u/Affectionate_Head451

A boy and girl were together for 11 months, sharing deep daily routines, inside jokes, and clear future plans including marriage, a home, 4 kids, 2–3 boys and 1–2 girls, 2 dogs and 1 cat, both working, marrying early and having kids at 28. They built many cherished memories — their first date at the cinema where he nervously put his arm out and she leaned on his shoulder, a special quiet spot in the woods where they sat for hours looking over the water, 14-hour overnight calls falling asleep together on the phone when he was away on holiday, trips to the Trafford Centre and TGI Fridays where he watched her smile proudly, Blackpool Zoo where he ran across the road to buy her a pie before the train, Christmas markets and Yorkshire pudding wraps, handmade gifts including teddy bears named Elliot and Leo, blankets, hoodies and flowers, walking her to the bus stop, waiting at the end of her alley, speaking in a soft baby voice only they understood, and falling asleep together where she’d lie on his chest and he’d run his fingers through her hair. The girl frequently identified as avoidant and posted about this attachment style, had a history of severe childhood neglect, domestic violence in her home, trauma and self-harm, and repeatedly told the boy she felt safest, most seen and loved with him, calling him her person, her best friend, her future, and saying she never wanted to break up and would never give up on them. The first breakup happened in December — it followed a sleepover at her best friend’s house, she pulled away, went back to her toxic ex, the boy begged and tried to reach out, the breakup lasted only 4 days, and during those days she messaged him cold and dry before coming back on her own. On July 3rd, the exact same pattern repeated — another sleepover, she was caught hiding things, immediately called the relationship toxic and said they needed to move on, then brought up a serious, never-before-mentioned allegation that she had never once spoken about in 11 months as the final reason to end things. Their last conversation was on July 18th. She went straight back to the same toxic ex, blocked the boy on most platforms but left Snapchat unblocked and only removed him as a friend so he could still be found if she searched, kept his grey and black hoodies, his blanket and his teddies visible in her videos, and has posted conflicting, angry, trauma-focused and relationship-related content ever since including posts about being ignored, being treated like an option, and feeling unvalued. Her ex has already begun treating her poorly — ignoring her, being hot and cold, making her feel confused and unvalued — exactly the same pattern she always ran from before. The boy has stayed silent, gone completely ghost on social media, not chased or messaged since July 18th, and still visits his nan’s grave where he prays for them and leaves flowers for her uncle buried in the same cemetery. Based on the full timeline, both breakups, the identical pattern, the December outcome, the attachment style, past trauma, all shared history, the things she kept, her current behaviour and the boy’s silence — what is highly likely to happen next between the boy and girl?

This is a ai summary of my situation, I don’t think reading it will allow you to grasp the closeness we had and felt. As we both stem from trauma, we were each-others everything. My soul goal in that relationship was to make her happy and she just couldn’t handle it for some reason
I miss her so much everyday for the past month and half

A boy and girl were together for 11 months, sharing deep daily routines, inside jokes, and clear future plans including marriage, a home, 4 kids, 2–3 boys and 1–2 girls, 2 dogs and 1 cat, both working, marrying early and having kids at 28. They built many cherished memories — their first date at the cinema where he nervously put his arm out and she leaned on his shoulder, a special quiet spot in the woods where they sat for hours looking over the water, 14-hour overnight calls falling asleep together on the phone when he was away on holiday, trips to the Trafford Centre and TGI Fridays where he watched her smile proudly, Blackpool Zoo where he ran across the road to buy her a pie before the train, Christmas markets and Yorkshire pudding wraps, handmade gifts including teddy bears named Elliot and Leo, blankets, hoodies and flowers, walking her to the bus stop, waiting at the end of her alley, speaking in a soft baby voice only they understood, and falling asleep together where she’d lie on his chest and he’d run his fingers through her hair. The girl frequently identified as avoidant and posted about this attachment style, had a history of severe childhood neglect, domestic violence in her home, trauma and self-harm, and repeatedly told the boy she felt safest, most seen and loved with him, calling him her person, her best friend, her future, and saying she never wanted to break up and would never give up on them. The first breakup happened in December — it followed a sleepover at her best friend’s house, she pulled away, went back to her toxic ex, the boy begged and tried to reach out, the breakup lasted only 4 days, and during those days she messaged him cold and dry before coming back on her own. On July 3rd, the exact same pattern repeated — another sleepover, she was caught hiding things, immediately called the relationship toxic and said they needed to move on, then brought up a serious, never-before-mentioned allegation that she had never once spoken about in 11 months as the final reason to end things. Their last conversation was on July 18th. She went straight back to the same toxic ex, blocked the boy on most platforms but left Snapchat unblocked and only removed him as a friend so he could still be found if she searched, kept his grey and black hoodies, his blanket and his teddies visible in her videos, and has posted conflicting, angry, trauma-focused and relationship-related content ever since including posts about being ignored, being treated like an option, and feeling unvalued. Her ex has already begun treating her poorly — ignoring her, being hot and cold, making her feel confused and unvalued — exactly the same pattern she always ran from before. The boy has stayed silent, gone completely ghost on social media, not chased or messaged since July 18th, and still visits his nan’s grave where he prays for them and leaves flowers for her uncle buried in the same cemetery. Based on the full timeline, both breakups, the identical pattern, the December outcome, the attachment style, past trauma, all shared history, the things she kept, her current behaviour and the boy’s silence — what is highly likely to happen next between the boy and girl?

This is an ai summary of my story. I truly believe no one can grasp what we had. Reading it may seem basic, but for 2 people who’s never had safety and have lived through a life of trauma. We was each-others everything

I don’t want no ranting about why you shouldn’t go back, I just want to know do they comeback? Even when it seems impossible?

I’ve had acne for years, I’ve tried every over the counter product. I have spent hundreds of hundreds of pounds on skincare, I became an enthusiast of it, yet my skin isn’t clear. I’ve tried every oral treatment for acne that you can get from your doctor, I’ve dieted before and I eat pretty well, I exercise etc.

Last autumn I had a few serious and big break outs, and that lasted till January. After January my face was scattered with red marks which looked like spots but is just PIE. I stripped my routine of all its heavy skin damagers and replaced it with a simple but good routine. I stuck to it for months, yet nothing. My skin still is full of PIE and over the past year it’s seriously affected my confidence and mental health to the point were each morning now I put non-suffocating (I forgot the actual word) bb cream to hide my marks, and yet my skin still doesn’t look good.

My back and chest is just full of acne and I had a very committed and deep relationship with this girl, and it took my over 6 months to even take my shirt off in-front of her.

Tomorrow I go to the dermatologist and I’m so excited. I have a few questions however for any experienced people, what am I expecting? Will I finally get my dream skin look atleast? What should my routine look like?

Overall I just want peoples take on my situation as it’s something I’ve not really opened up about

We were together for 11 months — incredibly close, daily routines, shared future plans, both families got on perfectly, and a level of safety and trust neither of us had ever known. She has a history of severe childhood neglect, trauma, and fearful-avoidant attachment. This exact same thing happened before in December: she was hiding things, I found out, she pulled away, ran to her toxic ex… and then came back on her own. This time it happened exactly the same way: July 3rd, I found her hiding stuff again — just like last time — and she immediately called us toxic, said we needed to move on, and then suddenly brought up a serious, never-before-mentioned allegation that she’d never once spoken about during our entire relationship. She used that as the final reason to end things, went straight back to her toxic ex, blocked me on most platforms but left Snapchat unblocked so the door wasn’t fully shut, and still has my things visible in her videos. The ex is already treating her poorly — ignoring her, being hot and cold, making her feel confused and unvalued — exactly the same pattern she always ran from before. She told me for months I was the best thing that ever happened to her, spoke of marriage and a future together, and said she never felt truly safe with anyone but me. This is the almost identical cycle from December — same trigger, same reaction, same ex. Last time she came back. Given the timeline, the attachment style, and everything that’s happened — does this pattern mean she’ll eventually come back again, or is this time different?

This time it seems far more real, like for one it’s lasted a month and half, for 2 the allegation, for 3 she acts like she hates me online, for 4 she’s blocked me on basically everything.

Now last time only lasted 4 days, she still messaged me and still sort of had a foot in the door and came back out of regret.

She’s an avoidant, I asked her for loyalty and she left me because I caught her doing me wrong and she went back to her toxic ex, she came back 4 days after.

Same thing happens again, I ask for loyalty and I caught her doing me wrong, she leaves me, to avoid guilt of hurting the good guy, she pins a nuclear accusation on me and goes back to her toxic ex

Please don’t try and convince me she’s horrible because this is the surface story. But I do want her back, I want things to work but I’m not even sure if she’ll come back.

we’ve been split for 1 month and 14 days

Now I’ve asked this before but do avoidants come back with big barriers?

We knew each other’s deepest hurts and quietest dreams, and we felt safer, more seen, and more at home with each other than anywhere else in the whole world.

Yet she broke up with me, went in a complete cold/distant phase and seemed to be living a life of distractions. A week after the break up, seen as I didn’t chase, for some reason she drops this nuclear accusation on me, then proceeds to make out online like she hates me.

I’m not gonna go into detail, but all I’ll say is me and her were universally close with memories like no other, she seems so have gone back to her toxic ex and for some reason prefers him. I gave her my full heart without second thought because I truly love her.

I’m blocked off everything and in no contact but deep down I just want her to reach out. Last time we spoke was the 18th of last month and have been separated for a month and 14 days.

Will she come back, I’ve already decided I will take her back after distancing from the situation and having a good hard look at it. And I’ve decided all the good she brought, all the memories, all the times together were we’d laugh and love each other, the routines, the family all of it out weighs how much she hurt me.

So will she come back do you think?

I suffer from pie personally or just acne marks whatever you want to call them, I want the fastest way to eliminate it. No bs, just straight facts

Fearful avoidants almost always circle back once their bubble of distractions bursts?

A fraction of the story, but I’m being haunted by this. I’ve made my decision of wanting her back,that’s not gonna change.

We broke up July 3rd, and looking back it’s the exact same story as last time, same reason, same cycle, same choices all over again. Right now she’s gone back to her old ex, the one everyone knows treated her terribly, hurt her, and left her with so much trauma. It’s not because he’s better, or because she found something real, it’s exactly what she did before: when things get too close, too heavy, or too true with me, she runs straight to what feels familiar, even if it’s bad for her.

I treated her better than anyone ever has. I showed up for her through everything, her hardest days, her insecurities, her struggles. I gave her consistency, patience, safety, and love that didn’t waver. We had routines, quiet moments, memories that felt like home, the kind of safety she told me she never had before. I put her first, listened when no one else did, and stayed loyal even when things got hard.

This time though, there’s a huge difference: along with the distance and running, she’s brought out serious, damaging allegations. I won’t go into detail, but it’s something completely out of nowhere, never discussed before, and it’s like a shield she built to justify leaving and make herself the victim. Last time it was just distance and silence; this time there’s this big, hurtful narrative she’s pushing, online and to others, to avoid facing the truth or her own guilt.

Every step matches the last breakup: timing, her pulling away, leaning on friends who encourage her to leave, escaping into the past instead of facing what we had. But the accusation layer makes it so much heavier, and she’s hiding behind it all while running right back to the person who hurt her most.

It’s been since July 3rd, and I’m stuck seeing the pattern clear as day, but scared this time the walls are higher. She acts like I never mattered, yet repeats the exact same escape plan as before. I know what we had was real, and I know how I loved her right, but this new twist and her going back to him is breaking me. Has anyone else seen this exact repeat cycle with an FA, plus the false narrative layer?

I know everyone’s situation is different so I’d appreciate if someone commented on mine

We weren’t just together, we became each other’s safe home, two people who’d been hurt finding total comfort, where she could drop every wall, talk endlessly, show her scars and softness, and I could care for her in every quiet way, holding a bond so deep and real it felt like we fit perfectly together without having to pretend at all.

December break up:
We’d been so close and steady, but I caught her doing me wrong again and she pulled away suddenly out of fear and shut me down without warning, leaving me confused and heartbroken. yet even then, the bond we had was too strong to stay gone, and she came back within a few days because deep down she knew I was her safe place.

This break up:
This time after getting that closeness again and plenty more memories. I caught her doing me wrong again, so she broke up with me, called us toxic again like last time and said we needed to move on. But the difference in my behaviour this time is I begged a little but respected her decision hoping she’d comeback on her own again. However after a week she drops a bombshell of an accusation on my name probably trying to hide her guilt of hurting the “good” guy again.

Differences:
This time she blocked me, not right away but when she dropped the accusation it sparked me to react which ended up leading to several blockings everywhere. She unblocked me a week after and reposted stuff that you’d assume meant she missed me. So I reached out just for her to shut down again and say some mean things and block me.

Where we are at now:
Since the 19th of last month we haven’t spoke, but on social media it looks like she hates me, and she acts like I traumatised her. I’m heartbroken, scared, and deeply confused, grieving the love I lost, doubting myself from the lies, missing her terribly, yet still holding onto hope and the memory of what i truly shared.

What I did for her:
I waited for her at the alley rode the bus extra miles walked her home safely and sat for hours in our quiet spot just to be close. I brought her favorite cinnamon buns surprised her with food and care when she was sick and supported her through her self-harm and pain ready to bandage her wounds and keep her safe. I gave her consistent love gentle reassurance endless patience and a safe place where she never had to be afraid or guarded.

(Fraction of what I did and how close we were)

What she said and did:
She opened up fully talked endlessly about everything and let herself be completely vulnerable trusting me with her body her scars and her deepest fears. She said I was the best thing that ever happened to her called me beautiful kind and steady and showed me her soft side curling tight into me using her baby voice for comfort and laughing like no one else when I was around. She gave me her trust her affection and the feeling of being truly seen and loved.

(Also a fraction)

What I want:
I want her back more than anything and to make things right between us. I want the truth to be clear and the lies to fade away. I want to get back that safe warm closeness we shared and heal together. I want to be understood and trusted again and rebuild the real love we had without fear or distance.

I know she’s capable of seeing me for who I am, and she’s built walls between us, I truly forgive her and want her to understand how much I really cared and I want her to come back.

Update:
I forgot to mention she has avoidant tendencies and has expressed in the past and acknowledged how she is avoidant.

I know everyone’s situation is different so I’d appreciate if someone commented on mine

We weren’t just together, we became each other’s safe home, two people who’d been hurt finding total comfort, where she could drop every wall, talk endlessly, show her scars and softness, and I could care for her in every quiet way, holding a bond so deep and real it felt like we fit perfectly together without having to pretend at all.

December break up:
We’d been so close and steady, but I caught her doing me wrong again and she pulled away suddenly out of fear and shut me down without warning, leaving me confused and heartbroken. yet even then, the bond we had was too strong to stay gone, and she came back within a few days because deep down she knew I was her safe place.

This break up:
This time after getting that closeness again and plenty more memories. I caught her doing me wrong again, so she broke up with me, called us toxic again like last time and said we needed to move on. But the difference in my behaviour this time is I begged a little but respected her decision hoping she’d comeback on her own again. However after a week she drops a bombshell of an accusation on my name probably trying to hide her guilt of hurting the “good” guy again.

Differences:
This time she blocked me, not right away but when she dropped the accusation it sparked me to react which ended up leading to several blockings everywhere. She unblocked me a week after and reposted stuff that you’d assume meant she missed me. So I reached out just for her to shut down again and say some mean things and block me.

Where we are at now:
Since the 19th of last month we haven’t spoke, but on social media it looks like she hates me, and she acts like I traumatised her. I’m heartbroken, scared, and deeply confused, grieving the love I lost, doubting myself from the lies, missing her terribly, yet still holding onto hope and the memory of what i truly shared.

What I did for her:
I waited for her at the alley rode the bus extra miles walked her home safely and sat for hours in our quiet spot just to be close. I brought her favorite cinnamon buns surprised her with food and care when she was sick and supported her through her self-harm and pain ready to bandage her wounds and keep her safe. I gave her consistent love gentle reassurance endless patience and a safe place where she never had to be afraid or guarded.

(Fraction of what I did and how close we were)

What she said and did:
She opened up fully talked endlessly about everything and let herself be completely vulnerable trusting me with her body her scars and her deepest fears. She said I was the best thing that ever happened to her called me beautiful kind and steady and showed me her soft side curling tight into me using her baby voice for comfort and laughing like no one else when I was around. She gave me her trust her affection and the feeling of being truly seen and loved.

(Also a fraction)

What I want:
I want her back more than anything and to make things right between us. I want the truth to be clear and the lies to fade away. I want to get back that safe warm closeness we shared and heal together. I want to be understood and trusted again and rebuild the real love we had without fear or distance.

I know she’s capable of seeing me for who I am, and she’s built walls between us, I truly forgive her and want her to understand how much I really cared and I want her to come back.

I’ve posted many times about this. Do they come back, I don’t want a lecture on why I shouldn’t want them back because I’ve made my decision.

It’s been a month and 10 days since the break up, she used Darvo a week after the break up when I didn’t beg.
Last time I messaged her was the 19th July, she responded with this accusation that was brought up in the darvo process. Since then, on social media it looks like she hates me.

I’ve been told no contact is the best and only way to get her back, I understand that no contact is for myself but I want her back there’s no changing my mind. This relationship was really deep rooted, she previously told me I was the best thing to happen to her and I can vouch for it because i treated her like a queen. She’s been through trauma, abusive ex which she seems to go back to not for another relationship but she prefers him over me for some reason even though he basically bullied her, and was awful to her.

I can talk for hours about this, but the point is I do want her back so bad. Any advice helps!

It’s tearing me apart inside. We were together 11 months, she was my whole world ,I treated her with everything I had, she felt safe enough to share her deepest struggles with me, we planned our future, named our kids, dreamed of a home and life together. Not long ago she was sending me messages saying she couldn’t wait to build all of that with me. Then suddenly it all changed, serious accusations came out, fully backed by her mum and best friend. She’s reposting everything like it’s the full truth, but I know deep down there’s more to it. She even slipped up once saying her mum was doing it for herself and she was crying in the middle of it all. I know no relationship is perfect and I take accountability for my part, but I also know I never hurt her. It feels like what we had has been taken over by noise and confusion, and I’m left drowning in pain I can barely stand. I’m looking for honest perspectives and just some clarity. Thank you.

Me and my ex were together 11 months and it was the best time of my life. We were perfect together, had our routines, our families got on great, we had real future plans and a connection deeper than anything I’ve ever known. She had a rough past: childhood neglect, domestic violence growing up, an awful ex, avoidant attachment and she struggled with self-harm. I grew up with similar stuff so I understood her more than anyone. I treated her like everything, supported her through it all, made her feel safe and she even told me I was the best thing that ever happened to her.

We had our issues though. She kept going back to this group chat with other lads, lying about it, and it became a cycle. We broke up once before but she came back after a few days. The final split happened when I got anxious and found a hidden account, we argued and things blew up. Then out of nowhere came this serious accusation from her, backed up by her mum and her best friend. Her mum posted it publicly and my ex started reposting it on TikTok acting completely certain it was true.

But here’s what I know for a fact: when her mum made that post she commented “she’s only doing this for herself, I’m crying in the other room” — that was raw truth before she got pulled fully into their side. She trusted me more than anyone, let me be there for her self-harm, open up about family drama and be intimate in ways she never was with anyone else. She cycles between me and her best mate: with me it’s real love and safety, with them it’s distraction and validation when she gets scared or overwhelmed. Both breakups happened when she was with them on sleepovers. She’s only young, easily influenced and traumatised. her brain rewrites reality just to cope with guilt and pain. It feels less like she believes it and more like she’s protecting herself from the mess she made.

I know people might call me delusional for still believing in us, I’ve heard it before, but I can’t shake how real it was. I want her back more than anything. If someone asked me would I live those 11 months all over again knowing it ends with this pain, I’d say yes without a second thought. The love we shared outweighs any hurt I’m going through. It wasn’t just a fling, it was everything to me.

Right now I’m full ghost: no contact, no watching her stories at all. She posted petty stuff calling me “charity work” but I didn’t react at all. We’re going to the same college soon.

My question is: in this situation where the accusation feels like a trauma response and peer/family influence rather than actual truth, and where what we had was so deep and real. is it realistic she’ll calm down, see things clearly and come back?

Looking for honest opinions, especially anyone who understands attachment styles or trauma in young relationships. Thanks

This is a shortened version of my story, not covering the true deepness of this reality because people refuse to read the full version. But it goes like

I was with a girl for 11 months and honestly those were the best 11 months of my life. We were extremely close, our families loved each other, we had routines, memories and realistic plans for the future, and I genuinely loved this girl with everything I had. We both had difficult pasts and I supported her through hers, made her feel loved, tried to fix our arguments and gave her everything I could because I genuinely wanted to, not because I expected anything back. Our biggest issue was trust. She repeatedly went back to a group chat with guys she knew I was uncomfortable with and hid it from me, which made me anxious and caused me to search for things whenever I got that gut feeling. In December, I found something I can’t even fully remember now, confronted her over messages and she broke up with me, saying we were toxic, that she’d always love me and needed space. I was completely heartbroken and begged her constantly while we were apart. After four days she started warming up again, eventually apologised and said she wanted to try again, and without hesitation I took her back because I loved her and wanted my girl back. Months later I found her in that group chat again while we were face to face. She broke down crying, grabbed my arm and begged me not to leave her, and I told her I wasn’t going anywhere because I genuinely didn’t want to leave. We went on to make so many more amazing memories. Eventually the same trust problems came back and led to our final breakup on July 3rd. She said we were toxic and needed to move on, although the next morning she admitted she missed me so much that she had to remove me from Snapchat because seeing my name made her want to message me. Then everything became much worse. There was an accusation made against me, she blocked me everywhere, and her mum publicly posted my full name and called me a predator before deleting it. Despite all of this, I still love her more than I can explain. I don’t just miss having a girlfriend, I miss HER, our routines, her family, our memories, our future and everything that came with her. I still sleep with the teddy she bought me and I can’t bring myself to delete our pictures. I know there are serious barriers now, which is why I’m maintaining no contact and I’m not chasing her, but my goal is still simple: I want her back. More than anything. I know people will tell me I’m delusional or to move on, but I’m not asking whether I should stop loving her because I can’t just switch that off. If I could live those 11 months again knowing they would end exactly the same way, I would do it without hesitation because that girl and what we had meant that much to me. I just hope that one day she misses me, remembers what we had, realises how much I loved her and reaches out. I genuinely want my girl back.

This is a shortened version and doesn’t cover every detail probably needed to be considered, but here it is

I was with a girl for 11 months and honestly those were the best 11 months of my life. We were extremely close, our families loved each other, we had routines, memories and realistic plans for the future, and I genuinely loved this girl with everything I had. We both had difficult pasts and I supported her through hers, made her feel loved, tried to fix our arguments and gave her everything I could because I genuinely wanted to, not because I expected anything back. Our biggest issue was trust. She repeatedly went back to a group chat with guys she knew I was uncomfortable with and hid it from me, which made me anxious and caused me to search for things whenever I got that gut feeling. In December, I found something I can’t even fully remember now, confronted her over messages and she broke up with me, saying we were toxic, that she’d always love me and needed space. I was completely heartbroken and begged her constantly while we were apart. After four days she started warming up again, eventually apologised and said she wanted to try again, and without hesitation I took her back because I loved her and wanted my girl back. Months later I found her in that group chat again while we were face to face. She broke down crying, grabbed my arm and begged me not to leave her, and I told her I wasn’t going anywhere because I genuinely didn’t want to leave. We went on to make so many more amazing memories. Eventually the same trust problems came back and led to our final breakup on July 3rd. She said we were toxic and needed to move on, although the next morning she admitted she missed me so much that she had to remove me from Snapchat because seeing my name made her want to message me. Then everything became much worse. There was an accusation made against me, she blocked me everywhere, and her mum publicly posted my full name and called me a predator before deleting it. Despite all of this, I still love her more than I can explain. I don’t just miss having a girlfriend, I miss HER, our routines, her family, our memories, our future and everything that came with her. I still sleep with the teddy she bought me and I can’t bring myself to delete our pictures. I know there are serious barriers now, which is why I’m maintaining no contact and I’m not chasing her, but my goal is still simple: I want her back. More than anything. I know people will tell me I’m delusional or to move on, but I’m not asking whether I should stop loving her because I can’t just switch that off. If I could live those 11 months again knowing they would end exactly the same way, I would do it without hesitation because that girl and what we had meant that much to me. I just hope that one day she misses me, remembers what we had, realises how much I loved her and reaches out. I genuinely want my girl back.

Although this is really shortened it covers the main points, I’ve tried many times to get people to read the full version but it seems it’s too long for people.

I was with a girl for 11 months and honestly those were the best 11 months of my life. We were extremely close, our families loved each other, we had routines, memories and realistic plans for the future, and I genuinely loved this girl with everything I had. We both had difficult pasts and I supported her through hers, made her feel loved, tried to fix our arguments and gave her everything I could because I genuinely wanted to, not because I expected anything back. Our biggest issue was trust. She repeatedly went back to a group chat with guys she knew I was uncomfortable with and hid it from me, which made me anxious and caused me to search for things whenever I got that gut feeling. In December, I found something I can’t even fully remember now, confronted her over messages and she broke up with me, saying we were toxic, that she’d always love me and needed space. I was completely heartbroken and begged her constantly while we were apart. After four days she started warming up again, eventually apologised and said she wanted to try again, and without hesitation I took her back because I loved her and wanted my girl back. Months later I found her in that group chat again while we were face to face. She broke down crying, grabbed my arm and begged me not to leave her, and I told her I wasn’t going anywhere because I genuinely didn’t want to leave. We went on to make so many more amazing memories. Eventually the same trust problems came back and led to our final breakup on July 3rd. She said we were toxic and needed to move on, although the next morning she admitted she missed me so much that she had to remove me from Snapchat because seeing my name made her want to message me. Then everything became much worse. There was an accusation made against me, she blocked me everywhere, and her mum publicly posted my full name and called me a predator before deleting it. Despite all of this, I still love her more than I can explain. I don’t just miss having a girlfriend, I miss HER, our routines, her family, our memories, our future and everything that came with her. I still sleep with the teddy she bought me and I can’t bring myself to delete our pictures. I know there are serious barriers now, which is why I’m maintaining no contact and I’m not chasing her, but my goal is still simple: I want her back. More than anything. I know people will tell me I’m delusional or to move on, but I’m not asking whether I should stop loving her because I can’t just switch that off. If I could live those 11 months again knowing they would end exactly the same way, I would do it without hesitation because that girl and what we had meant that much to me. I just hope that one day she misses me, remembers what we had, realises how much I loved her and reaches out. I genuinely want my girl back.

I was with a girl for 11 months and honestly they were the best months of my life. We were extremely close, both families loved us, we had routines, future plans and so many memories. I genuinely thought we’d end up together long term.
We both had difficult childhoods. She experienced severe DV, neglect, had an awful ex, struggles with insecurity and self harm, and described herself as avoidantly attached. I also experienced neglect, abuse and trauma growing up and was pushed into boxing from a young age. When I met her, I eventually quit because I hated it and wanted to focus on the life we were building. I supported her through everything and tried to make her feel loved and secure. She told me I was the best thing that ever happened to her.
Our biggest issue was trust. There was a group chat with some Eastern European lads. I initially didn’t care, but I later found out that had been her type before, which made me uncomfortable. She left the group, then months later secretly joined again. This happened multiple times.
I admit I wasn’t perfect. Every few months I’d get anxious that something was happening behind my back and search for things. I’d usually find something that upset me, confront her, we’d argue, and eventually I’d forgive her and go back to treating her normally because I loved her.
We first broke up in December after I confronted her about something I’d found. She said we were toxic, needed space and that she’d always love me. I was devastated and begged her constantly. After four days she eventually came back and wanted to try again, so I accepted immediately.
A few months later I found her in that group chat again while we were face to face. She grabbed my arm, broke down crying and begged me not to leave her. I hugged her and told her I wasn’t going anywhere. After that we had months of what felt like a genuinely amazing relationship. GCSEs, families, routines, memories, everything. Her little cousin even called me dad and I would go out of my way to help her family.
Then the same trust problems eventually came back.
Before the final breakup, I became suspicious again and searched. We argued and she said we needed a break, specifically saying it wasn’t a breakup. I couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong, searched again and found a hidden account that had me blocked. It had posts joking about her and her best friend looking for a guy to love them for summer, with Drew Starkey in the background, and her bio said “Drew Starkey my daddy.” She said it was a joke, but I was hurt and confronted her.
She broke up with me on July 3.
This time I didn’t chase her afterwards. The next morning she told me she really missed me and removed me from Snapchat because seeing my name made her want to message me normally. She said she’d keep me on other platforms in case.
Then everything became much worse.
A few days later she reposted something on TikTok containing a serious accusation against me. I panicked, blocked her everywhere, broke down and then unblocked her because I desperately wanted to explain myself. She eventually blocked me everywhere.
On July 19 she unblocked me on TikTok and had reposted things that looked like she missed me, so I simply asked how she was. She replied coldly, but the conversation turned into her saying I was no better than her ex and that I owed her an apology. I was desperate to get another chance, so I apologised for something I genuinely don’t believe I did because I didn’t want to invalidate her feelings. She blocked me again and kept screenshots of the conversation.
About a week later, while I was at the pub trying to distract myself, my step mum called me saying my ex’s mum had posted my full name and whereabouts on Facebook, called me a predator and said she wanted it public. It completely destroyed me.
My ex then commented on the post saying, “She’s only done this for herself, she’s ignoring me crying in the other room.” They were on holiday together. The post was eventually deleted, but my ex continued reposting things relating to the accusation.
Since then there have also been hurtful posts about me and our relationship, including her calling pictures of us “charity work.”
What hurts most is that despite everything, I still love her.
I can’t delete our pictures. I still sleep with the teddy she bought me. Her initials are still on my widgets. I know she still has the teddies I bought her and the Valentine’s blanket I gave her. Leo was even going to be the name of our first son. We had talked about our future and even had a pregnancy scare.
I don’t just miss having a girlfriend. I miss HER. I miss our routines, her family, our memories and the future we were building. Our one year anniversary would’ve been July 21.
I’ve spent ages asking AI and Google whether she’ll come back because I desperately wanted certainty, but I’ve realised nobody can actually predict that.
I’m currently maintaining no contact. I’m not chasing her because the situation has become serious and I know continuing to contact her could put me at risk.
But I still want her back.
I know people will tell me to move on, and I understand why. But I genuinely don’t want to right now. I still pray she comes back. I’ve cried over this at my nan’s tombstone. I’ve been extremely low and this breakup has affected me more than anything I’ve experienced before.
I also know I wasn’t perfect. My anxiety, searching and constant suspicion contributed to the toxicity. I’m not trying to pretend otherwise. But I genuinely loved her and tried to give her everything I could.
If I was asked whether I’d live through those 11 months again knowing they’d end exactly like this, I’d say yes immediately. Not because I want the heartbreak, but because those 11 months meant that much to me.
So my question is simply:
Do you think she’ll miss me once the anger settles? Could she eventually realise what we had and reconsider? And is reconciliation realistically possible one day?
I’m not asking anyone to guarantee she’ll come back. I just want genuine opinions from people who can understand that a relationship can be deeply flawed while the love between two people was still genuine.
I’m keeping no contact. I’m not begging or chasing.
I just hope one day I see that message pop up on my phone.

I’m gonna try keep this short but, I was with a girl for 11 months, best 11 months of my life. We was perfect, people loved us as a couple. We shared: routines, both families loved one another, realistic future plans, and closeness like no other.

A bit about her:
She is a mixed up girl, highly insecure, pos ex and I mean he was awful to her. She witnessed severe dv growing up, she was neglected by both parents and claimed to have avoidant attachment but didn’t go showing it off, rather she let me figure it out. But despite that she cared for me, she told me I was the best thing to happen to her, she was just perfect in my eyes. Oh and she also did SH which I also supported her behind and offered to fix her up.

A bit about me:
I grew up with similar neglect, I’ve faced physical, mental, financial abuse by both parents, I got r at a young age, I was made to train like some sort of professional boxer with strict daily routines and dieting from the age of 12. But then I met her, I quit boxing because I hated it and dedicated my life towards her. I treated her right man, I gave her everything, compliments for her insecurities, support for her home problems, I made her laugh, I made her feel loved, I gave her absolutely more than most can offer, and that was all of myself, my time and effort. But I didn’t do it because I wanted something I did it because I loved her and she made me forget about my past.

Our problems:
We was perfect I always tried to fix arguments and she even said that herself, but she kept going back to this gc with these Eastern European lads in it, at first I was fine with it didn’t bother me whatsoever, but then I found out that Eastern European lads was her type at one point so I got a bit uncomfortable, I told her this and from what I can remember she ended up leaving the gc and that was that. Give it a few months and she’d end up back into it but behind my back, so I’d bring it up and that cycle happened a few times which leads to December.

The December break up:
I was searching for stuff to hold up against her, I was worried she Went back to them again as she had previously lied to my face about it. Until I find something I can’t exactly remember, I don’t believe it was that serious but I had a go at her over message. She dumped me even though she did me wrong, she said it was toxic and that she’d always love me and she needed space. I was so obviously heartbroken and I even cried into my dad’s arms, the one that I’ve had a bad past with. Anyways when we was split she was reposting videos of other lads like Alex chino and like things you’d repost when your single, I was worried she was going back to her ex and kept bombarding her and begging her. Long story short, after 4 days she was messaging me during all 4 but cold and distant, but after 4 days I acted non-chalant in a way and she sent me some pics so I said “you look good” and she said “is that it” the same day she says she was sorry for everything and she wanted to try again and without second thought I jumped straight to it again.

Post breakup:
Life was good again, I had my baby back after all until a few months in I found her in that gc again and we was face to face when I found out, she grabbed my arm and said in the most innocent and broken voice “please don’t leave” she kept begging and broke down sobbing, it was genuine. So I gave her a hug and said I ain’t going anywhere. I felt horrible she was my little princess I couldn’t leave her I didn’t actually want to. Anyways life was perfect again with plenty more memories, no gc’s but just us and GCSEs and love, pure love. I had her little cousin calling me dad, I went feeding her mums dog at 10pm whom lived far away because her mum neglected it just like she had done with her daughter. I treated her like a queen, she definitely deserved it because besides her flaws she was all I ever wanted. Man there’s so many memories I can talk about.

My problem:
Every few months I’d (reasonably) get sort of anxious that she’s doing stuff behind my back so I’d go searching, and I believe if you search for something you’ll always find something even if you don’t find what you was searching for and that’s how it went. I wasn’t the best in that sense, but id always circle back to treating her like a queen and it leads to the last time it happened, the last time i felt this way.

The most recent breakup:
So I felt untrusting again, I felt it again so I searched, I had a go at her we argued she gave me another chance without telling me she was, the next day I’d search again because I couldn’t shake this gut feeling, she said we needed a break but not a breakup just a break, I panicked for a second but then was alright because we wasn’t breaking up, but I just couldn’t shake that gut feeling, until I searched again and I found a hidden account that had me blocked with stories she claimed was a joke but I didn’t find it funny, one with the caption “me and (her best friend) go out looking for a guy like this to love us for summer” and it would be an edit of drew starkey in the back ground, and in her bio was “drew Starkey my daddy”
So obviously I had a go at her again. Then boom she did it again she split up with me, I had a bit of a sob but I didn’t react like last time, I begged as it happened but didn’t go chasing or bombarding her. She said she’d always love me but we was toxic and needed to move on. The next morning she said she really missed me so she’d have to remove me on Snapchat because seeing my name makes her want to message me normally, but she said she’d keep me on the other platforms in case.

Where the story twists:
Now the big twister making me petrified now of no reconciliation, is after a few days of not giving her attention nor messaging her well Ofc I was hurt a lot but I didn’t show it, she reposted a nuclear accusation on TikTok, causing me to impulsively block her off everything and broke down infront of my step me, but I soon unblocked her and messaged her on WhatsApp and I kept saying that I did everything for her but all she said was (the accusation). Then she blocked me on everything, then on the 19th July, I messaged her on TikTok after she unblocked me and reposted things that you’d assume meant she missed me, all I said was “how are you” she said “alright wbu ” very cold and dry so I replied “ I’m okay just working on myself keeping busy” then boom that sparked her to say all this and that, saying I was no better than her ex and that she deserved an apology. And because I was so emotional and stupid i apologised for something I didn’t do because I just wanted her back and I wanted that second chance with her so I didn’t want to invalidate her and make her angrier. Anyways she blocked me again and proceeded to get screen shots of the chats I sent.

The post:
A week later I was at the pub trying to keep my mind occupied and I get a call from my step mum, she was sent a post on Facebook, it was her mum, she posted my full name and whereabouts calling me a predator and that she wanted this to go public, seeing and hearing this flipped my world upside down, an hour later my ex commented on the post saying “she’s only done this for herself, she’s ignoring me crying in the other room” they was on holiday together at the time, then the post got deleted. It was a sigh of relief but I still missed my ex so much. Even after everything, I wanted things to blow over and for her to realise what she was doing, later that day she reposted stuff on TikTok about (the accusation) making my stomach drop again, I was still blocked but looking via a private account.

Where I am at now:
She posted a story with not even bad pictures of me and her calling me “charity work” and I’m guessing she did that because I blocked her on this instagram account I used to view her stories and I blocked her off it. The post hurt of course but didn’t hurt that bad. The thing that hurts the most is a simple question and it’s why? I gave her everything I could I mean we was so close.
I can’t delete any pics, I still sleep with the teddy she bought me, her initials are still on my widgets I can’t bring myself to change any of it. I know she sleeps with the teddies I got her, maybe not now but she has Leo and Elliot in her room somewhere, Leo was gonna be the name of our first son, haha I even remember when we had a pregnancy scare. And I know it’s guaranteed she actually sleeps with the blanket I got her for valentines it’s on her bed in the background of her story.

The past few days verdict:
These past few days I’ve been low, and I mean low. Everything I said I went through in the beginning, does not compete with this. I miss her, not just the relationship but her herself, the routines we had, the future we was building, her family, our rituals, the memories, everything and anything to do with her I miss so very much. I’d do anything to get this girl back. We broke up on July 3rd, our 1 year was supposed to be on the 21st of the same month.
I’ve poured my heart out into ai asking it for a way to get her back craving certainty from it. Google believes she will come back, it even predicted 15 behavioural things from the relationship that she did, but I’m not relying on ai anymore. It’s a just a temporary boost of euphoria.
The fact is simple, despite everything, I still care for this girl more than anyone can comprehend, yes she puts a risk to my life that’s why I am not reaching out, but every day I pray she comes back, and I mean it literally, I’ve tried turning to god for help, I sobbed to my nans tombstone about her. Honestly I’ve been real low, yes it’s easy for people to say, move on, focus on yourself. But what isn’t easy is actually wanting to do that.
I believe I’ve truly made up my mind, and that’s the fact that I want her to come back to me more than anything. Yes people probably think it’s the worst thing to do, but a big part of me still holds onto the fact that I treated her like a queen even when I was hurting, I chose her over anyone, because I loved her.
If someone was to ask me would you do the 11 months again but It ends the same way, I’d say yes without a doubt. I’m not stupid, I know there is serious barriers this time preventing reconciliation, but surely she will come back right? I know she misses her ex I mean the girl was trauma bonded to him, but I was better than he ever was. I’m not competing I’m giving it space, I’m not begging nor chasing. But I pray everyday that I see that message pop up on my phone

What I want from other people:
If you’re going to comment something about me being delusional, do not waste your time, I’ve heard it all before. I believe everyone’s experiences are unique, and mine is something very unique. We had a deeply rooted relationship without a doubt, we had our problems, we had our ups and downs. But I’ve always believed that if you truly love someone, you should try and work on it. So that’s what I did I forgave and I treated her good again. Because she deserved it, she deserves the world and I honestly wish I could give her that. But sadly I’ve got to maintain the no contact. I’m just petrified the longer I give it the more she’ll move on. I know I don’t want to move on and no matter what any comment says it won’t change my mind about that, I want this to work in the end. I want it all back.

If someone was to ask me would you go through them 11 months again but it would end the same, I’d say yes (not sure if I’ve repeated myself here) straight away. Not because I want to get heart broken again, but because (you’ll have to believe me when I say this) this relationship and that girl meant more to me than just having a gf, she helped me in so many ways and I care for her and did care for her so deeply it’s baffling how she can hate me right now and paint me out as a monster.

I’ll cut it short here although there is so much I’d like to add, I could go on for hours. My goal is I want her back, will she miss me? Will she realise what she’s done? I really hope so.

Pls be kind haha