u/Chromatikai

Is anyone else blogging with Neocities? I'd love to read your thoughts! If you blog about writing or marine life I'll probably be an automatic huge fan, but I'm happy to read topics outside my special interests too :-)

I'm collecting a bunch of websites to link to on my site, and I want to find more cool ones. If you have a button please tell me so I can include a button for your site as well as a link!

Hello I am struggling to think and move well and I think I possessed the body I'm in and my friends tell me it's a delusion but I don't think so and they say I need to go to hospital or to a psych ward is that true? What are psych wards like? I like people but I don't like loud places.

I struggle to think so much everything is tangled. My head is so empty. I used to be a writer. Will I get that back? I'm scared my head will be empty or just full of nonsense forever.

I'm looking through my journal and it's very bad I don't remember writing any of it. Quote from it: "what if not demom but real too tired fix typist just want write tired scared brain all wrong can't think right why wrong what if stuck this like forever and can't write create useless parasite" I don't remember writing this and I'm scared I'll go back to thinking like this very soon what do I?

I'm already on medication for psychosis. Does anything know help with brain problems?

Hello I'm believing I'm a demon or not real I need to go see an excorcist but I'm in hospital now but it's been hours I'm still waiting and I know on some level it's fake in my head but it's so hard to believe it's fake in my heart can someone tell me I'm a person please?

If you've been wanting to fundraise but are worried you're too small I'd still go ahead! I have 161 followers and have 4 average views per stream but the community I found there is so supportive and kind that I overshot one of my charity goals by 50 dollars! :-)

There's a charity tab in the Twitch dashboard and it's really easy to set up. The money goes directly to the charity regardless of whether or not you meet your goal which rocks.

Alright that's all good luck and may you meet your goals!

I'm a small streamer, and I decided to try and raise money for charity even though I'm averaging just 4 viewers. It worked out splendidly! Not many people watch me but it seems I've found a super supportive community :-)

I raised 55 dollars for the WAAW, and 100 for the Monterary Bay Aquarium foundation in just a few months!

I was sitting at 31 dollars donated out of my 50 dollar goal when someone decided to be funny and donate 69 dollars at once XD

The previous image of the animation stays visible even though I only added it to five keyframes - so it's on keyframes 0-4, but it's visible from keyframes 5-9, which baffles me because it's not on keyframes 5-9. It's messing up the look of the animation unfortunately. Does anyone know how to fix this? Thank you for reading. I drew the animation in clip studio and imported it to krita which might have caused issues.

I really really like people. I think they're fascinating, I enjoy spending time even with strangers, and am an extravert, so it might be completely ridiculous for me to even be thinking of this.

But no matter how long I've known someone, I never feel more fond of them. Everyone stays at the same baseline of fondness. Which is very high, and my friends really seem to like my company and can't tell anything's different/wrong, but I only trust them more as time goes on if they're kind. That's it.

By baseline high fondness I mean I have to suppress the urge to spend hundreds of pounds on strangers to make them happy / fix medical problems / help them out because I'm on disability and I don't have that kind of money to spare.

I feel lonely if I don't talk to people. I like doing things for people and making them their preferred beverage. But maybe I don't like making friends I just like being of service or exchanging interesting ideas? I don't know I'm lost. I have to set reminders to talk to my friends or else I forget about them. I'm worried I'm going to be a bad friend no matter how hard I try because of how I feel.

One time I didn't talk to any of my friends when I was burnt out and didn't feel lonely for years. I was very content as long as I had my ideas and my writing. Maybe I'm still the same person now and I'm not wanting a friend I'm wanting someone to read my stories and interact with my ideas. I don't know.

Does this sound like I'm somewhere on the aplatonic spectrum? Thank you for reading.

I love music so much. Ever since getting good noise cancelling headphones (souncore q20i ones I think), it's been ages since I've had a shutdown. I love Glass Animal's Zaba album because it flows like water. I listen to music almost all day and vary between rock and ambient electronic and electric swing and more. One day I hope to learn how to make music even though I have a bad memory and get confused easily because music makes me so calm and happy and I want to make others happy too.

My current favourite songs are Melt in the Sun by Small Fools, Swashers by Yosi Horikawa, and Psylla by Glass Animals.

What's music like to you? What are some of your favourite songs? I'd love to know!

If I'm confused people don't judge me. If I write half a million words about a special interest and want to organise it no one thinks I'm ridiculous. People like my sea sheep plush. I feel very safe and understood here thank you everyone 🧡

I'm autistic and schizophrenic, and struggle with memory and executive function among other things.

I live in a flat, and carers come in the mornings and evenings to remind me to take my meds, but rent is expensive and my parents have to subsidise it.

I won't get into the details much, but I'm realising my parents are jerks despite having good intentions. EG my mom shared a chapter I wrote (cosmic horror) with my psychiatrist without my permission because she was worried about my mental health. She also gave me a buzzcut when I was too sick to take care of my hair and when I asked why she said "I didn't raise you to be filthy". My dad is just as bad. They've both yelled at me lots.

In short I'm scared that one day I'll snap back at them and won't be able to be polite anymore and they'll withdraw their support and I'll be homeless.

I feel like moving into a supported living flat or group home I can genuinely afford is a good idea for my future. I'm scared of what's going to happen to me if I don't do something soon.

What do you think? What are group homes like? I'd like to be able to set my own bedtimes and stay up late writing and drink coffee in the evenings sometimes - would I still be able to do that in a group home? Thank you for reading. For context I'm 22 and live in the UK.

My parents help pay my rent. My mom sent a chapter I wrote to my psychiatrist without my permission, has yelled at me and called me a cunt, forcibly gave me a buzzcut when I was too sick to take care of my hair, and my dad said he related to the man who groped me.

I feel scared. I want to tell them I don't trust them anymore, but I'm scared they'll stop helping me and I don't know what I'd do without their help. I'm scared. I'm sorry if this too heavy I gave it a spoiler tag because of that.

I talked about this to someone else and they recommended getting a social worker. I sent a referal today hopefully I filled in the form correctly. Does anyone have any other advice?

I hope your day is kind to you 🫂

I'm a writer, and I have a character Omacha who's an undead diplomat in training. Over the course of three years, most of it spent in psychosis, I wrote almost half a million words about him. Just about this one specific character.

My memory is very poor so I forgot most of what I'd written about him - when I read back through the notes I keep on getting insights about him that I want to incorporate into my novel. I don't want to ignore the works of my past self just because it was incoherent at times and difficult to understand.

I'm currently using Obsidian to try and organise it but it's still a lot and I'm getting overwhelmed. Does anyone have any tips?

I'm on 30 mg aripiprazole and 125 mg of clomipramine and they're very sedating overall. I haven't been able to workout much and I look soft and a bit tubby. So my brain went into panic mode and now I want to cut out not just all deserts but also even orange marmalade on toast in the mornings and maybe even peanut butter too. And I keep on checking what I look like.

I've had an eating disorder before and I feel like I'm slipping back into it - thing is I genuinely do need to eat healthily with the meds I'm on but what I'm doing right now isn't healthy even though it feels like it is.

Thank you for reading I hope your day has been kinder to you.

I like to sew, 3d model, make digital art, stream, worldbuild, write fantasy, make conlangs, and compose electronic music. I'm scared I'll never be good at anything in particular especially because my memory is poor. I'm thinking if I want to become skilled at everything I'm going to need a solid routine and a schedule. It all brings me so much fulfillment I don't want to give up anything. Does anyone have any tips?

https://preview.redd.it/i95a6mimym2h1.png?width=492&format=png&auto=webp&s=394fdaae822ef40ed2ab54a2645d3f13291c633e

https://preview.redd.it/5csyya1uym2h1.png?width=1919&format=png&auto=webp&s=72ffbc6128d6a5acc567b1a333dd73cabbf83414

Here's the person I'm making (Omacha), and here's what happens when I bring up the asset thingy. It said to click and drag to what you're applying the asset to, but I can't because it takes up the whole screen. I'm very new to blender (just started today) but have some art experience. I tried dragging on different parts of it to reveal the model underneath but it just shrunk the asset window.

That's about it! There was a big creepy spider stuck in the sink, but I managed to save it with some paper :-)

I save them because if I was a spider I'd appreciate that.