at the second break up and not blocked him of insta and WhatsApp? But at the same time I didn’t block his phone number so he never tried to call me and waited 4 month just to write an easy message with low effort ?

Many men told me it’s my fault that he left the first time because I was sick and depressed and cooked meals for me with no intimacy and it’s me that I should chase him even if he left me twice. Some men told me that I should have accepted the break the second time and that it was not a real break up because he was no sure if that’s what he wanted..So it’s my fault because there were no intimacy and that I was sick?🥺

His message when he wish me happy Eid was rhe 19 march and no more text from him.. and he will never text me again if I don’t answer to his lazy message.. what should I do.. ?

Edit: Someone also told me this « I am not talking about you personally but just in general. When someone becomes a caregiver for any reason, they start seeing that person as a child, a problem, a patient. That is not sexy and after years, that old feeling is probably not coming back. You probably can’t fix this and neither can he. He was wrestling with his feelings for you and trying to accept that parent/child, caregiver/patient dynamic. He may well feel like he is settling for less and if he continues, this will be the rest of his life. Flip the narrative and maybe you will understand.You need to put yourself first. Let him go and move on yourself. What happened to you was not your fault. Be glad things improved. Be glad he hung around and helped with the heavy lifting, many BFs would not have stayed as long as he did. If I was dating someone who stopped working, cried every day, and just sat around the house, no sex, no fun, I would eventually leave. Wouldn’t you? I might love this person but I need a partner, not a patient. I would think of our relationship as toxic and not good for me. » do you agree 🥺?

Sorry for my English

So I've been with my partner for a few years, but something happened at the beginning that makes me question the sincerity of his feelings. I tried to tell myself it was just him being immature , that it wasn't a big deal, but I often think about it.

Five or six months after we got together, it was a Sunday, and I received a message from him saying, "Are you alone?" But it wasn't addressed to me... I replied, telling him he had sent it to the wrong person. I knew he was seeing friends that night, but he hadn't mentioned anything more... After that message, I couldn't sleep, so I stayed up all night. I went to class at university at 8 AM... He was there at 9 AM, and I didn't say a word to him. He ran after me, saying he had slept at a friend's home, that there was absolutely nothing and nothing had happened, that he should have told me, but for him, sleeping at a friend's house means nothing that’s just a friend.. So I replied, "Would you have liked it if I'd slept at a guy's house without telling you?" And he said that he understood my reaction, but he didn't see anything wrong with it because there was nothing wrong with that and that , this girl wasn't really his type at all, blah blah blah, but I just couldn't get over it.

During class, he kept sending me messages, saying he will not go out wish his friends anymore more, that he loved me, etc. At the end of the day, he waited for me so we could go home together and take the metro, but I didn't talk. I was too upset and angry, and I couldn't speak. I should have communicated, but I couldn't.

Then he got off at his station and said goodbye. A minute or two later, he called me, broke up with on the phone and called me saying it was over because that I didn't trust him and that we had nothing to do together if I didn't trust him, that he hadn't done anything wrong, that there was absolutely nothing with this woman.. I couldn't believe my eyes, he turned the situation around completely, and I was the one who had to tell him, "How you're leaving me? Wait, let’s meet at your station . Yes It was a naive mistake, I know. When we met at his station, he apologized, blah blah blah... Later, he told me he did it because he thought I was going to leave him, so he took the initiative... that it was a ruse to to make me come to his station that if I hadn't met him, he would have felt so bad and ddidnt know what he would have done.

When I asked him about it again a few months later, he said it could have been the biggest regret of his life, that he'd taken a huge gamble to see if I was in in love with him and if I really loved him... The whole gamble, making sure I loved him , it really bothers me. A few years later, I talked about it again and he said, "Oh, you're still thinking about that? It's in the past, it's nothing. Why are you thinking about that moment again?"

It's been years now and I don't know why I can't forget. Let's assume he didn't cheat on me and that there was nothing wrong, but he still manipulate the whole situation the situation and took the risk of losing me, even though the first few months are supposed to be the honeymoon phase. you don't take that risk if you're truly in love with someone ...

His ex before cheated on him a lot and left him for another guy, so maybe... he was insecure and wanted to make sure I loved him out of fear? But I keep telling myself that a man in love doesn't do that... and that if he messed up, even if there was nothing with his friend, he shouldn't have reacted the way he did, he wanted to test me and I don't like that. And I even wonder if he didn't send me that message on purpose to test me, and maybe he sent it to me to see my reaction ... I'll never know. When I talk about it, he just laughs...

I talked to some friends who tell me that I exagerate, that we've been together for a long time, etc., that I should move on...

But for me , a man can stay long time without being in love. Maybe he likes having a loyal, kind, faithful girlfriend after being cheated on so many times, and maybe I'm a kind of his safety ...

Because I could never have taken the risk of losing him, but he took the risk. I'd like to know your opinions, thank you... Is his behavior the behavior of a man in love or not? I would like some male opinions on his behavior, am I exaggerating?

We ve been together for 12 years, I met him when I was 21. He was my first boyfriend, first love.

The last 2 years i was in depression+ocd ( had no jobs, so I was staying at home , crying everyday, no intimacy and he cooked meals for me when he came home after his work.. I couldn’t do anything😢. But now I healed.

He left me on Valentine’s Day last year in 2025. With 0 👶🏻0💍0💒. It was horrible, I wasted my best years with him. I thought that I was an old lady and that I will end up alone. He said that he sees me like a sister and not a women he wants a future with and that he doesn’t see me as a mother ( maybe because of my depression he though I couldn’t handle being a mother..) and he came the summer telling me that he loves me , it’s me and nobody else and that he doesn’t see a future life and family without me..

He came back this summer, and left me again after 3 months during Halloween. For the second break up, he was not sure, and wanted some time to think about what he wants because he was lost blabla..

I told him that I will not give him more time to think and he should know ,we are are not in our early twenties to be like that, that he comes back and doesn’t know what he wants. So after the second break up, I blocked him on social media but not iMessage, because I Had 1% hope that maybe he will call me quickly and regret his decision, But he didn’t call me… He didn’t even try to know if he was blocked everywhere. And he wasn’t blocked everywhere.

And after 4 month, he said on iMessage in the end of February that he waited to be unblocked but it never happend, and told me that he was sorry and he misses me more than ever…

I didn’t answer and 3 weeks after his first message, he texted me again telling me « Eid Mubarak » because part of my family is Muslim, it’s like saying merry Christmas but I didn’t answer.. I dont’ know what to say.. his sex message is from 20 march and no more text from him…I feel like these 2 messages are not enough for me to answer.. it’s too lazy…with what he did.. I need something more powerful..

Don’t know what do ? Does it mean that he wants us to be together, or he just said that without wanting us to be together and it’s  more like a random message, or just an apology message because he has some regrets or feels guilty ? It is my fault? Because of lack of intimacy ? Maybe if I didn’t become sick.. he wouldn’t leave me the first time.. I felt guilty that’s why I gave him a second chance.. when we came back together I was not sick anymore..

Should I have given him time to think about what he wants at the second break up and not blocked him of insta and WhatsApp? But at the same time I didn’t block his phone number so he never tried to call me and waited 4 month just to write an easy message with low effort ?

Many men told me it’s my fault that he left the first time because I was sick and depressed and cooked meals for me with no intimacy and it’s me that I should chase him even if he left me twice. Some men told me that I should have accepted the break the second time and that it was not a real break up because he was no sure if that’s what he wanted..So it’s my fault because there were no intimacy and that I was sick?🥺

His message when he wish me happy Eid was rhe 19 march and no more text from him.. and he will never text me again if I don’t answer to his lazy message.. what should I do.. ?

Edit: Someone also told me this « I am not talking about you personally but just in general. When someone becomes a caregiver for any reason, they start seeing that person as a child, a problem, a patient. That is not sexy and after years, that old feeling is probably not coming back. You probably can’t fix this and neither can he. He was wrestling with his feelings for you and trying to accept that parent/child, caregiver/patient dynamic. He may well feel like he is settling for less and if he continues, this will be the rest of his life. Flip the narrative and maybe you will understand.You need to put yourself first. Let him go and move on yourself. What happened to you was not your fault. Be glad things improved. Be glad he hung around and helped with the heavy lifting, many BFs would not have stayed as long as he did. If I was dating someone who stopped working, cried every day, and just sat around the house, no sex, no fun, I would eventually leave. Wouldn’t you? I might love this person but I need a partner, not a patient. I would think of our relationship as toxic and not good for me. » do you agree 🥺?

Sorry for my English

So I've been with my partner for a few years, but something happened at the beginning that makes me question the sincerity of his feelings. I tried to tell myself it was just him being immature , that it wasn't a big deal, but I often think about it.

Five or six months after we got together, it was a Sunday, and I received a message from him saying, "Are you alone?" But it wasn't addressed to me... I replied, telling him he had sent it to the wrong person. I knew he was seeing friends that night, but he hadn't mentioned anything more... After that message, I couldn't sleep, so I stayed up all night. I went to class at university at 8 AM... He was there at 9 AM, and I didn't say a word to him. He ran after me, saying he had slept at a friend's home, that there was absolutely nothing and nothing had happened, that he should have told me, but for him, sleeping at a friend's house means nothing that’s just a friend.. So I replied, "Would you have liked it if I'd slept at a guy's house without telling you?" And he said that he understood my reaction, but he didn't see anything wrong with it because there was nothing wrong with that and that , this girl wasn't really his type at all, blah blah blah, but I just couldn't get over it.

During class, he kept sending me messages, saying he will not go out wish his friends anymore more, that he loved me, etc. At the end of the day, he waited for me so we could go home together and take the metro, but I didn't talk. I was too upset and angry, and I couldn't speak. I should have communicated, but I couldn't.

Then he got off at his station and said goodbye. A minute or two later, he called me, broke up with on the phone and called me saying it was over because that I didn't trust him and that we had nothing to do together if I didn't trust him, that he hadn't done anything wrong, that there was absolutely nothing with this woman.. I couldn't believe my eyes, he turned the situation around completely, and I was the one who had to tell him, "How you're leaving me? Wait, let’s meet at your station . Yes It was a naive mistake, I know. When we met at his station, he apologized, blah blah blah... Later, he told me he did it because he thought I was going to leave him, so he took the initiative... that it was a ruse to to make me come to his station that if I hadn't met him, he would have felt so bad and ddidnt know what he would have done.

When I asked him about it again a few months later, he said it could have been the biggest regret of his life, that he'd taken a huge gamble to see if I was in in love with him and if I really loved him... The whole gamble, making sure I loved him , it really bothers me. A few years later, I talked about it again and he said, "Oh, you're still thinking about that? It's in the past, it's nothing. Why are you thinking about that moment again?"

It's been years now and I don't know why I can't forget. Let's assume he didn't cheat on me and that there was nothing wrong, but he still manipulate the whole situation the situation and took the risk of losing me, even though the first few months are supposed to be the honeymoon phase. you don't take that risk if you're truly in love with someone ...

His ex before cheated on him a lot and left him for another guy, so maybe... he was insecure and wanted to make sure I loved him out of fear? But I keep telling myself that a man in love doesn't do that... and that if he messed up, even if there was nothing with his friend, he shouldn't have reacted the way he did, he wanted to test me and I don't like that. And I even wonder if he didn't send me that message on purpose to test me, and maybe he sent it to me to see my reaction ... I'll never know. When I talk about it, he just laughs...

I talked to some friends who tell me that I exagerate, that we've been together for a long time, etc., that I should move on...

But for me , a man can stay long time without being in love. Maybe he likes having a loyal, kind, faithful girlfriend after being cheated on so many times, and maybe I'm a kind of his safety ...

Because I could never have taken the risk of losing him, but he took the risk. I'd like to know your opinions, thank you... Is his behavior the behavior of a man in love or not? I would like some male opinions on his behavior, am I exaggerating?

Sorry for my English

So I've been with my partner for a few years, but something happened at the beginning that makes me question the sincerity of his feelings. I tried to tell myself it was just him being immature , that it wasn't a big deal, but I often think about it.

Five or six months after we got together, it was a Sunday, and I received a message from him saying, "Are you alone?" But it wasn't addressed to me... I replied, telling him he had sent it to the wrong person. I knew he was seeing friends that night, but he hadn't mentioned anything more... After that message, I couldn't sleep, so I stayed up all night. I went to class at university at 8 AM... He was there at 9 AM, and I didn't say a word to him. He ran after me, saying he had slept at a friend's home, that there was absolutely nothing and nothing had happened, that he should have told me, but for him, sleeping at a friend's house means nothing that’s just a friend.. So I replied, "Would you have liked it if I'd slept at a guy's house without telling you?" And he said that he understood my reaction, but he didn't see anything wrong with it because there was nothing wrong with that and that , this girl wasn't really his type at all, blah blah blah, but I just couldn't get over it.

During class, he kept sending me messages, saying he will not go out wish his friends anymore more, that he loved me, etc. At the end of the day, he waited for me so we could go home together and take the metro, but I didn't talk. I was too upset and angry, and I couldn't speak. I should have communicated, but I couldn't.

Then he got off at his station and said goodbye. A minute or two later, he called me, broke up with on the phone me saying it was over because that I didn't trust him and that we had nothing to do together if I didn't trust him, that he hadn't done anything wrong, that there was absolutely nothing with this woman.. I couldn't believe my eyes, he turned the situation around completely, and I was the one who had to tell him, "How you're leaving me? Wait, let’s meet at your station . Yes It was a naive mistake, I know. When we met at his station, he apologized, blah blah blah... Later, he told me he did it because he thought I was going to leave him, so he took the initiative... that it was a ruse to to make me come to his station that if I hadn't met him, he would have felt so bad and ddidnt know what he would have done.

When I asked him about it again a few months later, he said it could have been the biggest regret of his life, that he'd taken a huge gamble to see if I was in in love with him and if I really loved him... The whole gamble, making sure I loved him , it really bothers me. A few years later, I talked about it again and he said, "Oh, you're still thinking about that? It's in the past, it's nothing. Why are you thinking about that moment again?"

It's been years now and I don't know why I can't forget. Let's assume he didn't cheat on me and that there was nothing wrong, but he still manipulate the whole situation the situation and took the risk of losing me, even though the first few months are supposed to be the honeymoon phase. you don't take that risk if you're truly in love with someone ...

His ex before cheated on him a lot and left him for another guy, so maybe... he was insecure and wanted to make sure I loved him out of fear? But I keep telling myself that a man in love doesn't do that... and that if he messed up, even if there was nothing with his friend, he shouldn't have reacted the way he did, he wanted to test me and I don't like that. And I even wonder if he didn't send me that message on purpose to test me, and maybe he sent it to me to see my reaction ... I'll never know. When I talk about it, he just laughs...

I talked to some friends who tell me that I exagerate, that we've been together for a long time, etc., that I should move on...

But for me , a man can stay long time without being in love. Maybe he likes having a loyal, kind, faithful girlfriend after being cheated on so many times, and maybe I'm a kind of his safety ...

Because I could never have taken the risk of losing him, but he took the risk. I'd like to know your opinions, thank you... Is his behavior the behavior of a man in love or not? I would like some male opinions on his behavior, am I exaggerating?

Sorry for my English

So I've been with my partner for a few years, but something happened at the beginning that makes me question the sincerity of his feelings. I tried to tell myself it was just him being immature , that it wasn't a big deal, but I often think about it.

Five or six months after we got together, it was a Sunday, and I received a message from him saying, "Are you alone?" But it wasn't addressed to me... I replied, telling him he had sent it to the wrong person. I knew he was seeing friends that night, but he hadn't mentioned anything more... After that message, I couldn't sleep, so I stayed up all night. I went to class at university at 8 AM... He was there at 9 AM, and I didn't say a word to him. He ran after me, saying he had slept at a friend's home, that there was absolutely nothing and nothing had happened, that he should have told me, but for him, sleeping at a friend's house means nothing that’s just a friend.. So I replied, "Would you have liked it if I'd slept at a guy's house without telling you?" And he said that he understood my reaction, but he didn't see anything wrong with it because there was nothing wrong with that and that , this girl wasn't really his type at all, blah blah blah, but I just couldn't get over it.

During class, he kept sending me messages, saying he will not go out wish his friends anymore more, that he loved me, etc. At the end of the day, he waited for me so we could go home together and take the metro, but I didn't talk. I was too upset and angry, and I couldn't speak. I should have communicated, but I couldn't.

Then he got off at his station and said goodbye. A minute or two later, he called me, broke up with on the phone me saying it was over because that I didn't trust him and that we had nothing to do together if I didn't trust him, that he hadn't done anything wrong, that there was absolutely nothing with this woman.. I couldn't believe my eyes, he turned the situation around completely, and I was the one who had to tell him, "How you're leaving me? Wait, let’s meet at your station . Yes It was a naive mistake, I know. When we met at his station, he apologized, blah blah blah... Later, he told me he did it because he thought I was going to leave him, so he took the initiative... that it was a ruse to to make me come to his station that if I hadn't met him, he would have felt so bad and ddidnt know what he would have done.

When I asked him about it again a few months later, he said it could have been the biggest regret of his life, that he'd taken a huge gamble to see if I was in in love with him and if I really loved him... The whole gamble, making sure I loved him , it really bothers me. A few years later, I talked about it again and he said, "Oh, you're still thinking about that? It's in the past, it's nothing. Why are you thinking about that moment again?"

It's been years now and I don't know why I can't forget. Let's assume he didn't cheat on me and that there was nothing wrong, but he still manipulate the whole situation the situation and took the risk of losing me, even though the first few months are supposed to be the honeymoon phase. you don't take that risk if you're truly in love with someone ...

His ex before cheated on him a lot and left him for another guy, so maybe... he was insecure and wanted to make sure I loved him out of fear? But I keep telling myself that a man in love doesn't do that... and that if he messed up, even if there was nothing with his friend, he shouldn't have reacted the way he did, he wanted to test me and I don't like that. And I even wonder if he didn't send me that message on purpose to test me, and maybe he sent it to me to see my reaction ... I'll never know. When I talk about it, he just laughs...

I talked to some friends who tell me that I exagerate, that we've been together for a long time, etc., that I should move on...

But for me , a man can stay long time without being in love. Maybe he likes having a loyal, kind, faithful girlfriend after being cheated on so many times, and maybe I'm a kind of his safety ...

Because I could never have taken the risk of losing him, but he took the risk. I'd like to know your opinions, thank you... Is his behavior the behavior of a man in love or not? I would like some male opinions on his behavior, am I exaggerating?

Sorry for my English

So I've been with my partner for a few years, but something happened at the beginning that makes me question the sincerity of his feelings. I tried to tell myself it was just him being immature , that it wasn't a big deal, but I often think about it.

Five or six months after we got together, it was a Sunday, and I received a message from him saying, "Are you alone?" But it wasn't addressed to me... I replied, telling him he had sent it to the wrong person. I knew he was seeing friends that night, but he hadn't mentioned anything more... After that message, I couldn't sleep, so I stayed up all night. I went to class at university at 8 AM... He was there at 9 AM, and I didn't say a word to him. He ran after me, saying he had slept at a friend's home, that there was absolutely nothing and nothing had happened, that he should have told me, but for him, sleeping at a friend's house means nothing that’s just a friend.. So I replied, "Would you have liked it if I'd slept at a guy's house without telling you?" And he said that he understood my reaction, but he didn't see anything wrong with it because there was nothing wrong with that and that , this girl wasn't really his type at all, blah blah blah, but I just couldn't get over it.

During class, he kept sending me messages, saying he will not go out wish his friends anymore more, that he loved me, etc. At the end of the day, he waited for me so we could go home together and take the metro, but I didn't talk. I was too upset and angry, and I couldn't speak. I should have communicated, but I couldn't.

Then he got off at his station and said goodbye. A minute or two later, he called me, broke up with on the phone me saying it was over because that I didn't trust him and that we had nothing to do together if I didn't trust him, that he hadn't done anything wrong, that there was absolutely nothing with this woman.. I couldn't believe my eyes, he turned the situation around completely, and I was the one who had to tell him, "How you're leaving me? Wait, let’s meet at your station . Yes It was a naive mistake, I know. When we met at his station, he apologized, blah blah blah... Later, he told me he did it because he thought I was going to leave him, so he took the initiative... that it was a ruse to to make me come to his station that if I hadn't met him, he would have felt so bad and ddidnt know what he would have done.

When I asked him about it again a few months later, he said it could have been the biggest regret of his life, that he'd taken a huge gamble to see if I was in in love with him and if I really loved him... The whole gamble, making sure I loved him , it really bothers me. A few years later, I talked about it again and he said, "Oh, you're still thinking about that? It's in the past, it's nothing. Why are you thinking about that moment again?"

It's been years now and I don't know why I can't forget. Let's assume he didn't cheat on me and that there was nothing wrong, but he still manipulate the whole situation the situation and took the risk of losing me, even though the first few months are supposed to be the honeymoon phase. you don't take that risk if you're truly in love with someone ...

His ex before cheated on him a lot and left him for another guy, so maybe... he was insecure and wanted to make sure I loved him out of fear? But I keep telling myself that a man in love doesn't do that... and that if he messed up, even if there was nothing with his friend, he shouldn't have reacted the way he did, he wanted to test me and I don't like that. And I even wonder if he didn't send me that message on purpose to test me, and maybe he sent it to me to see my reaction ... I'll never know. When I talk about it, he just laughs...

I talked to some friends who tell me that I exagerate, that we've been together for a long time, etc., that I should move on...

But for me , a man can stay long time without being in love. Maybe he likes having a loyal, kind, faithful girlfriend after being cheated on so many times, and maybe I'm a kind of his safety ...

Because I could never have taken the risk of losing him, but he took the risk. I'd like to know your opinions, thank you... Is his behavior the behavior of a man in love or not? I would like some male opinions on his behavior, am I exaggerating?

We ve been together for 12 years, I met him when I was 21. He was my first boyfriend, first love.

The last 2 years i was in depression+ocd ( had no jobs, so I was staying at home , crying everyday, no intimacy and he cooked meals for me when he came home after his work.. I couldn’t do anything😢. But now I healed.

He left me on Valentine’s Day last year in 2025. With 0 👶🏻0💍0💒. It was horrible, I wasted my best years with him. I thought that I was an old lady and that I will end up alone. He said that he sees me like a sister and not a women he wants a future with and that he doesn’t see me as a mother ( maybe because of my depression he though I couldn’t handle being a mother..) and he came the summer telling me that he loves me , it’s me and nobody else and that he doesn’t see a future life and family without me..

He came back this summer, and left me again after 3 months during Halloween. For the second break up, he was not sure, and wanted some time to think about what he wants because he was lost blabla..

I told him that I will not give him more time to think and he should know ,we are are not in our early twenties to be like that, that he comes back and doesn’t know what he wants. So after the second break up, I blocked him on social media but not iMessage, because I Had 1% hope that maybe he will call me quickly and regret his decision, But he didn’t call me… He didn’t even try to know if he was blocked everywhere. And he wasn’t blocked everywhere.

And after 4 month, he said on iMessage in the end of February that he waited to be unblocked but it never happend, and told me that he was sorry and he misses me more than ever…

I didn’t answer and 3 weeks after his first message, he texted me again telling me « Eid Mubarak » because part of my family is Muslim, it’s like saying merry Christmas but I didn’t answer.. I dont’ know what to say.. his sex message is from 20 march and no more text from him…I feel like these 2 messages are not enough for me to answer.. it’s too lazy…with what he did.. I need something more powerful..

Don’t know what do ? Does it mean that he wants us to be together, or he just said that without wanting us to be together and it’s  more like a random message, or just an apology message because he has some regrets or feels guilty ? It is my fault? Because of lack of intimacy ? Maybe if I didn’t become sick.. he wouldn’t leave me the first time.. I felt guilty that’s why I gave him a second chance.. when we came back together I was not sick anymore..

Should I have given him time to think about what he wants at the second break up and not blocked him of insta and WhatsApp? But at the same time I didn’t block his phone number so he never tried to call me and waited 4 month just to write an easy message with low effort ?

Many men told me it’s my fault that he left the first time because I was sick and depressed and cooked meals for me with no intimacy and it’s me that I should chase him even if he left me twice. Some men told me that I should have accepted the break the second time and that it was not a real break up because he was no sure if that’s what he wanted..So it’s my fault because there were no intimacy and that I was sick?🥺

His message when he wish me happy Eid was rhe 19 march and no more text from him.. and he will never text me again if I don’t answer to his lazy message.. what should I do.. ?

Edit: Someone also told me this « I am not talking about you personally but just in general. When someone becomes a caregiver for any reason, they start seeing that person as a child, a problem, a patient. That is not sexy and after years, that old feeling is probably not coming back. You probably can’t fix this and neither can he. He was wrestling with his feelings for you and trying to accept that parent/child, caregiver/patient dynamic. He may well feel like he is settling for less and if he continues, this will be the rest of his life. Flip the narrative and maybe you will understand.You need to put yourself first. Let him go and move on yourself. What happened to you was not your fault. Be glad things improved. Be glad he hung around and helped with the heavy lifting, many BFs would not have stayed as long as he did. If I was dating someone who stopped working, cried every day, and just sat around the house, no sex, no fun, I would eventually leave. Wouldn’t you? I might love this person but I need a partner, not a patient. I would think of our relationship as toxic and not good for me. » do you agree 🥺?

We ve been together for 12 years, I met him when I was 21. He was my first boyfriend, first love.

The last 2 years i was in depression+ocd ( had no jobs, so I was staying at home , crying everyday, no intimacy and he cooked meals for me when he came home after his work.. I couldn’t do anything😢. But now I healed.

He left me on Valentine’s Day last year in 2025. With 0 👶🏻0💍0💒. It was horrible, I wasted my best years with him. I thought that I was an old lady and that I will end up alone. He said that he sees me like a sister and not a women he wants a future with and that he doesn’t see me as a mother ( maybe because of my depression he though I couldn’t handle being a mother..) and he came the summer telling me that he loves me , it’s me and nobody else and that he doesn’t see a future life and family without me..

He came back this summer, and left me again after 3 months during Halloween. For the second break up, he was not sure, and wanted some time to think about what he wants because he was lost blabla..

I told him that I will not give him more time to think and he should know ,we are are not in our early twenties to be like that, that he comes back and doesn’t know what he wants. So after the second break up, I blocked him on social media but not iMessage, because I Had 1% hope that maybe he will call me quickly and regret his decision, But he didn’t call me… He didn’t even try to know if he was blocked everywhere. And he wasn’t blocked everywhere.

And after 4 month, he said on iMessage in the end of February that he waited to be unblocked but it never happend, and told me that he was sorry and he misses me more than ever…

I didn’t answer and 3 weeks after his first message, he texted me again telling me « Eid Mubarak » because part of my family is Muslim, it’s like saying merry Christmas but I didn’t answer.. I dont’ know what to say.. his sex message is from 20 march and no more text from him…

I feel like these 2 messages are not enough for me to answer.. it’s too lazy…with what he did.. I need something more powerful..

Don’t know what do ? Does it mean that he wants us to be together, or he just said that without wanting us to be together and it’s  more like a random message, or just an apology message because he has some regrets or feels guilty ? Thanks a lot

It is my fault? Because of lack of intimacy ? Maybe if I didn’t become sick.. he wouldn’t leave me the first time.. I felt guilty that’s why I gave him a second chance.. when we came back together I was not sick anymore..

Should I have given him time to think about what he wants at the second break up and not blocked him of insta and WhatsApp? But at the same time I didn’t block his phone number so he never tried to call me and waited 4 month just to write an easy message with low effort ?

Many men told me it’s my fault that he left the first time because I was sick and depressed and cooked meals for me with no intimacy and it’s me that I should chase him even if he left me twice. Some men told me that I should have accepted the break the second time and that it was not a real break up because he was no sure if that’s what he wanted..

So it’s my fault because there were no intimacy and that I was sick?🥺

His message when he wish me happy Eid was rhe 19 march and no more text from him.. and he will never text me again if I don’t answer to his lazy message.. what should I do..

We ve been together for 12 years, I met him when I was 21. He was my first boyfriend, first love.

The last 2 years i was in depression+ocd ( had no jobs, so I was staying at home , crying everyday, no intimacy and he cooked meals for me when he came home after his work.. I couldn’t do anything😢. But now I healed.

He left me on Valentine’s Day last year in 2025. With 0 👶🏻0💍0💒. It was horrible, I wasted my best years with him. I thought that I was an old lady and that I will end up alone. He said that he sees me like a sister and not a women he wants a future with and that he doesn’t see me as a mother ( maybe because of my depression he though I couldn’t handle being a mother..) and he came the summer telling me that he loves me , it’s me and nobody else and that he doesn’t see a future life and family without me..

He came back this summer, and left me again after 3 months during Halloween. For the second break up, he was not sure, and wanted some time to think about what he wants because he was lost blabla..

I told him that I will not give him more time to think and he should know ,we are are not in our early twenties to be like that, that he comes back and doesn’t know what he wants. So after the second break up, I blocked him on social media but not iMessage, because I Had 1% hope that maybe he will call me quickly and regret his decision, But he didn’t call me… He didn’t even try to know if he was blocked everywhere. And he wasn’t blocked everywhere.

And after 4 month, he said on iMessage in the end of February that he waited to be unblocked but it never happend, and told me that he was sorry and he misses me more than ever…

I didn’t answer and 3 weeks after his first message, he texted me again telling me « Eid Mubarak » because part of my family is Muslim, it’s like saying merry Christmas but I didn’t answer.. I dont’ know what to say.. his sex message is from 20 march and no more text from him…

I feel like these 2 messages are not enough for me to answer.. it’s too lazy…with what he did.. I need something more powerful..

Don’t know what do ? Does it mean that he wants us to be together, or he just said that without wanting us to be together and it’s  more like a random message, or just an apology message because he has some regrets or feels guilty ? Thanks a lot

It is my fault? Because of lack of intimacy ? Maybe if I didn’t become sick.. he wouldn’t leave me the first time.. I felt guilty that’s why I gave him a second chance.. when we came back together I was not sick anymore..

Should I have given him time to think about what he wants at the second break up and not blocked him of insta and WhatsApp? But at the same time I didn’t block his phone number so he never tried to call me and waited 4 month just to write an easy message with low effort ?

Many men told me it’s my fault that he left the first time because I was sick and depressed and cooked meals for me with no intimacy and it’s me that I should chase him even if he left me twice. Some men told me that I should have accepted the break the second time and that it was not a real break up because he was no sure if that’s what he wanted..

So it’s my fault because there were no intimacy and that I was sick?🥺

His message when he wish me happy Eid was rhe 19 march and no more text from him.. and he will never text me again if I don’t answer to his lazy message.. what should I do..

We ve been together for 12 years, I met him when I was 21. He was my first boyfriend, first love.

The last 2 years i was in depression+ocd ( had no jobs, so I was staying at home , crying everyday, no intimacy and he cooked meals for me when he came home after his work.. I couldn’t do anything😢. But now I healed.

He left me on Valentine’s Day last year in 2025. With 0 👶🏻0💍0💒. It was horrible, I wasted my best years with him. I thought that I was an old lady and that I will end up alone. He said that he sees me like a sister and not a women he wants a future with and that he doesn’t see me as a mother ( maybe because of my depression he though I couldn’t handle being a mother..) and he came the summer telling me that he loves me , it’s me and nobody else and that he doesn’t see a future life and family without me..

He came back this summer, and left me again after 3 months during Halloween. For the second break up, he was not sure, and wanted some time to think about what he wants because he was lost blabla..

I told him that I will not give him more time to think and he should know ,we are are not in our early twenties to be like that, that he comes back and doesn’t know what he wants. So after the second break up, I blocked him on social media but not iMessage, because maybe he will call me in a few days and regret his decision, But he didn’t call me… He didn’t even try to know if he was blocked everywhere. And he wasn’t blocked everywhere.

And after 4 month, he said on iMessage in the end of February that he waited to be unblocked but it never happend, and told me that he was sorry and he misses me more than ever…

I didn’t answer and 3 weeks after his first message, he texted me again telling me « Eid Mubarak » because part of my family is Muslim, it’s like saying merry Christmas but I didn’t answer.. I didn’t know what to say..

I feel like these 2 messages are not enough for me to answer.. it’s to lazy…with what he did.. I need something more powerful..

Don’t know what do ? Does it mean that he wants us to be together, or he just said that without wanting us to be together and it’s  more like a random message, or just an apology message because he has some regrets or feels guilty ? Thanks a lot

It is my fault? Because of lack of intimacy ? Maybe if I didn’t become sick.. he wouldn’t leave me the first time.. I felt guilty that’s why I gave him a second chance.. when we came back together I was not sick anymore..

Should I have given him time to think about what he wants at the second break up and not blocked him of insta and WhatsApp? But at the same time I didn’t block his phone number so he never tried to call me and waited 4 month just to write an easy message with low effort ?

Many men told me it’s my fault that he left the first time because I was sick and depressed and cooked meals for me with no intimacy and it’s me that I should chase him even if he left me twice. Some men told me that I should have accepted the break the second time and that it was not a real break up because he was no sure if that’s what he wanted..

So it’s my fault because there were no intimacy and that I was sick?🥺

So What should I do , thanks a lot and sorry for my English

Tl ;dr he texted me back after leaving me twice

We ve been together for 12 years, I met him when I was 21. He was my first boyfriend, first love.

The last 2 years i was in depression+ocd ( had no jobs, so I was staying at home , crying everyday, no intimacy and he cooked meals for me when he came home after his work.. I couldn’t do anything😢. But now I healed.

He left me on Valentine’s Day last year in 2025. With 0 👶🏻0💍0💒. It was horrible, I wasted my best years with him. I thought that I was an old lady and that I will end up alone. He said that he sees me like a sister and not a women he wants a future with and that he doesn’t see me as a mother ( maybe because of my depression he though I couldn’t handle being a mother..) and he came the summer telling me that he loves me , it’s me and nobody else and that he doesn’t see a future life and family without me..

He came back this summer, and left me again after 3 months during Halloween. For the second break up, he was not sure, and wanted some time to think about what he wants because he was lost blabla..

I told him that I will not give him more time to think and he should know ,we are are not in our early twenties to be like that, that he comes back and doesn’t know what he wants. So after the second break up, I blocked him on social media but not iMessage, because I Had 1% hope that maybe he will call me quickly and regret his decision, But he didn’t call me… He didn’t even try to know if he was blocked everywhere. And he wasn’t blocked everywhere.

And after 4 month, he said on iMessage in the end of February that he waited to be unblocked but it never happend, and told me that he was sorry and he misses me more than ever…

I didn’t answer and 3 weeks after his first message, he texted me again telling me « Eid Mubarak » because part of my family is Muslim, it’s like saying merry Christmas but I didn’t answer.. I dont’ know what to say.. his sex message is from 20 march and no more text from him…

I feel like these 2 messages are not enough for me to answer.. it’s too lazy…with what he did.. I need something more powerful..

Don’t know what do ? Does it mean that he wants us to be together, or he just said that without wanting us to be together and it’s  more like a random message, or just an apology message because he has some regrets or feels guilty ? Thanks a lot

It is my fault? Because of lack of intimacy ? Maybe if I didn’t become sick.. he wouldn’t leave me the first time.. I felt guilty that’s why I gave him a second chance.. when we came back together I was not sick anymore..

Should I have given him time to think about what he wants at the second break up and not blocked him of insta and WhatsApp? But at the same time I didn’t block his phone number so he never tried to call me and waited 4 month just to write an easy message with low effort ?

Many men told me it’s my fault that he left the first time because I was sick and depressed and cooked meals for me with no intimacy and it’s me that I should chase him even if he left me twice. Some men told me that I should have accepted the break the second time and that it was not a real break up because he was no sure if that’s what he wanted..

So it’s my fault because there were no intimacy and that I was sick?🥺

So What should I do , thanks a lot and sorry for my English

We ve been together for 12 years, I met him when I was 21. He was my first boyfriend, first love.

The last 2 years i was in depression+ocd ( had no jobs, so I was staying at home , crying everyday, no intimacy and he cooked meals for me when he came home after his work.. I couldn’t do anything😢. But now I healed.

He left me on Valentine’s Day last year in 2025. With 0 👶🏻0💍0💒. It was horrible, I wasted my best years with him. I thought that I was an old lady and that I will end up alone. He said that he sees me like a sister and not a women he wants a future with and that he doesn’t see me as a mother ( maybe because of my depression he though I couldn’t handle being a mother..) and he came the summer telling me that he loves me , it’s me and nobody else and that he doesn’t see a future life and family without me..

He came back this summer, and left me again after 3 months during Halloween. For the second break up, he was not sure, and wanted some time to think about what he wants because he was lost blabla..

I told him that I will not give him more time to think and he should know ,we are are not in our early twenties to be like that, that he comes back and doesn’t know what he wants. So after the second break up, I blocked him on social media but not iMessage, because maybe he will call me in a few days and regret his decision, But he didn’t call me… He didn’t even try to know if he was blocked everywhere. And he wasn’t blocked everywhere.

And after 4 month, he said on iMessage in the end of February that he waited to be unblocked but it never happend, and told me that he was sorry and he misses me more than ever…

I didn’t answer and 3 weeks after his first message, he texted me again telling me « Eid Mubarak » because part of my family is Muslim, it’s like saying merry Christmas but I didn’t answer.. I didn’t know what to say..

I feel like these 2 messages are not enough for me to answer.. it’s to lazy…with what he did.. I need something more powerful..

Don’t know what do ? Does it mean that he wants us to be together, or he just said that without wanting us to be together and it’s  more like a random message, or just an apology message because he has some regrets or feels guilty ? Thanks a lot

It is my fault? Because of lack of intimacy ? Maybe if I didn’t become sick.. he wouldn’t leave me the first time.. I felt guilty that’s why I gave him a second chance.. when we came back together I was not sick anymore..

Should I have given him time to think about what he wants at the second break up and not blocked him of insta and WhatsApp? But at the same time I didn’t block his phone number so he never tried to call me and waited 4 month just to write an easy message with low effort ?

Many men told me it’s my fault that he left the first time because I was sick and depressed and cooked meals for me with no intimacy and it’s me that I should chase him even if he left me twice. Some men told me that I should have accepted the break the second time and that it was not a real break up because he was no sure if that’s what he wanted..

So it’s my fault because there were no intimacy and that I was sick?🥺

So What should I do , thanks a lot and sorry for my English

Tl ;dr he texted me back after leaving me twice