u/xAllets

Anyone know of what CVS, 7-Eleven, etc whatever store idc which one, has physical Wave cards and which location? I checked their website of course, but the CVS I went to didn’t have physical cards there, you could only reload. The app won’t scan every time I get on the bus and I feel like a giant douche when they just let me on or I have to scramble for coins at the bottom of my bag. It’s happened every time and my car is shot rn so I need it ASAP.

I don’t care what store it is, I know you can get one at the stations and in the mail but I need one now as I’m limited on physical cash/change and can’t get dollar bills at this exact moment.

TIA :)

i don’t have any hobbies, no friends, no one to hang out with. i play video games and that’s pretty much it. my bpd is relatively contained and internal i just can’t seem to make friends. i’m just really lonely. the people around me are in relationships and happy and have friends and family and i just feel really empty. i thought if i got better and got the right treatment and had my symptoms lessen that id make friends and my life would overall get better. it hasn’t.

i don’t do anything for fun. i don’t know what to do. i feel so lonely nothing feels worth it, not in a suicidal sense but in the sense where i have no one to share it with that it feels like why am i doing the activity? nothing i do makes me happy. people’s accomplishments make me happy for them but deep down im bitter and miserable and wish good things would happen to me. but i never act that way toward people, i just internalize it :/

Do any of you know if any of the Taco Bell’s here are doing the new throwback items? Currently going store by store in my area on the app but if anyone knows please lmk! tia

I feel very bad for my partner. We do not live together, they are not my caretaker. I do not have a caretaker, I try and accommodate myself and my disabilities alone and try to live the best way I can while being disabled. But I know it’s not easy having a sick partner, a partner who has no energy, a partner who has to push themselves over their limits just to do a simple activity, a partner that gets overstimulated doing simple things. I try to push through and I try to work through but I know I’m not normal.

I am on disability because I cannot work. I do want to work, I do want to get better, but my living situation is not a good one, and it’s hindering my ability to get treatment and live a better life, so it’s hard to grow. But now that I’m on SSI I can try and work on better living conditions, feeling better (hopefully), and getting better. If I can’t get better I have also accepted that, but that makes me feel a million times worse for my partner. I read a comment on here that said “caregiver burnout is real, she’s probably tired of taking care of you,” and it hurt because we don’t even live together. When we are together she doesn’t “take care” of me other than a normal romantic relationship. Hands me my drinks, I hand her hers, hands me food, give each other sips of our drinks, etc. She doesn’t cook my meals, she doesn’t clean up after me, she doesn’t wipe my ass. I do not make her do ANY caretaking roles because that is NOT her job and she did NOT agree to that.

I feel an immense amount of guilt just for being alive and being sick and disabled. Sometimes I wake up in tears and I know nobody wants to deal with that. Fuck, I don’t even want to deal with it. So I truly understand. I’m just really struggling. Part of me wants to save myself the hurt and leave because if I decline, I do not want to be even more disabled and on top of that, heartbroken. I have had her say comments to me like “at least you get to sit at home” and that always feels like small resentful comments that are building up. I go to doctors appointments 2-4 times a week, I am in physical pain, I have several mental illnesses that I’m battling with. I wish I sat at home and relaxed. I wish I had a pain free day.

I’m tired. I don’t want to be disabled.

My brain literally snaps and I feel this jolt through my brain and my eyes will start to go blurry, my chest will hurt, and then it all feels warm and fuzzy and my vision goes a little black and i’ll stare off and nothing is real, i go into almost like a trance and i can’t get out of it, my arms start to feel like jello and i feel like an overcooked spaghetti noodle. sometimes it’s the smallest things. sometimes it’s huge things. it’s never consistent, the only thing is my triggers but the triggers aren’t consistent and i don’t always know why im triggered. it’s like obviously it happens during situations but i just get these random moments on top of it being all the time, even as i type this. i don’t know what to do

I have stomach issues so sometimes RSO hits me and sometimes it doesn’t. Lately, it hasn’t been, and it’s not because my tolerance is too high, as I took a little break to see if that would help. I don’t know what makes it hit or not hit. What’s the best fat to take it with? Is there a certain oil that’ll help it absorb better in my stomach?

Peanut butter messes with my stomach so I really try to avoid having that, though I know people suggest that all the time. I have stomach issues and bad heartburn.

i have not self harmed in almost 4 years. i do not threaten to self harm. i am very quiet about my urges. the times i have reached out for help ive been told i was being manipulative or that its not someone else’s problem to take care of, which is 100% true, so i’ve just really kept it to myself but im having really bad urges right now and i guess this is my way of asking for help without having to ask someone close to me. i wish i wasn’t such a burden.

I have BPD and ADHD and other stuff so I just forgot to pick my Rexulti up. It’s been like almost a week without taking it. I wasn’t not taking the medication out of treatment resistance, I have just been feeling lazy, got my period, the adhd of it all, etc. I took my meds just now. And I am going to fill my medication container up. I just feel really depressed and like a burden, and my OCD is worsening because I’m constantly paranoid about everything. This happens when I’m not on antipsychotics. I’ve been having lapses in my memory too because I’m genuinely just slipping into a different reality. I do not feel like I’m here. I feel like it’s 2024 again when I was completely unmedicated and was blacking out going into stores because I couldn’t remember where I was or how I got there.
Can anybody recommend me some things to do while I’m in this funk? I’m in bed crying because I feel like a waste of space and a burden. It’s the kind of feeling where I don’t want to be here but I DO NOT want to hurt myself in any capacity. It’s almost like it’s becoming an intrusive thought I can’t get rid of? Because obviously I know the feeling of truly wanting to die and having that be a response to something triggering, but this is like, it’s FORCING itself in my head. Like as someone with BPD I think of death as a coping mechanism sometimes but this is like “hey you should die” and I’m like, “but I’m actually really terrified and confused right now because I actually don’t want to die”. I’m able to rationalize with myself that this is happening because I forgot to take my meds.
I don’t know. I’m just very sad and very miserable and have distanced myself from everyone because when I don’t take my medication, I can’t talk to people. I feel like I’m bothering them or that I’m annoying and embarrassing, so I literally do not talk to anyone. I won’t speak if I go to the store. I don’t speak to anyone around me. I can’t answer texts. I can’t answer emails. I can’t leave the house unless it’s dark outside and nobody is around to see me. I’m so incredibly in a depressed funk right now

it’s a kids cuisine, i forgot to put the sprinkles in the brownie i’m not going to eat. my chest is physically hurting and feels like it’s closing in, i know it’s from extreme sadness and loneliness, i feel the pit in my chest and stomach

i’m almost 30 and have no friends or family. i hope to make some one day but for now it’s me and my cat. i am really sad. and really alone. i want a hug. or even someone to sit next to me. i’m so lonely

There are no NarAnon meetings near me, no virtual ones in my state, I know I can attend an out of state one virtually but I am looking for in person because I want to connect with people more and I do that better in person. I have recently felt alone dealing with an addict mother and everyone in my life is ignoring the problem, her drug problem, and I can’t cope alone anymore. I have a therapist but she can’t “relate” so it’s hard for me.
Anyway, could I go to an al anon meeting? There’s one just a few miles from me. I don’t know if it even is for me, if I even could or would speak/share. I don’t know if it’s okay to show up for one meeting and never show up again. I don’t know. I don’t want to go into a space that isn’t for me.

I had my upper right second premolar removed Friday 7/17. I’ve had teeth removed before, this one took quite a bit of tugging and a few extra minutes of pulling than my other teeth have. I had a second molar and my bottom wisdom teeth taken out and it seems as if they popped out. Anyway, the pain doesn’t “radiate” anywhere, but it’s painful when I yawn/stretch my mouth, only on the outside, more on the upper gum area than like, in the socket? It hurts on the outside/front of my gums and doesn’t hurt at all at the back part of my gums/near the roof of my mouth. It’s excruciating at night and in the morning, but I’m able to fall asleep. The pain doesn’t wake me up, but when I wake up I notice the pain and it makes me want to cry. I’m taking 600mg Advil and 500mg Tylenol together at once, every 4-6 hours that I’m awake. The pain subsides but still kind of lingers. Is this normal? No fever or anything, no pus, no drainage, just normal swelling from having it pulled. When should I be concerned? Can I up the painkiller dosage?

Not naming the subreddit. But holy fuck are people so horrible about BPD. I made a totally normal post about how to support someone with BPD. Entire comment section was “leave them” “leave now before they ruin your life” “things will just get worse” “you’re not obligated to help anyone”. And holy fucking SHIT, they say WE’RE perpetual victims. They were hurt one single time by a pwBPD and it’s forever “ohhhh my GODDD pwBPD are MANIPULATIVE LIARS!!!!!”

People with BPD are capable of love. They deserve love. They deserve a good life. We deserve good things. We deserve a good life. We are not our mistakes. We are allowed to grow and get better. I am not who I was a year, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years ago. I am forever changing and growing. I no longer meet as many of the criteria as I did before. I still am diagnosed and not in remission but I am completely self harm free, there are other criteria I don’t meet as well now.

If we put people in a box, we don’t let them grow. Very few people truly stay the same. Not everybody grows, but nothing in life is constant and nothing truly stays the same, everything has an opportunity to grow and change. Not always in good ways. But everything is ever changing. And I don’t think we should be defined by our moments where we flew off the handle. Sorry.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to but i do. i want some relief. i want to be numb. i don’t know what to do. i dont want to throw 4 and a half years away but also its worth nothing, today was so fucking horrible and i’m fucking tired. what are ways I can replicate the feeling without actually harming myself.

I’m 27. I am considering doing so. I have had two “serious” relationships that lasted a bit. The current one more serious than the one before, and longer than the one before. I always lose myself in the relationship, despite the fact I’ve been in therapy. I thought I was doing better in this one, though. I really thought I was.

My current partner would tell me how much she loves me, how proud she is of me, how I’ve done so many things that I should be proud of myself. Positive things. And a fight will happen, because I’ve said the wrong thing or the wrong tone, and my partner will then say things like “I have to walk on eggshells around you” or “you make every day feel horrible”. And I’m thinking okay. I’d like to fix these things. So I ask what can I do better, how can I be better, how can I be the way you need me to be so I’m not hurting you?

I’m not a mean person… people always tell me I’m nice, funny, outgoing, etc. I want to fix myself but I don’t know if I can. I don’t think I’m meant for a romantic relationship maybe. I don’t really think I’m meant for any relationships, romantic or platonic. Have any of you abstained from relationships because you’re just too much to deal with? Any advice on how to…. stop being… too much?