u/Brilliant_Dog_9066

https://preview.redd.it/v33zhog44zjh1.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=06ce6b8a3d98a5c2657820f7bda9efb1b2196c20

it was supposed to be plays

(14M) So basically i really like to draw. And i think i draw pretty good. But whenever i see other people's art, i kinda compare myself to them, like "damn their art is superior to mine" or "man, my art is worse than theirs because i dont do X and Y and they did", even though i had never received a negative comment on my art posts. And even when i try to somehow justify it in my head (id prefer to not say it) or even when i was talking to a guy and he said "Art is art, no matter how good or bad it is", my brain keeps comparing myself to them, and i think it might even turn into envy and then hatred.

13M. Basically, a while ago, maybe a few months i joined onto discord on a server related with my interests (please dont judge). It was kinda fun, and we were just talking. After that, a guy asked me do i want to join a server, where a guy is making a game similar to the one i like. I agreed. I met a few people, and even the developer of a game i really liked. I decided to stick with them for a while. After some time, due to a platform's policy changes and basically making it collapse, the dev decided to abandon the project and make a new game. Now from this point, 2 different things happen, the main proble. and a side problem, which ill describe but for now ill go with the main one. So as i said, the dev decided to abandon the project due to a platform's policy changes, and make a new game. It was kinda sad for me, but i was ok with it. Unfortunately, the game didint have ANY connection to the game earlier. Also i uh, got a little bit too comfortable and uhh i sort of started kinda oversharing and it deeply negatively impacted my mental health. So also due to that, when i was talking one day, i said a racial slur and got timeoutdd for a day. I decided to leave the server afterwards, but sadly i rejoined it after a few days. My mental health was at its all-time low then. I continued interacting with theese people, but it sorta turned out they dont like what i do, and so we basically started getting into arguments and then i got banned.

The second part from before:

So i said that they didint actually enjoy really what i did, so me naturally trying to fit in better asked them what do they like. They said that they are mostly centered on a few games from a different developer, so is decided to five them a shot. I immiedantly got fascinated by the franchise, but later i discovered that the game fandom from one of the games i enjoyed the most is basically dying, and 80% of the people there are lost souls from another game. Also something happened but i forgot what it was, that i started hating both the dev of the games aswell as the dev of the game that was making that new game.

So basically after i got banned, i decided to just stop thinking about it and put it in the past, but because i was young then and it all stuck to my mind i just cant stop thinking about all of it and its just stuck to me.

Thank you for reading. I am sorry if its all unserious and stuff, but if you could help me i would be glad. Also sorry if its not really readable or confusing, thats because im just writing it out of emotion.

I thought its a gunsaw sub

Piper. If you are somehow reading this, know that actually, i had done what i had to do there. Even though i was banned, i hope i at least left some afterthought into your mind. We both are different in so many ways on the surface, but near identical at the core. I hope you will eventually find the true meaning of your life, and whatever you are searching for. If you want to contact me, im always open, tho i doubt you even will encounter this post. I just wanted to let you know that you always will have a special place in my heart. Even if we dont know eachother.

I am so sorry. I take it all back. Im just.. not myself there. I think its because i was getting too comfortable with them, but i have to learn the hard truth: theese people are not my friends. They dont know me. They dont need me. I dont need them. Theyre just some randoms behind a screen. But i had to learn the hard way. What i said cannot be undone. But if one of you is reading this, please know that i take it all back. I am genuienly sorry. While i cant go back and risk getting myself in trouble again, i am going to come back once im actually ready mentally. Please forgive me.

I was just curious if anyone does know why the game was cancelled. I dont really have access to the discord server, so im asking here.

Why

Basically i am 14 and there is a game i really like, im not gonna get into the details though. After some time, i decided to look for a way to talk to people with the same interest. At the bottom of the page of the game, there was a link to a discord server. Naturally, i wanted to join it. After entering the link, i got shown the rules, nothing out of the ordinary. Except for the standard ones (no religion/politics, no hate speech, no harassment etc.) there was a rule that required you to be 17 or older. I got angry because the game is well, not really that serious, contrasting to other games that their servers dont have age restrictions and actually are far more serious than the game. After my dissapointment and confusion, i decided to somehow contact the developer to ask why is that. But since the developer and the game are not as popular as other titles, it is near impossible to even send an email. After my research, i also stumbled upon an information that the developer also cancelled support for the game because of some inside drama or other nonsense. So i sadly gave up my research and i had to be left in the dark while being dissapointed, angry and sad.

Thanks for reading about some internet random yapping about some shit that is not that serious i guess. I just had to say it somewhere or else i would just explode mentally :|